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Happiness as a Second Language: A Guidebook to Achieving Lasting Permanent
If you didn't grow up speaking Greek, you wouldn't expect to leave home and instantly be fluent in it, would you? So why is it that we expect to suddenly be "fluent" in Happiness if Happiness wasn't practiced in our homes?
Happiness as a Second Language teaches happiness step-by-step, in the same manner as one would learn a new language. Each chapter builds on the concepts and exercises in the previous one, starting with the most basic lessons, progressing through the intermediate stages, and finally graduating to the more advanced concepts. Readers will learn how to introduce themselves as happy; how to count; how to use the days of the week, months of the year, and all the colors in the rainbow to be happy. Readers learn the verbs, nouns and adjectives of Happiness; Happiness in the present, past, future and "future uncertain" tense; how to overcome the influence of those who actively try to negate their happiness, and how to avoid the setbacks that happen when learning anything new.
The writing is simple and straightforward, the instructions easy to follow, and the sample situations familiar, touching, often heartbreaking and sometimes hysterical. The true value of Happiness as a Second Language is that everyone who diligently works to achieve the happiness promised in the premise will find positive results from the very first page.
Happiness as a Second Language teaches happiness step-by-step, in the same manner as one would learn a new language. Each chapter builds on the concepts and exercises in the previous one, starting with the most basic lessons, progressing through the intermediate stages, and finally graduating to the more advanced concepts. Readers will learn how to introduce themselves as happy; how to count; how to use the days of the week, months of the year, and all the colors in the rainbow to be happy. Readers learn the verbs, nouns and adjectives of Happiness; Happiness in the present, past, future and "future uncertain" tense; how to overcome the influence of those who actively try to negate their happiness, and how to avoid the setbacks that happen when learning anything new.
The writing is simple and straightforward, the instructions easy to follow, and the sample situations familiar, touching, often heartbreaking and sometimes hysterical. The true value of Happiness as a Second Language is that everyone who diligently works to achieve the happiness promised in the premise will find positive results from the very first page.
148 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2013
16 people are currently reading
250 people want to read
About the author
Valerie Alexander
6 books12 followersValerie Alexander started her career in the Silicon Valley during the Dot-Com gold rush of the late 1990s, where she worked on some of the most high-profile transactions of the decade as a securities lawyer, an investment banker and an Internet executive.
From 2000 to 2001, she returned to Indiana to care for her mother, and in her absence the Internet bubble burst, leaving her no choice but to move to Los Angeles to write and direct movies.
As a screenwriter, Valerie has worked with Joel Schumacher, Catherine Zeta Jones, Ice Cube and others. Not satisfied writing scripts that never got made, she co-wrote, produced and directed the award-winning short film, Making the Cut, as well as numerous commercials and public service announcements.
Valerie received her B.A. from Trinity University and her J.D. and M.S. degrees from the University of California, Berkeley. In the spring of 2010, she returned to Berkeley Law to teach the legal ethics seminar, "Representation of Law in Film," and she continues to lecture at colleges and film schools across the country with her entertaining talk, "How to Survive in Hollywood (Despite Having a Female Brain)."
Valerie lives in Los Angeles with her husband, writer and producer Rick Alexander, and their ill-mannered German Shepherd, Pepper.
From 2000 to 2001, she returned to Indiana to care for her mother, and in her absence the Internet bubble burst, leaving her no choice but to move to Los Angeles to write and direct movies.
As a screenwriter, Valerie has worked with Joel Schumacher, Catherine Zeta Jones, Ice Cube and others. Not satisfied writing scripts that never got made, she co-wrote, produced and directed the award-winning short film, Making the Cut, as well as numerous commercials and public service announcements.
Valerie received her B.A. from Trinity University and her J.D. and M.S. degrees from the University of California, Berkeley. In the spring of 2010, she returned to Berkeley Law to teach the legal ethics seminar, "Representation of Law in Film," and she continues to lecture at colleges and film schools across the country with her entertaining talk, "How to Survive in Hollywood (Despite Having a Female Brain)."
Valerie lives in Los Angeles with her husband, writer and producer Rick Alexander, and their ill-mannered German Shepherd, Pepper.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 23, 2013
Really nice and quick read. Valerie weaves in her experiences and gives us a course on how to be happy as if she's teaching how to speak Spanish. I liked the format. 2 gripes: 1) she says you don't need to forgive in order to be happy (I disagree) and 2) she says if you read the book quick you read it wrong because it's a textbook. But...it's not. And reading books in a day or a few hours makes me happy :)
February 20, 2017
I thought I knew everything about Happiness and was enlightened. Then I moved across the world and shook up my life. During this time of chaos I went back to Happiness as a Second Language and the refresher course helped me to once again recognize happiness while I was having it. This is a book to keep in your library, hardcover or digital.
November 23, 2013
Really good little book about Happiness - I recommend it and keep it around as a sort of go to book to remind myself of all the little places I can find happiness if and when i ever forget!
July 18, 2021
‘Believe me, you can be fluent in Happiness. It’s easier than you think.’
California author Valerie Alexander lives what she advises – a successful life as an author, speaker, entrepreneur, educator and filmmaker. And her credits aren’t confined to those areas. After earning her degrees from Trinity University and the University of California Berkeley, she practiced corporate securities law as an IPO lawyer, served as an investment banker, and the VP of Business Development for PixelWorld Networks and The CLIC. Pertinent to this book she holds an Honors Certificate in the Science of Happiness from U.C., Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center and is a noted speaker on Happiness, Happiness in the Workplace and the Advancement of Women. Her books to date – HOW WOMEN CAN SUCCEED IN THE WORKPLACE, SUCCESS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE, co-author of three other books on the ‘…as a Second Language Series – PARENTING, CREATIVITY and GRIEF, and this book – HAPPINESS...AS A SECOND LANGUAGE.
Valerie’s commitment to her subject of Happiness as a Second Language is initially stated in the dramatic Foreword: ”I figured out that it’s not my circumstances that make me happy, it’s that I have to be a happy human being. It has to be who I am: my core. Like protecting my family or believing in God, that core must be unshakeable.’ She then proceeds to prep the reader, ‘For most people, Happiness is as foreign a language as Greek. The difference is, we don’t seem to think we have to learn Happiness. We expect it to come to us naturally, or believe that it will magically arrive when our circumstances change. In fact, we probably never think about it at all. However, if Happiness is not your native language, then you have to teach yourself to “speak it,” through the same steps you would take to teach yourself Greek.’
Using her inventive and inordinately creative manner of ‘teaching’ (aka encouraging learning), Valerie shares her concept of learning the language of Happiness in a manner that is not only accessible, but rewardingly simple! After the active sessions, she offers some common phrases (in actuality, some fine quotations from famous people) to memorize to think about or even use when situations arise that call for engaging Happiness as our second language. It all works very comfortably and allows Valerie’s fine guidance to enter into our own possession! Recommended.
California author Valerie Alexander lives what she advises – a successful life as an author, speaker, entrepreneur, educator and filmmaker. And her credits aren’t confined to those areas. After earning her degrees from Trinity University and the University of California Berkeley, she practiced corporate securities law as an IPO lawyer, served as an investment banker, and the VP of Business Development for PixelWorld Networks and The CLIC. Pertinent to this book she holds an Honors Certificate in the Science of Happiness from U.C., Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center and is a noted speaker on Happiness, Happiness in the Workplace and the Advancement of Women. Her books to date – HOW WOMEN CAN SUCCEED IN THE WORKPLACE, SUCCESS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE, co-author of three other books on the ‘…as a Second Language Series – PARENTING, CREATIVITY and GRIEF, and this book – HAPPINESS...AS A SECOND LANGUAGE.
Valerie’s commitment to her subject of Happiness as a Second Language is initially stated in the dramatic Foreword: ”I figured out that it’s not my circumstances that make me happy, it’s that I have to be a happy human being. It has to be who I am: my core. Like protecting my family or believing in God, that core must be unshakeable.’ She then proceeds to prep the reader, ‘For most people, Happiness is as foreign a language as Greek. The difference is, we don’t seem to think we have to learn Happiness. We expect it to come to us naturally, or believe that it will magically arrive when our circumstances change. In fact, we probably never think about it at all. However, if Happiness is not your native language, then you have to teach yourself to “speak it,” through the same steps you would take to teach yourself Greek.’
Using her inventive and inordinately creative manner of ‘teaching’ (aka encouraging learning), Valerie shares her concept of learning the language of Happiness in a manner that is not only accessible, but rewardingly simple! After the active sessions, she offers some common phrases (in actuality, some fine quotations from famous people) to memorize to think about or even use when situations arise that call for engaging Happiness as our second language. It all works very comfortably and allows Valerie’s fine guidance to enter into our own possession! Recommended.
September 16, 2013
This is one book you will definitely not be sorry you bought.
I love collecting good books on how to be happy, how to reframe your thoughts and take back your ability to direct your life towards a better outcome. My background is in Psychology, so perhaps I'm a bit of a geek with a weird passion for books on happiness, but I know what works and what doesn't. What I love about Happiness as a Second Language is that Ms. Alexander tells you right up front that this is not an easy path, nor is her book an easy read. It's a workbook. Learning to think, speak, and behave in happiness is rather like learning a new language. This isn't a common approach; most books tell you, "Anyone can learn to be happy, and it's so easy! Just follow these simple steps." But it's not easy -- it's work! Ms. Alexander never lies to you about that.
Her stark honesty about certain details of her life earned my respect, as well. She makes the claim that she is an expert in being happy, and she shows you exactly how she earned that expertise, no matter how it may make her look at first. Not only is it courageous, but it shows that anyone can ascend from the darkest depths of despair to be their own expert in happiness and captain of their soul. If they truly do the work, of course.
My favorite line in the book is toward the beginning: "A lot of the exercises in this book are about creating signal disruptors or signal boosters for your happiness." Ms. Alexander puts it so simply, but this is really a very significant concept in certain approaches in Psychology. This is one of the first and most important steps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, actually: becoming aware of the damaging thought or belief and seeking to replace it. It trains the brain to disrupt the damaging thought/belief system, which thus begins to change our behavior. Her emphasis on personal responsibility, the power of choice, and the ability to create our own situations and maintain our mood --or even change it as we will-- is a nice touch of Existential Psychology, as well.
To her I say a very well done! She's definitely done her research.
These steps do work. Many of them are similar to the kinds of homework a counselor or therapist would give you if you were a client. As long as you have no significant difficulties which absolutely require a licensed counselor such as medication or a disorder, these methods can work for you if you apply them with diligence and dedication.
She even taught me a thing or two. Her very first step, to declare yourself happy, to say, "I am a happy person," is something I have utilized to great effect. In my high-stress life, I caught myself brooding and realized --for the first time-- I have a particular posture and habit I do when I become lost in my stress, which shortens my temper considerably. In the car, I said out loud, "I am a happy person," and found I sat up straighter, lifted my head higher, and stopped my nervous habit. I could not continue those habits and maintain my conscious happiness. Now I catch myself when I'm beginning to crawl into the body of a stressed and irritated person, and tell myself I am happy. I change tack immediately.
Thank you, Ms. Alexander. I will definitely keep this workbook on my work shelf, and will be recommending it to anyone I work with in the future!
*I received a free copy from the author in exchange for an honest review.
I love collecting good books on how to be happy, how to reframe your thoughts and take back your ability to direct your life towards a better outcome. My background is in Psychology, so perhaps I'm a bit of a geek with a weird passion for books on happiness, but I know what works and what doesn't. What I love about Happiness as a Second Language is that Ms. Alexander tells you right up front that this is not an easy path, nor is her book an easy read. It's a workbook. Learning to think, speak, and behave in happiness is rather like learning a new language. This isn't a common approach; most books tell you, "Anyone can learn to be happy, and it's so easy! Just follow these simple steps." But it's not easy -- it's work! Ms. Alexander never lies to you about that.
Her stark honesty about certain details of her life earned my respect, as well. She makes the claim that she is an expert in being happy, and she shows you exactly how she earned that expertise, no matter how it may make her look at first. Not only is it courageous, but it shows that anyone can ascend from the darkest depths of despair to be their own expert in happiness and captain of their soul. If they truly do the work, of course.
My favorite line in the book is toward the beginning: "A lot of the exercises in this book are about creating signal disruptors or signal boosters for your happiness." Ms. Alexander puts it so simply, but this is really a very significant concept in certain approaches in Psychology. This is one of the first and most important steps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, actually: becoming aware of the damaging thought or belief and seeking to replace it. It trains the brain to disrupt the damaging thought/belief system, which thus begins to change our behavior. Her emphasis on personal responsibility, the power of choice, and the ability to create our own situations and maintain our mood --or even change it as we will-- is a nice touch of Existential Psychology, as well.
To her I say a very well done! She's definitely done her research.
These steps do work. Many of them are similar to the kinds of homework a counselor or therapist would give you if you were a client. As long as you have no significant difficulties which absolutely require a licensed counselor such as medication or a disorder, these methods can work for you if you apply them with diligence and dedication.
She even taught me a thing or two. Her very first step, to declare yourself happy, to say, "I am a happy person," is something I have utilized to great effect. In my high-stress life, I caught myself brooding and realized --for the first time-- I have a particular posture and habit I do when I become lost in my stress, which shortens my temper considerably. In the car, I said out loud, "I am a happy person," and found I sat up straighter, lifted my head higher, and stopped my nervous habit. I could not continue those habits and maintain my conscious happiness. Now I catch myself when I'm beginning to crawl into the body of a stressed and irritated person, and tell myself I am happy. I change tack immediately.
Thank you, Ms. Alexander. I will definitely keep this workbook on my work shelf, and will be recommending it to anyone I work with in the future!
*I received a free copy from the author in exchange for an honest review.
December 7, 2013
Are you Happy? Do you think your Happy? I thought this and I know some times I feel happy and other times I feel down. I am more than half way through with this book and I am taking the authors advice and going to come back to it regularly. You can sit there and read it all at once or do as I am doing. I was a little hesitant about reading Happiness as a Second Language. I mean who wants to read a book about how to make yourself happy? Like I said when I ask myself am I happy I will reply with a yes. If my husband asks am I happy I will say yes as well. But knowing deep down I am not. I find the exercises helpful in achieving that happiness that I would like. I lost a brother to suicide and my husband failed at it 2 times. Yes 2, you read that right. Knowing that he isn't happy makes me not happy as well. I wonder what I can do to help me be happy. What made him want to take his own life. He will say he is happy at times but not in other times. I liked the part about writing down happy thought 1-5 and how her friend kept them in different places and how #5 was always in bed LOL! I am eager to read at least a chapter a day and see what else I can do to achieve being happy or at least some more tools to help me along the way. Who doesn't want to be happy?
4-stars
Reviewed by Irene
4-stars
Reviewed by Irene
November 4, 2013
The author narrates this book. She does a very good job with her performance and her pacing is excellent. Valerie’s sincere tone reflects the fact that she speaks as someone who has had to overcome unhappiness in her own life.
Happiness As A Second Language is for people who need a practical and engaging strategy for learning to be happy in such a way that the everyday challenges of life do not steal away that happiness. The idea of approaching happiness as if learning a language is so easy to understand and to apply.
Read my extensive review of this book at Just Audiobook Reviews.
Happiness As A Second Language is for people who need a practical and engaging strategy for learning to be happy in such a way that the everyday challenges of life do not steal away that happiness. The idea of approaching happiness as if learning a language is so easy to understand and to apply.
Read my extensive review of this book at Just Audiobook Reviews.
November 4, 2013
I listened to the audiobook, read by the author, so the book felt like a series of consultations/counseling sessions from someone whose life sounded so similar to my own. The concept of this self-help book, which was gifted to me, is this: If you grew up in an unhappy home or are surrounded by unhappy people, then happiness is not your native language. And, like learning a new language, the exercises are easy in concept but more difficult in execution. I will say that I have adopted some of her recommendations already and to great effect.
February 24, 2014
I won this book from Goodreads..............Good advice, very uplifting and inspiring......like it is said in the book, it is not one you sit and read in a day or two if you want to get the most out of it.
March 12, 2019
Amazing book! Teaches us how to stay happy in different situations and how to live a happy fulfilling life! Loved it, I want to purchase it! Examples are fantastic, and just a great read!
February 9, 2023
"Happiness as a Second Language: A Guidebook to Achieving Lasting Permanent" by Valerie Alexander is a comprehensive guide to finding happiness and fulfillment in life. The book is based on the idea that happiness is a skill that can be learned and practiced, much like a second language.
The author, Valerie Alexander, is a renowned speaker and coach who has spent years researching the science of happiness and the habits of happy people. In "Happiness as a Second Language," she shares her findings and provides practical exercises and strategies for achieving lasting happiness.
One of the strengths of the book is its focus on the practicality of happiness. Alexander breaks down the concept of happiness into its various components and provides concrete steps for cultivating each of them in your own life. This approach makes it easy for the reader to understand and apply the concepts in the book to their own lives.
Another great aspect of the book is its inclusive approach. Alexander recognizes that happiness looks different for everyone and provides strategies that are tailored to individual needs and circumstances. Whether you are looking for ways to improve your relationship with others, find meaning and purpose in your work, or simply cultivate a positive outlook on life, this book has something for everyone.
The writing style of "Happiness as a Second Language" is engaging and easy to read. Alexander has a warm and relatable tone that makes the reader feel like they are being guided by a trusted friend. Additionally, the book is well-researched and draws from a wide range of sources, including psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, to support its arguments.
In conclusion, "Happiness as a Second Language" is a must-read for anyone who is seeking happiness and fulfillment in life. The book provides a comprehensive and practical guide to cultivating happiness and is written in a way that is accessible and enjoyable to read. Whether you're looking to improve your relationships, find purpose in your work, or simply cultivate a positive outlook on life, this book has something to offer.
The author, Valerie Alexander, is a renowned speaker and coach who has spent years researching the science of happiness and the habits of happy people. In "Happiness as a Second Language," she shares her findings and provides practical exercises and strategies for achieving lasting happiness.
One of the strengths of the book is its focus on the practicality of happiness. Alexander breaks down the concept of happiness into its various components and provides concrete steps for cultivating each of them in your own life. This approach makes it easy for the reader to understand and apply the concepts in the book to their own lives.
Another great aspect of the book is its inclusive approach. Alexander recognizes that happiness looks different for everyone and provides strategies that are tailored to individual needs and circumstances. Whether you are looking for ways to improve your relationship with others, find meaning and purpose in your work, or simply cultivate a positive outlook on life, this book has something for everyone.
The writing style of "Happiness as a Second Language" is engaging and easy to read. Alexander has a warm and relatable tone that makes the reader feel like they are being guided by a trusted friend. Additionally, the book is well-researched and draws from a wide range of sources, including psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, to support its arguments.
In conclusion, "Happiness as a Second Language" is a must-read for anyone who is seeking happiness and fulfillment in life. The book provides a comprehensive and practical guide to cultivating happiness and is written in a way that is accessible and enjoyable to read. Whether you're looking to improve your relationships, find purpose in your work, or simply cultivate a positive outlook on life, this book has something to offer.
July 30, 2021
I listened to the audiobook "Happiness as a Second Language: A Guidebook to Achieving Lasting Permanent Happiness" by Valerie Alexander and… Wow! I have read several self-help books, and I usually gain a tip or two from them, put them down and never pick them back up. Not this one! Halfway through the audiobook, I went on Amazon and ordered the paperback to highlight and bookmark important passages that I want to return to and re-read in trying times. Valerie presented learning happiness as learning to speak a second language, and, I think, she couldn't be more correct. Describing 'speaking happiness' in terms of nouns, verbs, adverbs, past and future tense, etc., was extremely effective for illustrating how to relate to and comprehend the suggestions and techniques for achieving lifelong happiness that Valerie is teaching. I would HIGHLY recommend this book for everyone; even if you think you are a happy person, I think you could gain some knowledge here… we all have room for improvement. Get the book, grab a highlighter and a notebook and get ready to learn to speak one of the most important languages in the world. Seriously, go get it!!!
June 10, 2024
Has some valid and even helpful points. More often, however, it gets bogged down in the language metaphor, which can muddy the waters of many of the concepts and techniques explored by the author.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews