A Not So Model Home

Amanda Thorne Mysteries #2

by David James

Open House for Murder

The real estate market is tanking, even in posh Palm Springs. So when Ian Forbes, the eccentric head of an international hair care empire, offers luxury realtor Amanda Thorne a chance to list his palatial Spanish style pad, she reluctantly agrees--even if it means appearing on the bizarre reality dating show he's starring in.

With so much at stake, a throng of attractive contestants descend on the mansion in hopes of winning Ian's heart--and his fortune. The competition is fast and fierce, and it's almost no surprise when two of Ian's prospective lovers turn up dead. Amanda quickly discovers that everyone has a conceivable motive for murder. And now that there are two more realtors competing with her for the lucrative listing, it seems the killer won't be the only one who's out for blood. . .

"The fun part of this mystery is James' snarky, sneaky sense of humor that keeps his lively cast of characters believable." -- Mystery Scene

"Once again, James charms." -- Kirkus Reviews

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, LGBT

256 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Mildly celebrated author, David James divides his time between L.A. and Palm Springs handling sales of mid-century and modern homes by day, while working on spec TV scripts at night. He is extremely accomplished at folding fitted sheets.

aka David Stukas

Reviews

[❂ Murder by Death · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure what to think of this book. It's formula fits the cozy bill: amateur sleuth finds herself surrounded by murder and mayhem and stumbles across clues to solve the murder. Witty dialogue and comedy abound. Light romance throughout the story. BUT, the male author seems to see it as a goal to include as much vulgarity and sexual references as possible in 229 pages. Now I'm not at all adverse to vulgarity, but it just doesn't feel like it fits here - it feels like the author is going for shock value and little else. The plot line itself does lend itself to the variety of sexually oriented conversations throughout the book, but those conversations felt exaggerated and over-the-top, and it just comes off silly - like a teenage boy has written it and wants to pack as many "shocking" words as possible into the dialogue. It's too bad, because there's a lot of great humour to be found as well.

Another oddity that screamed at me throughout this book and his first one in the series, Thee Bedrooms, Two Baths, One Very Dead Corpse: The author has the characters constantly repeating the names of the person they're talking to. For example in one conversation with her neighbour, Regina, she says Regina's name 7 times. As in "Regina, it was one slap. One." ... "Regina, I don't know any of the people who sent these flowers."..."They were all gay. Or at least two of them were, Regina." This conversation only goes on for about a page and a half. People don't talk like that, it's weird and annoying.

The mystery in the book was cleverly done, lots of suspects, lots of opportunities and a bit of a surprise twist at the end. The story kept me guessing all the way to the end. Amanda Thorne is a likeable character and she is surrounded by a lot more likeable characters. The author just needs to decide what type of book he's trying to write and to what purpose. I'm not sorry I read the book - there is a lot to enjoy, but I'll check out the next book more closely before buying it/reading it to see if the author shows any signs of growing up.

[Gabrielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.7 ⭐️ Fun and light murder mystery beach read! Definitely a lot of tongue in cheek dialogue LOL. The reveal was not shocking but still enjoyed the ride!

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a not-so-cozy mystery. In the genre of coziness, it was quite over the top. Lots of talk about sex, both straight and gay. I think the part I liked the least was the generalization of gay men. Although there was a plethora of non-straight models in this reality show, they all seemed to be painted with the same brush. All her eccentric, all models of some sort and all bitchy as hell. I have to admit, I’m not a prude while reading but some of the talk in this book DID make me queasy as it was raunchy and a bit over the top. But I loved the premise very much.

[Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oof. Where do I start with this one? I picked up this book for less than $2 at my local secondhand shop expecting an easy, fun mystery to read on my vacation. A Not So Model Home follows realtor Amanda Thorne as she becomes a side character on a reality dating TV show that somehow turns into a murder mystery. Amanda is supposed to sell the house that the show takes place in while the contestants vie for the heart of the dying millionaire who lives there. After reading the inside flap, one of my friends said, “it’s like The Bachelorette meets Million Dollar Listing meets Agatha Christie” and that pretty much summed up why I wanted to read the book. But man oh man it did not live up to my expectations in the slightest.

First, the most positive comment I could think of: I really liked the fun chapter titles!

Now, on to all my other thoughts. After just a couple chapters, I felt the need to look up the author to see if he is actually a gay man because most of the characters felt like stereotypes or offensive caricatures. From what I could tell, David James is actually gay, so that made me feel a bit better, but I still did not enjoy or connect with the characters because of how stereotypical they felt. Another thing that made me uncomfortable was how Amanda (who is a straight woman) was constantly talking about how she was obsessed with surrounding herself with gay men. It really rubbed me the wrong way, especially when she talked about how she didn’t necessarily believe women experience oppression and that she seemed not to believe people could be bisexual. In addition to the weird, hard to connect with characters, the dialogue was RIDICULOUS! It was either flat and read like stage directions or it was over the top and packed in as much vulgar language as possible (I probably sound like a prude, but it really felt juvenile the way it was all packed in there). The characters constantly say each other’s names when they’re talking and overall just speak in a way that is completely alien to normal human conversation.

As for the storyline, while I knew it was supposed to be a “cozy mystery” and not a fast-paced thriller, the murder mystery seemed to take a back seat to graphic descriptions of sex and strange musings about gay ex-husbands. (Also, a major plot point was that Amanda was supposed to sell the house as a twist on the TV show … but that never even happened!! It never came up again after the initial discussion!!)

All in all, I didn’t have high expectations for this book, but it managed to still fall miserably low. I was looking for a cozy mystery with a little reality TV drama, but instead I got a vulgar description of a dating show with ridiculous dialogue and a hint of mystery on the side.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a top notch cozy mystery! A Not So Model Home by David James has a plot like none other! This funny story takes place in Palm Springs where Amanda and her ex-husband/business partner/soul mate/gay man--Alex are in real estate. Ian Forbes is the head of a huge hair-care and salon empire and Amanda's former client. Ian now has inoperable pancreatic cancer and will soon be staring in a reality show about finding him an heir and a boyfriend. Amanda gets invited to be on the show where her role is to be a good friend of Ian's and then eventually put his house on the market. What is different about this book is that a suspicious murder doesn't take place immediately like in most cozies. Instead there is time to get to know the male contestants and the other characters. This book does a good job of poking fun at reality shows! I really liked the way Amanda summed up everything at the end of the book. Everything really fell into place. Now that I have discovered this series, I look forward to reading other installments!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Realtor Amanda is finding it hard to keep things going as the economy tanks, so she reluctantly accepts an offer from one of her former clients to appear in a reality show. Her role is as the client's best friend, which she's not in real life, and a "fag hag," which is closer to reality. A number of the client's former lovers are competing to be his new boyfriend and inherit his estate when he dies, as he will shortly. But some of the contestants start dying sooner. I still don't think James writes a convincing female narrator, but this is more enjoyable than the first of this series.

[Janicecm · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoyed the first in the series, especially the relationship between Amanda and Alex. Waited 2 months for this one to arrive at local library. Very disappointed. Could have had more plot, less sex. Will not be reading any more of this series.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my usual cup of tea --.very sexually explicit content -- but I found it amusing.

[Dawn Frazier · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really liked the first book in this series..this one, not so much. the language and subject matter were just a bit too much. Too vulgar.

[Ronald Johnson Jr MBA · Rating 2 out of 5]

David James’ (pseudonym of David Stukas) second murder mystery, “A Not So Model Home,” featuring Palm Springs, California established real estate agent, Amanda Thorne, provides his readers with more sexual deviant characters than his first 2010 Amanda Thorne Mystery, “Three Bedrooms, Two Baths, One Very Dead Corpse.” James’ attempt to be humorous in this murder mystery is a guarantee to offend many of his readers; especially those who identify themselves within the LGBT communities. “A Not So Model Home” is narrated by James’ lead series character, Amanda Thorne; who was once a successful real estate agent and is based in the Palm Springs, California community. Now, since the unforeseen real estate recession, Thorne has fallen on hard times barely unable to sell the real estate listings she already has, dealing with clients hopeful of her selling their homes for way more than they are actually worth, and obtaining potential clients who have homes that will actually sell.

Amanda unexpectedly falls into a dream opportunity that will in no doubt solve all of her financial problems when she is approached with an offer to sell a mansion in Palm Springs that is owned by Ian Forbes, a mega millionaire who is the owner of a famous hair care product line empire. However, she soon learns that the prospect of selling the mansion comes with caveats. Thorne soon learns that Ian is dying of cancer and that in order for her to list his mansion she will have to appear as a cast member of a new and unprecedented reality show called It’s A Bit Iffy. The reality show will air on a major network and will be a series documenting Ian’s choice for a life partner for the remainder of his; life based upon a number of his previous and current gay lovers. Not only will the winning male contestant be Ian’s partner until his final demise but the winning contestant will also become the heir of a portion of Ian’s vast fortune. Part of Amanda’s gain in being in the reality show series is not only a financial gain but she gets to sell Ian’s mansion after the series airs.

Thorne hesitantly accepts the invitation to be a cast member on the show, serving in each one of the series as Ian’s best friend or in other terms noted by James, fag-hag. James introduces each of Ian’s past and present male lovers with ultra-self-egos who all hold nothing back from one another when it comes to insults and sexual perversions. During Amanda’s partaking and the filing of the reality show series, two of the male contestants are murdered at Ian’s estate. With the help of her boyfriend’s co-worker, an investigator for the Palm Springs Police Department, and with her investigative intuition, Amanda hurriedly solves both murders.

James’ “A Not So Model Home,” may at its best be a casual read for a causal weekend with nothing else to read. However, those readers who do not put the book down after immediately navigating within its first chapters of offensive stereotypes aimed towards LGBT communities will be less likely hoping for the next release of another Amanda Thorne mystery. Further, at the time of writing this review, “A Not So Model Home” appears to be the last book written by David Stukas, including his pseudonym David James.

[Genevieve Paquette]

"What kind of book IS this?" exclaimed my mother as I returned to the car. I'd picked it up from the bargain bin at Giant Tiger so she'd have something to read while waiting. It looked like a safe bet, a short, cozy mystery with a real estate theme. Turns out...
"Penises! Penises everywhere! And rectums!"
I blanche. "You mean mutilations?" I ask.
No. Just a whole lot of dick. She goes on to explain some of the new sex vocabulary she was exposed to, and I almost pass out. I didn't know whether to die of embarrassment or to laugh. I did both.
Full disclosure, I didn't read it. I have no desire to read it. I would only suggest this to those who really love, well, penis, or to those wishing to scandalized their geriatric mothers.

[James Garman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second Amanda Thorne mystery that I have read and enjoyed. Like the other one, it is one setting read, very amusing and fast-paced.

Amanda gets invited to be on a TV show with a celebrity hairstylist named Ian, who wants to pick his next boyfriend that will end up getting a sizable portion of his estate. Things start out like most "reality shows" with plenty of drama, manufactured and otherwise. However, 2 people end up dead.

Will Amanda survive? Will Amanda solve the case? Will Amanda lose herself to the fandom?

Amanda learns a bit about herself and how tempting acting can be, when told to "ham it up".

[Maureen · Rating 2 out of 5]

So much to say. Glad that I chose this as a vacation read when I opt for light reading.
The blurb does not match up with the book. Was it written before the book, before the book was edited?
The author seemed obsessed with sex, not the gay sex but the sex life of the female protagonist who was not a very likeable character although we were supposed to believe that she had changed by the end of the book. But, have pity, times were hard for realtors and she had all that rental property, in case you missed it being mentioned at every opportunity.
The killer was obvious and the denouement ridiculous.
The one thing in its favor was being just over 200 pages so it was done with quickly.

[AnnMarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was ok had to look up a lot of words l I didn’t understand, learned a lot from it especially about the gays l never knew .
Very interesting on those facts

[Kimberlee · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://girllostinabook.blogspot.com/2...

[Randy Raetz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read, zaniness. Definitely not heavy fiction.

[Samantha Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is my favorite train wreck. No notes.

[Josee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic 2nd book in a series. I wish he wrote more because I loved the series.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cozy mystery? Yes. Good plot? No. I just couldn't get into it. It was the only book I took with me on vacation, though, so I stuck it out. It doesn't get better, so if you don't like it in the first chapter or two, go ahead and write it off.

[Janine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting...that's all I'm going to say.

[Debra Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very different from the average cottage mystery. Don't read if you are offended by aberrant sexual behavior.

[Gretchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second in the series. Still clever quips. Some of the sex stuff was over the top. I'll read the third one when it comes out, though.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious!

[Jo Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't care of this book so I did not finish it

[Vicky · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ridiculous. This is the worst book I have read in ages. Please remind me NEVER to purchase another Amanda Thorne by David james.

[Traci Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

funny book

[Sabine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed it but didn't like that the murders don't happen until half way through the book...

[Sallee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This takes place in Palm Springs where Real Estate broker, Amanda Thorne is talked into appearing on a reality show for television. Almost tongue in cheek, this story will have you laughing at the stereotypes come to life.