Hearts and Llamas is a short story about Claire and Carter's Valentines Day. A very funny little short featuring the Chocolate Lovers gang (including a 10 year old Gavin) preparing for Valentines day. An ordinary mom would be thrilled that her son has an elementary crush. But Claire is definitely not ordinary. The fellas are trying to figure out the perfect present for their wives, while a girl named Brooklyn has been phoning the house for Gavin. Back to what we love so much about Tara Sivek she writes a short story for Valetines built around the three couples and one goofy boy we have come to know and love. In this book Gavin is 10 and one of the little girls in his class has a crush on him. I love Claire's reaction to this little girl. "Little Skankasaurus Rex" talking about a 10 year old little girl! Bhahah ha! "Fourth grade floozy" lmao!
A really cute Valentine's Day story about the gang that mainly focuses on Claire and Carter who I just love. Kudos to Brooklyn! The humour is OTT, and just what you would expect from Ms Sivec and her hilariously smutty brain, but there's also a few moments of sweetness in there too (gotta love Carter!). On a side note - llamas are random, but always freaking funny... Loved catching up with all my fav's! I'm wonder if we're ever gonna get a story about Liz and Jim ... This was a funny and cute story by Tara Sivec. Oh and by the way, yes there is a llama! aueah! The old Tara is back. Enjoy! Very cute short story!! That llama story was hysterical!! Hilarious! Tara, you are one amazing writer! It's a cute short story. Hilarious! Loved this little excerpt!
I square my body towards her and wiggle the fingers of my hands as they hang down at my sides, wishing I wore worn my gun belt. Wishing I had a gun belt.
Is this some new form of warfare? Kill the enemy with kindness? Her skills are no match for mine. NO MATCH! And she speaks in nothing but exclamations. I don't know whether to challenge her to a cage fighting match or braid her hair.
I'm totally going to cry. Right here in the middle of this fourth grade class. I am going to curl up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and sobbing like a baby.
“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out.”
“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”
"Her name is Princess Sugar-Britches, and she is your Valentine's Day present!"
"Even when he's in the fifth grade and those little bitches pull out the big guns and start getting boob jobs and vaginal rejuvenation surgeries."