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The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human
The lowdown on the toughest, sexiest, and beardiest man to ever stalk the earth Since its emergence from the bowels of the internet, the Chuck Norris Fact has roundhouse kicked its way into the world's consciousness with all the vim and verve of its namesake. Singing the praises of his unequaled toughness, his mighty kicking feet, his indestructible beard, his frightening virility, and his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, The Truth About Chuck Norris is the one book brave enough to go behind the beard and reveal the real Chuck. Ian Spector, webmaster of the site which started the meme and survivor of a real-life encounter with Chuck himself, has selected the 400 most kick-ass facts from his library of thousands, as well as illustrations as awesome as the man himself. This death-defying volume includes such awe-inspiring observations A cobra once bit Chuck Norris's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard. When an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur. Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands. Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris's house is a Total Gym. A must-have paean to the archetypical American male and a bible of all things Chuck, The Truth About Chuck Norris is easily the most important book of all time. AN UNAUTHORIZED PARODY
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
12 people are currently reading
257 people want to read
About the author
Ian Spector
13 books10 followersComputational biology major at Brown University and creator of the Chuck Norris fact fact generator.
He also made fact generators about other celebritues.
He also made fact generators about other celebritues.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
December 5, 2011
Opening line: " When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger aired in France, the French surrendered just to be on the safe side."
THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS is a hilarious collection of over 400 "facts" about the phenomenon know as Chuck Norris. (World's greatest human) I was in tears from laughing so hard while reading this although I'm still at a loss in how to explain why it's so funny? I can however tell you that if you Google Chuck Norris jokes you will get well over a million hits and that my 65 year old mother and police officer brother also found it highly amusing. So it seems the silliness appeals to all.
In this parody we get to learn all about Chuck Norris's amazing strength, his indestructible beard, his frightening sexual virility, the power of his fist, his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, the strength of his roundhouse kicks and much, much more. There are 400 "facts" inside and several cool, illustrated pictures.
Since my initiation into Chuck Norris's amazing world I have purchased 3 more copies of this book for family and friends and would recommend it to just about anyone plus it makes for a great piece of bathroom literature.
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris does not leave messages he leaves warnings.
-When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken.
-Sometimes the setting sun will linger just a few minutes on the horizon to get one last look at Chuck Norris.
-Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris Pyjamas.
-The movie Rambo was inspired by Chuck Norris's time as a boy scout.
And if you don't buy this book right now and laugh Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you back in time so you can indeed purchase THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS.
THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS is a hilarious collection of over 400 "facts" about the phenomenon know as Chuck Norris. (World's greatest human) I was in tears from laughing so hard while reading this although I'm still at a loss in how to explain why it's so funny? I can however tell you that if you Google Chuck Norris jokes you will get well over a million hits and that my 65 year old mother and police officer brother also found it highly amusing. So it seems the silliness appeals to all.
In this parody we get to learn all about Chuck Norris's amazing strength, his indestructible beard, his frightening sexual virility, the power of his fist, his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, the strength of his roundhouse kicks and much, much more. There are 400 "facts" inside and several cool, illustrated pictures.
Since my initiation into Chuck Norris's amazing world I have purchased 3 more copies of this book for family and friends and would recommend it to just about anyone plus it makes for a great piece of bathroom literature.
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris does not leave messages he leaves warnings.
-When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken.
-Sometimes the setting sun will linger just a few minutes on the horizon to get one last look at Chuck Norris.
-Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris Pyjamas.
-The movie Rambo was inspired by Chuck Norris's time as a boy scout.
And if you don't buy this book right now and laugh Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you back in time so you can indeed purchase THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS.
December 4, 2008
As I was reading this at lunch, I hit this one: "Chuck Norris likes his women how he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and all mixed up with coke." Read that one out loud to the coworker T. and the two of us sort of gaped at each other in sheer "wow, they did that, huh?"
There are some duds in here, but I'd say 75-80% made me at least smile/chuckle.
There are some duds in here, but I'd say 75-80% made me at least smile/chuckle.
November 15, 2009
This book is a book full of facts about Chuck Norris. It describes what it is like to be him. the book is a fun fictional biography of Chuck Norris.
This book said that he occasionally called the power rangers to say hi. This connects to when I was little and I used to watch Power Rangers. It made remember all about that show. It is probably true because Chuck Norris is almost a super hero like the Power Rangers. This is a Text to self connection because it connects from the book to me.
I would recommend this book to Chuck Norris fans. Also if you like humor this is a good book for that. I gave it four stars because I thought it was hilarious. Every page was a pleasant surprise.
This book said that he occasionally called the power rangers to say hi. This connects to when I was little and I used to watch Power Rangers. It made remember all about that show. It is probably true because Chuck Norris is almost a super hero like the Power Rangers. This is a Text to self connection because it connects from the book to me.
I would recommend this book to Chuck Norris fans. Also if you like humor this is a good book for that. I gave it four stars because I thought it was hilarious. Every page was a pleasant surprise.
August 15, 2008
I heard my first Chuck Norris joke a couple of years ago when Chuck Norris jokes became all the rage on WoW. They are inexplicably hilarious and somehow never get old. You can find hundreds of these “facts” on the internet and a small collection are presented here in this book. Contrary to popular belief, paper was not wasted, nor did any tree die in the making of this book. The pages are actually made from Chuck Norris’s dandruff and the words assembled themselves out of fear.
one of my favorites:
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
one of my favorites:
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
April 25, 2020
This book of “factual” parodies is exactly what you need to read right now. It’s humorous satire is dopey at times but I am 47 & grew up watching Chuck Norris. I laughed from beginning to end & will probably read this 10 more times.
May 12, 2010
LOVED THIS BOOK!!! I about pee'd myself when i saw it on the bookstore shelf, picked it up, flipped to a random page and laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. I LOVE Chuck Norris and my brothers and I are always coming up with our own amusing facts about Chuck... but this book brought not only my brothers and I together but also my father and my nephews.. who all love Chuck Norris..... My baby brothers favorite.... Chuck Norris can count to infinity.... Twice. lol... great fun quick coffee table read. 2 Thumbs WAY UP!!!!
July 10, 2013
No single wimpy paperback can possibly do justice to the awesomeness of Chuck Norris. Also, too many sex and penis jokes - was this written for and by pre-adolescents? My time would have been much better spent watching Walker, Texas Ranger reruns or working out on my Total Gym.
June 4, 2017
“The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human” by Ian Spector, Angelo Vildasol (Illustrations)
MORE offensive and macho jokes
“Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.”
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore but the granite was not tough enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.
He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it's definitely his last laugh. (In his book, The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book, Norris added under this fact: "Now that's funny. I love to laugh, as do most people." Most people are still unsure if he was joking.)
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris's age is to cut him in half and count the rings. (Norris commented: "Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline interview, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a smile, 'I like to say I'm 39, with 27 years of experience.'")
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe air. He holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.
If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.
- - -
MORE offensive and macho jokes
“Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.”
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore but the granite was not tough enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.
He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it's definitely his last laugh. (In his book, The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book, Norris added under this fact: "Now that's funny. I love to laugh, as do most people." Most people are still unsure if he was joking.)
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris's age is to cut him in half and count the rings. (Norris commented: "Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline interview, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a smile, 'I like to say I'm 39, with 27 years of experience.'")
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe air. He holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.
If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.
- - -
July 20, 2020
I'm typing this from an undisclosed location. I took a risk and only gave this 3 stars as opposed to 5 and based on everything Chuck Norris, odds are ninjas are now outside to be followed up by Chuck before my imminent death. No one insults the Norris. I was amused by so many "facts" in this book but there were definitely some duds for sure. I blame that on the author for choosing them when there were much better options out there. I would never blame Chuck <--- kissing ass so he'll let me live. I read this in one sitting and some made me laugh, some I just Chuckled over and some were just outright stupid. The illustrations throughout were pretty cool though. If you love campy humor then it makes for an amusing moment of reading. Compared to everything else this year it was a nice moment of humor. Speaking of... why the hell isn't Norris fixing 2020? We all know with the power of his beard he is capable? And there I go again... giving him more reasons to take me out. My bad. When you look back and see only one set of footprints, that's when Chuck Norris was carrying you.
March 26, 2020
I started to give this book a four star rating. Then Chuck Norris called.
Chuck Norris read this book. Then he called the author and asked when chapter 2 would be finished.
Someone asked me what I thought of the book. I said it was ok. Chuck Norris is now looking for me.
Chuck Norris read this book. Then he called the author and asked when chapter 2 would be finished.
Someone asked me what I thought of the book. I said it was ok. Chuck Norris is now looking for me.
March 29, 2020
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. When he left they were just called the Islands.
Chuck Norris once got bitten by a rattle snake. After three days of excruciating pain the rattle snake died................
This book is hilarious!!
Chuck Norris once got bitten by a rattle snake. After three days of excruciating pain the rattle snake died................
This book is hilarious!!
August 28, 2018
Crude, crass, and ridiculous, with just a twist of wit, this compilation of Chuck Norris facts is good for a quick read, a quick chuckle, and not much else.
December 27, 2018
Hilarious!
December 28, 2018
Over the top and hilarious!
October 19, 2019
The dud ones overwhelm some of the good ones. I liked all the Total Gym ones...
January 19, 2020
The worst book I have ever read. A huge waste of paper.
January 14, 2021
This dude's hilarious. Highly recommend.
May 14, 2022
Funny as heck! I've read thru this book a few times, including the day I picked up a hard copy in Borders . I usually laugh so hard my eyes water and my stomach hurts from laughing!
May 25, 2022
A timeless classic
November 1, 2023
You don't review Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris reviews you.
September 20, 2024
You can never go wrong with a good Chuck Norris joke.
January 9, 2017
Very funny if you like a good Chuck Norris joke. Keep in mind, it is completely ridiculous. But it is very funny.
August 29, 2016
Why did I buy this immature puerile little book about ridiculous jokes concerning Chuck Norris? Not sure. Maybe it has something to do with my love/hate relationship with this guy.
The result? Well let's just say I did not realize I have an adolescent boy deep in my brain that still laughs at penis and poop jokes. I guffawed so hard at times I scared the cat! I'm just glad I did not read this on the train because I would have made a fool of myself.
Some sayings range from merely silly to really clever, whether or not they are scatological. I will leave you with one gem, guaranteed to insult: While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella, causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France. (pg.44)
The result? Well let's just say I did not realize I have an adolescent boy deep in my brain that still laughs at penis and poop jokes. I guffawed so hard at times I scared the cat! I'm just glad I did not read this on the train because I would have made a fool of myself.
Some sayings range from merely silly to really clever, whether or not they are scatological. I will leave you with one gem, guaranteed to insult: While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella, causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France. (pg.44)
June 11, 2010
The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human (Paperback) by Ian Spector is all about Chuck Norris. It has almost every Chuck Norris fact none to man. His main internal conflict is that he's Chuck Norris. His main external conflict is that he's Chuck Norris.
while reading this book i made a text-to-self connection. based on how i make Chuck Norris jokes a lot. Also how my dad has an awsome beard just like chuck.
i would give this book 5 out of 5 stars (out of fear of Chuck Norris round house kicking me if i put any thing lower). this is the best thing every. i would recomend this book to people worthy enough of the book.
while reading this book i made a text-to-self connection. based on how i make Chuck Norris jokes a lot. Also how my dad has an awsome beard just like chuck.
i would give this book 5 out of 5 stars (out of fear of Chuck Norris round house kicking me if i put any thing lower). this is the best thing every. i would recomend this book to people worthy enough of the book.
June 17, 2008
"hilarity, chuck norris style"
i had heard about the thousands of "facts" of chuck norris a couple of years ago, and had heard a couple, but many of the ones in this book are ridiculously funny. not really into the overly sexual ones, but for some reason, the ones that refer to the roundhouse kick (and there are plenty) make me crack up. it does get a bit similar by the end and it is similar to family guy in its randomness, but whenever you need a good laugh, just open it up to a random page, and the laughter will ensue (probably).
i had heard about the thousands of "facts" of chuck norris a couple of years ago, and had heard a couple, but many of the ones in this book are ridiculously funny. not really into the overly sexual ones, but for some reason, the ones that refer to the roundhouse kick (and there are plenty) make me crack up. it does get a bit similar by the end and it is similar to family guy in its randomness, but whenever you need a good laugh, just open it up to a random page, and the laughter will ensue (probably).
February 25, 2012
From The Barrens to general chat in the Undercity, Chuck Norris was quite a popular character in the good old days when I used to play World of Warcraft. Now I barely hear the name, at time I might see it on a meme site but that’s about it.
While looking for more books to read in a cheap book store I found this little piece in a set called "The Good, The Bad, And The Deadly".
Now, I'm not a fan of Chuck Norris in any way (Van Damme ftw) but reading these jokes you really don't have to be. Weather it be about his beard or cock it still manages to get a laugh.
It's good fun for short while.
While looking for more books to read in a cheap book store I found this little piece in a set called "The Good, The Bad, And The Deadly".
Now, I'm not a fan of Chuck Norris in any way (Van Damme ftw) but reading these jokes you really don't have to be. Weather it be about his beard or cock it still manages to get a laugh.
It's good fun for short while.
May 9, 2016
This book is mind-numbing, inappropriate, completely unrealistic, and I loved it. This book is great for a young teenage boy who has nothing better to do, because when you read this your imagination goes off the charts. You learn all sorts of fascinating facts that literally blow your mind. Once I finished this book I read it 5 more times, if you're a parent and you need your kid to read, then this is this the book for you. You might have to explain a few things to the kid when you give them "the talk", but that's just a added bonus.
December 31, 2008
One of the most hilarious books I own, Ian Spector's book is wonderful in its simplicity. Instead of reinventing the Chuck Norris joke (which he invented to being with), he simply takes the creme-de-la-creme of this genre and throws in a few personal favorites. Based on a relatively short-lived cultural phenomenon, The Truth About Chuck Norris is perfect for a chuckle when you're desperately inclined otherwise.
November 13, 2012
There are some pretty funny parodies out there, and I have enjoyed a bunch on the internet. This had a few, but the majority were juvenile, crass, and unnecessarily sexual and crude in nature. I had higher expectations than this delivered. It was more disappointing, than entertaining. I'm very glad I didn't pay but a fraction of cover price, or I would have been upset with the content and lack of return on investment.
May 13, 2008
OK I know this may sound like a silly book and definatly somthing you would expect to see on a guys list of books but it is absouloutly totally FREAKIN hilarious I think everyone should just own a copy so that when they are fealing down they can be "inspired" by the words and deeds of Chuck Norris :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews