The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time

by Barton Goldsmith

Bad we all have them! But what happens when these bad habits extend to our relationships? Whether it's interrupting your partner mid-sentence, acting bored when they are speaking, or teasing them in hurtful ways―over time these bad habits can lead to resentment, and can mean the difference between a wonderful, close relationship, and one characterized by conflict or unhappiness. Fortunately, for all of us, good relationship habits can be learned (or re-learned), and bad habits can be un-learned. Named one of “America’s Top Therapists” by Cosmopolitan magazine, prominent Los Angeles-based psychologist and radio talk show host Barton Goldsmith, PhD, offers readers simple, accessible tips and tools for developing and strengthening positive relationship habits such as gratitude, humor, togetherness, and honesty. Habits can be hard to break, but if you love someone, you’ve got to make sacrifices. When you consider that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, it becomes clear that many of us may need help in making a relationship thrive. The Happy Couple shows how simple acts of kindness and generosity can increase the likelihood of a relationship being happy, healthy, and long-lasting.

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Self Help

200 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2013

About the author

Honored by several professional associations, Dr. Barton Goldsmith is a multi-award winning psychotherapist, a syndicated columnist, author and former NPR radio host, as well as a recognized keynote speaker. He has appeared on many television shows and is frequently interviewed by the national press. He was named by Cosmopolitan Magazine as one of America’s top therapists. Since 2002, his weekly column Emotional Fitness, has been featured in over 200 publications. His newest book, The Happy Couple will be released in November of this year.

Reviews

[Mustafa Hasan · Rating 2 out of 5]

التفاصيل الصغيرة بين الزوجين تهم كثيرا !

كتاب خفيف يحمل عشرات الافكار المكررة عن كيف تجعل حياتك الزوجية افضل
شيء طيب استذكار الأشياء التي نعرفها مسبقا ،
ولكن لا اظن بأن الكتاب قدم اضافة لم اكن اعرفها ،، هو فقط يلفتك لاشياء تناسيتها
بعد قراءتي للكتاب اعجز عن تلخيص افكاره الرئيسية ،، لأنه متنوع ويتحدث عن الكثير من الامور العادية

[AJourneyWithoutMap · Rating 4 out of 5]

At some point in our lives, most all of us need to deal with unsuitable habits in our relationships. They occur when we aren’t paying attention to what we are doing or saying, and so we slip into a comfort zone of not being our best selves. Unfortunately, even if you don’t see it, your partner is going to feel it and perhaps be hurt by your words or actions.

The Happy Couple: Relationship Habits for Healthy, Lasting Love by Barton Goldsmith is an extremely helpful book which every couple must read. It offers an exciting range of choices to work out together, which are there in our everyday life, but which we often overlooked.

A case in point is about relationship. A relationship cannot thrive or even survive without good communication, writes Goldsmith. He adds, “Good communication is not about never arguing. It’s not about being able to read each other’s minds or about being able to have long discussions on a variety of topics. It is about being able to share all the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual aspects of your life, and without being judged or feeling devalued.”

It is not only about communication. The book also deals with Gratitude, Humor, Acknowledgment, Interdependence, Celebration, Playfulness, Meeting Needs, Acceptance, Positivity, Honesty, Nurturing, Balance, Togetherness, Problem Solving, Affection, Compassion, Thoughtfulness, Respectful Arguing, Security, Enjoyment, Emotional Progress, Working on Your Relationship, and In Love for Life. It covers almost all aspects of relationship.

Reading the book will help you to identify your bad habits. Confronting them can be difficult, but it will be worth it.

[Courtney LaSalle · Rating 3 out of 5]

The happy couple
Barton Goldsmith
★☆★
received from netgalley

I like this book! I'm not usually into self help books. I am one of those people who knows they have issues but when other people say I do I totally deny it.

Anyways this book was on the shorter end but I liked that. it was straight and to the point.

A lot of the things this book mentioned in helping you build a bettwr relationship is common sense. The beauty of that is in our relationships we kinda forget that its the simple things that work. Communicating at dinner instead of watching tv or picking up fastfood on the way home because your family ate without you. Gratitude, remembering to be thankful of all the things we have. Being grateful for our partner even if they did nothing. In relationships we fall into routines and forget the simple things. This book reminds you of those things. Sometimes I slapped myself in the head thinking man these solutions are simple everyday things I can incorporate into my life and relationship.

So yes I would recommend this book to someone.

[Faisal Nasser · Rating 1 out of 5]

لفت إنتباهي موضوع الكتاب كوني أعشق الكتب اللي تتكلم عن العلاقات الزوجية " واللي يتميز هذا المجال بكثرة الكتب التجارية فيه "
بدأت الكاتبة بنقد الكتب الأخرى وأن كتابها هو المنقذ الوحيد، تفائلت !
قرأت عينة من الكتاب وإذا به كتاب تجاري بمرتبة الشرف، أظهر الإمتنان لشريكك قل أحبك أمزح بحدود أضفي روح الدعابة على علاقتكما!
بدون أدنى تعمق أو مجهود فكري يشكر عليه.

[Natasha M. Nurse, Esq. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simple ways to make a relationship work for the long run!

[Bryce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every couple sets out to be "the happy couple", but so often life gets in the way. This book is a great resource on how to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. In the day to day shuffle that is life we can lose track on what is important, and all too often, what is important to our significant others. I took a lot of good lessons from this book, one I am trying to spend some time on is acknowledgement. Specifically, learning how to say I'm sorry... turns out it's harder than I thought.

I highly recommend this book and I would suggest it to anyone no matter the condition of the relationship, not just if your relationship is in trouble.

Bryce
Westlake Village, CA

[Karmi · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Happy Couple is a wonderful read. It is simple and concise yet really makes you think and gives you quick and easy exercises. The book is organized in a very use friendly manner that lets you go back and re-read about a certain topic or issue (or share only a part or two with your partner)

I really enjoyed this book and it reminded me or All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarden. While it is common sense and familiar ideas the way that Dr. Barton Goldsmith writes it, is motivating, encouraging and easy to apply.

A MUST!! And a keeper to refer to every so often-

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on goodreads giveaways. It's a small, portable book- great for carrying along and reading while you're waiting in an office, in bed, or somewhere else. It has great tips for keeping your relationship on even ground and being happier. To be honest, much of it is common sense, but sometimes you need to revisit ideas, approaches, and perspective to keep our relationship happy. This book makes it easy to do. I even lent it o a friend. Great book to have because its helpful without being preachy.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think this book has any secrets to happiness. But it is a good reminder of what we should think about/focus on in our relationships. And a good reminder that you don't have to compromise yourself to please another.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an inspiration and thoughtful book towards their readers.
Gives you a new light and ways to resolve any matters you may have in a relationship. Plus other positive new activities to do as a couple.
Do yourself some good by reading this one!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book with lots of helpful advice, exercises and ideas to help you succeed in your relationships. Mostly common sense type of things and active listening strategies. Not as thought provoking as some, but still worth the time to read. Well written with a quick and easy reading style.

[Nathan Little · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book. Helpful in that it gives practical steps to help which is great when one partner struggles to listen to the other.

Only issue I found, but for me almost made me put the book down and stop reading, is that it's gender biased with guys being the problem. Can we please make this just simply gender neutral?

[Fadhel Alzaher · Rating 3 out of 5]

الكتاب جيد ولكنه لا يغني عن بقية الكتب ولا يأتي بأفكار جديدة في غالبه

[Azul · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب يتحدث عن اواصر العلاقة الصحية بين الزوجين
الأفكار مكررة فالكتاب بعض الشيء

[Ahmed · Rating 2 out of 5]

كتاب بسيط و افكاره سطحيه الى حد كبير
لا يناقش اى فكره بعمق

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice reminder with some fun exercises and things to think about in our daily interactions with our partners. Nothing too woo-woo-y, I liked how straightforward it was.

[Waheeb Mansoor · Rating 2 out of 5]

#كتاب #الزوجان_السعيدان
#بارتون_غولد_سميث

يعتبر #كتاب #الزوجان_السعيدان دليلاً عمليًّا لبناء #العلاقة_الزوجية. ويجد مبرره في الوجود عبر اعتناقه #فلسفة يسهل على القرَّاء تعرُّفها، على عكس #كتب #العلاقات_الزوجية الأخرى.

بذل #بارتون_غولد_سميث ، وهو طبيب نفساني ومؤلف، جهده للإحاطة بقائمة من الإرشادات والتمارين في أكثر من 20 موضوعًا لتقوية #العلاقة_الزوجية دون توريط القارئ بأي نظريات؛ مثل: #التواصل #الاعتراف #الاحتفال #المرح #التقبل #الارتباط #الصدق #الرعاية #التوازن #التكاتف ... إلخ.

يرتكز الكتاب على قاعدة رئيسية هي: أن الفرد، منذ نعومة أظفاره، يكتسب عادات سيئة تطبع بقية حياته، وأنه لا حل أمامه سوى الاعتراف بهذه العادات السيئة وبذل جهده من أجل تغييرها. لذا فإن مهمة هذا الكتاب هي إيجاد نمط حياة جديد من خلال التدرُّب على عادات حسنة بديلة لبناء علاقة زوجية ناجحة.

مرة أخرى، يبدو أن حصولك على كتاب في نسخ��ه الصوتية يمنحك فرصة الارتباط به بعدما فشل في إغرائك وهو على طاولات العرض أو رفوف المكتبة!

لا أتحمس بسهولة لكتب #العلاقات_الزوجية حيث أجد الكثير من أفكارها مكرورة وأحيانًا بطريقة مبتذلة. ويبدو أن كتاب #الزوجان_السعيدان من هذا القبيل. ولكن هذا لا يعني أنه بلا فائدة خصوصًا لمن لم يطلع على كثير من هذه الكتب.

في الحقيقة، بينما يرى الكتاب في طرحه المبسط جاذبية، أرى في بساطته نفورًا. ولكنه ينبغي أن استدرك بالقول: يكفي مثل هذه الكتب أن تحفزنا بين الفينة والأخرى لبذل المزيد في علاقاتنا الزوجية.

@waheebcom

[Chris Torretta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this. I think a lot of what is in here may be common sense but the sad thing about common sense is even if we know it, we may not use it! So, even the stuff I knew about, mainly good communication, was nice to read about because we all need reminders.

I also really liked the way he talks about working on the relationship. It's not like a relationship, any, can survive without some kind of work. But again, we forget that we need to put work into each other and wind up being into what we want, what we need, etc. It's about compromise and again, communication!

I love how he says that arguments can and will happen! We all know that relationships aren't perfect but do people really know that? As those love chemicals fade we start to think we're falling out of love and all it is is normality kicking in. There are things to keep those love chemicals rocking though, and that's what keeps a relationship happy and healthy.

My favorite part though, was about compromise:

"You are not giving up your independence here. Rather, you are aligning your soul with the soul you cherish and the person you love."

Overall, I will probably read this again as we all need reminders. And I love that I can read this to my hubby and give him reminders! ;)

[ZombieLMG · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I got a copy from First Reads but that doesn't affect my review.

In the introduction it suggests you read the chapters based on which ones you need to work on in your relationship most (communication, togetherness, etc.) but I just read it straight through in order.

I read it with my husband and we both felt that there was good advice in it for both of us and we even plan on doing some of the exercises listed. It's not five stars since a few of the chapters kind of repeat the same point over and over (particularly the humor chapter.)

There's a lot here but the chapters are relatively short and it's easy reading so convincing a reluctant husband to listen to a chapter here and there shouldn't be too hard.

Even if your relationship isn't struggling at all I'd still suggest reading this. It's easy to follow with good suggestions on simple things every couple will need reminded of at times.

[Pamela · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book for my "self-help" requirement of my reading challenge. I'm happy in a relationship right now and I wanted to pick up a book that would give me advice to keep it going strong.

"The Happy Couple" is divided into chapters that discuss themes with which couples might struggle: communication, thoughtfulness, etc. I thought the advice was wonderful but it was rather generic. There weren't a lot of examples of the problems that might come up, and the advice included "have a weekly date night," "don't bring up past grievances or lose your temper at your partner." I kind of figured that out myself.

I think this might be for couples who are in trouble, not for couples who have no major issues.

[Laura Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really suprising read. I read this after reading another self help on relationships... because who in any relationship is perfect... and I think I liked this more!

This gave not only the example of keeping a journal to write down your progress, but also things like taking a class together, cook a meal together, or even to have a date night once a week (though for me, once every 2 weeks might be more reasonable with his and my work schedules).

[Bri · Rating 3 out of 5]

**I got this in a Goodreads Giveaway**

This was a short but info packed book on how to help your relationship remain light hearted. Was full of realistic and usable advice. It's a book I think even single people would be able to use to either prepare for a relationship, learn your mistakes from your past relationships or even use some of the knowledge in friendships or family relationships (if you twist the techniques a bit)

[Linda M Rio · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am also a mental health professional and work with couples. Dr. Goldsmith's book is now in my office for couples to view and a recommended read. "The Happy Couple" seems ideal for new relationships and for those who are looking for a boost. I would not, however, recommend this for those in serious trouble or in the midst of a crisis. In the latter cases seeking professional help would be most advised. I applaud Dr. Goldsmith on yet another outstanding work!

[Nelya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book through goodreads giveaways.

This book is a great guide for couples who are striving for a more successful relationship. What I like about this book is that it is straight to the point and includes lots of great exercises and as long as you adhere to them, you will see results. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for help in improving relationships with their significant others.

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book from net galley in exchange for an honest review.

this book was a pretty quick read, but I found it to be a wordy at times. I found some of the suggestions to be common sense. I did like how he gave an example of how conversations should go and the steps to take in order to get there. I will definitely be implementing a strategy or two in my relationship!

[Suzanne Marble · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great for people who are having problem with relationships but for me and my husband we found it quite repetitive. We passed it onto a friend who could use it and it seems to have made them happier.

[Debbie Carnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some times life gets in the way of love and we forget to be grateful for the loving partners in our lives.

[Tracee · Rating 3 out of 5]

No secrets here, pretty routine stuff. Good reminders, though, about not taking your loved one for granted and taking time to do something special to show you care.

[Cassie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book offers great activities to become closer to your significant other.