How to Communicate with Confidence

by Mike Bechtle

Confident conversation is easier than you think

Communication is an art, and everyone--whether shy or outgoing--can improve their conversational skills.

In this straightforward guide, communication expert Dr. Mike Bechtle shows you how to
- learn the art of give and take
- listen more effectively
- confidently strike up conversations
- keep the conversation going naturally
- wrap it up without feeling awkward or rude
- enjoy yourself in the process

No matter what your personality type, you can talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere. This book gives you the tools you need to do it.

Genres: Self Help, Communication, Nonfiction, Social, Relationships

224 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2013

Reviews

[Jonathan Hutchings · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit too much Jesus for my liking.

[Dakota Frazier · Rating 4 out of 5]

A straightforward formula to becoming a better communicator! There is a lot of wisdom in this book! I would’ve given it 5 stars, but it felt a bit long winded at some points. Overall, it is wonderful for it’s purpose and I’m excited to use what I’ve learned in this book.

[Laythan Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great message just a unique amount of biblical references.

[Billy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up at the airport to peruse the content. I am changing jobs so I figured it would be a good time to brush up on some communication basics.
It's a quick read and the content makes a lot of sense so I think it can be a worthwhile book for anyone regardless of their communication style. It focuses on making connections with others through dialogue, and provides guidance on how to become better listeners.
Overall it's a pretty good book. The only downside is the material is a little dry/redundant and some off the author's notes are cringeworthy (i.e. "you don't need to hire an experienced programmer to teach you email, just contact the local university and ask for the best computer student" )

[edgardo ramos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

I'm a school teacher, I have been applying these strategies and is working great with my students. Great book, enjoy it

[Nirmal Thaliath · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mike Bechtie ha decenni di esperienza nell'insegnamento di social skills, ha condotto numerosi seminari e seguito molte aziende sul tema. Questo libro è una raccolta di consigli molto pratici sul conversare ed indirizzati agli introversi. Chiamo il libro "raccolta" perché molto spesso si riduce a liste di consigli, talvolta anche piuttosto banali, che potrebbero essere presentate di una serie di articoli da blog. Metà del libro è costituita da metafore molto lunghe utilizzate per chiarire i concetti spiegati, il problema è che queste metafore sembrano più strumenti utilizzati dall'autore per riempire le pagine così da far numero piuttosto che per chiarire le idee presentate. I concetti presenti nel libro sono infatti molto semplici e non necessitano di metafore per essere compresi, e sopratutto non necessitano di metafore così lunghe da occupare il 75% del un capitolo come talvolta capita.

Il libro è diviso in quattro parti:

FUNCTION UNIQUELY: una raccolta di consigli trovabili in qualsiasi libro di auto-aiuto, se avete letto una qualunque nozione di "sii te stesso" questa parte del librot avrà poco da aggiungere al vostro bagaglio di conoscenze.

PREPARE THOROUGHLY: la teoria alla base di tutti i consigli presenti nel libro: l'obiettivo di una conversazione è trovare punti in comune dato che è alla base di ogni legame emotivo che si forma tra persone.. Un altro consiglio importante offerto qui è l'idea di porre domande al proprio interlocturoe piuttosto che cercare di apparire interessanti introducendo nuovi argomenti, questo consiglio si addice perfettamente a chi è introverso e l'ho apprezzato.

EXPLORE EXPECTANTLY: la miglior parte del libro, contiene consigli pratici sul conversare, non fosse per questa parte il libro meriterebbe 0 stelle. Questa parte si riduce troppo spesso ad elenchi e liste, inoltre alcune volte i consigli sono molto banali (del tipo "sorridi quando parli" "ascolta bene quando gli altri parlano" "non interrompere") ma sono preseti anche consigli interssanti. Data la natura ripetitiva del libro, senza un blocco di appunti per annotare i consigli piu interssanti la letture del testo perde gran parte del suo valore.

EXPLORE OUTWARDLY

Una serie di consigli su aspetti particolari della conversazione: gestione dell'ansia, tipo di domande da porre, social media (peggior capitolo nel libro, sembra essere scritto da un boomer che ha scoperto l'esistenza delle caselle di poste elettronica, decisamente non al passo con i tempi) ecc. Questa parte del librot è praticamente una raccolta di post da blog data la mancanza di un filo conduttore, cosa che almeno era presente nelle precdenti parti. C'è qualche consiglio utile qua e la intermezzato dalle solite lunghissime metafore utilizzate a mo' di esempio.

VERDETTO
Non consiglio questo libro in quanto c'è di meglio nel mercato, ciò non significa che manchino consigli utili all'interno del testo. Se decideste di leggere il libro ne uscirete sicuramente arricchiti ma sono comunque presenti migliori alternative, anche gratuite online, a questo testo.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re an introvert you’ll glean something from this. I am not. So off the bat, that should give some context for my review.
He has good analogies. But the fact is that none of these tips are new in any way.
I think at the end of the day I learned that I’m confident…because I do all of these things anyway…
So if you’re a terrible communicator and just need the very foundational basics of how to speak to others, then this book is for you.
If you’re looking for something a little more robust…perhaps not.

[Joe Nealis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly loved this book. It’s a very practical guide for growing in your people skill. Connecting with people is my job, so I’m always looking for ways to grow in this. I took a ton of notes and have found so much of this book to be incredibly useful in connecting with and loving others. Highly recommend.

I will say though, it took a few chapters to really get going. But once it did, it was a gold mine. Super helpful book.

[لمى جمجوم · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Reach out and touch someone.”
Conversations do make our life deeper.
Even a small conversation makes our day sometimes.

People are introvert and extroverts. Its okay to be an introvert. We don’t have to be all extroverts. But lets learn how to use some tools to be able to live those deep moments in life.

Good skills and techniques in the book.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

4&1/2 stars. For someone who is uncomfortable with social situations, and I am, this book was very encouraging and practical. I want to be salt and light, but it’s tough as an introvert. The author explains that it’s often the talking going on inside our own heads which prevents us from engaging in conversation with others - so true! I’ll most likely be reading this again.

[Deena M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and easy read. 3.5/5 stars because I felt some aspects of the book were common sense, maybe a little repetitive, and I think there are possibly better books out there that discuss similar topics. It did have some good takeaways though especially as an introvert during conversations that I can apply to my life which I really appreciated and will be referencing. Enjoyed this read overall!

[Terica Meador · Rating 1 out of 5]

Maybe I was expecting some miracle cure for overcoming my introvert tendencies when having conversations. If I was, this book did not provide one. It was full of common sense advice - nothing earth shattering and unfortunately nothing new for me to glean and use. I skimmed most of it.

[Austin Blue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal book in building communication skills, little tricks and tips on how to guide conversations but also takes a lot of pressure off talking about how to have an effective conversation it takes two people, not just one.

[Joel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I personally found this book has helped place me on a better path for me to become a better conversationalist.

So far, I’ve been practicing some of the advice with positive results, but there are some things that I’m still struggling with. What I did take away from the book most is that a conversation requires effort from all parties. The best we can do is to try to form a relationship and respond in ways that encourage the flow of the conversation, learn how to control that flow, and learn how to use that control to end a conversation ~ ideally on a high note.

The other thing I’ve learned was that we all have comprehension filters. These filters generally require us to better understand our conversation partner and ourselves so we can clarify any misunderstandings. That way we can continue to build professional relationships, acquaintances and/or just have small talk if/when an opportunity arises, with a reasonable amount of comfort. Or we can choose to excuse ourselves if we find that the conversation isn’t beneficial, or healthy.

I will want to revisit this book again since there’s probably more that can be gleaned from rereads.

Many may be put off from the Christianity aspect of the book, but personally it didn’t effect my enjoyment of the book.

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fairly distracting style -- really enjoys lists.

[Kayla Rivera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good simple book

[Dorothy Hann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Came away with a little more information on how to communicate. How it is important to speak with integrity. Probably will reread to remember most of the points mentioned.

[Darya Ayatova · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated the deeper take on how introverted individuals can utilize “weaker traits.” It was a meaningful read, and the sincere writing did not go unnoticed.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is great for those who need some specific tips on how go be a better communicator. I wish I had read this when I was younger...

[Kahreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

it’s a very straightforward book with a lot of tips and confidence boosting lines:)

[GShi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is an exceptional book for those who want to better communicate with others in the different avenues of communication styles! This book is easy to read, practical, and entertaining.

[Iangagn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mike Bechtle keeps it simple and sets things straight from the get-go by telling the reader what the book is about and who he wrote it for. "How to Communicate with Confidence" is a book about interpersonal relationships tailored for the introvert person, although the advice it contains is applicable to both intro- and extroverts. It doesn't contain any novel or ground-breaking ideas, but it made for an enjoyable read nonetheless. I'd recommend it to anyone who's looking to read something pleasant while traveling.

[Lydia Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Checked it out because it was a free deal on Kindle. Glad I read it- really helped to put our interactions with others in perspective. Our conversations with others can be more meaningful than what we may make it to be; everyone is able to offer their uniqueness and individuality to conversation, and that's what makes life interesting!

[Marsella Macabre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the most interesting book in the world, but, it's quite useful if you're like me & have problems with communicating because of anxiety or any reason whatsoever.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm so glad to have won this! It turned out to be helpful in addressing some of my problems, and overall I liked it, though it didn't go into as much depth as I would have liked.

[Chris Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

A decent read. A few good nuggets. I bought it because I though it was tips to help with public speaking, not conversations.