Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Adaptations #2

by Bonnie Bryant Hiller

The Turtles are back... in time!

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction

96 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1991

Reviews

[Jakob J. 🎃]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze was my favorite movie as a whippersnapper. (I wore out the VHS tape and my mom had to buy a second copy). As an adult, with a more refined taste in children’s entertainment, I recognize that the first live-action adaptation is vastly superior. This one has a dearth of Casey Jones, inadequately supplanted by the squeaky-voiced pizza boy, Keno.

The other big let down of this sequel is that, despite there being no blood or on-screen death in the first film, mothers across the land complained that it was too dark and violent, leading to toned down, more light-hearted fair that had the turtles fighting not with their trademark weapons, but with sausage links, yo-yos, and pool noodles. Just another example of whiners and committees compromising artistic integrity. (I will give credit to the novelization. Leanardo commanded his brothers to stow their weapons, stating that a true ninja is a master of his environment, and their environment in the moment happened to be a toy store being robbed, so at least I got an explanation denied me as a child).

The subtitle of the sequel refers to the origins of how the turtles became mutated, and Donatello, the most logical and scientifically oriented member of the family, ironically has an existential crisis w/r/t how they came to be. He wanted there to be more, to have been deliberately created, which has the most religious subtext in anything I’ve seen in the series. I would have enjoyed that theme being explored further.

Tokka and Rahzar are awesome. That’s all I have on that. They were shoehorned in as stand-ins for Bebop and Rocksteady, and everyone would have wanted to see them on screen, but the wolf and snapping turtle costumes looked outstanding. They were the highlight of the movie.

Vanilla Ice was not mentioned by name, so I’m guessing his iconic involvement was not a done deal before this was written, or there was a rights issue. No matter. The Ninja Rap is a classic.

The biggest disappointment is with the Shredder. He survives an appropriate send-off in the first movie/novelization only to meet a trivialized and disgraceful end. (Yes, I know I’m essentially reviewing the movie, but the book is just a dumb cash-in tie-in. Leave me alone). He drinks the mutagenic ooze to become Super Shredder. He looks badass. He is primed for an epic battle…and he dies by taking down a dock on himself. It makes sense that he would be consumed by his anger and lust for vengeance and thus be the source of his own destruction, but it was a super weak climax.

I still watch the movies regularly, and it was fun to revisit them in a different form, but I’ll never read these novelizations again.

[Jason Pierce]

Well, I guess this kind of sucks? I don't know. I loved this movie even more than the first one when I was a kid, but the story is just kind of eh, and dorky, and dumb, and pretty nonsensical when viewed through my more scrutinous adult eyes, and the first one is definitely better. None of this is the fault of the author, B.B. Hiller, who does an excellent job of presenting this to her target audience which is late-elementary age kids. My 12-year-old self would've thought this was the bee's knees.

Like the first book, this is pretty much the movie scene for scene, so just watch that if you want the story. If that's too much to handle (and I confess that it's a tall order), then just watch this four minute honest trailer which is a scream and summarizes the movie while pointing out its inanities.

Looking back on my childhood, I sometimes wonder what I was thinking. Stephen King tells us “You know, schizoid behavior is a pretty common thing in children. It's accepted, because all we adults have this unspoken agreement that children are lunatics.” I'm going to chalk this next bit up to something like that. I used to think the scene at the dance club where Vanilla Ice performs "Ninja Rap" was the best thing I had ever seen in my life up to that time... But then I remembered some Star Wars stuff and came to my senses. Seriously, Tokka and Rahzar have to have learned their fighting skills from Captain Kirk and the Gorn. Why did I think they were so awesome? I guess because they were big and strong.

However, whoever played the turtles are damn impressive when they're fighting the foot soldiers and dancing later. They're in these big, bulky rubber suits under movie lights and everything. I mean, they've got to be roasting, their mobility is hindered, and they still put on a show like that. Wow.

As for Vanilla Ice... Well, Jim Carrey does him better, though I admit "Ninja Rap" is a guilty pleasure. "Go ninja, go ninja, go" was actually running through my head as I left work today since I had looked it up last night so I could include it in this review. There's a pond just outside the building that I pass on the way to the parking garage, and some large turtles reside there. I hardly ever see them, and don't think I've seen them in a year or two, however three of them were hanging out just outside the water today. I went closer to look at them, and they got back into the pond just as the "go ninja, go ninja, go" part of the chorus came around in my head again. I reckon I ruined their sun bathing. This is apropos of nothing, but I still thought it was a neat coincidence, and it was a nice end to a semi-trying day. I may not have a great deal of sense in many matters, but I'm glad I have sense enough to appreciate moments like that when they come along.

[Chris]

This was fun reading because I loved this movie as a kid and I read the book as a kid. I would only recommend it to kids and adults looking for nostalgia

[Adam Martin]

It’s a novelization of The Secret of the Ooze I mean what can I say about it other than “Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!”

[Kenny Bird]

I read this as a kid and really enjoyed it.

[Sharon Buxton]

C. fiction, upper elementary; adventures of tv cartoons; from stash, gift.

[Andy Green]

Well that was a nice quick read. This is my fave of the turtle movies and may have to give it a rematch now

[Will Cantrell]

Doesn’t hit on everything from the movie but it’s pretty close. I could have used “a little too Ralph”. But it’s def worth a read for anyone that is a collector on TMNT things.