Adventures with Max and Louise

by Ellyn Oaksmith

This novel was originally published as an e-book in 2011 under the title Knockers.

If you like Sophie Kinsella, Meg Cabot, and Liza Palmer, you'll love Ellyn Oaksmith!

Molly Gallagher does not like to be the center of attention. As the mysterious Diner X, her pseudonym for a restaurant review column, she thrives on blending in. But before you can say "medical malpractice," she wakes up from a routine procedure to find that her chart got switched with someone else's, and now her A cup runneth over.

Suddenly, unassuming Molly is turning heads wherever she goes. The man she's been pining for since high school is sitting up and taking notice, a very handsome stranger has captured her attention, and her lifelong dream of publishing a cookbook is about to come true. But Molly feels like an imposter. Will some advice from a very strange place help her figure out how to navigate her new, full-figured world?

Molly realizes her revamped shape might change her life. She just doesn't anticipate quite how much . . .

Genres: Romance, Chick Lit, Fiction

448 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 21, 2011

About the author

Ellyn Oaksmith is the USA Today and Kindle bestselling author of the Blue Hills Vineyard Series, featuring the Alvarez family. The books are set in gorgeous Lake Chelan, in the Pacific Northwest. The series includes Summer at Orchard House (July 13th, 2020) and Promises at Indigo Bay, (September 15th, 2020.) In writing her first series, Ellyn chose a real setting with great meaning for her personally and a fictional family like her own, full of smart, independent, funny women and the men who love them.

After Ellyn funded her graduate studies at the American Film Institute by working on fishing boats in Alaska as cook, she began her writing adventure as a screenwriter in Hollywood. Writing, re-writing and pitching movies to producers and navigating the Los Angeles freeways before Google Maps was a challenge. Meeting movies stars was a surreal and fun perk.

After returning to her native Seattle, Ellyn's first romantic comedy in book form was published by Avon/Harper Collins. Four other romantic comedies with whip smart, ambitious heroines followed before Ellyn joined Bookouture to launch her first series.

She lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband and their polydactyl cat, Forest. Ellyn is an avid competitive rower.

Author website: www.EllynOaksmith.com
Facebook: @EllynOaksmith
Instagram: @EllynOaksmith

Reviews

[Lisarenee · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Synopsis:
'I subscribe to the domino theory of life. One bad choice or event triggers a chain of events that then lead to an explosion in one's life.'

We've all heard the horror stories of patients going under the surgeon's knife only to awaken to have the wrong limb or kidney removed. Well, in the time it took for Molly Gallagher to go under the knife, she woke up with something she didn't have before. Well, to be truly accurate, a couple of somethings she didn't have before--a pair of matching breasts. Now Molly was pretty happy with her body, perhaps not so much with her life, but that's another subject entirely. She'd gone in to get some work done by a plastic surgeon to remove some scars she acquired years ago and a breast augmentation was not on the table, but somehow the darn implants had found there way into her chest. She'd gone from flat to D in forty winks, and she wouldn't be able to get them removed for weeks while she recovered from her present surgery. She was stuck with the girls, well not exactly girls but a set of twins, one named Max and the other named Louise. Molly's adventures with Max and Louise were just about to begin, and her life would never be the same.

'There is no way to describe how absolutely terrifying it is to wake up with an additional body part. Like Frankentein; no, Frankenstein's stripper. I have breast implants!'

My Thoughts:

This was such a fun book. I was laughing and giggling so much I think I've discovered a new way to tighten your stomach muscles. Find a funny book, read, repeat. lol!

Molly is the girl next door type person. Her career is successful enough that she could get a place of her own, but she still lives with her father and feels the need to take care of him. Her mother died when she was still in high school, and she's been looking out for him ever since. She's a food critic, and her column has been syndicated in seventy markets. She writes the column under the byline Diner X. She's smart and funny but extremely shy. While she's used to being the talk of the town as Diner X, being the talk herself, because of her implants, is rather unnerving. Imagine being the type of person to fade into the wood work only to now be unable to do that.

She soon discovers that not only has her cup size increased, but the amount of male attention she's receiving has as well. She ends up with two men vying for her attention. One is a guy she's had a crush on since high school, Chas, while the other is one she just met, Wolf. The two come from two very different backgrounds and are like night and day.

Wolf is an artist and is rather laid back. He has a loving family, and Molly and his mom get along wonderfully. The main problem with Wolf is that he isn't Chas. Molly hardly gives him a second glance.

Chas' family is rich and comes from a family who is rather distant. He's rather spoiled and is used to getting what he wants. He's not a very deep person, but he's fun and exciting and gorgeous.

Meanwhile the implants seem to be literally taking on a life of their own. Max and Louise, the names she's given her breasts, end up voicing their, or rather Molly's conscious thoughts. I felt Max represented her wilder side while Louise is more conservative and sensible. They made me laugh, and I liked the explanation for there existence at the end. We don't know all there is to know about Molly up front. It was almost like Max and Louise counterbalanced the weight of the guilt she bore on her shoulders from something in her past.

With the added attention Molly finds her confidence boosted. Both her professional and love lives seem to be improved by it. Of course we all know by the end Molly will need to make a choice about which guy is right for her and I absolutely loved the ending. I confess, however, I would have liked to have seen more Molly and Wolf time, and I kind of wish Wolf had been Molly's best friend instead of Martin.

Overall I gave this one 4 out of 5 roses. I really enjoyed the story. It was fun, hilarious, witty, and charming. I liked the contrast between Chas and Wolf and the zaniness of Max and Louise. I also adored how Molly grew as a person and how Wolf saw the real Molly. On the Lisarenee Romance Rating Scale, this one gets a BLUSH rating--at the beginning stages of romance where something is just starting to be stirred. I definitely look forward to reading more books by this author.

[Misty Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Afternoon Kindle-ites! Well, today I decided to take a break from the whole “I can’t remember my name” theme I’ve had going on and instead focus on boobs. That’s right…the ones you see directly to the left, the ones you are staring at instead of actually reading what I’m writing. *waves* Hi! Yes..ok, now that I’ve got your attention, let’s talk about “Knockers” by Ellyn Oaksmith.

“Knockers is about a young woman, Molly, who, through a surgical error receives unwanted breast implants. Furious, she schedules surgery to have them removed, only to find out that the implants begin talking to her. The implants, Max and Louise, give her great advice about her burgeoning love life although they rarely agree and are both highly opinionated and belligerent. Through Max and Louise, Molly learns to trust her own instincts and falls for the most unlikely of men. “

That’s right ladies and gentleman….Talking Boobs!!! Now, before you get all high and mighty on me and think I’ve completly lost my marbles for loving this book, let me explain to you why it was so freaking brilliant that I stayed up until 3am reading (and pointing and laughing) at it.

Who here has seen the movie “What’s Your Number?” (which is actually based on the book “20 Times a Lady” by Karyn Boznak…just FYI) If you have, you know the beauty of well placed humor. The chances of 2 relatively hot people shedding their skivvies and jumping into the Hudson River at midnight are slim to none, (no one wants to chance bacteria in the lady bits) but “reality” isn’t what matters in these scenarios…it’s the feeling the “made-up” experience provides you. Oaksmith adapted the same concept (delusional reality) and created an entire world around it.

Here is the thing, Molly (the lead) has some seriously deep-seeded issues, that (like most women) she keeps stuffed in her denial drawer. It’s not until a pretty funny (ok, maybe not so funny for her) accident at the plastic surgeon’s office, that these issues come to life. Literally. In the form of 2 talking breast implants.

I’ll admit, at first I was a little concerned that this book had jumped the shark, but the more I read the more it made sense. Molly needed help, and what better way to give it to her than to make her a tad insane. Her boobs (Max and Louise) added an outlet for Oaksmith to express Molly’s inner anxiety without wasting valuable space on monologues, and in taking the risk of the unconventional…she was able to create two very interesting and often funny characters without having to give them a past or even a future.

Like every good romantic comedy there are gobs of misunderstandings, lots of clumsiness and huge bouts of uneasiness, but lets be honest…those are the characteristics that drive stories like these, and as if that wasn’t enough, they characters were damn near perfect, in a very “we-are-a-screwed-up-bunch-wackos” way.

The only problem I had with this book, (and I’ve actually ganked an entire star away from it’s rating because of it) is the horrible editing. While the plot is fantastic, there are parts were I had to stop and re-read a sentence to understand what was trying to be said. For example:

“Instead I forced myself to I call Dr. Hupta’s office from the kitchen.”

These are easy to bump over, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be fixed. Immediately.

Despite the oopsies… it was a hilarious book that anyone in need of a good belly laugh would be wise to read. I’m certainly glad that I did.

Happy Reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: always bring a STABLE friend with you to the hospital…

[Carey Sabala · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Adventures of Max and Louise is a fun contemporary romance, it might actually even be more a romantic comedy, I can see it as a movie as well. So, first we have our heroine, a young wallflower of a woman, Molly Gallagher, whom goes in for a small cosmetic surgery to have some scars on her neck fixed and winds up with not only the scars fixed but also a boob job, which she never asked for. The doctor is horrified about the mix up but claims he can't take them out until her body has healed a for 8 weeks, then they can be removed. So she's stuck with her "D's" until then. At first she's completely horrified because she is a natural "A" and likes being a wallflower who blends in with the background. She actually makes money on it. You see, she's a restaurant critic and she has quiet the following under the guise of "Diner X". Part of her shtick, is that because she is so incognito, she is able to not only review the food but also get the restaurant gossip and drama that goes on behind the scenes. Originally her column was supposed to be a friend helping a friend out but it became so popular, that she writes/reviews fulltime and now has one of the most popular articles in the paper. Unfortunately though, with her new assets she draws more attention and can't hide any longer. While recovering from the surgery, her boss and one of two BFF's, ask her to go review a local restaurant. She agrees and ends up having a wonderful time. While there, she meets the owner, who ropes her into helping them as a food consultant and her son Wolf, who's a climbing fanatic and all around handyman for the restaurant. She also runs into her high school crush, Chas. He is the end-all-be-all for Molly and both men are showing interest in her. Molly quickly realizes that she is way out of her element and during her inner turmoil, she starts hearing voices, one male with a cockney accent and one female who is very definitely not her. At this point, hearing two different voices in her head, she believes she's going crazy but when they introduce themselves as her new implants, Max and Louise, and want to help her with her love life, all heck breaks loose.

I actually really enjoyed this read and so did my husband, believe it or not, LOL (it's probably because of Max and Louise) *wink*. Anywho, the story is told from Molly's POV. She definitely has some body issues that actually made me think about my own, in a more positive light. The story is very poignant to how some women are obsessed with image. The story itself was laugh out loud funny and totally unique. I will caution you though, you will have to put your brain on hiatus for a bit because remember, Max and Louise are talking ta-ta's but they do help move the story along and help our heroine boost her confidence to follow her heart. Absolutely recommend this for anyone who wants a light hearted, super funny, contemporary romance with talking ta-ta's.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adventures with Max and Louise is a comedic contemporary romance book about a woman (Molly) finding herself in a very unconventional way. This story is hilarious and I could definitely see this as a book adapted into a movie! Max and Louise are constantly "chattering" and advising Molly on decisions about life, men, wardrobe, and anything they can speak their mind about. The problem is that Max and Louise are not people.... But her breast implants!!

Molly is a food critique that has had two enormous opportunities fall into her lap. The first mishap would be that she went in for a cosmetic surgery to have scars removed from her chest and came out with double D's!! She now has to learn how to accept her new "assets" as gifts and live her life with her new "friends... Max and Louise." The second opportunity that came her way was becoming a published cookbook author with a PR representative from Hell.

Molly also happens to literally run into her high school crush and hopes to ignite a mutual love affair. Of course, a good writer will have more than one love interest vowing to win the lady's heart. This is where the book lost and hooked me all at the same time. On one hand there was Chas, the high school crush, and Wolf, the son of a restaurant owner. Chas is a typical rich kid born with a silver spoon in his mouth, pompous ass that wants what he wants at the moment and can move on to the next conquest at a moment's notice. Wolf is a down to Earth, laid back, could care less what people think about him type of guy that has a genuine interest in Molly. I kept running into a brick wall about 50% into this book with the hopes that Molly would choose Wolf and I could hear more of their story. To my disappointment, most of the book was about Molly trying to win Chas over and failing miserably at times. I think Adventures with Max and Louise would have kept my attention a little bit better if there were more Wolf and less Chas.

I give this book 3.5 stars on the knock my socks off scale. Adventures with Max and Louise was a good story. It had a comedic storyline with lovable characters. My only wish was that the story would have flown a little quicker. I loved the basis behind the story and the laugh-ability factor that it had, it just took too long for me personally to get to the end. I would still encourage book lovers to read this story. This is a well written book that gave me the giggles many times!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Adventures with Max and Louse is actually this book’s second title, as is posted everywhere. I’ll be the first to say I loved the old title and cover. Knockers, as it was called, was almost perfect. Almost. This new title is better, not in that knock you out and get you to click on the Amazon link way, but in the it really encompasses the story better way.

Molly Gallagher walks into a plastic surgeon for scar rescission surgery, and walks out with breast implants – a huge (pun intended) mistake on the part of the surgeon. For health reasons, Molly can’t get the implants removed right away, and has to live at least eight weeks without them. Of course, men being, well, men, she gains immediate interest from a couple. The first is her high school crush.

And who doesn’t relish this fantasy. Imagine, that boy you lusted after in high school, but barely noticed you (and would report you if you tried to friend him on Facebook) suddenly chasing you like you’re the best thing that’s happened to him since Gwyneth Paltrow. And even better, what if the rest of your dreams started to come true. This fantasy becomes a reality for Molly. She is a food critic, and budding cookbook writer. Suddenly her expertise is sought by a swanky restaurant. Plus her writing career is about to move to a whole new level.

As with most people, all this popularity and success if fraught with inner turmoil. Most people do a little navel gazing. Molly starts getting advice from her implants. Yes, the idea is a little campy. But the real deal is that she’s finally coming to grips with where she’s been, who she is, and who she wants to be.

Ellyn Oaksmith writes a fast-paced, fun book about coming into one’s own.

What I liked about the book:
I liked that Molly stayed true to herself. She didn’t have to lose weight or change to become desirable.

What I didn’t like about the book:
The ending. It was the most bizarre frolic and detour for an otherwise tightly written story. And I’m not one hundred percent convinced of the HEA.

Would I recommend this book?
I’d recommend this book to fans of chick lit, and light romance.

[Lisa Filipe · Rating 3 out of 5]

For my Tasty Readers who know me, they know I love a good, warm-hearted romance that when you are finished reading it, you have a huge smile on your face for a good hour. Well, that was how I felt after reading ADVENTURES WITH MAX AND LOUISE by Ellyn Oaksmith. Yes, the book is a bit more "Chick-lit" than classic "Romance", but with Ellyn's humorous storyline and a heroine who you could call a best friend, you have a winning combination.

Oh, Molly Gallagher, I found myself loving her from the start. She was hysterical, a bit on the serious side, and found no amusement in going in for a routine surgery and coming out with "Knockers", but she put on her big girl panties and dealt with it...and maybe had a bit more fun what she'd expected.

I only have one word to say....WOLF...Love him!! I love the unexpected hero, like Malone from Catch of the Day by Kristan Higgins. Wolf wasn't your "typical" hero, he wasn't the most handsome, he wasn't always the most elloquent speaker, but he told Molly how it was and helped her more than he will ever know...Oh Wolf...love him!!

As for the secondary characters, and yes, I will included Max and Louise in with everyone else, since they made the book laugh-out-loud funny, were all wonderful...well, except for Chas...he was a douche...well played Ms. Oaksmith...well played.

If you are looking for an enjoyable read about a woman who discovers who she was always meant to be, it just took a few "Cup-Sizes" to get there!!

[Corina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this based on the reviews. I normally would not buy a title with this name or with this cover. However, I'm glad I did get it. I enjoyed it. It is a great mix of humor, romance, and food for thought.

Molly goes into the hospital for plastic surgery to remove scar tissue on her neck and chest from injuries suffered in a car accident. Her friend accompanies her to the day surgery and proceeds to faint. The confusion results in the wrong chart being placed on Molly's bed which results in her waking up in the recovery room to find she has been given breast implants...very large ones. The error cannot be corrected right away. It has to go before a review board which will take about 8 weeks. In the meantime, Molly has to live with her new chest and all the perks and problems it brings.

It's not all bad. The new physique brings new opportunities for Molly and several chances for bigger changes in her life.

I really enjoyed this and will look for more work from this author. One thing that can be improved is the errors. Lots and lots of them as the book progresses. Silly errors where there is either an extra word in the sentence or a word missing. There are also a few instances where the times don't really synchronize and distract from the storyline but not enough to ruin the work as a whole.

[Jane Stewart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weak 3 stars. It has a chick lit feel with a romantic ending.

It’s supposed to be humorous, which I am sure is funny for some, but it just didn’t work for me. I did not laugh. For example, Molly is accidentally given two size D breast implants. They have names and talk to her. One is Max a British guy. The other is Louise is an opinionated black woman. They give her advice as to what to say to guys, etc. When Molly talks back to Max and Louise, others nearby think she is talking to herself. Another situation: Molly has an emergency and needs to get somewhere fast. But her sister is a slow driver, so Molly is frustrated during the drive.

Molly had a crush on Chas for years. So when he finally asks her out, why does she overdrink on their first two dates resulting in poor judgment, accidents, and passing out? I saw this as kind of stupid. It was probably meant to be frustratingly funny, but it wasn’t funny for me.

DATA:
Narrative mode: 1st person Molly. Story length: 441 pages. Swearing language: strong including religious swear words. Sexual language: none. No sex scenes, although a couple are begun and then interrupted. Setting: current day Seattle, Washington, Mt. Rainier, and Alaska. Copyright: 2011. Genre: chick lit with romance.

This book was originally published in 2011 under the title Knockers.

[Ellyn Oaksmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having just edited Knockers I realized a few things: it has a lot of energy and a spirit of fun about it that I really enjoyed. And two: yes, the reviewers were right, it needed a lot of cleaning up. Knockers has been an incredible journey that's taught me: don't assume you can throw something up on Amazon.com and nothing will happen because just when you've given up on your dreams -- they happen in the most unexpected way. So yes, it's cleaned up and ready to be enjoyed. Secondly, it's taught me that people who take the time to review my work are AWESOME. Even the ones that complained about things I couldn't change-- I needed to hear all of it. If I didn't agree -- then at least I heard their point of view and knew what they were thinking. I felt all of you behind me as a re-visited Knockers. That being said, I was impressed with the pacing of the book and the characters, who still felt very real and fresh to me.

Although it's odd to review my own book, I have to say it was fun going over Knockers and reading it. And now I'm ready to work on something entirely new.

[Ellyn Oaksmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is the difference between this edition, by Harper Collins and my self published edition? It's like seeing a sweater that I knit and carefully labored over. It was a fine sweater that many admired. But it had a handknit quality and not in the good handcrafted sense -- in the loose thread, slightly shaggy sense. Then a designer came along and took my exact sweater and with her keener, more experienced eye, took that sweater to a whole new level.

Okay, sick of the sweater analogy. My point is that Adventures With Max and Louise is the same fun, poignant story about taking care of oneself that I set out to write. Thanks to Harper Collins it's acquired a sleeker shape and a more finely tuned and crafted whole. When I held the paperback in my hand -- well, as my friends on Facebook will attest, it was a great, great moment.

I hope you enjoy the book. It's been a lot of fun for me.

[Melissa Summers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Identity confusion leads to Molly awakening from scar removal surgery with a brand new set of breasts. Not only is she not pleased but she discovers that they have personalities all their own. Talking implants? Too ridiculous to put down!

I purchased this book from Amazon for Kindle for $0.99.
Speech/Lending enabled.

[Maryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellyn Oaksmith delves into the "what ifs" and almost makes you believe that implants can talk. Is it just her imagination? Or is her life truly led by this accident of medicine? It's a fun romp through the Pacific Northwest and Alaska. A must read for the young at heart. A great first effort. I hope we see more from this author.

[Emily Vogt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't even remember how I came across this book on the Kindle's store but found the premiss creative. Its a fun, easy read - even though parts were a bit predictable. Perfect summer read - and the cost was right: 99 cents!

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, found my self really laughing in some places, rather predictable story line IMO but I still enjoyed it

[Shefronia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny story

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good laugh, but who wouldnt want to be in her situation???? ME ME ME

[Archer · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was a fun book.

[Cathie Coulter · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy, quick and fun read. A little predictable in one sense, but certainly an interesting and novel story-line for a book. Enjoyed it immensely.

[Tamsin · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Paul Olkowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got a free e- book copy of Knockers some time ago . It sat in my library in my Kindle until I had come across it a few weeks ago. I initially thought this would be a rowdy somewhat explicit fun filled romp of a book, but to my dismay it is a mild rather run of the mill romantic comedy that really isn't funny at all. The first chapter of the book showed great promise when a woman was caught up in a surgical mix up and received a set of D cup boobs by accident . She was suppose to get scar tissue removed from a previous operation A few chapters after, deal with her getting a new wardrobe that will fit her new figure and then her boobs start talking to her and offering help and opinions. This is where the book was to get funny ,but it failed. She meets a guy ,the son of a client and has great lust for an ex schoolmate where the rest of the book glides to a very predictable end.
I was disappointed in this book. It held great promise as a true comedy but took the very safe road to a harlequin romance. Instead of being a bawdy comedy it became something a Catholic grade school 13 year old could read without hardly a reservation of any kind.
The book is well written and reads easily with decent dialogue, but it isn't what I expected. The writing and dialogue did rescue the score however. 3.5 ot of 5 for KNOCKERS

[Cecilie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a good book, and I got hooked, but,it were confusing, you meet lots of characters you don't need to know, and get lots of information about them, but you meet them once.
And the characters you need to know, I don't think we meet enough.
I were confused about were this book was going and where it would end. And I hoped over some parts because I got confused about why we needed to know this.

But a cute story, little confused about how it is set up, and I would have loved some more time With Wolf, he is in my mind an important and interesting person in this book, and we hardly meet him.

[Beth Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fun read! Medical mistake, shy hermit-ish girl has a chance to get a date with her high school crush. She is also being guided by Max and Louise, the voices of her breast implants (the medical mistake). I can't go on as I would be getting into spoiler territory. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

[Megan Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read

This book started out with surgery gone wrong. It was funny and very emotional. This book turned into something so much more. It brings to light about dealing with grief and letting go. So worth reading.

[Christina Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be completely honest I was board

[CANDACE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

I was so mad through 3/4 of this book because she was chasing Chas. The whole time I thought Wolf was a better fit. Great book.

[Michelle v · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read

It is a very amusing rom-com. The main character is a true mess at the beginning and has to work her way through hilarious situations.

[Savanna Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. It was was cute, refreshing, and at oftentimes lol funny. If you need a good laugh with a dose of romance, I definitely recommend.

[Natasha Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a lot of things that didn't make sense. And a lot of spelling errors.

[❤️ Happy Flower ❤️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not for me

[Marjorie Law · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, funny and very different. A fresh read.