The Woman Who Cut Off Her Leg at the Maidstone Club and Other Stories

by Julia Slavin

In her debut collection, Julia Slavin conjures a world that is both familiar and limitless, where amidst our ordinary lives the banal and the unimaginable brush up against one another with startling grace and ease. From a lovelorn woman who sprouts teeth all over her body, to a man who literally falls to pieces, The Woman Who Cut Off Her Leg at the Maidstone Club is an inspiring work of the imagination, and a satiric and piercing look at the soul.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published July 6, 1999

About the author

Julia Slavin's stories have won a Pushcart Prize and GQ's coveted Frederick Exley Fiction Competition. She worked for a decade as an ABC-TV producer in New York before moving to Washington, D.C., where she lives with her husband. She is currently at work on a novel.

Reviews

[MJ Nicholls · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am here in my Glasgow lair, on this pleasant February night, snug in bed with a bag of marshmallows, a pint of apple and mango sparkling water, and the mellow sounds of Holly Golightly’s 1995 LP The Main Attraction in my earholes. I am in the mood to review Julia Slavin’s 1999 collection. You are sitting in your offices and apartments desperate to hear MJ pronounce on these twelve warm-hearted and surreal tales, perhaps several of you have been awaiting this review for years, checking the Slavin-feeds hoping that MJ might mention ‘Swallowed Whole’, a brave opening story where a swallowed teenager has sex with a woman’s innards, or ‘Dentaphilia’, first read in The Burned Children of America, where a woman sprouts teeth across her body and intimate regions, or ‘Painting House’, about an incestuous relationship, or ‘Blighted’, featuring a mad agoraphobic’s husband and his tree-loving neighbour. Your time for waiting is over. This collection uses surreal elements to achieve emotional payoffs (a technique that I was instructed to use so people might publish me), and sometimes shows satirical teeth as in the hilarious ‘Babyproofing’, and for fans of the Saunders school of no-nonsense sentences and madcap humour with a moral conscience, this small hardback will suffice. Slavin has published one novel and nothing else since 2006. The time to end this review has come. I am heading out for a long night of limbo dancing and opium smoking. Until next time.

[Zak · Rating 4 out of 5]

(3.75*) To me there are two broad categories of weird fiction. One is anchored largely on reality while relying on inexplicable circumstances or actions of its protagonists to imbue in the reader a sense of unease, suspense or dread. The other is based on 'unreality' and relies more on bizarre factors to provide shock value. This collection skews more towards the latter, with examples like a woman who swallows her gardener whole and who then lives inside her, another woman cutting off her leg (I can't even remember the reason but it's done in a nonchalant way as if it's no big deal) and a married woman's lover whose body parts fall off intermittently (with no inclination on their part to seek any form of medical help). To be fair, the book was still an intriguing read but after reading through, I've decided that I actually prefer stories that fall in the first category.

[Carmine R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ai confini del grottesco

"Carlsbad si accorse di Maisie mentre si chinava a raccogliere la pallina. "Ciao, Maisie. Vedo che ti stai tagliando via un piede, eh?"

"Sogno che la bambina cade dalla finestra del secondo piano. Riuscirebbe a prenderla al volo se solo ce la facesse a uscire di casa, ma qualcosa la afferra per le caviglie. Un'enorme chela di aragosta la tira giù, dentro il pavimento, sotto le fondamenta, e a quel punto a forza di scossoni lei si sveglia. Sono io che la tengo per le caviglie, che la tengo giù. Quella chela sono io, vero?"

Il filo conduttore di queste storie è la descrizione di un rapporto sentimentale disturbato; l'interferenza del surreale, inoltre, quasi mai causa scatenante, contorna le vicende di tratteggi quasi disforici.
Raccolta di racconti che nella sua atipicità trasuda un certo divertimento, ancorché la bontà delle idee e in generale il loro sviluppo non risulti costante.

Rapida panoramica sui racconti:

- Ingoiato (manuale sul come avere un amante dentro al proprio corpo) 4.5☆

- A prova di bambino (affidarsi a Bimbi Sicuri S.P.A. garantisce una casa scevra da pericoli: provare per credere) 3.5☆

- Odontofilia (ovvero come portare avanti una relazione “calcificata” sino alle fondamenta) 3☆

- La donna che si tagliò la gamba al Maidstone Club (la purezza del sangue Haselkorn contaminata dal sangue Loeb: scarsa resistenza agli insetti) 3.5☆

- Coperto (è bello avere una coperta capace di strisciare e seguirti; odora persino di orina e caprifoglio) 3.5☆

- Bella e Bruto (Stan, Gil e Bella in gita/fuga verso il nord, tra gas esilarante e rigurgitate di cheeseburger) 2☆

- Al sangue (ragazza con il maglione giallo appoggiata al bancone di un grill: colpo di fulmine e batticuore) 2.5☆

- Budino (macchia indelebile sul pavimento; famiglia frizzantina, tra gonorrea e corsi di pronto soccorso) 2.5☆

- La vita degli invertebrati (acquistare un'aragosta gigante per salvarle la vita: avventure allo zoo) 3☆

- Deperimento (contesa tra vicini per una quercia, che nel tempo libero ricopre il ruolo di amante per la protagonista) 3☆

- Imbiancare casa (Fratellastro e sorellastra in un altalenante rapporto di amore e scoperta) 3.5☆

- Cade a pezzi (Donna vantante una rampante carriera nel settore pubblicitario si barcamena in una storia di coppia ove la controparte perde, letteralmente, i pezzi) 4☆

[Abi Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

The weirdest short story collection I've ever read. In the world of these stories, it's possible to swallow a teenager whole (and then have an affair with him while he lives inside you), to grow teeth all over your body (and then have an affair with your obsessive dentist), and for all your lover's limbs to fall off (it's okay, you are still having an affair with him). So yeah, I had lots of "what the hell am I reading" moments with this one, but, at the end of the day, I was highly entertained.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent strange stories—reminds me of Kelly Link or Briar Ripley Page.
Favorites:
"Swallowed Whole"
"Dentaphilia"
"The Woman Who Cut Off Her Leg at the Maidstone Club"
"Pudding"
"Lives of the Invertebrates"
"Blighted"
"He Came Apart"

[Kevin Groosalugg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many of Julia Slavin's stories are like Shel Silverstein poems for adults, crazy over-the top tales of women eating people and having the eaten people live inside of them or people who grow teeth all over their bodies....and these are quirky, interesting and a little funny. But the best ones in this collection are the open ended glimpses into people's lives like "Rare is a cold red center' , which is probably my favorite. "Blighted" is a little crazy but very good also. This is an insanely quick read and a nice change of pace book if you are looking for some light fun reading.

[Skye · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book full of truly weird stories. After hearing a description of one of the stories, my dad said to me, "I never thought I'd say this, but if you need something more mainstream to read I have a copy of William Gibson's latest." I love this book and recommend it highly to anyone with an appreciation of the odd.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was my introduction to magical realism or fantastical fiction or experimental short stories or whatever you want to call it. I didn't know any of these terms when I read this collection, just knew I liked the book.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Moving. Imaginative. Everything I want a short story collection to be.

[La Blackwood]

#Contiene...
• "Ingoiato"
• "A prova di bambino"
• "Odontofilia"
• "La donna che si tagliò la gamba al Maidstone Club"
• "Coperto"
• "Bella e Bruto"
• "Al sangue"
• "Budino"
• "La vita degli invertebrati"
• "Deperimento"
• "Imbiancare casa"
• "Cade a pezzi"

[Ben Haines]

Reminded me of we show what we have learned. Similar surreal situations with body horror type stuff. Leans harder into being explicit and physical. Liked it ok, the cook in a restaurant, teeth woman, disappearing boyfriend.

[Valentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this collection for Slavin's imagination and complex characters. The humor throughout is a wonderful addition to the strange situations.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Weird, creepy stories that somehow felt oddly relatable. I loved them

[Mmmmm Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

** review for Dentaphilia**

[Claire Zechiel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Grabbed this from the library because of the exciting title. Like most collections of short stories, some were good and others were bad. I really like Pudding. Most others fell kind of flat.

[CH Keyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fiction is about exceptions, what is not in the norm. Julia Slavin’s “The Woman Who Cut off her Leg at the Maidstone Club” is a fantastic work of short fiction that does a great job of stepping outside the norm. Slavin creates a duplicitous world where its characters live in a safe but materialistic atmosphere and where their insipidly cheerful surfaces conceal a secret life of digression and infidelities.
One device that jumps out at me is her use of odd names. The woman who is cutting her leg off is named Maisie, a name I would not attribute to a high society dame. Other names at Pasty Plugh, Skimpy, Fuzzy and Electra emphasize the tongue-in-cheek poking that Slavin does at high society in general.
Slavin goes on to detail a love affair, from its start to finish, in abnormal details that are delightful. From Ben’s assurance to Maisie that he is spending the night with her to his eventual defection to the lure of coveted property, to the women of the high society understanding and sympathizing with Maisie’s loss of her lover, details are doled out in snippets of off-hand information. For example, “Watching Maisie bend to scratch a welt behind her knee, just as she herself has scratched thirty-two years before, Electra knew Ben Loeb was all through her daughter like an infection (57)”. This offhand confession of her own affair in her youth is surprising and helps to create sympathy between characters and somehow provides a bit of like-ability in the snobbish upper-class character. It is as if they all conspire to support Maisie by not acknowledging her affair, her lover or her loss of love.
The tone of the piece is satirical. Satire is found in the sexual relief that the high born women find only in the despised pitiful common people. And that when that love is gone, they share a common grief: “It is a cry that cannot be mistaken for anything other than the death song of a woman who knows the end of the greatest love affair of her life(61)”.
That Maisie must cut off her leg to find relief from mosquitoes that just don’t dare bite the privileged members of the high brow Hamptons emphasizes the disbelief that the privileged can be touched by anything or that they seek the common relief found by the lesser socio-economic, thinner blooded peons. The satire says it is better to have the offending bitten limb amputated and to be limbless than to suffer with the affliction of “lowly and plebian” mosquito bites. It is as if she cuts all love from her life and throws it away with her limb, into the surf. And no one cares. Carlsbad says he sees she is cutting off her foot and tries to look down her shirt while doing so, but otherwise goes about his business.
Slavin's people dwell in the suburbs, midway between city and country, realism and surrealism. She bites at upper class systems with dry humor and by creating a sharp little drama and through that she achieves the absurdity that is her game. She makes the norm into the abnormal and she does it well.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is full of dark absurdities, but they're approached cheerfully or as just another part of an average day in the lives of these characters, which lulled me into thinking of them as almost normal. Teeth growing out of skin? Sure, fine. Babyproofing that includes removing a parent from the household? I'm still with you. The author has a way of weaving these impossible elements in so matter-of-factly and with such authority that I have no desire to question them. And the surreal elements in her stories are, after all, often not much of a stretch from the world we actually live in. It's not impossible to imagine concern for a newborn being taken to unreasonable extremes, and the teeth are the kind of thing we wonder about in scarier daydreams - what if? could it happen? In these worlds it can, often to great effect.

The language in here is really beautiful, in a creepy and disturbing and wonderful way. That may have been part of what lulled me into the less familiar aspects of these stories.

The only thing I took issue with in these stories were some of the endings. A couple of them simply fell flat for me and left me unsure what I was supposed to take away from them. A couple others left me wondering why the surreal construct was necessary to tell stories of human connection - or failure to connect - that could be told just as well through characters in a more familiar setting. Overall, though, very good read.

[Lavinia · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by someone who knew that I enjoy magic realism a lot. Unfortunately, I was unable to create a connection to the stories here, the author seemed like she is still searching for her style and is experimenting with a bunch of different ways of writing.

I'm still looking for that female author who will write in such a way that you can't tell if she's a woman or is a man. I'm not saying that one should not write about "womanly" issues, but babies and love are topics that have always been covered by women in literature.

On wikipedia I found the best description for Julia Slavin's writing: desperate housewives meet kafka, which is very accurate, but it's not something that I want to read. Of course, this was her first published book, and she's a very young author, with strong narrative skills, so I still think she has plenty of time to discover her style and write something original, but without falling into gender mundane problems.

[Shel]

These are a mix of realistic and imaginative stories. Often strange things — from a couple who refuse to clean up a pudding after dropping it in a fight for so long that it crystallizes to the floor to a woman who grows teeth all over her body — happen in realistic settings.

Many of the stories explore the relationships and emotional states of couples who are devoted to raising children. New parents may appreciate, "Babyproofing".

[Hannah]

I read this because of a namecheck by Amy Hempel and was accordingly disappointed, for the first couple stories, that this book was obviously not written by Amy Hempel. Then I got over it. There are still some moments where it seems too easy somehow - not surprising enough - but I think I over-value surprise in art. I just like things better when they get done differently from how I'd do them.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Il risvolto di copertina parla di "realismo magico". In alcuni racconti questa strana (e per me inedita finora) magia l'ho trovata, e quei racconti li ho amati. Altri invece li ho trovati sottotono e, insomma, troppo reali. Mica brutti... ma proprio accanto a certi altri così perturbanti hanno sfigurato ai miei occhi. Segnalo i miei preferiti: Ingoiato, Odontofilia, Cade a pezzi.

[Fishface · Rating 4 out of 5]

A intriguing series of odd little stories, all of them about grief and lost love. The woman who was having the affair with the oak tree outside her window -- now that was original. I would love to hear what Dr. Freud said about THAT. Seriously though, they are funny and sad, imaginative as anything and really left an impression on me.

[Almaslegacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good funny "brain candy". A mix of hilarious and darker stories. Pretty good.

[Auriane Rudder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything about this collection of stories. They're wild, weird and divinely feminine. Thank you, Julia Slavin, your imagination inspires me.

[Syreeta McFadden · Rating 3 out of 5]

fun stories - particularly dentiphilia, swallowed whole and rare is the red center

[Prooost Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I once loved a woman who grew teeth all over her body.

Julia Slavin's suburban world a wild and crazy place, but its inhabitants rarely seem to lose their cool. Most of these stories have an element of the fantastic. I'm not sure whether the author is somehow making emotions concrete or whether she just likes making up bizarre stories. The stories are both funny and a little disturbing. You probably haven't read anything like them.

Also try Slavin's novel Carnivore Diet.

[Moran Likely · Rating 2 out of 5]

stories with ambiguous endings. grows tiring after awhile.