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Josh of the Damned #4

Josh of the Damned Triple Feature #2: The Final Checkout

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Josh Caplan thought he’d solved his home office problem and stopped the Quik-Mart Corporation from expanding into hell, but it turns out a guardian’s work is never done. Medusa has plans for him, and she’s not the only one.

What's a poor night clerk to do when he’s besieged on all sides by deluded vampire slayers, angry zombies, crazy gods, and the most terrifying enemy of a dickish CEO?

To survive this, Josh will have to do more than just rely on his necromancer boss, his hot vampire boyfriend, and his yeti stalker. This time, he’ll have to find his own inner hero to save the day.

100 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 27, 2013

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About the author

Andrea Speed

77 books510 followers
Super nerd. Former EIC at Cx Pulp. I've won Rainbow Awards, and still can't believe it. A small medicinal horse. The Meryl Streep of stunt corpses. Enby.

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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for LiveYourLife BuyTheBook.
616 reviews58 followers
April 25, 2013
4.5 Stars - on the series as a whole

After saving the World from imminent destruction because of rampant corporate greed, Josh makes his way back to work at the Quick-Mart at the start of The Final Checkout. I suspect this is the last of the Josh of the Damned series, by Andrea Speed, given the use of the word final in the title. I hope I’m wrong.

Clerk of the Living Dead …

Josh expects to be fired for preventing Quick-Mart from starting a store in Dev. Instead, he starts his shift as usual. He then gets conscripted by Medusa. It’s not all bad; he gets a cool wrist cuff out of it. Once again, back to the daily grind. While Mr. Kwon is at the Quick-Mart a customer comes in dressed for battle. He’s Kevin, the Vampire Slayer. While Josh and Mr. Kwon attempt to convince Kevin, the Vampire Slayer, that such creatures aren’t real the Quick-Mart gets attacked by a horde of zombies. The Quick-Mart corporate office will have its revenge after all. Why fire a slacker when you can sic a zombie horde on him? Josh then experiences the awesomeness of the wrist cuff.

Mr. Kwon absolutely cracked me up in this installment. His reluctance to admit to his family just how bad he is at necromancy coupled with his comments to Kevin had me laughing out loud. The overall plot of the series was also well advanced with the revenge of the corporate office, Josh and Colin dealing with their relationship, and Medusa’s conscription of Josh for her purposes. All these things were either critical to wrap up previous events or set into motion future events.

Plaything of the Gods! …

Josh missed the bus and asks his roommate Doug for a ride to work. They can’t make it all the way to the Quick-Mart as the way is being blocked by a giant slug. It has left a rather impressive slime trail. Josh and Doug make it inside to find Mr. Kwon annoyed by the giant slug. Colin shows up and needs Josh for an urgent job per Medusa’s orders. Medusa’s sisters, Sthenno and Euryale, have gotten a bit out of hand. The family has achieved impressive levels of dysfunctionality. There are reasons to believe a lot of the odd creatures coming from the portal are being sent by the sisters. Josh and Colin go in to shut them down! While on the job they realize they have a lot of questions they’ll never get answered. Gods don’t answer the questions of their troops.

As Josh is the hero of this chanson de geste it’s a fair statement Doug’s car is the equivalent of Josh’s noble steed. Doug is a pizza delivery guy and stoner. Of course his car is a POS. It’s adorned with a Jesus/Hula dancer doll Doug made himself. It’s “magically sacrilicious.” In this installment it’s made clear that Josh’s hero status is thrust upon him by fate and Medusa. He’s really not special, he’s just a guy who happens to be a Guardian. Medusa has uses for him.

Josh vs. Destiny …

Josh and Colin plan a romantic weekend together. The first thing to go wrong was Doug not leaving for the weekend. The second thing was the phone call from Mr. Kwon who calls Josh in on his day off to talk to his boss.Nothing good could come of that. Colin is suspicious. He’s also uncomfortable being away from Dev for so long. There is no way he and Josh would be able to spend much time together on Earth. Clark Ryan IV, the CEO of Quick-Mart is a real jerk. He’s also being manipulated by a mangoat. Harvey Mangoat, to be specific. Too bad for Harvey he was being manipulated by Sthenno and Euryale. Oh snap! Josh and Colin give Clark Ryan IV the scare of a lifetime with the help of Bobo the Yeti and the citizens of Dev. Really, Bobo was probably the scariest thing. Josh then gets a fantastic gift from Medusa for his services as Guardian of the Quick-Mart.

Much as Josh is our slacker hero, he seems to come up against some slacker villains in this installment. Harvey Mangoat is a Baphomet wannabe. His great evil is believing in the wrong people and manipulating a ludicrously stupid man. The loose ends of the angry corporate office trying to kill Josh are tied up, and Josh and Colin are able to have a relationship that is more than just sex in the stockroom on Josh’s lunch break. All is well at the Quick-Mart.

For all of Whit's and Faye's reviews of the series see Live Your Life, Buy The Book
Profile Image for Lady*M.
1,069 reviews107 followers
May 1, 2013
Almost, but not quite 3 stars

Andrea Speed is one of the authors whose imagination and writing I truly appreciate. From The Little Death which made me read all of her other books to the Infested series, her stories made me laugh, cry and pretty much everything in between. Her sense of humor was always a big plus. Which is why I've come to expect certain things from Ms Speed's stories – well developed characters, interesting plot, clear direction of the story, etc. Perhaps these expectations aren't completely fair to the authors, but I don't think I am alone in this.

I'm telling you all of this because Josh of the Damned series made a lot of promises in the beginning and not all of them were delivered, at least not to the complete satisfaction of this reader. What the series does deliver in spades is supernatural romp. The three new stories – Clerk of the Living Dead, Plaything of the Gods! and Josh vs. Destiny – were no different from the rest of the series. I dare you not to laugh at Kevin the Vampire Slayer or giant slug whose slime trail is compared to “an unholy bastard child of Astroglide and Super Glue”. After receiving Medusa's magic bracelet and witnessing its power, Josh muses:

He was like Wonder Woman, only with one bracelet and without the great rack.


The stories didn't lack the humor or general silliness that became a trademark of the series. However, the characters, especially of our protagonist Josh, and his vampire boyfriend Colin are pretty much unchanged. Josh is his old laid-back and sarcastic self, maybe a bit more daring now that he has Medusa's magical help. I think what disappointed me is that both men are always moved to action by outside forces. Some initiative on their part would have been welcomed and also an opportunity to see them from a different perspective. As this seems to be the final installment (I could be wrong), the opportunity was lost. I have to be fair though – Mr. Kwon and Doug received better treatment. It was amusing to get a private peak in Mr. Kwon's life: his embarrassment over the fact that he's not a better necromancer and has to ask his family for help. Doug is a definition of unflappable stoner, though there is intelligence lurking under his slacker's surface and I wish he got more page time during the series. The new stories also bring new, quirky characters including Kevin the Vampire Slayer, Medusa's immortal sisters Sthenno and Euryale, the Quik-Mart CEO or stammering Harvey Mangoat. I was personally happy that Bobo made another appearance.

After nine stories (including one free), the romance between Josh and Colin is the weakest element of the series. I realize that romance wasn't the point here, but if something is in the story, it should make sense. I still don't get what those two see in each other. Even the attraction between them is something we are told about, not something that comes off the pages. I wish we could have seen some of their weekend together. Additionally, and this is another thing I've complained about before, the series lacks cohesion, the big picture if you like. The ending (if it is indeed the ending) – Josh getting a reward from Medusa for a job well done (even if it will enable Josh and Colin to spend more time together) – was a bit flat. I wanted the boys to go out with the bang.

In the end, I think your enjoyment in the series will depend on your expectations and your mood. If you want some light entertainment with hilarious pop references and outlandish characters and events, then this is the perfect series for you. On the other hand, if you want something more, I recommend the author's Infected series. At the very least, you should try it but this is, as always, only my opinion.

Written for Reviews by Jessewave.
Profile Image for Erica.
1,691 reviews37 followers
October 4, 2017
It's certainly fun, but not funny. That is, I didn't have any laugh-out-loud moments. I liked it even when there were parts that bugged me. All in all, the whole series is easy to read and just breezes by.
Profile Image for Christy.
4,345 reviews124 followers
November 10, 2015
Josh was sure corporate Quik-Mart was going to fire him after he, Colin, and Bobo prevented them from getting a leg on into, well, hell. But nope, they didn't come gunning for him, at least not yet, but Medusa gave him a job. Of course, it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter, but now Josh is Medusa's eyes and ears topside when her other people are unavailable. And who said Josh wouldn't amount to much? *big eyes*

"I’m not crazy,” the crazy guy insisted. “I’m Kevin the Vampire Slayer.”
Now it was Josh’s turn to stare. “Yeah, okay Wesley, take your act on the road.”
“Wesley? My name is Kevin.”
“Holy shit, you call yourself a vampire slayer and you don’t get a Buffy reference? Get the fuck outta my store.

(Like I've been saying - you just can't find this wittiness everywhere!)

Instead of the head honchos firing Josh, now they're trying to kill him. Lucky for Josh, Medusa gave him a talisman to keep him safe. Too bad he doesn't have one for keeping him from pooping his pants in fear. Because seriously, I might've done that after the zombie attacks, the giant slug, and then taking on Medusa's sisters. It's never a boring job for Josh, though.

I loved this! Josh, guardian of the Quik-Mart is awesome-sauce, and his hot vampire boyfriend, Colin, is too. Thank you, Andrea, for the absurd, it’s always much appreciated!
Profile Image for E.Reads.
358 reviews9 followers
July 1, 2018
Loved it. Yes, it's ridiculous but it's book 4 so it's a given by now. It's also the kind of humor and ridiculousness I've come to expect from this series. Plus it's, kind of, make sense for once. Bonus.

I'm sad it's over honestly. Those books were my go to for when I needed a pick me up.
Profile Image for Dawn.
384 reviews36 followers
August 27, 2014
Josh Caplan thought he discouraged the Quik-Mart’ corporation’s expansion into hell but sometimes company CEO’s need a good swift kick in the butt to show them that they are not wanted there. Josh just never anticipates being told he is now a guardian for Hell and that Medusa’s work for him is never done. Take a ride with Josh as he navigates being a guardian as well as stopping the Quik-Mart from trying to kill him once and for all. Can Josh be able to use his new found guardian powers to stop the one thing that stands before him and death- a money hungry CEO?

Let me say that I absolutely adore this series by author Andrea Speed. The stories are a comedy of fun that has left me laughing until I cry as I cheer on Josh at his night job at the Quik-Mart. In the final three stories in this series, readers are taken on the ride of their life as Josh battles a nasty CEO, keep Quik-Mart’s expansion out of the Hell universe called Dev and keep his job all at the same time. Add in some intriguing characters, a fun storyline and you got the makings of one book that will take the reader for the ride of their life, all the while laughing hysterically and rooting for the main characters to survive.

Meet Josh Caplan. Night time Quik-Mart clerk, monster magnet and has a vampire boyfriend. I got to admit. Josh made me laugh at times with his one liners as well as his acceptance of life with an ease that astounded me when I read his adventures in the Josh of the Damned series. Josh grows within each book of the series and in the end, he turns out to be one heck of a guardian…even if he has no idea what the heck he is doing at times, which made me think that was what the author wanted to convey within this final triple feature in the series. Add in some spectacular secondary characters such as Mr. Kwon, Josh’s necromancer boss, Medusa, leader of the hell world Dev, Colin the vampire boyfriend and more leave the reader eager to see what happens next with each page and I, for one, love the adventures Josh has with these characters at one time or another in the series. Add in a love-sick Yeti stalker, Medusa’s insane sisters and you got some plot twists that leave you giggling like crazy. Andrea Speed’s world building is just flat out amazing. Her characters shine in a world where monsters come to the Earth through portals and grab snacks at Quik-Mart, meet humans and just shuffle on back to Dev with the world none the wiser. Not too many details keep the story from being bogged down when we switch over to Dev. It was just enough of a glimpse to make me want to know more about that world and the monsters that call it home.

The final three stories keep the reader spellbound and as you find out what happens when Josh takes on the CEO of Quik-Mart Corporation, Medusa’s sisters and trying to stay alive while doing all this is a fun romp in the paranormal world Ms. Speed as created. The reader will laugh, snicker, root for Josh and all his friends and then laugh some more as the final three stories show the reader how Josh can save his life, his job and find a happy ever after that makes it to the next day. I can’t say more about the final three stories in this amazing series without giving too much away. Just be warned, you should read the series in order as each story to make sense to and to meet the characters that all make an appearance in these final three stories.

If you enjoy a good laugh while reading a paranormal book, then try the Josh of the Damned series and settle in for one hell raisi8ng adventure from start to finish. I look forward to seeing where this author will go in the future for her readers to enjoy.

This is an objective review and not an endorsement
Profile Image for Ami.
6,213 reviews489 followers
July 23, 2014
I have to agree with what Lady*M said in her review .

For me, this series start strong with the first story, Pretty Monsters, but then the whole short stories that follow feel the same old, same old. Sure, I like Andrea Speed's humor, but after awhile, the humor is the only one that is good, but the plot doesn't feel like it's going somewhere. And despite my reducing the expectation of Josh and Colin's romance, I'm still feeling disappointed.

Oh, just read what Lady*M said. My thoughts are exactly the same with her. I'm too lazy to write a comprehensive review.
Profile Image for Barb ~rede-2-read~.
3,724 reviews113 followers
August 12, 2013
I think the best way to summarize what this story and the previous stories are about is to use the author's words, i.e. goofy monsters. She loves goofy monsters and I can't think of a better term to use here. I liked the series but I was not crazy about it. I bought the first three all at the same time so decided to go ahead and complete it. I'm not sure if I would have kept going if I didn't own the books because monsters just don't do it for me. Thank you, Michael, for loaning this last one to me. I'm glad I was able to see the closure to the adventure.

If you are a lover of odd paranormal adventure stories, I'm sure you'll love this series.
Profile Image for Adara.
Author 8 books56 followers
January 8, 2015
Hrm. Apparently I forgot to put in a review for this one after I read it last month. (Dates are approximate, not exact.)

So this picks up where the first triple feature left off - Josh made some enemies in the corporate and they haven't given up putting a Quik-mart in Dev (the other dimension). After a botched attempt on Josh's life, Medusa calls Josh over to Dev to find out who is giving the corporate office the idea that this will work. Josh and Colin have to track them down and stop them.

Still fun, still campy. Enjoyable read.
2,803 reviews3 followers
April 29, 2013


Andrea Speed gives us the final chapters in the Josh of the Damed series (oh say it isn't so) in The Final Checkout. It's guffawing inducing, giggle producing and a wonderful way to send these lovable characters off.

Rating: 4.25 for The Final Checkout
Rating: 4.5 for the series

Don't pass these up. For the full review, visit http://wp.me/p220KL-1cj

For all of my reviews for Andrea Speed's books, visit http://scatteredthoughtsandroguewords...
Profile Image for Pete W.
519 reviews33 followers
April 29, 2013
This installment advanced the plot, tied up loose ends, and concluded in a satisfying manner.

The stories this time had clear direction and purpose, after all the ground work of monster-of-the-week in the previous books.

It was an enjoyable, goofy (as the author put it herself) of a horror story.
Profile Image for Toofan.
976 reviews17 followers
August 7, 2016
If you read one book in this series, it's like you have read them all. I had fun reading it, though I have to admit that I am glad that this was the last volume. (if you can call it a volume)
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews

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