You Are the Message

by Roger Ailes

"You are the message." What does that mean, exactly? It means that when you communicate with someone, it's not just the words you choose to send to the other person that make up the message. You're also sending signals about what kind of person you are--by your eyes, your facial expression, your body movement, your vocal pitch, tone, volume, and intensity, your commitment to your message, your sense of humor, and many other factors.

The receiving person is bombarded with symbols and signals from you. Everything you do in relation to other people causes them to make judgments about what you stand for and what your message is. "You are the message" comes down to the fact that unless you identify yourself as a walking, talking message, you miss that critical point.

The words themselves are meaningless unless the rest of you is in synchronization. The total you affects how others think of and respond to you.

Genres: Business, Communication, Nonfiction, Leadership, Self Help, Politics, Journalism

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Roger Ailes was the founder and former Chairman and CEO of Fox News and the Fox Television Stations Group.

Reviews

[Macartney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly not as good as I was expecting. Perhaps because it's almost thirty years old, but full of what I'd consider common knowledge on proper ways to communicate. He makes some good observations on the power and effect of television over the modern era and also has some good exercises and tips on how to carry yourself, but otherwise a fairly random, scattered collection of bland stories and obvious tips. Seems rather haphazardly thrown together, as he often contradicts himself (even on the same page!). Full of several cringe inducing thoughts on the role of women in the workplace. Not a single mention of race, except for a creepy tangent on how "controversial" MLK, Jr.'s birthday is and how people can't "comfortably" discuss their true feelings about it in public. Eerily forebodes his use of racial tropes and fears to power Fox News' popularity. While the book's suggestion to embrace yourself, quirks and all, seems uplifting and helpful, the ultimate message of style and flash over substance is creepy and scary. Reagan is perfect communicator for Ailes, which tells you all you need to know.

[Teri Temme · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! Can't believe I hadn't heard of it before. Very good advice about how to best communicate.

[Jay French · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had Roger Ailes book on communication on my to-read list for decades. I recall putting it on the list because I wanted to understand how Ailes worked so successfully with Ronald Reagan during his campaigns and presidency. In the abridged audiobook version of Ailes book, which I am reviewing here, there was little to no discussion of his Reagan years. Instead, you get plenty of Ailes' anecdotes about his "formative" years in mass communication and public speaking, much of that earned while producing "The Mike Douglas Show". Strangely, this was one of my favorite shows when I was in elementary school and I still have memories of watching it with my Mom when home sick or during breaks. I remember some of his old-school talk show guests, and, again strangely given Ailes work with politicians and subsequent work with Fox News, the examples he uses are those guests, including Pearle Bailey for prepping for an appearance and Jack Benny for playing a role when in the public eye. Ailes also uses himself for examples, including one about interviewing Charles Manson illustrating taking charge of a situation. There is the expected public speaking advice, but I appreciated his showbiz examples.

The abridged audio was less than an hour. I am usually disheartened by abridgments, as cuts in abridging really can destroy plots. In this book of public speaking anecdotes and advice, you can't really tell what is missing, so this is a good book to abridge. Also, this abridgment was done with the concepts of the book in mind, especially to put your best face forward when speaking to the public. Here, this is accomplished through professional narration, multiple speakers including a number of interviewees, and strong production values that made this sound like a heavily funded radio program. You might also say this sounds like it was the soundtrack of a TV production, aimed at being concise yet friendly. For the time investment, I found this quite interesting.

[Joseph Serwach · Rating 5 out of 5]

"People who are the best communicators communicate with their whole being. They're animated, expressive, interesting to watch - just as they should be on television.....none of these things will work for you unless they're organic, meaning that they come from within. Employing communications techniques in a mechanical fashion only makes you seem wooden, and you'll be seen as insincere...

"When a photographer says, 'Smile,' people often produce forced grins. If you just concentrate on someone you like, who makes you happy, your face will automatically smile. And it will be real. Remember: Smiling is first in the brain, then on the face,'' - Roger Ailes, "You are the Message: Getting what you want by being who you are.''

Roger Ailes wrote "You are the Message: Getting what you want by being who you are'' in 1988: before the Internet, before Social Media and before Fox, Fox News (which he created) and the iPodization of America changed everything about mass communications.

And yet, most of Ailes' advice is just as relevant today, classic and timeless today as it was in 1988: the strategies are very similar while the platforms and tools have exploded and multiplied.

Instead of preparing for a TV interview, people can use the same lessons to prepare for being part of a YouTube video, blog or a host of other mediums few even dreamed of in 1988. Meanwhile, the number of people who can participate in these mediums has multiplied as well.

Are you ready for your moment in the spotlight? Ailes book offers some solid pointers on preparing for sharing your stories and messages with the world.

[Vadim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Если у вас есть возможность прочитать только одну книгу о том, как произносить речи, я посоветую эту.

Ее ключевой посыл -- не надо "выступать". Вызов публичной речи не в том, чтобы быть необычным, а напротив в том, чтобы быть обычным, но в лучших своих проявлениях: подготовленным, интересным, энергичным, заинтересованным в разговоре.

Хорошая речь -- это просто хороший разговор. А быть хорошим собеседником означает примерно одно вне зависимости от того, сидишь ты или стоишь, и сколько людей перед тобой.

Совет "не выступать" (автор формулирует его несколько в других словах) не просто задает симпатичный образец для публичной речи (обычный разговор), до которого не дотягивает так много публичных речей, но и помогает облегчить "страх сцены" (не так страшно делать то, что вы делаете весь день; мы все много разговариваем, ведь так?).

В книге много хороших советов и по множеству других тем (юмор, энергия, likeability). Тому, кто хочет составить план работы над своими ораторскими способностями, книга покажет множество прежде не видимых дорог.

[W.D. III · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the textbook in my graduate speech class, but don't hold that against it. The book is great, including my favorite chapter, when Ailes met Charles Manson. A chapter would be assigned to the class and, next thing I knew, I read three chapters. It's one of a score of books from college that changed my life. I have used concepts here in my business consulting and in the college courses I teach.

[Noah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good bits. I just happened to start reading it a week before Carlson's lawsuit broke. So as I read my opinion of Ailes went from 'odd but clever guy who knows his stuff' to 'little hack who deserves to die in a deep pit, sad and alone.'

[Sandip Bhattacharya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great!!!!!

If there is only one book that you want to read to understand media or communication , then read this one.

[Sufen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow - this is one of the best books on communication that I have ever read! Roger Ailes was truly an expert in his field of television. I enjoyed how he used stories of people he worked with to illustrate his point. For example, when he was working with President Reagan to prepare for a presidential debate and had to get him to be himself again to shine in the final debate. Similarly, communication is about being the best version of yourself. Many of us get into trouble when we become multiple versions of ourselves in different situations and with different people - i.e. acting vs performing (acting is pretending to be someone else; performing is projecting the best version of ourselves). I really enjoyed how the book addresses the multiple facets of being a masterful communicator (e.g. being like-able, having an ounce of energy makes up for communication errors, staying with a consistent message). I also found the section on how to deal with reporters interesting - they are trying to do their job but we also need to be aware of the various techniques they use to try to get a good story for the public. Overall, would highly recommend this book to others trying to refine their communications. I will definitely re-read this and apply the learnings.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a dated book now. The most current form of media in this version is television, and social media has completely changed most importantly, the timeliness of media. Everyone is media now (2019).

In 2019, "you are the message" still, but take away the power of social media like Instagram, and you are not longer a fashion model, or chef.

I just want to remind you Roger Ailes work with presidents Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and George H. W. Bush on communication, and media. He was a television producer, most recent an executive for Fox News until 2016. He recently passed away May 18, 2017 in Palm Beach, Florida.

[Stefan Papp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was curious after watching the loudest voice to learn more about Ailes. I got the feeling from all his writing that he really believed that he was a good and helpful person. He also addresses how women can survive in a chauvinist world(ironically).

Of course, a reader reads the word „I“ is found often. There is a lot of self praising and of course the assumption to be able to fix people.

In between all the narcissistic talks - which were more common in the eighties - there is also useful advice. Nothing extraordinary new, but still important

[Shawn Lacagnina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very interesting read considering his life after this book was written. Love him or hate him, there is a lot of solid information in this book to help anyone become a better communicator. Regardless of your degree of speaking accomplishment, there is something to learn here. "You are the message" provides a solid foundation of understanding the dynamics of communication on several levels. Well done and recommended.

[Atrona Grizel (Sov8840)]

The people around me were exactly the same five years ago as they are now. They have a rigid and determined personality, and it never changes. Five years from now, they’ll still be the same. They’re so predictable that I can even foresee their old age. As for me, thanks to my lack of a “personality,” I turn from fire to water and from water to fire in just five days. Because I am nothing in particular, thus I can become anything I want.

[Groot · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a while since I read it, but I remember loving it. It's not about how to be your best all the time, but about being able to quickly become your best when the situation calls for it, for when you really need to be your best.

[John Calhoun · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this based on a fantastic obit by the Economist when Ailes died. But this book, while having some advice about remembering that your whole self-presentation is the message (not just your argument), also indulged in way too much random narration about Ailes' meetings with famous people etc.

[Nate Lorenzen · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you know nothing about public speaking, this could be a resource. Or simply put yourself out there and record yourself and then scruntinize your performance. It’s dated and the author is a horrible person but the book has some decent points here or there.

[Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roger Ailes is no doubt a great teacher and mentor.

[A. Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Timeless

Good read with solid actionable advice. I recommend reading the book backwards for quick gouge on how to handle the media and preparing for your next speaking gig.

[Charleah Trombitas · Rating 4 out of 5]

good book. bad author.

[Gris Mcksomething · Rating 5 out of 5]

*taps you on the shoulder* Heya •name•! *smiles* What did YOU think of this book?

This was required college reading for several colleges. Brilliant breakdown of communication.

[Vikas Suresh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple rules for success. The summary section is useful. We certainly are the the message, we are sending out messages even without our knowledge.

[Luis Carpio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I consider it's an interesting book because it's teach you how can you have a good communication with each other.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to the abridged audiobook. Really short but fantastic. Amazing and important information from a master.

[Sharon]

skimmed it -- mostly a public speaking book

[Mr. V · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was some really good information in how to present yourself. It is not a book to read straight throw but more of a book to refer back to as you try to improve your presentation. There are also very good suggestions on how to understand people's nonverbal signals. One chapter in the book talked about taking notes after a meeting and focusing on the people's nonverbal message. He encourage you to write down 12 nonverbal ques. I do very good on taking notes after meetings but don't know if I could write down more then half of such ques. I will have to try.

[Sam B · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's kind of tough for me to rate this book because I've taken enough communication classes throughout my educational career that I didn't feel like he introduced any new, ground-breaking material in this. But he presents his material excellently. Not to say I'm an expert by any means, far from it, but I've at least seen almost everything he discussed before. It's a good book, and a worthwhile read. Might re-read it, probably won't, but if the thought of public speaking really does terrify you I'd recommend this. He does a great job of demystifying the process and breaking down the difficult areas.

[Evan]

"You are the message little lady. So, before I let you start flappin' your sweet little lips on my television network, I want you to rehearse those little nibblers all over my shrunken raw-hamburger dick. Otherwise, like we say here in the executive suites at Fox News, if you don't lay, you don't play."

Check out your news today folks. Another Republican hypocrite exposed.

(kr@Ky 2016)

[Chase Maddison · Rating 4 out of 5]

In most jobs, communication is very important. This book helps you communicate better without turning you into a transparent phony. It makes you better by teaching you to accentuate the positives of your personality. It also gives good advice on taking a different perspective when you are not communicating effectively.

[Joel · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you've taken a college speech class then you are already familiar with all the content in this book. Granted, there is some good material in here, but I would only call this a reference book for when you need to give a presentation - not something that everyone needs to read.

[Gary Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ailes is as good a writer as he is a media consultant. The book comes off as a self-help book for those who wish to project a positive image in their professional careers. Read with Carnegie.