Lessons For Dylan: On Life, Love, the Movies, and Me

by Joel Siegel

At the age of fifty-seven, movie critic Joel Siegel both became a father for the first time and learned that he had cancer. In Lessons for Dylan , Siegel shares all the things he wants his son to know—in case he's not around to tell him. It's a story about a life well-lived and about living life well. It's chock-full of earnest advice, hilarious anecdotes, a Yiddish lexicon, and recollections of everyone from Brad Pitt to the Beatles. Siegel lays out the History of the Jewish People in Four Jokes; offers Dylan manly advice on sex ("ask your mother"), culinary arts, the movies; and of course, offers a few lectures ("Be anything you want to be, but, please God, please don't want to be an actor"). Along the way, Joel teaches Dylan, and readers, a little something about growing up at any age.

At times heart-wrenching, at times laugh-out-loud funny, Joel Siegel has crafted an indelible and enduring love letter to his son, and a literary gift to us all.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Jewish

400 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2003

Reviews

[Valerie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Without having ever heard of Joel Siegel, I picked up this book at my Little Free Library. I enjoy reading the occasional memoir because I'm always curious to know what it's like to be someone other than me. However, had I merely opened to the back before embarking on this read, I would have quickly learned that this is not a book about someone other than me—it is a book about hundreds of people other than me—so many people that they need to be cataloged in a 6-page index. It's more like a Who's Who in Pre-Millennial Pop Culture than a "Biography" or an "Inspiration," the genres listed on the back cover.

There are whole chapters devoted to famous people, but even the parts that are nominally about advice or Yiddish or cancer are littered with mentions of people that I feel I'm supposed to recognize. Random interpersonal recollections seem to be Joel Siegel's way of communicating, but when the name-dropping is this relentless, I can't help but feel I'm being bragged to.

Another thing I struggled with in this book is that it's just not that funny. If reason #1 for reading was that I am drawn to autobiography as a subject, reason #2 was that the cover used the words "funny," "hilarious," and "humor" so liberally, I thought for sure I'd found a lighthearted book I could read for fun. Well, when Part 1 dove headfirst into a cancer story and Part 2 continued with the history of antisemitism, I realized I might have been wrong. Even the parts of the book that were obviously supposed to be humorous didn't really generate a laugh. There were numerous little anecdotes that ended with a sentence that seemed like it should have been a punchline, except... I didn't get it. Maybe I'm dense? Maybe you just had to be there? In any case, "hilarious" seems like it was a bit of an overstatement.

Despite what you might have gleaned from the last 3 paragraphs, I did not actually hate this book. In fact, in the grand tradition of this book itself, I've started off with the depressing stuff, and now I'll lighten it up.

One of the best features of this book is that it is digestible. It is the kind of book that you can pick up, read one page of, set down, forget about for 12 hours or 3 days, and return to without ever having to turn back to a previous page. All the segments are short and self-contained. There's not much plot to keep track of, which makes it excellent for a reader with a short attention span.

Although many of the celebrity and film references were lost on me (probably a few years too young and certainly too unaware of media personalities), there were a few stories that were fascinating to read. In fact, I daresay that if you have even a passing interest in any person who was moderately famous sometime in the 20th century, you will probably find some little tidbit about them in this book.

In summary, there's something in here for everyone, although you might want to skim past the parts that don't speak to you personally.

[Pari · Rating 4 out of 5]

While on rest, a friend recommended this to me - and I was so happy to read this. Loved the hilarious memories. So different from "Breath becomes Air" - just a bit too late to read this one. If I were to ever write a book, hopefully the tone is similar to this one!

[Douglas Lord · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-known critic Siegel underwent his last day of chemotherapy shortly after his son, Dylan, was born. Perhaps only slightly mistitled, his first book goes beyond the titular lessons (e.g., “The Smoking, Drinking, and Drugs Lecture”), chronicling Siegel’s life, Judaic heritage, and civil rights work in the 1960s South. Though obviously overwhelmed by his disease, the author sometimes takes a devil-may-care attitude: “One of my mantras is that pain is God’s way of telling me I’m not dead yet.” Few details of fighting the disease are spared, colostomy bag and all. Along with some good laughs and interesting tidbits about rubbing shoulders with famous and noteworthy folk, it can be a compelling, if chatty, read. Some material is unsurprising (e.g., his failed Broadway musical), and Siegel cannot resist characterizing those he met along the way (Ringo Starr is a schmuck, Orson Welles a genius). His humanity and obvious love for his son are touching. Recommended, though for memoir rather than child rearing collections due to the autobiographical bent.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

As he looks forward to becoming a first time father in his 50's, Joel Siegel id diagnosed with colon cancer which metastasizes to his lungs since he is uncertain about how much time he will have with his young son, he writes about all the things that he want his son to know about his life, his Jewish heritage, and his philosophy of life.

[Gil-or (readingbooksinisrael) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though Joel Siegel is older than me by 57 years this was so relatable. All throughout the book I kept on going, "Uh huh!" and "Me too!", especially at the Yiddish parts. Besides that this book was funny. I kept laughing aloud, prompting my brother to scream at me. His life was very interesting, too. Or at least the way he told it, in little snippets.

[Debby · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I heard on TV about Joel Siegel's death from colon cancer, I was saddened - mostly because he was leaving a young son without a father. The book is partly interesting, partly mundane. He describes his illness and then goes on to leave a legacy about himself for his son.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little meandering but enjoyable. This guy was in the right place at the right time to witness some important 20th century history (Civil Rights Movement, RFK's assassination, etc). He's also not afraid to talk shop or point out the heroes and egos of the entertainment industry.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read! Super fast and well written. Really opens your eyes to how a cancer patient feels about the end of life and why memories and stories of the past are so important to pass on to future generations.

[Christine Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. This pick will make you laugh a lot and also cry.

[Brian]

Like life, bittersweet. And bitter, and sweet. I think Joel would have made a good dinner guest.