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128 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1929
"Tendo sido incapaz de viver segundo a moral comum, procuro, pelo menos, estar de acordo com a minha: é no momento em que se rejeitam todos os princípios que convém munirmo-nos de escrúpulos."
"O passado, por pouco que nele pensemos, é coisa infinitamente mais estável do que o presente."
"... os livros não contêm a vida; contêm tão só as suas cinzas; a isto, suponho eu, chamam a experiência humana."
"A paixão precisa de gritos, o próprio amor se compraz nas palavras, mas a simpatia pode ser silenciosa."
"Não sofremos com os nossos vícios, sofremos tão só por não nos podermos conformar com eles."
"Encontrei-me só. Depois a solidão meteu-me medo. Nunca se está completamente só: para nossa desgraça, estamos sempre com nós mesmos."

"La vida es algo más que la poesía, algo más que la fisiología e incluso que la moral en la que he creído tanto tiempo. Es todo eso y es mucho más: es la vida.”
“La música no nos facilita pensar, sino soñar, y con los sueños más imprecisos.”
“Estamos atados por tantas ligaduras en que hemos vivido que nos parece que al alejarnos será también más fácil alejarnos de nosotros mismos.”
“No son nuestros vicios los que nos hacen sufrir, sólo sufrimos por no poder resignarnos a ellos.”
“Creemos sin razón que la vida nos transforma: lo que hace es desgastarnos y lo que desgasta en nosotros son las cosas aprendidas.”
This was Yourcenar's first book and what a debut it must have been. A 26 year old well-to-do young woman writing about a gay man who has lived most of his life in conflict with his sexuality and leaves his wife. This short novel, and like that magnificent ouvre Memoirs of Hadrian by the same author, is written in epistolary form. There is that distinct voice and style too but it is not as developed as it is in the later book.
There were few gay novels when this book was written in the 1920s. E.M. Forster had written Maurice fifteen years before this novel and the book wouldn't get published until 1971 after Forster's death, Richard Bruce Nugent had written the wonderful short story "Smoke, Lilies and Jade" three years prior which unfortunately is not as remembered as it should be. Gide, Proust and Mann had written books with homosexual male characters and storylines, but their books had more to do with longing for lovers than the inner-conflict suffered by those that are gay, which Yourcenar writes about. This was before Baldwin, Capote, Vidal and the other gay writers after the 1940s and so this book must have been a bold publication.
Alexis who is the protagonist and the writer of the letter paints a picture of his life, his childhood and the unhappiness he suffers. Homosexuality is more alluded than mentioned outright, but Yourcenar manages to write well enough about the disgust and fear one feels in those frightful years of uncertainty and self-loathing, which I don't believe she would have done so well if she had not been bisexual herself. However as mentioned in another review by David here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..., many of the things Alexis says are not believable as the poor boy and later young man that he was, among them something about the worst thing about poverty not being the deprivations but the promiscuity. A statement made undoubtedly from the ignorance of that state as Yourcenar was from a wealthy family herself. So although this book is good, it is clearly one from a writer whose powers, knowledge and talent have not ripened.