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Deliverance
On a cold winter night, the kingdom of Daldussa invaded Cierith, a peaceful and prosperous kingdom. The king of Daldussa, Bogdan, murdered the king and queen of Cierith in cold blood while their young daughter watched in horror. Bogdan then proclaimed himself dictator of the conquered land.
Ten years later, the princess of Cierith, now under the alias "Crystal," is the leader of a rebel group called Deliverance and she uses her magic to fight Bogdan's tyranny. She has many friends and allies who aid her, including Blaze, King Bogdan's only son. Cast aside by his cruel father, Prince Blaze joins the rebellion bent on revenge.
Soon Crystal and Blaze will discover that they must both fight for their lives not only to protect everyone else they hold dear, but each other as well.
Author's Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/brittanycome...
Ten years later, the princess of Cierith, now under the alias "Crystal," is the leader of a rebel group called Deliverance and she uses her magic to fight Bogdan's tyranny. She has many friends and allies who aid her, including Blaze, King Bogdan's only son. Cast aside by his cruel father, Prince Blaze joins the rebellion bent on revenge.
Soon Crystal and Blaze will discover that they must both fight for their lives not only to protect everyone else they hold dear, but each other as well.
Author's Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/brittanycome...
230 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2012
404 people want to read
About the author
Brittany Comeaux
4 books14 followersI have been writing stories since I was 11 years old. Reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is what got me into fantasy. I also occasionally like a good murder mystery or thriller.
I live with my husband and daughter in Southwestern Louisiana.
To follow me on Facebook, follow this link: https://www.facebook.com/brittanycome...
Twitter: @BriCx_Author
I live with my husband and daughter in Southwestern Louisiana.
To follow me on Facebook, follow this link: https://www.facebook.com/brittanycome...
Twitter: @BriCx_Author
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 10, 2013
This is an amazing book by a fabulous new author. It is filled with fantasy, humor, conflict, romance, and drama. If you like The Wizard of Oz or Harry Potter, you will love Deliverance. Bravo!!!
July 26, 2015
I had been following the author for some time now on their Deviantart account, which is how I came about this novel. I'm not an avid fantasy reader, but I figured I'd give this one a shot.
Unfortunately, things didn't start off so great. While reading through the first few paragraphs of the prologue, I found myself re-reading sections over a few times to get a grip on things. The wording is rather bland and vague making it difficult to follow. The number of mistakes was rather striking, especially after hearing that this version I was reading was recently updated. The issues were VERY obvious (there was even one in the first sentence) and I found it hard to believe so many things could be missed. Poor wording, grammar, tenses, spelling, etc. That's leaving out things like little-to-no detail, confusing descriptions, repetitive wording, no unique character voices, etc.
An example of repetitive wording: "For ten years, the power hungry king had occupied the castle and had allowed the soldiers to occupy the cities and order all civilians around." - Chapter 1.
Things like this appear almost every other paragraph.
Lacking in detail: "The general removed his helmet to reveal a soft, sad expression." - Prologue.
What did his face look like? Skin color? Age? This sentence felt like it was supposed to be significant since the very next sentence following it explained that his fellow soldiers had never seen such an expression from him before, but it fell flat to me.
Awkward wording: "The hall was built on a large, rocky hill that had apparently been carved away to add the hall, for the walls on the sides of the building were covered in rock and the steps in the front of the hall had been carved into the hill." - Chapter 1.
I don't want to state such poor things about a book, especially for an indie-author, but this novel could definitely benefit from more proofreading.
The lack of emotion was also prevalent, even in the opening scenes. A massacre had just happened and, while people were described as being distraught and broken, there was nothing there behind those few words. I didn't /feel/ like they were distraught and broken, I was /told/. This isn't just limited to emotion, scenery and buildings are also not /shown/, I'm just told they're there. The overall writing style seemed rather juvenile, even if it is supposed to be aimed at a younger audience.
"Even though dwarves and elves never got along..."
Why don't they get along? What issues are there between them? What are the politics? This is the only time this is ever mentioned. It has no impact on the story what-so-ever. (One could argue the main dwarf and elf character, but that could be chalked up to general friendly rivalry.)
"He wasn’t abnormal in size..."
What does that mean?
"Taryn was a halfling. Halflings were beings that were very small, roughly half the height of a human, but they were very fast and nearly impossible to catch off guard."
This doesn't explain that much about them, I still don't understand what a 'halfling' is. Regardless of how intimate my knowledge is on general fantasy characters, given the indefinite number of ways they can be changed and represented, depending on the worlds one wants to create, they should be more deeply described. Similar with the elves and dwarves.
There is so much lack of world building and I'm not even all the way through the first chapter. (To be clear, I finished the book, and this is still true.) For fantasy books, world building is CRUCIAL. I have no idea of the rules of this world, what the people are like, the politics, anything! A lot of the plot is lacking purpose. Explanations are given, conversations are had, and the story evolves, but it has no meaning.
As an example, in chapter four:
To avoid sounding repetitive, I'll just say that these problems continue throughout the book, very frequently. It was difficult, actually, to choose to leave things out, given the number of mistakes I wanted to point out in this review.
I did finish this book and the issues persisted the entire way through. It's a shame, I did want to like it. The plot felt weak and predictable. The characters all acted and sounded like five year olds. The main character herself was surprisingly not all that independent and able given that she's apparently skilled in fighting and magic, but ends up being a damsel more than once. I understand the plot decisions, but then I wouldn't make her out to be so capable to begin with, it makes it unbelievable.
My thoughts on the ending:
That's not to say that this book is all bad. The story premise seemed interesting at times, and had those errors and issues not been there, it would've held itself up much stronger. It has promise, it just needs a lot of fine-tuning.
Unfortunately, things didn't start off so great. While reading through the first few paragraphs of the prologue, I found myself re-reading sections over a few times to get a grip on things. The wording is rather bland and vague making it difficult to follow. The number of mistakes was rather striking, especially after hearing that this version I was reading was recently updated. The issues were VERY obvious (there was even one in the first sentence) and I found it hard to believe so many things could be missed. Poor wording, grammar, tenses, spelling, etc. That's leaving out things like little-to-no detail, confusing descriptions, repetitive wording, no unique character voices, etc.
An example of repetitive wording: "For ten years, the power hungry king had occupied the castle and had allowed the soldiers to occupy the cities and order all civilians around." - Chapter 1.
Things like this appear almost every other paragraph.
Lacking in detail: "The general removed his helmet to reveal a soft, sad expression." - Prologue.
What did his face look like? Skin color? Age? This sentence felt like it was supposed to be significant since the very next sentence following it explained that his fellow soldiers had never seen such an expression from him before, but it fell flat to me.
Awkward wording: "The hall was built on a large, rocky hill that had apparently been carved away to add the hall, for the walls on the sides of the building were covered in rock and the steps in the front of the hall had been carved into the hill." - Chapter 1.
I don't want to state such poor things about a book, especially for an indie-author, but this novel could definitely benefit from more proofreading.
The lack of emotion was also prevalent, even in the opening scenes. A massacre had just happened and, while people were described as being distraught and broken, there was nothing there behind those few words. I didn't /feel/ like they were distraught and broken, I was /told/. This isn't just limited to emotion, scenery and buildings are also not /shown/, I'm just told they're there. The overall writing style seemed rather juvenile, even if it is supposed to be aimed at a younger audience.
"Even though dwarves and elves never got along..."
Why don't they get along? What issues are there between them? What are the politics? This is the only time this is ever mentioned. It has no impact on the story what-so-ever. (One could argue the main dwarf and elf character, but that could be chalked up to general friendly rivalry.)
"He wasn’t abnormal in size..."
What does that mean?
"Taryn was a halfling. Halflings were beings that were very small, roughly half the height of a human, but they were very fast and nearly impossible to catch off guard."
This doesn't explain that much about them, I still don't understand what a 'halfling' is. Regardless of how intimate my knowledge is on general fantasy characters, given the indefinite number of ways they can be changed and represented, depending on the worlds one wants to create, they should be more deeply described. Similar with the elves and dwarves.
There is so much lack of world building and I'm not even all the way through the first chapter. (To be clear, I finished the book, and this is still true.) For fantasy books, world building is CRUCIAL. I have no idea of the rules of this world, what the people are like, the politics, anything! A lot of the plot is lacking purpose. Explanations are given, conversations are had, and the story evolves, but it has no meaning.
As an example, in chapter four:
To avoid sounding repetitive, I'll just say that these problems continue throughout the book, very frequently. It was difficult, actually, to choose to leave things out, given the number of mistakes I wanted to point out in this review.
I did finish this book and the issues persisted the entire way through. It's a shame, I did want to like it. The plot felt weak and predictable. The characters all acted and sounded like five year olds. The main character herself was surprisingly not all that independent and able given that she's apparently skilled in fighting and magic, but ends up being a damsel more than once. I understand the plot decisions, but then I wouldn't make her out to be so capable to begin with, it makes it unbelievable.
My thoughts on the ending:
That's not to say that this book is all bad. The story premise seemed interesting at times, and had those errors and issues not been there, it would've held itself up much stronger. It has promise, it just needs a lot of fine-tuning.
August 19, 2014
The first indie book I have ever read. Came upon the author's profile on DeviantArt, containing some excerpts and drawings, and I thought to give it a try. It is a good novel, better than many mass-published fantasy books, and I was pleasantly surprised.
The strongest point is the plot. Crystal, an exiled princess - together with her friends and later joined by the enemy king's son, Blaze - must find several magical shards in order to avert a great menace. They go through various adventures (the quest for each shard is radically different), and finally triumph over evil. The plot twists and the ending were great.
The characters are so and so. The main characters are well-developed are generally likeable, but the male characters are not well-written. Blaze's lovestruck phase (and behaviour in general) is kind of unrealistic; I cannot imagine a man acting or talking like him.
The writing is great, the language generally flows well and is never tedious.
The weakest point is the dialogue; the characters often over-discuss things, keep stating or repeating obvious things, and their voices are sometimes artificial.
Note: I read the first edition paperback version in 2012. I can see that currently it is at its 4th edition, presumably revised several times.
The strongest point is the plot. Crystal, an exiled princess - together with her friends and later joined by the enemy king's son, Blaze - must find several magical shards in order to avert a great menace. They go through various adventures (the quest for each shard is radically different), and finally triumph over evil. The plot twists and the ending were great.
The characters are so and so. The main characters are well-developed are generally likeable, but the male characters are not well-written. Blaze's lovestruck phase (and behaviour in general) is kind of unrealistic; I cannot imagine a man acting or talking like him.
The writing is great, the language generally flows well and is never tedious.
The weakest point is the dialogue; the characters often over-discuss things, keep stating or repeating obvious things, and their voices are sometimes artificial.
Note: I read the first edition paperback version in 2012. I can see that currently it is at its 4th edition, presumably revised several times.
June 25, 2013
My biggest complaint with the book is in the voicing. It is inherently juvenile, and all the characters have this same voice, which made it impossible for me to connect with any of them. There is a lot of dialogue and it really grated on me to read about adult characters yelling at each other to "SHUT UP!" between every plot point. I find this to be unacceptable behavior when one person disagrees with another. I'm sure others would enjoy the book more than I did for this reason, as its audience is aimed at younger readers.
I was interested to see the ending and I particularly enjoyed the solution of the conflict. I find the concept of "f---------s" being a sort of saintly trait as a novel idea.
This story has the potential to be greatly appreciated by fans of YA fantasy, but first it needs thorough revision by an editor and correction of technical errors.
I was interested to see the ending and I particularly enjoyed the solution of the conflict. I find the concept of "f---------s" being a sort of saintly trait as a novel idea.
This story has the potential to be greatly appreciated by fans of YA fantasy, but first it needs thorough revision by an editor and correction of technical errors.
May 26, 2013
A fresh face to the world of fantasy writing, you can't go wrong with the new novelist, Brittany Comeaux's book, 'Deliverance'!!! From start to finish I couldn't put it down. The characters come to life between the pages of her book and take you right along on their adventure. Make sure not to miss the chance to read Deliverance! Its a must read!
June 11, 2014
This was an alright book, good quick fun read. Found it after I saw her other book on Goodreads (the White-Wolf) - read the first 3 chapters on Facebook and decided to check this one out.
Looking forward to the White Wolf though, that preview for it on FB has me waiting.
Looking forward to the White Wolf though, that preview for it on FB has me waiting.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews