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The Wisdom of Tenderness: What Happens When God's Fierce Mercy Transforms Our Lives – A Stirring Invitation to Accept God's Unfathomable Love

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A Stirring Invitation to Accept God's Unfathomable Tenderness

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 31, 2004

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About the author

Brennan Manning

73 books920 followers
Richard Francis Xavier Manning, known as Brennan Manning (April 27, 1934 – April 12, 2013) was an American author, friar, priest, contemplative and speaker.Born and raised in Depression-era New York City, Manning finished high school, enlisted in the US Marine Corps, and fought in the Korean War. After returning to the United States, he enrolled at Saint Francis University in Loretto, Pennsylvania. Upon his graduation from the seminary in 1963, Manning was ordained a Franciscan priest.[2]

In the late 1960s, Manning joined the Little Brothers of Jesus of Charles de Foucauld, a religious institute committed to an uncloistered, contemplative life among the poor. Manning transported water via donkey, worked as a mason's assistant and a dishwasher in France, was imprisoned (by choice) in Switzerland, and spent six months in a remote cave somewhere in the Zaragoza desert. In the 1970s, Manning returned to the United States and began writing after confronting his alcoholism.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
Profile Image for John.
7 reviews7 followers
October 11, 2012
This is an amazing book by one of my favorite writers, Brennan Manning. His description of God's loving nature runs counter to everything religion taught me as a child. This is a book I have read 3 or 4 times, each time more amazed by Manning's uncommon humility, profound wisdom, and his ability to stir me with the power and simplicity of his word. He reminds me that I am loved...and have always been loved with "infinite tenderness" by a God who yearns for my attention.
Profile Image for Becka the Book Girl.
102 reviews11 followers
September 21, 2009
Synopsis:

Manning opens the book with a statement of concern about the current state of Western spirituality, and recommends as an antidote the Biblical wisdom which is personified in Jesus Christ and His essential tenderness toward "us sin-scarred ragamuffins." It is not suggested that God's justice is negated by this tenderness, but rather that it is "because He is just that He is compassionate…for He knows our weakness." The author shares personal experiences that have led him into a deeper relationship with God as a loving father with a heart of tenderness and invites the reader to embrace our Lord's unfathomable mercy and grace.

Comments:

Manning contends that "every change in the quality of a person's life must grow out of a change in his or her vision of reality." The insights shared in this book have life-changing potential for the reader who comes to it with an open heart and mind, willing to re-examine the sometimes distorted popular image of God.

I would encourage the reader to find a quiet place to read and reread this book slowly, carefully, prayerfully, and in small increments, allowing time for the simple but powerful truth of God's tenderness to saturate his spirit.
Profile Image for Todd Wilhelm.
232 reviews20 followers
May 9, 2013
"In the past year, I've grown increasingly uneasy with the state of contemporary spirituality in the Western world. It has, to put the matter bluntly, the flat flavor of old ice cream and the insipid taste of tame sausage.

Recently, several prominent Christian leaders opined that we're in the midst of a great spiritual awakening, similar to those of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. What's one to make of such buoyant optimism? At least this much can be said: when the best-selling Christian books of the past year celebrated self-centered prayer, end-time agitation, and fictitious conversations with God in the green room of Armageddon, we may assert confidently that a national spiritual awakening is not imminent, that silence and solitude are the first casualties of sappy spirituality, and that the superfluity of much useless information and knowledge has been given pride of place over wisdom and personal authenticity."
-page 5

"Urged by friends in the past to apply for the same sort of letter, I have refused. I simply cannot, in good conscience, become a quisling - a silent conspirator - in this corrupt and corrupting process. As a Christian, I'm dismayed, infuriated, and heartbroken over its travesty of tenderness. It's an example of why the institutional church, which exists to serve the people of God, is never to be confused with the church as mystery - the Christ-centered, biblically faithful, tender, and compassionate cloud of witnesses who walk the talk.

Of course, church abuse isn't limited to one denomination. In countless hours of counseling with Christians from a wide spectrum of faith communities, I've heard many stories of people stripped of their dignity, publicly humiliated, and even "shunned" by their congregation. Yet in almost every case their loyalty to Jesus Christ was not only undiminished but was strengthened by sharing in the fellowship of his suffering. These Christians didn't enjoy the pain, but they were enriched by it.

In contrast to the quotidian brutality of the institutional church, Jesus never even asked the adulterous woman brought before him is she was sorry (John 8:1-11). Feeling her abject shame - shame that had been brought on by the merciless interrogation of religious leaders - Jesus forgave her before she even asked for forgiveness!"
pages 9-10
Profile Image for Claxton.
97 reviews3 followers
December 9, 2018
Some favorite quotes:

As Eugene Kennedy, professor emeritus of psychology at Loyola University in Chicago, writes, “Abasement of the other … is often the invisible agenda when an inquisitor denigrates the subject of inquiry by the defiling process of the inquiry itself…. This is power grotesquely masquerading as authority, degrading its claims to the latter as it systematically degrades those it questions.” (11)

“Live in the wisdom of accepted tenderness.” (22)

“It’s a prayer of exactly seven syllables, and seven syllables correspond perfectly to the rhythm
of our breathing. Inhale on Abba; exhale on I belong to you. (40)

Instinctively, the heart understands that a healer must have experiential knowledge of the pain that she heals. This instinct is confirmed by Francis MacNutt, a doctor of theology preeminent in the healing ministry. Addressing those involved in the healing ministry of the church, he writes, “Experience indicates that certain people have a special power to pray for certain illnesses but are only fair to middling in praying for other diseases.” He cites the case of Michael Gaydos, who, after the healing of his own impaired eyesight, has been effective in healing prayer for those with a similar affliction. “His experience leads us to another interesting conclusion: people who have been healed of a particular ailment seem to have a special gift from that point on in ministering to people with the same problem. Perhaps it is because they now have greater faith in the area in which they themselves have directly experienced God’s power.”

One of life’s greatest paradoxes is that it’s in the crucible of pain and suffering that we become tender. Not all pain and suffering, certainly. If that were the case, the whole world would be tender, since no one es- capes pain and suffering. To these elements must be added mourning,
understanding, patience, love, and the willingness to remain vulnerable. Together they lead to wisdom and tenderness . . . A further explanation may be that the degree of compassion for the suffering person runs deeper. In praying for chronic alcoholics, I’m frequently overcome by a surge of compassion that I don’t ordinarily experience in healing prayer, perhaps because of my own struggle with alcoholism (which has been well documented elsewhere). The damnable imprisonment of not being able to quit, the obsession of the mind and compulsion of the body that paralyze the freedom to choose, the terror of human bondage, the nagging sense of hypocrisy, the guilt, the shame, the loneliness, and the harrowing fear that I’ve lost God forever are quickly revived when I pray for an alcoholic. Through vicarious suffering a profound rapport is established, and the ineluctable truth, “I am the other,” tears down any sense of separation. The healing ministry is a baffling business, and I lay no claim to understanding why some folks get healed and others don’t. With my limited experience in this area, I hazard a conjecture: the greater our empathy, the more closely we identify through compassion with the person for whom we pray, the more perfect is our communion with the tender mercy of the healing Christ. (40)

as e. e. cummings wrote, “Damn everything but the circus!” (50)

“Jesus Christ isn’t cold in the Eucharist, but he is cold in the body of a little child.” (54)

In The Divine Conspiracy, a book that Richard Foster said he had been searching for all his life, Dallas Willard writes, “The positive characterization of the kingdom attitude is agape love…. Jesus calls us to him to impart himself to us. He does not call us to do what he did, but to be who he was, permeated with love. Then the doing of what he said and did becomes the natural expression of who we are in him.” (62)

If we’re as serious as was Francis of Assisi about growing in the wisdom of tenderness, we might do well to take his peace prayer off the wall and hang it in our heart, make it the wisdom by which we live:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is injury, let me bring pardon;
where there is hatred, love,
where there is doubt, faith,
where there is despair, hope,
where there is darkness, light,
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not seek so much
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


‘Many Christians have gathered like ravens around the carcass of cheap grace and there have drunk the poison which has killed the following of Christ.’ (125) (Bonhoeffer)

If the former, let it go; if the latter, let it be! (138)
Profile Image for Karl Ingersoll.
26 reviews
January 9, 2020
When I am weak …

Brennan Manning presents difficulty to the performance based righteousness that is so common and applauded. His openness with regard to his own failures adds a beautifully non-pretentious tinge to this book. It provides hope for all who struggle and a riveting perspective on the Christ who stands at the center of our spiritual experience.
Profile Image for Elizabeth Forshee.
45 reviews2 followers
March 13, 2019
I opened this book at the perfect season--Lent. Brennan never ceases to minister to my soul. I resonated with many aspects personally and was challenged to re-evaluate my perspective towards others and myself. I will be chewing on the messages from this book for some time.
42 reviews17 followers
July 10, 2013
Another Brennan Manning book that touched my soul deeply. He writes as one well acquainted with brokenness. Love his writing style!
Profile Image for Eric.
604 reviews10 followers
June 11, 2020
Priest and recovering alcoholic Brennan Manning, author of The Ragamuffin Gospel, speaks in this book about the concept of God's tenderness. A brand new perspective he shares, which has struck and stuck with me, is the concept that it is not just that God loves us (because, by definition, that is what God does), but that God goes beyond loving us to actually liking us...liking us as we are. Manning goes on to describe and explain what this knowledge means and does for our daily lives, and what it calls us forth to then now do. God's tenderness leads to mercy, and that mercy then shapes how we live as merciful people toward others. In the book Manning is very blunt in addressing the fact that he feels much of the institutional church has lost its bearing - that we have lost the fundamental life of living in God's love and tenderness, that we exist as instruments of his mercy and grace, focusing instead on rules, procedures, doctrines, and how to live our best life now and getting all the blessings God wants us to have to live a successful life.

Manning is always honest about his own weakness and failures and expressing how he has experienced God's mercy and tenderness. He is also honest about calling a spade a spade in the lives of our culture and the church. But, as always, he is also a messenger of God's mercy and the Gospel.
Profile Image for Margaret.
1,188 reviews6 followers
May 9, 2017
I am becoming a fan of Brennan Manning because his books are deep and very spiritual. I have long become bored with religious books that seem to study the Word or discuss spiritual themes but from an academic viewpoint. I have had a desire in recent years to dig deep into the spiritual well that will bring me closer to the Lover of my Soul. This book is such a book that digs deep, Brennan Manning speaks from his heart but also from the leading of the Holy Spirit. One of my favorite books of this genre.
90 reviews
July 4, 2025
A powerful exploration on the tenderness, love and mercy of God

Manning knocks it out of the ball park again with another beautiful faith-filled uplifting theological treatise on the goodness of God. He writes with artful, poetic, and poignant prose. He calls us to behold the perfect tenderness and love of God, receive it, live in it, and share it with others. I highly recommend this book.
Profile Image for Jenn Diep.
11 reviews36 followers
July 4, 2025
“The tender compassion of God has broken from on high to shine on those living in darkness, and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet on the road to peace.”

So many gems in this book and I am better for reading it.

I’m also back on my Christian girl grind set mindset, ready to read some more substantial books this summer !
Profile Image for Meg.
305 reviews4 followers
August 4, 2020
Honestly, I think Manning's overly academic and ostentatious language use takes away from the impact of this book. I appreciated the ideas and his perspective! All in all, an interesting and thought-provoking read that was both encouraging and challenging.
Profile Image for Jacob Zeeryp.
45 reviews
February 5, 2025
At this moment of the journey, everything hinges on grace. I can't free myself from self-damnation. I must be set free. Only the fierce mercy of Jesus Christ, which tames the wolves of doubt, shame, and despair, can accomplish my liberation.

Brennan manning
Profile Image for Vera Lynn.
133 reviews1 follower
May 14, 2018
I loved pieces of this book, but felt confused by others as the flow of this book in particular did not go as smoothly as Brennan’s other books. Still appreciated his wisdom!
Profile Image for Brooke Fradd.
740 reviews3 followers
April 12, 2019
I didn't love it as I do most of his books, but I still had highlighter in hand as I made my way through the pages.
Profile Image for Lydia Gates.
260 reviews
March 19, 2020
Not a book to be read quickly. You need time to process. I read 2-3 chapters, then let it sit awhile in my mind. Good ending.
Profile Image for Sharyn Berg.
384 reviews8 followers
April 12, 2020
There are some good things to ponder and consider in here, as well as a couple of promises that I just don’t agree with. However, I’m glad that I read it.
4 reviews
July 22, 2022
so convicting and inspiring

Loved and highlighted a lot…also lots was more than I can comprehend, but I’m ok with that when it’s Brennan sharing.
Profile Image for Monique Amado.
Author 3 books22 followers
January 6, 2025
Another masterpiece by Brennan. He explained God's grace better than anyone I've ever read.
1 review
January 27, 2025
great tender read

This book is a quick read. The tenderness of God’s love is artfully written and beautifully expressed. Would read it again.
Profile Image for Aguss.
74 reviews
January 28, 2025
"El amor y la misericordia son las fuerzas más poderosas de la tierra"❤️‍🔥
Profile Image for Steve Austin.
Author 20 books24 followers
November 2, 2016
One of my all-time favorite books EVER. Brennan Manning is a little Jesus.
Profile Image for Robert Clay.
104 reviews26 followers
February 24, 2009
This is the first Brennan Manning book I've read, and I must say, I was just a bit disappointed. Manning is a powerful writer; he can tell a great story, and his words are forceful and passionate (Manning loves words - descriptive, obscure, nuanced - a lot of them). Perhaps I am being overly critical, but it seemed to me that he goes a bit over the top sometimes, as in using a wealth of words that aren't really necessary and can seem to get in the way. I think it annoyed me a little bit that I could never quite put my finger on what 'tenderness' is, as Manning sees it; is it simply synonymous with mercy or compassion, or is it something more? Maybe that's just me being dense.

But enough criticism. The book does have a beautifully rendered message about the transformative power of God's mercy, while at the same time providing a pointed criticism of how we all do a masterful job of getting it wrong, hung up on our failings, as well as those of others. I particularly liked the final chapter; the 'imagination exercise', in which St. Paul appears in modern-day New Orleans and gives an appraisal of twenty-first century Christianity in America.

From the book:
'The greater our empathy, the more closely we identify through compassion with the person for whom we pray, the more perfect is our communion with the tender mercy of the healing Christ.'
'Love is the axis of the Christian moral revolution and the only sign by which the disciple is to be recognized.'
Profile Image for Aronkai.
57 reviews
May 3, 2010
"A classic case in point: The teaching of Jesus on the indissolubility of marriage is unbending and uncompromising. Yet the apostle Paul, who arguably understood the mind of Christ better than anyone before or since his time, didn't hesitate to intervene in the unhappy marriage of a believer yoked to an unbeliever. Invoking his own apostolic authority, Paul modified the teaching of Jesus and dissolved the marriage, because - as he wrote in his Letter to the Romans - 'God has called us to a life of peace.' And elsewhere he said, 'We have the mind of Christ.' (p. 167-168)

I personally disagree with this opinion, and think that the apostle Paul's verses quoted to support a divorce, are taken out of context.
Profile Image for Brenda .
629 reviews4 followers
June 16, 2015
This was a great book on Gods love and mercy. He touched on a lot of topics ministering to others, loving your neighbor, judging others, sin....

The book was Mannings usual honesty, loving stories.
Ma favorite quote : If we presume that life owes us the best - and nothing but the best - then reality rarely lives up to our expectations.

He goes on to say... What follows logically is that we blithely take for granted everything that comes our way. The spiritually poor- like the economically poor - experience genuine gratitude and appreciate the slightest gift. Ironically, the more we grow in spirit of Jesus Christ, the poorer we become. The more we realize that everything is gift, the more tenor of our life becomes one of humble, joyful thanksgiving.
Profile Image for Michelle Marie.
324 reviews17 followers
November 16, 2008
I really relate to Brennan Manning's writings. Many times I felt like he wrote this FOR me. God has really poured wisdom, practical and profound, on this man. This little book is definately a good quick read that I will have to come back to re-read often. One of the things I learned that has really stuck out to me in general was having recieved the tenderness from God we share that with others, especially when people choose not to live the way I do. If you struggle with being tender with others this really is the book to read. It opens your eyes. It has mine.
Profile Image for Lori.
941 reviews37 followers
November 30, 2011
I took my time with this one reading very short book - just bits at a time allowing me to really meditate and ponder on his words. If we could all get a handle on how fierce God's mercy is towards us what a different world this would be. I do not always agree with all Brennan Manning has to say but I love that he gets me thinking and meditating on issues from perspectives I hadn't considered before. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Sarah.
599 reviews
February 6, 2015
Definitely not as good as his others, nevertheless an enjoyable read with a few thought-provoking elements. From the other reviews I expected Manning to talk more about politics in this book; he did not. The comments he made in regards to politics, war, the death penalty were all inoffensive unless the reader is exceedingly nationalistic and/or vengeful.
I probably won't ever read this again (unlike "Ruthless Trust" or "Abba's Child") but I'm glad I did.
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