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Be Nice or Else!: And What's in It for You
Congratulations! You're about to join the planet's largest celebration of Be Nice! This exquisitely irresistible and highly practical guide shows you how to start your own be nice revolution at home, at work, and even with total strangers. You work hard at so many things-getting ahead, being successful, and even feeling happy. As it turns out, being nice is the one to absolutely guarantee a life you love. Besides, being nice is easy, and the rewards are immeasurable.
- GenresSelf HelpNonfiction
203 pages, Hardcover
First published June 30, 2004
24 people are currently reading
207 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
December 22, 2016
Okay, so this book took me about 50 days to read, and let me tell you how tedious it was. In the beginning, it was all right. I didn't find myself very wanting to pick this book up, Winn spoke through his novel like I was already a horrible person and that I absolutely need to work on being more nice, it sometimes felt a bit more condescending. Throughout this novel, it was very repetitive. Granted it's a 'motivational' book about being nice, it's a circular theme. Everything comes back to you being polite and considerate and kind. Some of these chapters were so long winded, and sometimes the point of each paragraph was so spaced between I had to go back again to understand what I was trying to read, that I had to stop in the middle to absorb everything I had read before it gave me a pounding headache because he kept screaming to be nice Be Nice BE NICE! I personally believe some chapters and anecdotes were a tad bit unnecessary as he kept covering the same things over and over again. It was sometimes tiresome to endure and I wouldn't pick it up for days at a time. This is a decent book, but if you don't work in an office setting you really don't seriously need to study some (or most) of these chapters. I understand that the devil inside of you may come out while you're driving and if you grab a nasty case of road rage, but one thing Winn didn't really cover is when it's okay to be negative. You can't go through your whole entire life not being sad or angry, we need to be allowed to feel these emotions too. We are entitled to ourselves and our feelings. He said it's fantastic to have a buddy system where you can vent and they listen, but what if just talking about it isn't enough for you? What if it doesn't justify how much you are feeling? I'm not saying to go right ahead and beat up someone or to throw a vase against a wall if you're feeling heated, but what other therapeutic options may we get? What about rough sports or other things that drain our vigorous feelings that we may feel with our whole body? Where are our options? He only suggested one, and one size does not fit all.
Another thing that bothers me is how he suggested that violence is awful and bad and how we should excommunicate all violent and negative things out of our lives. I understand violence is not fantastic and I am not condoning acts of violence, however; in our, in this age, it is almost physically impossible because there is always violence, there is violence everywhere. In the news, in movies, television shows, books, magazines, posters, advertisements. We can't get rid of all of these things? I'm not going to stop watching the news or stop reading books and watching their subsequent movies just because they contain violence. We can't take all of this out of our lives. Violence, false violence, is thrilling and dangerous. Watching a movie and cringing and 'ooooooo'-ing at it may help someone unwind from a day of stress. Watching The Walking Dead or The 100 or the Hunger Games is nice, it's fun to do. We may be growing immunity to violence, but is it really so terrible when it's false? We aren't applying that to our daily lives or to the people we love and care about. We're relaxing with an interesting tv show or movie after a long week of work and couch cuddling and snacking with our loved ones. I don't see why we should be getting rid of it just because it's violent. I'm not going to become one of the false people in the movie and recreate a hunger games. That's absurd and illegal and ridiculous. I don't carry it around with me wherever I go. We may becoming more immune to violence because we see it everywhere and every day, but that doesn't mean we're going to be turning it into our lives as saying it's okay to beat this cashier up because they were snappy and crude with us when we were checking out our bag of chips and water bottle. We know what humane decency is, and though there are rude people out and about, we can still choose to ignore it and be polite.
Another thing that bothers me is how he suggested that violence is awful and bad and how we should excommunicate all violent and negative things out of our lives. I understand violence is not fantastic and I am not condoning acts of violence, however; in our, in this age, it is almost physically impossible because there is always violence, there is violence everywhere. In the news, in movies, television shows, books, magazines, posters, advertisements. We can't get rid of all of these things? I'm not going to stop watching the news or stop reading books and watching their subsequent movies just because they contain violence. We can't take all of this out of our lives. Violence, false violence, is thrilling and dangerous. Watching a movie and cringing and 'ooooooo'-ing at it may help someone unwind from a day of stress. Watching The Walking Dead or The 100 or the Hunger Games is nice, it's fun to do. We may be growing immunity to violence, but is it really so terrible when it's false? We aren't applying that to our daily lives or to the people we love and care about. We're relaxing with an interesting tv show or movie after a long week of work and couch cuddling and snacking with our loved ones. I don't see why we should be getting rid of it just because it's violent. I'm not going to become one of the false people in the movie and recreate a hunger games. That's absurd and illegal and ridiculous. I don't carry it around with me wherever I go. We may becoming more immune to violence because we see it everywhere and every day, but that doesn't mean we're going to be turning it into our lives as saying it's okay to beat this cashier up because they were snappy and crude with us when we were checking out our bag of chips and water bottle. We know what humane decency is, and though there are rude people out and about, we can still choose to ignore it and be polite.
February 20, 2014
Don't waste your time reading this book.
February 6, 2025
3.5 stars--there were some good thoughts in here, and I appreciated many of the author's viewpoints. Some were a bit over the top.
October 24, 2013
This book has some good ideas that will work for everyone, but would probably be more effective as a lecture because Claybaugh writes in a speaking voice rather than a written voice. The first few chapters have the impression that the author assumes you are not a nice person to begin with (which is a little rough reading), but chapters such as "How to be nice at work" get to points that already nice people can use.
Largely, Claybaugh presents a nice philosophy but for the non-reader or casual reader of self-help this book may not work. It was recommended to me by someone in the Paul Mitchell system, where this philosophy works very well. If the first few chapters don't work for you, skip ahead before giving up on it.
Largely, Claybaugh presents a nice philosophy but for the non-reader or casual reader of self-help this book may not work. It was recommended to me by someone in the Paul Mitchell system, where this philosophy works very well. If the first few chapters don't work for you, skip ahead before giving up on it.
January 9, 2009
I must say that I find Winn Claybaugh, the author of this book and the Dean of Paul Mitchell schools, to be creepy as all get out. Youtube his name, watch the video, and then tell me he's NOT creepy. I find his entire approach at writing and presenting to be passive-aggressive, greasy and condescending. This book is full of info we've all read before, just worded differently. If corporate culture is your "thing", you might like it. Winn really knows how to put the cult back in cult-ure. He even looks like a cult leader. Not even a good one. :shiver:
February 3, 2017
It was a pretty good book but extremely repetitive. I feel if I only read half or even 2 chapters of it, I would have gotten just as much out of the book as I did when I read the whole thing.
This book is not one I would recommend, unless the person who will be reading it, needs things to be repeated to them continuously.
This book is not one I would recommend, unless the person who will be reading it, needs things to be repeated to them continuously.
July 3, 2008
My Uncle Winn wrote this book! He tells it like it is, but in a way that is entertaining. He has a lot of great advice and offers simple day-to-day application of his philosophy.
February 16, 2013
This book insulted my intelligence. His tone is condescending and he is redundant. Don't waste your time reading this.
January 28, 2016
ولو أن به بعض الأفكار الجميلة القابلة للتطبيق،،،
لكنه يظل كتابا (( سطحيا )) يحوم حول فكرة
واحدة وهي... الاتصاف باللطافة في كل تصرفاتك...
وتظل ~ جرير~ سيئة في الترجمة...
لكنه يظل كتابا (( سطحيا )) يحوم حول فكرة
واحدة وهي... الاتصاف باللطافة في كل تصرفاتك...
وتظل ~ جرير~ سيئة في الترجمة...
February 15, 2020
Good advice but I don’t love how he writes
September 10, 2017
Mr. Winn Claybaugh is the Co-Founder, Co-Owner, and Dean of Paul Mitchell The School.
That's how I was introduced to him and when I first read this book: as a student of the 1600-hour (recorded with a time clock!) PMTS Cosmetology Program. Sure, my beauty school experience commenced almost a decade ago and yes, this admission makes me feel old, but the wisdom is still as pertinent as ever. Plus, Winn is hilarious and the way he presents the material is funny and enjoyable.
This book has a simple, no-nonsense, straightforward approach to incorporating more kindness into your life. It talks about the benefits of demonstrating compassion (starting with showing more of it to yourself!) as well as the measurable detriments of being snarky. It introduces the concept of the "W.I.I.F.M." (What's In It For Me?) and features great suggestions for coping with less-than-pleasant attitudes from others -- one of my favorites being, get yourself a Bitch Buddy (aka, have one designated person with whom you have an open-ended, mutually permissible agreement to listen to each other's rant sessions, thereby sparing the rest of humanity from having to listen to you complain).
The first time I read Winn's book, I had not yet joined Facebook -- MySpace was still relevant at the time. It was actually a recent FB exchange that inspired me to pick up this book again. I think many of us could stand to take a refresher course in being nice. Everyone can feel free to speak their mind and have different opinions and disagree, and if we keep the concept of being nice at the forefront of our minds, that process can yield happily co-existing diverse opinions instead of a series of caustic retorts. Give me spirited debates, by all means, but hold off on the snark factor.
Being nice makes everyone feel happier, and dare I say, the world a better place to live in. On the eve of the anniversary of one of the darkest days our country has ever seen --September 11 -- I think there is great merit in being living, breathing examples of this wonderful philosophy.
That's how I was introduced to him and when I first read this book: as a student of the 1600-hour (recorded with a time clock!) PMTS Cosmetology Program. Sure, my beauty school experience commenced almost a decade ago and yes, this admission makes me feel old, but the wisdom is still as pertinent as ever. Plus, Winn is hilarious and the way he presents the material is funny and enjoyable.
This book has a simple, no-nonsense, straightforward approach to incorporating more kindness into your life. It talks about the benefits of demonstrating compassion (starting with showing more of it to yourself!) as well as the measurable detriments of being snarky. It introduces the concept of the "W.I.I.F.M." (What's In It For Me?) and features great suggestions for coping with less-than-pleasant attitudes from others -- one of my favorites being, get yourself a Bitch Buddy (aka, have one designated person with whom you have an open-ended, mutually permissible agreement to listen to each other's rant sessions, thereby sparing the rest of humanity from having to listen to you complain).
The first time I read Winn's book, I had not yet joined Facebook -- MySpace was still relevant at the time. It was actually a recent FB exchange that inspired me to pick up this book again. I think many of us could stand to take a refresher course in being nice. Everyone can feel free to speak their mind and have different opinions and disagree, and if we keep the concept of being nice at the forefront of our minds, that process can yield happily co-existing diverse opinions instead of a series of caustic retorts. Give me spirited debates, by all means, but hold off on the snark factor.
Being nice makes everyone feel happier, and dare I say, the world a better place to live in. On the eve of the anniversary of one of the darkest days our country has ever seen --September 11 -- I think there is great merit in being living, breathing examples of this wonderful philosophy.
January 17, 2019
This book in some ways does come across as common sense but there are pieces of invaluable wisdom tucked in, and thinks that you may believe but don’t piece together why.
A lighthearted and important read, I think middle schoolers should be handed such a book, and parents should share principles of such with their children. The home play pieces are nice and I did like those.
In some regards it does drag along a bit, but upon reading you’ll find little pieces of interest and wisdom along the way to keep you going.
3.75 stars.
A lighthearted and important read, I think middle schoolers should be handed such a book, and parents should share principles of such with their children. The home play pieces are nice and I did like those.
In some regards it does drag along a bit, but upon reading you’ll find little pieces of interest and wisdom along the way to keep you going.
3.75 stars.
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January 22, 2024I came across "Be Nice (Or Else!): and what's in it for you" at a local used-book store and was instantly drawn in by its title.
While the book does have a valuable message, I personally found it to be filled with unnecessary content. As such, I would not recommend it to those seeking a deep exploration of kindness.
While the book does have a valuable message, I personally found it to be filled with unnecessary content. As such, I would not recommend it to those seeking a deep exploration of kindness.
July 3, 2019
The title says it all and it’s true and so important to be nice no matter what or fake it. It’s powerful book and a must read I highly recommend it for your everyday life for work or at home or whatever & whenever it is for.
December 2, 2016
Even if you think you are a nice person, this book is so worth the read (we could all be nicer!). Winn is funny and spot on!
November 20, 2020
A solid getting back to basics book on being a good person. Winn offers solid examples and authentic stories from his experience.
December 3, 2025
Had to read it for school, just not my type of book so I found it hard to get through.
September 1, 2020
This book was a neat list of tips of tricks to be a nicer person. It's cons were it repeated things as the book stretched on. The content felt mediocre with fluff in between. I found it very boring. The most interesting thing is how most of the stories he provides are about hair salons.
October 18, 2021
Would not recommend.
May 30, 2008
Inspiring, fun, and encouraging. The ideas in this book could foster positive transformation of workplaces, neighborhoods, and beyond....if more people read this book and integrate Claybaugh's recommendations into their day-to-day lives. The author is a tremendous optimist, not only in theory, but also he puts his hope into action by treating others nicely. Enjoy!
January 19, 2012
I loved this book, still do, refer to it all the time. This is a motivational guide for keeping your chin up, and moving forward with goals, regardless of opposition and/or challenges. I was assigned this book as required reading when I started beauty school, and it has been a wonderful source of inspiration and hope for the past year.
October 15, 2015
Change the world forever by adding "nice" to whatever you do in careers, relationships and life. I don't believe in a "dog eat dog" mentality. I love dogs, but I am not a "dog!" This book is one of the best gifts I have ever received! I highly recommend it.
May 18, 2010
This book was interesting-I liked how it discusses removing negative influences from your life-I'm sure that has such an impact on people's niceness! I wish less of the book had had a business emphasis-I didn't feel like that much of it applied to me, though I'm sure the author would disagree.
Currently reading
February 21, 2008The author of this book came to an all-day staff meeting as a guest lecturer. He was hilarious. We were each given his book, and he signed mine. It has great advice in it.
March 10, 2010
Having met and talked to Winn, I enjoyed this book more than I would've otherwise. It is a good book that mirrors the Paul Mitchell School teachings and that is probably why I enjoyed it so much.
September 24, 2010
it's from the best books I have ever read ..
it has a nice ideas to make you more nicer <3
really good book for those people who want to improve themselves :)
it has a nice ideas to make you more nicer <3
really good book for those people who want to improve themselves :)
December 30, 2014
كتاب جميل بسيط يرشدك الى أساليب اللطف في حياتك
April 6, 2015
A practical, corporate approach to embracing a grateful and generous attitude.
August 1, 2016
قرات الكتاب بالعربية وهو من نشر مكتبة جرير
لكني استغرب من عدم وجود تلك النسخة -أو أي نسخة أخرى- في قود ريدز!
لكني استغرب من عدم وجود تلك النسخة -أو أي نسخة أخرى- في قود ريدز!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews