The Basics of Shepherding Members in Need The Pastor and Counseling

by Jeremy Pierre, Deepak Reju

Pastors spend much of their time counseling people in crisis--a delicate task that requires one to carefully evaluate each situation, share relevant principles from God's Word, and offer practical suggestions for moving forward. Too often, however, pastors feel unprepared to effectively shepherd their people through difficult circumstances such as depression, adultery, eating disorders, and suicidal thinking. Written to help pastors and church leaders understand the basics of biblical counseling, this book provides an overview of the counseling process from the initial meeting to the final session. It also includes suggestions for cultivating a culture of discipleship within a church and four appendixes featuring a quick checklist, tips for taking notes, and more.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Nonfiction, Church, Discipleship

Paperback

First published April 30, 2015

About the author

Jeremy Pierre, PhD, is Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling and Dean of Students at Southern Seminary. He is also a pastor at Clifton Baptist Church. He is coauthor of The Pastor and Counseling. He and his wife Sarah raise their five children in Louisville, Kentucky.

Reviews

[Brenden Wentworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick book that can read in one sitting, which is to be welcomed in the busyness of ministry

Definite crash course in the method and process of biblical counseling that I’m sure I’ll return to in the future as well as recommend to others!

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trustworthy, crisp, and practical, Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju have given every pastor a gift in their "The Pastor and Counseling." Broken into three sections with an appendix that shouldn't be skipped, Pierre and Reju consider the basic concept, process, and context of pastoral counseling.

The pastor can find deeper insight in any of the three sections elsewhere, but I don't know of a more trustworthy concise guide. I found their middle section on process particularly helpful and practical. At the end of the book they include a checklist for the counseling process that is worth the price of the book alone as well as an excellent background form and notetaking guide.

Outside of wishing the book was at least twice as long, I wish that Pierre and Reju would have been more clear about what distinguishes their biblical counseling model from pastoral or Christian counseling models that take their cues from therapeutic counseling. I think defining what aspects of therapeutic models are wrong and why would have been helpful for the pastor in a novel like this. To that end, I would encourage the pastor to pick up Powlison's "Seeing with New Eyes" and "How People Change" by Lane and Tripp.

For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live.

[Scott Meadows · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an excellent introduction to the counseling chair for anyone in ministry training or currently amidst the battleground.

Systematically walking through the heart, process, and outcomes of a counseling session(s), the authors do well in visualizing the ways that God calls His pastors and church members to join together for the health of their congregation.

If you’ve already read a 9Marks book then you know what you’re in for through stylistic writing. You can also skip chapter 7 as it’s just a summary of 9Marks ecclesiology.

The appendix is valuable and will more than likely be a list of resources that I return to in the future.

[Chase Coleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read, very practical help for pastoral ministry, but this book is useful for any member of a local church. I found the later chapters particularly more helpful and their discussion on building a culture of discipleship in the local church. The job of counseling does not fall on the pastors shoulders alone. All members of the local church can help promote a culture counseling, but it is also the pastors job to help equip members. A great dynamic that I think Deepak and Dr. Pierre talk about in the book.

[Mark Donald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second reading: Re-read for the pastoral internship 2020-21. Great resource, highly recommend. Great stuff on culture of discipleship, and helped by rethinking about idolatry (p.73-77)

First reading:
A great introduction to the topic of counseling. Particularly aimed towards pastors, helping them to think through their role in counseling the members of their flock.

"Counseling in its simplest form is one person seeking to walk alongside another person who has lost his or her way." (p. 18)

"Your confidence is not in some super-developed counseling technique, or even in yourself, but in God's power to change people." (p. 17)

Pierre and Reju helpfully walk through the concept, process, and context of counseling with helpful and practical insights all along the way. As men with pastoral experience they encourage the reader to be faithful but not bear the burden of counseling alone by seeking the Lord in prayer, developing a culture of discipleship in the church, and carefully utilizing resources in your city.

[Mike Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that is a written as a crash-course in counseling for the underprepared or nervous pastor. I think the book accomplishes its stated goals well: to give the pastor a framework for counseling any problem, to offer practical advice for counseling meetings and logistics, and to infuse them with a godly confidence.

My only gripe is that a central component of the book is that is too brief in explaining a core concept: the pastor’s responsibility to listen to the counselee’s response to God, others, self, and circumstances. The authors have written another book that explores that in more detail, but could have borrowed space from other sections to elaborate a little more on that concept.

[Joseph Henry Kester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, practical, and biblical. A useful introduction to the work of pastoral counseling. There is much more to be said, but Pierre and Reju keep it brief.

"Our goal is not to enable you to handle anything that comes your way. The goal, rather, is to give you confidence that in the gospel you have the categories you need to navigate the troubles of your people. Your confidence is not in some super-developed counseling technique, or even in yourself, but in God’s power to change people."

[Kaitlyn Pindak · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I am never going to be a pastor, I am taking a class called Introduction to Biblical counseling with Dr. Robert D. Jones and this was one of 7 required texts- and it is one of the best books on biblical counseling!!!
5/5 🌟

[Jacob Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a super helpful introduction and guide for anyone looking to understand how to counsel in the local church.

[Wagner Floriani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really a must read for all church-based lay counselors. Insightful, strategic, balanced. Couldn’t put it down.

[Andrew Gates · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book! Method was simple and helpful (Listen, Consider, Speak) as well as things to listen for (Circumstances, Others, Self, God). Best parts were so many practical tips on how-tos from the placement of tissues and clocks to note-taking. Great stuff on the role of small talk, questions, summarizing, hope, and homework as well as suggestions for pathways to counsel people. This work gave some great tools to help on-the-ground counseling work.

[Tracey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though its intended audience is pastors, this book gives great insight to laypersons interested in biblical counseling. It provides an overview of the method and process of counseling and describes how a culture of discipleship might be encouraged within the church.

[Tim Michiemo · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.0 Stars

In "The Pastor and Counseling" Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju skillfully hit on all the essentials of pastoral counseling in a helpfully brief manner. A great book to read and extremely informative!

[Jim Savastio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book on the practicalities of pastoral counseling. The authors write with both confidence in the power of the Word and the gospel as well as seasoned pastoral experience.

[Daniel Calle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jeremy Pierre y Deepak Reju han escrito un muy útil librito de consejería para pastores. La idea del libro es un dar "marco básico" para la consejería. La meta, entonces, no sería solucionar todos los problemas de los miembros, sino dar la confianza a los consejeros que en el evangelio tenemos la respuesta para cada pensamiento, afecto o decisión erróneas. Somos pecadores y Jesucristo es el único que puede transformarnos para agradar a Dios y conformarnos a su imagen. El libro provee un método y también describe el proceso de la consejería, detallando los objetivos y las actividades para las reuniones con el aconsejado. Los autores exponen una consejería cristocéntrica, que usa fielmente la Palabra de Dios, para llevar a los aconsejados a una respuesta de fe frente a sus problemas.

[Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

True to its name, this book is very much an introduction to the 'basics' of pastoral counselling, but it covers a huge amount of content in very few pages. It also goes much further simply the 'how-to's of counselling - these guys left me a bunch of helpful insights into church leadership and discipleship as whole.

Some fave quotes:

'Every member of your church is a culture maker.'
'We should strive to make church a place where being anonymous or nominal is difficult to pull off.'
'[How do we bring glory to God?] Eloquent sermons? Growing public influence? A stable and expanding congregation? These can be acceptable means, but the are insufficient values. The way to glorify God is to make disciples.'

[John Pawlik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Superbly helpful book! Coming into the subject I felt like I really didn’t know anything about the subject, and they really jump right in and speak clearly about goals, procedure, etc.

It lacked pastoral sensitivity at times, which may be because they understood the pastors to be the audience, but still it felt a little unnecessarily abrasive. Not in like an overly sensitive therapeutic age kinda way, but in a way that comes across as harsh when it didn’t need to be.

Nonetheless, every tradition needs the insight of others, and 9marks instead excluded from that! Their issues are my issues, so I benefited from reading other books alongside this one.

[Jonathan Kiewiet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is short but helpful book filled with a lot of good and practical advice concerning Biblical counseling. The Pastor must listen to those whom he is counseling, thoughtfully consider what is said and speak truth in love in a way that calls people to faith in a way specifically adhering to there heart responses. A Pastor may not be able to solve all the problems that one may come to him with, but he does have, in the Scriptures, everything he needs to to build the counselees faith so that he would respond to his/her problems in a Christlike manner.
The book also covers an overview of the process from the first to the last meeting. This book provides various aids in the appendix’s and does very well to explain the pastors roles and responsibilities in the relm of counseling.

[Richard Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many books on Biblical Counseling that are excellent resources for trying to grow in helping and disciplining people. Where this book meets a need is this is, as the title implies, written specifically to pastors who are looking to be faithful in their personal counseling ministry, not just in their preaching. It was very practical, but it was also very insightful. I would highly recommend this book.

[Ainsley Hartman · Rating 1 out of 5]

For a book that talks about complex and nuance, this book is terrible at it. Not every issue that brings people to counseling is a sin issue. Not everything can be solved by prayer and a verse. Pastors are not the highest authority for someone’s mental health. Both genders can struggle with the same issues, sin is not specific to a gender no matter what is statistically a greater issue for men or women.

I hated this book with a passion.

[Simeon Brazzell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful introduction to counseling for a new pastor like myself. Nothing too deep or shocking here, just simple truth and advise for dealing with people as well as a quick study of the theology and reasoning behind counseling. I would have liked it to be more in depth, but to it's credit, the author said at the beginning that it was meant to be a short surface discussion of counseling, not a subject specific study.

[Evan Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Pastor and Counseling accomplishes the task of outlining practical helps a pastor should rely upon in the effort to counsel his sheep, through the actual counseling room, by relying upon a culture o discipleship in his church, and by utilizing outside professionals.

[Daniel Tanner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good and practical. This book does a great job of laying out the real feet-on-the-ground actions for initiating, continuing, and finishing counseling sessions. I will be returning to this book over time for sure.

[Graham Gaines · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a lot of good wisdom in this book, but the authors come off as being insensitive to some serious issues. They talk about wanting to be approachable, but also implicitly equate suicidal thoughts with foolishness. That's the only reason I gave this book 4 stars, though.

[Derrick Kenyon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent resource on pastoral counseling. Reju and Pierre present a helpful method of counseling and include many insightful questions to have or keep in mind throughout the counseling process. Highly recommend!

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great handbook to Biblical counseling - Very glad I read this, and, Lord-willing, I'll have this handy in the future.

[Jacob · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I have read on counseling. It takes away a lot of the systems present in other works and emphasizes the transformative power of the gospel. The job of pastors serving as counselors is primarily to speak the truth of the gospel to their parishioners, and this book serves as an excellent reminder of that.

[clara sylvester · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this a lot — another great primer on biblical counseling. already want to read it again.

[Joshua Chipchase · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. A great introduction/overview on counseling for pastors. Very practical, church focused, clear, and Biblical. Would be great for every staff pastor and lay elder to read, as some of the basics of counseling should be done by every spiritual shepherd. If I was to pick the best short book on counseling, this would be it.

[Aaron Shafovaloff · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a concise format the authors introduce the importance, purpose, and structure of counseling church members.

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Chapter 1

Good pastors smell like their sheep. They do the hard work required for pastoral care. While “preaching is the vital and central ministry of the Word in the mission of the church. It is the primary purpose of the body’s gathering.” (25) “The toil is not merely in public proclamation, but also in personal ministry.” (27) “Pastoral ministry involves (1) identifying with the sin and weakness of people, (2) speaking to God on behalf of people, and (3) speaking to people on behalf of God.” (28) God had “no obligation to people below.” (29) “Jesus put himself in a position to sympathize with weak people.” (29) “Learn the skills necessary for serving your people in their trouble.” (30) “When pastors move away from personal ministry to almost exclusively public or administrative tasks, they can easily lose sight of the profound needs in their midst.” (30) “warning everyone and teaching everyone.” (Col 1:28-29) The source of Paul’s energy is Christ, and his supply of it is powerful.” (33)

Chapter 2

“Keep a few overarching goals in mind.” (35) “Address the problem.” (36) “See the relevance of the gospel.” (36) “The gospel is relevant because it reframes all earthly troubles with an eternal perspective.” (37) “The gospel is always relevant.” (37) “Exposing the self-reliant lies.” (37) “Problems in life are occasions for troubled persons to hear the beckoning voice of Christ.” (37) “Put off soul-withering pursuits.” (38) “A life conforming to Christ—is much better than their immediate desire for happiness or release from grief.” (38)

“Celebrate the God-given humility the person is demonstrating in recognizing his or her need for help.” (39) “The most frequent example of friend-initiated counseling is a wife seeking help for her husband.” (39) “It is right for a wife to approach a pastor if she is concerned with the spiritual state of her husband.” (40) Those referred: “The person approached will likely be less open to counsel that if he were the one initiating the conversation.” (40) “Do not why away from this task [of pastor-initiated counseling] as if the Great Shepherd were not himself with you.” (41)

Having a counselee write up a preview “helps the counselee organize his or her thoughts.” (43)

Chapter 3

Listening, considering, then speaking (48). “How is the person factoring God into his troubles?” (50) “Does the person recognize the difference between his circumstances and his response to his circumstances?” (50) “A pastor knows whether to teach, comfort, warn, encourage, advise, and admonish from Scripture based on the person’s heart responses.” (50) “A pastor calls people out of rival identities and into Christ as their source of identity.” (51)

Chapter 4

“One to five meetings is fairly normal, six to ten sessions is possible though less common.” (58) “Establish a relational connection.” (58) “Small talk goes a long way in helping folks sense that their problems are not the defining factor of life.” (58) “The pastor bears the responsibility of transitioning to weightier matters.” (59) Establish trust. Show mercy, love and respect. (59) “Have a merciful disposition.” (60) “It is no exaggeration, dear pastor, to say that what God did for you in Christ was to take a perverted fool and give him the righteous wisdom of his own Son.” (60) “Love is actually more important than a solution.” (61) “It is usually best to open with a general question that allows the person to direct the conversation in the way that seems most pressing to him.” (62) “Fencing the conversation.” (63) “Depth questions.” (64) “Jesus uses trials to accomplish great things in the lives who trust him.” (65) “Open your Bible during the first meeting.” (65) “The psalmist is experiencing some circumstantial trouble primarily from the perspective of God ‘hiding his face’ (v. 1).” (67) “Writing out a prayer of praise, confession, or thanksgiving.” (68) “Keeping meetings to one hour is a good discipline.” (69) “Get the next meeting penciled in on your calendar.” (69) Pray for them with “unhurried sincerity.” (69) “The gospel is the sufficient answer to their troubles.” (69)

Chapter 5

“(1) Get an update; (2) ask about prep work; (3) continue to explore the concern; (4) offer redemptive remedies.” (70-71) “You want the questions to be simple and open-ended, but with an element of direction.” (71) “How are you doing with all this—discouraged or encouraged?” (71) “Do you have any new thoughts or realizations over the last week or so?” (71) “Has anything happened this week that you think would be helpful to talk through?” (71) “The most common assignment given between sessions will be the study of a relevant Bible passage and prayerful medication.” (72) “If you don’t ask about the prep work, you show that you don’t think it’s all that important.” (73) “If a person demonstrates a consistent lack of follow-through, then it’s time to have a conversation about not wasting his time or yours with a process that isn’t actually proceeding.” (73) “Words have a barometric pressure to them.” (74) “What people tend to talk about, who they are attracted to, how they spend their time—in summary, how their hearts respond to life—are matters of worship.” (74) “Israel was enamored not with a carved piece of wood, but with what they thought that god could grant them.” (75) “Don’t assume he is fully conscious of what motivates him.” (75) “You have to help him become more aware of things he believes.” (76) “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14) “Our overarching goal is to build spiritual infrastructure in lives, not just to plug leaking dams.” (77) “Uncovering how the heart is worshiping.” (77) “Proclaim his Word as a means of inciting faith.” (78) “You can think of counseling as involving custom-built proclamation of God’s Word as a means of building faith in Christ so that the heart can worship rightly.” (78) “Overidentifying with psychological labels.” (79) “Patient reworking of some very subtle assumptions.” (80) “Others will hide behind a legalistic view of God to prevent them from seeing the deeper ways they fall short.” (80) “Yet most of us walk around with much more subtle functional assumptions that misguide our lives.” (81) “Confessional assumptions, on the other hand, are what we know to be true according to the Bible.” (81) “Pastors need to root out the guilt, shame, and lies that define functional assumptions.” (81) “Consider how God would frame his situation so that he can see the picture of his life a little more clearly.” (81) “Paul did this with the Thessalonians by helping them reframe their lives according to the glorious future that await them (1 Thess. 4:13-18).” (82) “Describe likely outcomes of a decision.” (83) “Issuing a clear and sober warning of certain consequences.” (83) “A pastor who does not confront when he should is not being loving; he is being fearful.” (83) “Suggest some short-term and long-term goals.” (84) “What one or two things did you get out of our time?” (85) “Scheduling meetings too frequently may not leave adequate time to implement change.” (85) “What are the evidences of God’s grace in this person’s life?” (87)

Chapter 6

“The best indicator for ending counseling is that the individuals have been adequately equipped to respond in faith to their troubles.” (89) “It may be best to transition counselees to the care of others.” (90) “Do not let people deceive themselves into thinking they’re putting forth effort when they’re not. If they do not do the prep work and are uninterested in answering the questions you lay out, then for their own good the counseling needs to end.” (91) “Sometimes the best way to shepherd individuals is not to continue the work yourself, but to point them in the right direction—to someone who can give them the time and attention they need.” (92) “You must also be courageous enough to have hard conversations about why things didn’t work.” (93) “Sometimes you’ll be the only person willing to say the hard things needed to make a difference in their lives—and the only one who will do so with a graciousness that shows them that your ultimate motive is love.” (93) “First, reviewing the major themes about what God has done through the whole process of counseling; second, entrusting the person to the regular ministries and care of the church.” (93) “Both you and the counselee should be aware before your final meeting that your next meeting will be your last.” (93) “Commend and even celebrate the Lord’s work in people’s lives.” (94) “People tend to focus on their shortcomings and failures more than on their obedience.” (95) “You are calling people to look up from their immediate concerns and scan the broad horizon of all that God has done.” (95) That this season did not produce a harvest does not mean nothing was accomplished.” (95) “Shore up the biblical principles and practical tactics for handling future situations that may tempt people to fall back into old patterns of response.” (96) “Entrust people to be sustained through the regular means of grace that God provides for his children.” (97) “Perhaps the counselee would benefit from a list of biblical texts to work through in the weeks and months ahead.” (98) “Always leave the door open at the end.” (99)

Chapter 7

“Scripture makes it clear that making disciples is a task of pastors as well as church members.” (105) “A pastor cannot be shy about the New Testament’s vision of discipleship involving the active participation of all members.” (106) “You should be building trustworthy people who are both willing and equipped to help others when trouble comes.” (106) “We should strive to make church a place where being anonymous or nominal is difficult to pull off.” (106) “When a believer joins the church… he receives the commitment of other believers to his spiritual good, and he commits to theirs.” (108) “Church discipline is simply the members of a church loving one another by confronting patterns of sin that destroy the soul and defile the church.” (109) It is “part of the regular vigilance members have over one another’s souls.” (109) “Counseling is not a safe place for those who willfully continue patterns of clear and unrepentant sin.” (109) “Patient, hope-filled accountability with clear and reasonable standards is the best way to test the long-term trajectory of someone on the line.” (109) “Regularly teach disciple-making expectations for all of your current members.” (110) “What person in this congregation might benefit from the sacrifice of your time and attention?” (111) “You should be personally discipling men in your congregation to live as godly husbands, fathers, and workers.” (111) “Find ways to tell the congregation about encouraging examples of discipling.” (111) “Discipling should be taught, but it must also be caught as people see Christianity in action.” (112) “Avoid glorifying individuals or focusing only on success stories.” (112) “The ideal is that discipleship relationships come as the result of members initiating with one another.” (112) “Every Christian is capable of helping, even with the really hard stuff in the Christian life. With the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17), Christ’s love in their hearts (Gal. 5:6), and a willingness to serve (Mark 10:43-45), nothing can stop them from doing some effective good.” (114) “Seeking wisdom in a discipleship setting is really not different from seeking wisdom in a counseling setting.” (114) “Counseling simply involves more intensive exploration, more formal structure, and problem-specific expertise.” (114) “Asking family, friends, or fellow church members to join counseling sessions is an easy way to start equipping others.” (116) “Culture of discipleship.” (116)

Chapter 8

“You are helping your people sort through the guidance they’re receiving, making sure they critique it from a biblical standpoint.” (120) “You still need to stay in touch with your member to ensure that counsel is consistent with the Bible’s promises of grace and expectations for godly living.” (122) “Ask the member to give the counselor permission to talk with you so you can check in with the counselor and get as assessment of how things are going.” (123) “So if your people see secular professional counselors for whatever reasons, do not let them think they’ve replaced the need for biblical guidance from their pastor.” (125) “Remind them a that they are a mysterious combination of body and soul.” (126)