Romance on a Global Stage: Pen Pals, Virtual Ethnography, and “Mail Order” Marriages

by Nicole Constable

By the year 2000 more than 350 Internet agencies were plying the email-order marriage trade, and the business of matching up mostly Western men with women from Asia, Eastern Europe, and Latin America had become an example of globalization writ large. This provocative work opens a window onto the complex motivations and experiences of the people behind the stereotypes and misconceptions that have exploded along with the practice of transnational courtship and marriage. Combining extensive Internet ethnography and face-to-face fieldwork, Romance on a Global Stage looks at the intimate realities of Filipinas, Chinese women, and U.S. men corresponding in hopes of finding a suitable marriage partner.

Through the experiences of those engaged in pen pal relationships―their stories of love, romance, migration, and long-distance dating―this book conveys the richness and dignity of women's and men's choices without reducing these correspondents to calculating opportunists or naive romantics. Attentive to the structural, cultural, and personal factors that prompt women and men to seek marriage partners abroad, Romance on a Global Stage questions the dichotomies so frequently drawn between structure and agency, and between global and local levels of analysis.

Genres: Ethnography, Nonfiction, Anthropology, Feminism, Academic, Politics

283 pages, Paperback

First published August 19, 2003

About the author

Nicole Constable is assistant professor of anthropology at the University of Pittsburgh. Other contributors are Sharon A. Carstens, Myron L. Cohen, Mary S. Erbaugh, Elizabeth Lominska Johnson, Howard J. Martin; and Ellen Oxfeld.

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

As someone who advocates for sex workers’ rights, I appreciated the author’s determination to portray the women she studied as active agents in their relationships . Like I’m sure many people will find though, I couldn’t help but feel ambivalent toward her findings.

It is very true, as she notes repeatedly, that a critique of these relationships and their capitalistic undertones is dubious when in isolation—why would one critique this relationship, Constable asks, and not our sexualization of teenage girls for their prom, or other relics of our own culture? This fails to take into consideration the many people who do critique all of the above, from rad fem’s to anti-capitalists more subtle in their fight for gender equity. This isn’t to say that I agree with the latter arguments, but to fail to address their presence for arguments’ sake is negligent, as is the use of Chandra Talpade Mohanty’s words of “saving” “Third World” women from the “savage” men of their societies when the critique some raise is self-reflexive & of a system we have engendered ourselves.

Additionally, if we’re looking at economics of sexuality and topographies of desire, these relationships don’t exist in a vacuum but in relation to others. A comprehensive study of these relations would be beyond the scope of this work, but at least some postulations of the implications on other relationships & economies, both transnationally and domestically, would provide a better framework of analysis.

Perhaps this study is most interesting not for its content, but for the questions it raises of ethical research methods in the digital era.

[Joe Henry · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as assigned reading for my first Anthropology course at UALR, "Understanding Cultures." As I reckon the professor intended, it was certainly eye-opening. Until now, I have had very little cause, other than the occasional human interest movie about Americans in the Vietnam war or in WWII in the Pacific, to think about white Americans marrying Asian women. Lo and behold, it is a thing, a thing subject to suspicion by many, including the U.S. government (INS).

[Brinlie Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was really interesting. It is kind of like a long distance version of tinder but the dynamics are completely different. It was fun to see the ideals that the Asian women thought American men are. However, I didn't necessarily like the way that American women are portrayed in this book by the American men. It seemed to me they were often trying to justify why their marriages hadn't worked out. (They should at least own up to the fact that marriage means two people working together and they played a part in its failure).
I thought the women were cute and I found them relatable. I wouldn't say this is a must read but I did find it enlightening. It was a struggle towards the end when it got to the history and conclusion though. Maybe if there had been some women's quotes from the 50's-70's it would have been more enjoyable to follow.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't really give a clear review of this book. I mean, I thought it was just okay after I read it - pretty good but not, like, mind-blowing - but then the class discussion that ensued made me feel a need to defend the book against all these ridiculous criticisms and misinterpretations, so I don't really know how I actually feel about it. I do think that it's pretty decent, but I would only recommend it if you are especially interested in this particular topic.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

very honest and balanced look at mail order marriages via new technology.

[C. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh.