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The Tending Instinct: How Nurturing is Essential to Who We Are and How We Live
A groundbreaking work that reveals how the instinct to "tend and befriend" is vital for human society.
In times of crisis and upheaval, our responses to stress become especially important. We have long heard about the "fight or flight" response, but renowned psychologist Shelley E. Taylor points out that hardwired in females -- both humans and those of other species -- is an instinct that can transcend "fight or flight." Their "tend and befriend" response is not only demonstrable but, as Taylor deftly explains in this eye-opening work, a key ingredient in human social life.
With great skill and insight, Taylor examines stress, relationships, and human society through the special lens of women's biology. She draws on genetics, evolutionary psychology, physiology, and neuroscience to show how this tending process begins virtually at the moment of conception and literally crafts the biology of offspring through genes that rely on caregiving for their expression. Taylor also examines what drives women to seek each other's company, and to tend to the young and the infirm -- acts that greatly benefit the group but often at great cost to the individual.
In the tradition of works such as Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence and Steven Pinker's The Language Instinct , Taylor's book will forever change the way we view ourselves, and will revolutionize our understanding of the role of women and nurturing in maintaining a stable society.
In times of crisis and upheaval, our responses to stress become especially important. We have long heard about the "fight or flight" response, but renowned psychologist Shelley E. Taylor points out that hardwired in females -- both humans and those of other species -- is an instinct that can transcend "fight or flight." Their "tend and befriend" response is not only demonstrable but, as Taylor deftly explains in this eye-opening work, a key ingredient in human social life.
With great skill and insight, Taylor examines stress, relationships, and human society through the special lens of women's biology. She draws on genetics, evolutionary psychology, physiology, and neuroscience to show how this tending process begins virtually at the moment of conception and literally crafts the biology of offspring through genes that rely on caregiving for their expression. Taylor also examines what drives women to seek each other's company, and to tend to the young and the infirm -- acts that greatly benefit the group but often at great cost to the individual.
In the tradition of works such as Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence and Steven Pinker's The Language Instinct , Taylor's book will forever change the way we view ourselves, and will revolutionize our understanding of the role of women and nurturing in maintaining a stable society.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published May 8, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 18, 2007
This book presents a new view of the importance of relationships and social support in maintaining good health. Taylor presents her idea that women respond to stress differently than men do, by "tending and befriending." An important step forward in the stress research. I like her argument though it has a few shortcomings.
September 17, 2021
I rather appreciated being female after this, an unusual feeling for me. While the sociological drawbacks still outweigh them, there’s some psychobiological benefits to it.
January 4, 2010
I learned some things about gender differences that have helped me understand relationships better. This was Nancy Stockwell's book club pick.
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February 21, 2012The Tending Instinct: How Nurturing is Essential to Who We Are and How We Live by Shelley E. Taylor (2002)
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews