AARP The Other Talk: A Guide to Talking with Your Adult Children about the Rest of Your Life: A Guide to Talking with Your Adult Children about the Rest of Your Life

by Tim Prosch

A one-of-a-kind practical guide to making the tough decisions parents and their adult children inevitably face

It was a rite of passage for you to have the Talk with your kids about the beginning of life (as in the birds and the bees). As you get older, you need to have the Other Talk--about the later years of life. And you need to have it now, not after a crisis hits.

The Other Talk helps you take control of your life so when the time comes, your kids can make decisions based on what you want. This groundbreaking guide provides the practical advice and inspiration you need to have open, honest discussions about subjects that can be difficult to talk about.

Unlike other books that help adult children who are suddenly thrust into a decision-making role, The Other Talk gives you the tools to develop a strong partnership with your kids to plan for the rest of your life.
The Other Talk helps you address and answer these and other questions in a calm, measured way--freeing you up to enjoy your life and your family.

Genres: Nonfiction, Family, Self Help, Death, Audiobook, Finance

240 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2012

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book that I highly recommend!

I read it and then bought it for my parents to read.

The purpose and premise of the book is to have the difficult conversations now about what you want for your last chapters in life. By having dialogue and communicating needs and wishes, there won't be misunderstandings....or the misunderstandings will be fewer.

This book provides an open door to begin those critical conversations.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book for Boomer's to read, and their kids too perhaps. Much has been written in recent years about retiree financial preparations and end of life healthcare decisions, but this book's primary addition to the literature is to emphasize the necessity of family and loved ones' involvement well before action time arises. Too often the time for loved ones to step in and make the hard decisions comes suddenly and unexpectedly. It is therefore important that the hard talks and preparations be made well in advance when they don't yet seem necessary, with ongoing discussions as situations change, so that family is prepared and knows your wishes regarding those hard, but inevitable, decisions. The point is well taken; most of us tend to put off these discussions, too often until too late.

The book is short and a bit padded and the main point can be gleaned with a careful skimming, so the book can be a quick read. The book also includes numerous potentially helpful lists on discussion points, important documents to have, information needed by family, online and other references, etc.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read it. 3.5. Got it from my parents for Christmas. Some very useful things to think about as the child (as I'm not a parent). Is this the prepping for having one of these talks for our family? Seems like an incredibly useful thing to do.

[Sharla Moody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful for us as we move into talking to our kids about our future and their role. This has some great steps and great conversation starters. It also has some great lists and "homework" type activities.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do you really want your last years to be confused chaos? Me neither. This book gives you a good introduction on how to talk to your adult children (but really, this is for everyone - children of aging parents, single people, siblings, those in committed relationships, young and old) about the last years of your life. Not pleasant reading, but necessary, I think.

There is a lot of padding in this, and I ended up skimming, and still got so much out of it.

[Julie Biles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although Prosch's target audience is the person preparing for his or her own death one day, I found this book, at this time, very helpful as the adult child of elderly parents. In chapter 10, "Taking Charge at the End of Your Life", the author explains what can happen if an individual became unable to make medical decisions for oneself. I won't lie, this is not an enjoyable read but it serves a great purpose.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

For someone in this season of life certainly should be on the radar if you are over 60. Essentially the conversation with your family not only around end of life but just as important the time in leading up to the end of life. Which may be filled with potential health and financial issues becoming of critical importance to have some sort of working plan in place to deal with things as they happen. A critical must read for sure.

[Michelle Romano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received this book from my mother who is in her 80's as we prepare to talk about her wishes for now and when she dies. This book is a quick, intriguing read all about how to live in the final years of life and what important things to talk about along the way, including the information to have ready for when one passes. I was surprised that AARP put out this book and I gained much insight.

[Rhonda Habel · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a lot of really helpful information in this book. I’m glad I read it.

[Eliz]

Excellent advice.

[Kim Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful to the kid who didn’t get the other talk, and now is navigating taking care of elderly parents

[Terri Guest · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful information

[Kara Marziali · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is more than a decade old, but still has useful information.

[Juanita Sabet · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Other Talk

The other talk: I liked the first few pages. It started getting boring because it kept powering out example after example while my whole purpose was to find out what to do and how. Finally more than halfway through it started to give advice. Then a short time later it just went on to give a list of links to where to fond more online information and forms. If first chapters had been more brief, I would have saved a lot of time that would have allowed me to get to work sooner. I would probably recommend this book to younger people so they have a better idea of what growing older is like.

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I work in the preretirement industry so enjoy reading books about retirement and retirement planning. This one encourages a discussion between aging parents and their children so if anything happens, the children will know what to do to take care of their parents.

Do you want to be on life-support and your life artificially postponed? Will you be able to face the fact that you can't drive anymore? If you get dementia, who will take care of your financial matters? Will you continue to live in your house or will you have to move to a retirement home or in with your children? Will you have enough money since we are living longer than past generations? These are just some of the things this book brings to mind that you should discuss with your children. Yes, they are touchy subjects but it's good to have your wishes expressed and written down in case something does happen to you so your children will know what to do. Otherwise, they might do something you wouldn't have wanted them to do and this could cause even more tension.

There are quotes from participants of focus groups providing real life experiences and thoughts. In addition, there are online resources and tools and tips in the appendices (though they are American, they will give you some ideas to search in your country).

It's a good book to get you thinking about getting your affairs in order.

Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2013/10...

[Nick]

A very important book - this book encourages you to open a dialogue between parents and adult children to discuss end-of-life items, doing it while everyone is of sound mind and body, before tragedies happen and decisions need to be made that could potential rip apart a family. A very frank and matter-of-fact book - a quick read. I recommend it if your parents are still with us, or if you are older and have children.

[Jimmy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent guide to having the discussion that no one wants to have--what happens when we as parents can't live on our own? I'm buying my own copy and hope not to procrastinate too long on getting it together.

[Ellis Andras · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of us who have adult children should read this book!

[Egarner]

Will continue to use this book...bought it for both of my kids...and plan and pledge to have an annual talk with kids about me.

[Steven Woods · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would recommend buying this for your parents to help provide tools for beginning this uncomfortable conversation. It's better to be proactive than reactive in this arena.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a fun read by any stretch, but a very helpful resource. There were a lot of topics in this book that I hadn't even considered talking about with my mom.

[Hom Sack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good advice for those who have ignored or put off having this talk and a review for those who haven't. The list of online resource in the appendix is especially useful.