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Date Your Wife
An Intensely Practical Guide for Husbands Looking to Strengthen, Save, or Spice up Their Marriage
Most men don't know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they've forgotten how, or they're trying but it just doesn't seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important skill from a position of security in the gospel of grace. As a father of three boys and husband to a very happy wife, Justin offers guys a helping hand, good news, and wise counsel, along with: 100 practical ideas for how to date your wife Action steps at the end of each chapter Personal stories and real-life examples
All types of marriages--good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones--will experience a jumpstart as a result of hearing, believing, and living the message of Date Your Wife.
Most men don't know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they've forgotten how, or they're trying but it just doesn't seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important skill from a position of security in the gospel of grace. As a father of three boys and husband to a very happy wife, Justin offers guys a helping hand, good news, and wise counsel, along with: 100 practical ideas for how to date your wife Action steps at the end of each chapter Personal stories and real-life examples
All types of marriages--good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones--will experience a jumpstart as a result of hearing, believing, and living the message of Date Your Wife.
160 pages, Paperback
First published June 8, 2012
127 people are currently reading
548 people want to read
About the author
Justin Buzzard
8 books17 followersJustin Buzzard (MDiv, Fuller Theological Seminary) is founder and lead pastor of Garden City Church in Silicon Valley. Buzzard is the author of Date Your Wife, writes about culture and the church at JustinBuzzard.net, speaks widely, and is part of the Acts 29 Church Planting Network. He resides in Silicon Valley with his wife, Taylor, and their three young sons.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 142 reviews
May 10, 2017
I really wanted to like this book. My main problem with it is that it's a fractured read. It starts out with a completely different tone than how it finishes. the first 60% of the book is passable, summed up with this: Men, you are a failure, it's all your fault, so correct it. It almost turns grace into a platitude. He says there is grace, but it sure doesn't seem that way in the way he writes. Again, it's all the man's fault, right? As I was reading the book it felt like the Frat Guys Guide to Dating Your Wife. It has an overly simplistic view of men and an overly simplistic view of ever man's marriage experience. For some men engagement it thrilling; for others it is terrifying. It seems that Justin Buzzard considers that every man's wife is different and unique, but all men are the same. And honestly, I'm just tired of that. The "it's all your fault" theme left a bad taste in my mouth. Encourage men by pointing to redemption, not to guilt.
With that being said, there were redemptive elements to this book, but they largely occurred in the latter half. There was real, practical advice near the end of the book. It is within those final chapters that I actually felt like grace was real, powerful, and tangible. He cared for the reader at that point. I loved his air war/ground war metaphor and I wish he spent most of the time fleshing out those themes.
The annual breakdown, the 100 tips, the weekly glance, all of those things were good, but they were muddled by all the over-realized (and sometimes incorrect) theology in the former half of the book. Jesus didn't take responsibility for my sin, he atoned for my sin. He wasn't assuming my sin as his own, he was acting as an unblemished sacrifice dying in place of my sin. It's things like that that weakened this book for me.
There were some good pointers in this book, but overall it was the same ol' machismo masquerading as godly manhood. Thankfully it was a quick read.
With that being said, there were redemptive elements to this book, but they largely occurred in the latter half. There was real, practical advice near the end of the book. It is within those final chapters that I actually felt like grace was real, powerful, and tangible. He cared for the reader at that point. I loved his air war/ground war metaphor and I wish he spent most of the time fleshing out those themes.
The annual breakdown, the 100 tips, the weekly glance, all of those things were good, but they were muddled by all the over-realized (and sometimes incorrect) theology in the former half of the book. Jesus didn't take responsibility for my sin, he atoned for my sin. He wasn't assuming my sin as his own, he was acting as an unblemished sacrifice dying in place of my sin. It's things like that that weakened this book for me.
There were some good pointers in this book, but overall it was the same ol' machismo masquerading as godly manhood. Thankfully it was a quick read.
March 1, 2013
A book of its gospel-centered time, and I think that's mostly pretty much all good.
But not completely.
Like those dramatic, one-sentence paragraphs. I'm about to issue a Protestant fatwa against those.
And I felt it was a little fuzzy on the exegetical connection between the Creation Mandate and Buzzard's subsequent application: that a man's most important job in this world is to promote the flourishing of his wife. Can I be a good husband and yet wish for a little firmer Bible on that one?
All negatives done. This was a very good book. It didn't brow-beat me, but continually reminded me what a treasure I have in Laura Elizabeth Ward and what power I have through God's grace to treat her as well as she deserves. It saved the practical tips mostly for the end, which is good, because even I need reminding of the theology of marriage. I do think Buzzard is right to say that just being there (i.e., being present, not leaving the marriage) is not sufficient, because Adam was physically present when his wife was being presented with the worst threat she'd ever faced. And he let her be destroyed. Just being there wasn't enough. Men need to take some planned action.
Justin is a good writer in the genre, an effective popularizer of deeper stuff. And when he comes to the practical tips he really has some good ones. We do learn by example, and I learned from his even though he's apparently the same age as me. I was struck, too, by the truth of a little informal poll he'd done: few of those polled knew more than one or two really good marriages that they desired to emulate. I think that may be because it takes a strong, long-term, personal connection to know that another couple's marriage is exemplary. And how many such connections do I have? I was inspired to learn from those good marriages I have seen and to be such an example to my own children.
I even managed to put the book down without a mean face when I was interrupted by my beautiful wife's return from a shopping trip. So far, the book is working.
But not completely.
Like those dramatic, one-sentence paragraphs. I'm about to issue a Protestant fatwa against those.
And I felt it was a little fuzzy on the exegetical connection between the Creation Mandate and Buzzard's subsequent application: that a man's most important job in this world is to promote the flourishing of his wife. Can I be a good husband and yet wish for a little firmer Bible on that one?
All negatives done. This was a very good book. It didn't brow-beat me, but continually reminded me what a treasure I have in Laura Elizabeth Ward and what power I have through God's grace to treat her as well as she deserves. It saved the practical tips mostly for the end, which is good, because even I need reminding of the theology of marriage. I do think Buzzard is right to say that just being there (i.e., being present, not leaving the marriage) is not sufficient, because Adam was physically present when his wife was being presented with the worst threat she'd ever faced. And he let her be destroyed. Just being there wasn't enough. Men need to take some planned action.
Justin is a good writer in the genre, an effective popularizer of deeper stuff. And when he comes to the practical tips he really has some good ones. We do learn by example, and I learned from his even though he's apparently the same age as me. I was struck, too, by the truth of a little informal poll he'd done: few of those polled knew more than one or two really good marriages that they desired to emulate. I think that may be because it takes a strong, long-term, personal connection to know that another couple's marriage is exemplary. And how many such connections do I have? I was inspired to learn from those good marriages I have seen and to be such an example to my own children.
I even managed to put the book down without a mean face when I was interrupted by my beautiful wife's return from a shopping trip. So far, the book is working.
February 14, 2025
This book makes a lot of good points, but I question the method of delivery. The first few chapters, while they can be accurate, come across a bit too heavy handed for my tastes. The mid to the end of the book has a lot of helpful practical advice.
What keeps me from rating or higher? Tone and writing style, along with a few qualms about motivation and message. It's a good topic, but I feel like there are probably better books out there.
What keeps me from rating or higher? Tone and writing style, along with a few qualms about motivation and message. It's a good topic, but I feel like there are probably better books out there.
September 13, 2025
Great book. Hard book. Breaks you into pieces at the beginning, but not only remakes you but renews you as the book goes on. There’s a lot here that is simply hard to read, but that’s exactly why it’s brilliant.
The first thing you should know is that this is not a book simply about dating - as in the act of taking your wife out on dates - but much, much more about a culture and, as Justin puts it, a battle plan for your entire marriage until the day one of you dies and goes home to Christ. And I’m so glad that it defied my expectation of the book and what I originally came into it wanting to get in that sense, because I now not only have better ideas of how to date my wife but simply how to… well, be married to my wife!
The only real criticism of this book is that it seems to me to be based so heavily on Justin’s own marriage experience to his own wife, Taylor, that he presumes and suggests a lot about what ‘women’ want that, knowing my own wife, strike me as not true for all. For instance, if I “tickled” my wife as Justin suggests me to, I think she’d fast forward us to the ‘til death do us part’ bit and send me to Jesus!
But if you can extrapolate the principles and sentiment underpinning a lot of those things and apply them to your own wife’s needs, wants and likes/dislikes, then you’ve got in this book some great tools for making your marriage healthier. (I presume anyway - I’m yet to implement this book!)
I really hope and pray that I may attain the high standard of becoming the husband that Justin describes in this book. God’s grace and power are my only hope for that.
Well, pray for me if you’re reading this. Time to draw up the battle plan and get to work!
The first thing you should know is that this is not a book simply about dating - as in the act of taking your wife out on dates - but much, much more about a culture and, as Justin puts it, a battle plan for your entire marriage until the day one of you dies and goes home to Christ. And I’m so glad that it defied my expectation of the book and what I originally came into it wanting to get in that sense, because I now not only have better ideas of how to date my wife but simply how to… well, be married to my wife!
The only real criticism of this book is that it seems to me to be based so heavily on Justin’s own marriage experience to his own wife, Taylor, that he presumes and suggests a lot about what ‘women’ want that, knowing my own wife, strike me as not true for all. For instance, if I “tickled” my wife as Justin suggests me to, I think she’d fast forward us to the ‘til death do us part’ bit and send me to Jesus!
But if you can extrapolate the principles and sentiment underpinning a lot of those things and apply them to your own wife’s needs, wants and likes/dislikes, then you’ve got in this book some great tools for making your marriage healthier. (I presume anyway - I’m yet to implement this book!)
I really hope and pray that I may attain the high standard of becoming the husband that Justin describes in this book. God’s grace and power are my only hope for that.
Well, pray for me if you’re reading this. Time to draw up the battle plan and get to work!
April 5, 2024
“The point of marriage isn’t you. The point of your marriage isn’t your wife. The point of your marriage is to date your wife in such a way that showcases Jesus and his power to a world of husbands and wives, men and women, boys and girls, in desperate need of a God who can rescue, reconcile, restore, and redeem their broken lives.” (125-26)
I’m grateful to have read this book and gained a fresh perspective on what it looks like to cultivate the marriage relationship throughout all of life. A man’s pursuit of his wife should not stop on the wedding day; that is just the beginning of the pursuit. Buzzard gives good theological emphasis and lots of practical advice on how to strengthen and sweeten the relationship between husband and wife. His writing style is very frank, which helped grab my attention and keep my interest in this book all the way through. Every Christian husband can read this and be motivated.
I’m grateful to have read this book and gained a fresh perspective on what it looks like to cultivate the marriage relationship throughout all of life. A man’s pursuit of his wife should not stop on the wedding day; that is just the beginning of the pursuit. Buzzard gives good theological emphasis and lots of practical advice on how to strengthen and sweeten the relationship between husband and wife. His writing style is very frank, which helped grab my attention and keep my interest in this book all the way through. Every Christian husband can read this and be motivated.
June 4, 2021
This book accomplishes what the Title says. It is an imperative to men supported by Scripture and experience. This may have been the most important book that I read this year. It is not profound. It is Justin Buzzard kicking a man in the butt with a convicting command to do what we all know we should. And it is for that reason that this gets five stars. Do yourself a favor. Take your time through this. Be honest. And read every single page, especially the appendices.
July 24, 2018
6 stars.
100% a MUST read for husbands whether their marriage was yesterday or years ago.
100% a MUST read for husbands whether their marriage was yesterday or years ago.
November 20, 2023
Solid unpacking of gospel in light of first marriage of Adam and Eve.
Most of the marriage stories were very ‘neat’. Would’ve loved to hear how to invest in your wife when it’s messy and in the difficult times. Also very American. Helpful reminder to care for my wife and continue planning for time spent together. Encouraged growth in taking initiative as a husband.
Most of the marriage stories were very ‘neat’. Would’ve loved to hear how to invest in your wife when it’s messy and in the difficult times. Also very American. Helpful reminder to care for my wife and continue planning for time spent together. Encouraged growth in taking initiative as a husband.
June 13, 2012
Date of writing the review 5/22/12
I was looking forward to reading this book. Loved the premise. As a married woman, I thought this would be a potentially good/fun/thought provoking book to work on with my husband. It wasn't.
The style of writing is quick and easy (probably eighth grade level), however, it comes across as a sermon. A sermon giving by someone who sees the world good or bad, no shades of grey here. One example of this is the fist (hand) that points at you, which is depicted at the beginning of each chapter. Haven't we had enough blame in the world?
Even though the author is asking men to take responsibility for their marriage and to be involved, which is good. He bible thumps his way through his interpretations of biblical passages, to support his ideas. Must we go to Adam and Eve for relevance for our marriages?
Then he tries to be clever by explaining the origination of marriage, by making up this weird story of a man who invented marriage in 1764. Only to come back to the premise that God invented marriage. First, only an American with limited awareness of other cultures would think marriage could only be in existence for the same amount of time as our country. Second, the story was boring and had no bearing on the chapter.
After getting to the midpoint of this book, I stopped reading. I would be embarrassed to offer this book to my husband to read because it implies he's at fault for breathing. It is rare that I give such a negative review, but it's imperative that folks know what they are buying.
From a professional perspective as an educator and ministerial student, this is not a book I could recommend.
October 6, 2012
There's nothing particularly earth-shattering in this book, but I actually take that to be a good thing. Buzzard comes at marriage with gospel focus, which strips him of any opportunity to tell us something "flashy or fresh," which is what we might read in another, less-grounded book for husbands. This is old news. And I like that.
Many husbands will need to read this to kick-start their pursuit of their wives. Far too many guys are doing to honor the Lord by chasing their wives. But many husbands will not need to read this, and I suspect that some very good husbands will finish this book feeling like they are doing a much worse job in marriage than they actually are.
Buzzard obviously has a great passion to pursue his wife that has led to a solid marriage. At times, this will come across "pie-in-the-sky" and at other times condescending. But what it does is give otherwise lazy men something solid to shoot for.
I like the premise. I love the gospel foundation. I will recommend this book to some husbands, but definitely not all of them.
Many husbands will need to read this to kick-start their pursuit of their wives. Far too many guys are doing to honor the Lord by chasing their wives. But many husbands will not need to read this, and I suspect that some very good husbands will finish this book feeling like they are doing a much worse job in marriage than they actually are.
Buzzard obviously has a great passion to pursue his wife that has led to a solid marriage. At times, this will come across "pie-in-the-sky" and at other times condescending. But what it does is give otherwise lazy men something solid to shoot for.
I like the premise. I love the gospel foundation. I will recommend this book to some husbands, but definitely not all of them.
October 29, 2024
I’ve had this on my shelf for a while and had been excited to read it. There are some great application suggestions. The broad premise of men pursuing their wives is noble, good and something I will be implementing more intentionally. But, as another reviewer pointed out, his shaky scriptural foundation, lack of marital experience or marital counseling credential, reduced his authority.
November 8, 2024
An interesting read - some of it I found a bit strange and asked my wife if she would like being called “my girlfriend” as the book suggests and she said “no” 😂. Nonetheless, it kept on topic and gave me some really good ideas for dates and encouragement for how to cultivate my marriage. I will go back to this book in the future as a resource and I particularly liked his suggestion regarding having an air-war plan and ground-war plan.
September 19, 2024
This book has some good and practical ideas but I particularly enjoyed chapter 7 on “the husband’s gospel”!!
November 9, 2025
I really like this book. Get past the cheesy writing and there’s some really good principles and practical advice. Will definitely be recommending to others.
November 12, 2025
This book serves as a great reminder to invest in our marriages and it’s super practical!
January 9, 2013
We men must learn to cultivate and keep the garden of our marriage (ch. 4; cf. Gen. 2:15). Additionally, we need power--the power of God--in order to properly carry out our responsibilities. Responsibility, according to Buzzard, is "my response to his [God's] ability" (66, 78) and "my response to the One who took responsibility for my mess" (78). These were very helpful theological insights.
The book, however, has misinterpretations of the Bible. Oddly enough, Buzzard seems to think that our earthly marriages will somehow continue in heaven:
Well, I don't think it's wise to reject Jesus' clear teaching that there is no marriage in heaven, and it's not based on just one verse. In Luke 20:34-36 Jesus gives a more complete explanation of why postresurrection marriage won't be necessary:
We will neither die nor have more kids in heaven, so we won't marry anymore. Furthermore, there will only be one marriage in heaven--Christ the Husband and His bride the church (Rev. 19:7-9)--and the natural order of marriage and of men and women will disappear because in Christ men and women are spiritually equal (cf. Gal. 3:28; see my review of Piper's What's the Difference? at http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...). Otherwise, we're left with the same question the Sadducees used to test Jesus: Who will a woman be married to in heaven if she was married more than once in this life? (Luke 24:33)
Another more serious error is Buzzard's claim that Adam received God's grace before he had done anything wrong:
This is neither the Gospel nor some other form of God's grace, and it is a subtle denial of the covenant of works. God made Adam in His own image and declared Adam, as well as the rest of creation, to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31). Adam and Eve were made originally righteous: "God made humankind upright, but they have sought many evil schemes" (Eccles. 7:29 NET). God placed Adam and Eve under a probationary period, and they would have gained eternal life if they had obeyed (Gen. 2:15-17, 3:22-24; Hosea 6:7). It was not until they had sinned by eating the forbidden fruit that "they fell from their original righteousness, and communion with God, and so became dead in sin and wholly defiled in all the faculties and parts of soul and body" (Westminster Confession vi:2).
The first real sign of God's grace was in Genesis 3, when, instead of immediately giving Adam and Eve the death sentence they deserved for disobeying, God prophesied of a future savior--the seed of the woman (v. 15), or, in Buzzard's words, the "Serpent Crusher"--and clothed Adam and Eve with animal skins to cover their sin (v. 21). This is the Protoevangelium. Grace can only be applied when we have done something wrong.
Other than that, the book was very good.
The book, however, has misinterpretations of the Bible. Oddly enough, Buzzard seems to think that our earthly marriages will somehow continue in heaven:
I know Matthew 22:30 says, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven," but I don't think it's wise to construct an entire postresurrection, antimarriage, theology from this one verse. Whatever marriage relationships look like in heaven, they will be better than what they are right now. (147-48)
Well, I don't think it's wise to reject Jesus' clear teaching that there is no marriage in heaven, and it's not based on just one verse. In Luke 20:34-36 Jesus gives a more complete explanation of why postresurrection marriage won't be necessary:
The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. (ESV)
We will neither die nor have more kids in heaven, so we won't marry anymore. Furthermore, there will only be one marriage in heaven--Christ the Husband and His bride the church (Rev. 19:7-9)--and the natural order of marriage and of men and women will disappear because in Christ men and women are spiritually equal (cf. Gal. 3:28; see my review of Piper's What's the Difference? at http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...). Otherwise, we're left with the same question the Sadducees used to test Jesus: Who will a woman be married to in heaven if she was married more than once in this life? (Luke 24:33)
Or do you not know, brothers and sisters--for I [Paul] am speaking to those who know the law--that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.... A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:39)
Another more serious error is Buzzard's claim that Adam received God's grace before he had done anything wrong:
Adam's Genesis 2:15 calling was meant to flow out of Adam's Genesis 1:31 identity. God told Adam what he thought about him; he gave Adam his approval--before Adam lifted a finger in the garden. Adam received his God-approved identity before he had a chance to do anything to prove himself. This is what we call grace, or the gospel--the good news of receiving favor from God what we don't deserve or earn. (73)
This is neither the Gospel nor some other form of God's grace, and it is a subtle denial of the covenant of works. God made Adam in His own image and declared Adam, as well as the rest of creation, to be "very good" (Gen. 1:31). Adam and Eve were made originally righteous: "God made humankind upright, but they have sought many evil schemes" (Eccles. 7:29 NET). God placed Adam and Eve under a probationary period, and they would have gained eternal life if they had obeyed (Gen. 2:15-17, 3:22-24; Hosea 6:7). It was not until they had sinned by eating the forbidden fruit that "they fell from their original righteousness, and communion with God, and so became dead in sin and wholly defiled in all the faculties and parts of soul and body" (Westminster Confession vi:2).
The first real sign of God's grace was in Genesis 3, when, instead of immediately giving Adam and Eve the death sentence they deserved for disobeying, God prophesied of a future savior--the seed of the woman (v. 15), or, in Buzzard's words, the "Serpent Crusher"--and clothed Adam and Eve with animal skins to cover their sin (v. 21). This is the Protoevangelium. Grace can only be applied when we have done something wrong.
Other than that, the book was very good.
September 20, 2021
While this book might have some practical advice for a few men, it has a lot of problems. The biggest problem is the author Justin Buzzard speaks so authoritatively as if he's an expert. But by no means is he one. It's great to talk about one's experience, but it's not great to say that one's experience should apply to all. A lot of people who are not White men will find this book to uphold subversive themes of white supremacy. Any well educated person in racial and ethnic studies can see this right off the bat. While I believe he is well intentioned, his ignorance and bad underlying assumptions of men are quite harmful. It whispers a lot of toxic masculinity, and it low-key shames men when I think he meant to encouragement men. The author seems a bit narcissistic and might need to work on decentering himself and not paint himself as the hero of the story. I would take some of his advice very lightly and apply it appropriately to the context, which applies mostly to White Men. Non-Whites should tread carefully and not let this garbage make them feel less manly.
February 20, 2017
This wasn't a BAD book it just wasn't well written. It may be a personal preference but there were far too many stories and it just got redundant at times. I feel the bulk of the book would have been better suited for a short blog series. He also seems to assume a "relationship not religion" ideology which is troubling.
I liked that he clearly spelled out the Gospel and related it back to marriage. Although he gave fairly niche examples, I liked his date your wife weekly and annual plans. I need to put more effort into planning dates. I also liked that he provided ideas.
Would I recommend this book? Maybe. The bulk of this book is an intro to the theology of marriage which will either be a wordy refresh or a frustrating redundancy. I would probably recommend this to someone newly married/engaged or a new married believer (but giving them a heads up on his erroneous perspective on religion). I would have highlighted a couple chapters here and there if I were to recommend this book to my past self.
I liked that he clearly spelled out the Gospel and related it back to marriage. Although he gave fairly niche examples, I liked his date your wife weekly and annual plans. I need to put more effort into planning dates. I also liked that he provided ideas.
Would I recommend this book? Maybe. The bulk of this book is an intro to the theology of marriage which will either be a wordy refresh or a frustrating redundancy. I would probably recommend this to someone newly married/engaged or a new married believer (but giving them a heads up on his erroneous perspective on religion). I would have highlighted a couple chapters here and there if I were to recommend this book to my past self.
May 11, 2018
“Men, remember Jesus is the change maker in your marriage, not you.” This and the 2nd half of the book are why I am giving it 4 stars & not 3. In the first half of the book, while there were some great things & Buzzard is a great writer, I got bogged down in some of the personal stories becoming too much. Also, I will be very careful who I recommend this book to as a pastor because of a big mistake in Chapter 3. Rather than simply talking about the wonder of God’s gift of sex, Buzzard talks about how often he and his wife do it. I have counseled enough men struggling in their marriages to know that this will ruin the book for some men as they will tune out everything else that could be gold for their marriage because they are not meeting Buzzard’s ideal. So on the one hand in this area & others he can come across as too “macho.” On the other hand, I give this book 4 stars because it greatly helped me in pursuing my wife! The last 3 chapters were worth the price of the book. The yearly “air war” for dating your wife and weekly “ground war,” could be life-changing and exactly the practicality I needed & will use to help others. The chapter on death/eternity from a gospel perspective was phenomenal.
August 19, 2013
Despite the title, this is a great book about marriage for blokes. There are quite a few good marriage books around lately, but this one is the shortest, so that moves it to the top of the list! It's based on the gospel -- we can love our wives because Jesus first loved us. It's very practical, with quite a few ideas that are actually doable and realistic. One of the endorsements on the back says its "a book that will not make men feel guilty", and I'd say it lived up to that. Of course its a shame that reading good marriage books doesn't automatically make your marriage perfect -- but I've put a few things from Date Your Wife into action already, and that has been good, so there's a recommendation right there. I will say that Justin Buzzard does come across as one of those perfect American husbands who thought of everything first time around, which makes makes him a bit hard to relate to at a few points...
May 6, 2013
A good idea. Some very practical pointers. A call to men to wake up and faithfully exercise their God-given masculinity to pursue their wives. Yet, I did not find the book to be very strong. I have to agree with http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/...
October 8, 2013
I did not like it one bit.
June 26, 2012
Justin Buzzard has written a helpful book entitled "Date Your Wife" which I would like to commend to you.
The premise of the book is quite simple: men should date their wives. Before marriage husbands often pursue their wives, once they are married, as Justin points out, we often stop dating and pursuing our wives. Once we "have them" as it were, we stop pursuing them and cultivating a relationship with them. We often leave our marriage in maintenance mode.
While the premise of the book is simple and straight forward as the title suggest, the path by which the reader is taken is one that we often would generally not expect when it comes to most treatments of the topic of dating. Justin is thoroughly gospel centered. I never thought I would see a book that expounds how and why to date one's wife so undergirded with a basic "two-Adam" scheme that is central to the gospel story line. To this I cannot say "Bravo" loud enough.
Justin writes out of a rich theology that is found in the pages to Scripture yet his style is conversational, down-to-earth, and pastoral. This means those who like theology will be enriched, but those who rarely read books and hate theological tomes will find this book winsome, applicable and engaging.
The basic plot line of the book is creation-fall-redemption-restoration although the actual divisions are titled: "Good" (two chapters on God's creation of marriage), "Bad" (three chapters on what's wrong with husbands), "The New" (six chapters, first with the gospel, then with practical applications for action) and "The Perfect" (a final chapter on the goal of marriage and the future of our glorification).
If you are expecting a book that makes you feel guilty, this one will but not in a legalistic sense. Most relationship books make you feel guilt for all you are not doing by telling you everything you should be doing. This book gets right to the heart of the problem: the problem is sin. The problem is that every husband is in Adam. The problem is every husband has a "religious" view of marriage. We think if we just try harder God will bless our lives.
Justin Buzzard challenges us to find our sufficiency and identity as men and husbands in Christ and his work. The best part about the book is how it takes you back to the gospel at the core. So when Buzzard convicts you and motivates you it is always with an eye to Jesus.
As I read this book, I was impressed by how personable and relatable the book was. Often the basic content is wrapped in a story or example. The book is also quite practical with actionable solutions to build an "air war" and a "ground war" in cultivating your marriage. Each chapter concludes with a series on introspective questions. There is an appendix of 100 suggestions for dating your wife. The creative husband will be pushed to think of more in order to tailor things to his marriage.
I highly recommend this book. I would give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.
This is the kind of book that you can give to husbands but pastors can give in the expectation that it not just builds husbands but will build disciples. This is also the kind of book you can read quickly without getting bogged down but you can also read richly finding deep gems to ponder. Justin's first main goal is to make you love Jesus more--and the book accomplishes that task while it teaches us how to date our wives.
Three minor theological points of question or disagreement:
1. Buzzard makes Genesis 2:15 as central to the husbands mission that he guard and cultivate his wife. Technically though, Genesis 2:15 is not instructions for how we relate to our wives but how Adam (and humanity) relate the the Temple-Garden and exercise vice-regency. The wife is the helpmate to that mission not the object of it. Justin's point is right (men should guard and keep/cultivate their wives by ministering to them) but his use of this Scripture is at best an implication rather than the command of Genesis 2:15 he wants to make it. That said, husbands should guard and cultivate their wives. One would probably be better making the point from Song of Songs or Ephesians 5 since Genesis 2:15 relates to the garden of Eden.
2. Buzzard confused me with his imprecise notion that there was "gospel" given in the pre-fall state. He writes the following:
"Adam's Genesis 2:15 calling was meant to flow out of Adam's Genesis 1:31 identity. God told Adam what he thought about him; he gave Adam his approval--before Adam lifted a finger in the garden. Adam received his God-approved identity before he had a chance to do anything to prove himself. This is what we call grace, or the gospel--the good news of receiving favor from God that we don't deserve or earn." (p.73)
Buzzard is right that Adam had a royal endowment as being made in God's image. Adam had an identity in God. However, Adam was, I think, put on probation. Not all theologians and scholars agree with a covenant of works, but if true Adam was certainly not created in the eschatological glory state. His full identity was not there yet. So Adam's job obediently finished would have secured the garden had he obeyed (see Beale's A New Testament Biblical Theology). Adam didn't have it all and even then failed. Thus, Christ had to be second Adam passing the covenant probation by offering Adamic-obedience as well as atoning for sin. Buzzard seems to have a notion that Adam's fault was he tried to earn his identity, a salvation by works. But this to me misses the clear covenant probation in the garden.
More important, while Adam was gifted with a role in the garden, and that was from the kindness of God, it was neither grace nor gospel. Grace should clearly be seen as post-fall. Grace is generally defined as favor extended where wrath is deserved. There was God's favor in the garden on Adam pre-fall but not grace, which is post-fall. There is certainly not gospel until Genesis 3:15. That said, Buzzard's over all point seems true that Adam should have believed and accepted his identity as an empowering to do the task he was given.
In his attempt to get sinful husbands today to stop thinking they will "earn" their marriage's health and cultivate it in religion's 'salvation by works,' I think Buzzard pushes the "we can't earn it" paradigm too far back into the garden where clearly covenant works were both possible and noble.
3. Buzzard states the following about God's resolution in Genesis 3:
"God listens. Then God curses. God doesn't curse Adam; God curses the Serpent" (p.75)
Buzzard's larger point is there is gospel in this passage when the serpent is cursed. The seed of the woman will crush the seed of the serpent. Amen. Yet it is a misstatement and false to say Adam is not cursed. Yes, the passage surprises us that Adam is not cursed first and even given hope in the curse of the serpent. But Adam is cursed. This is why cultivating and guarding is a failed endeavor in creation now. This is why Adam is removed from the garden. This is why there is death in creation.
With those concerns, the book is still excellent. It grounds dating one's wife in Biblical theology and the story of the gospel. It gives practical advice. It motivates not through guilt but through the sufficiency of the cross. It relies on justification: my identify is secure in Christ, I have all I need because of His work. It relies on sanctification: the Holy Spirit empowers us and changes us to respond to our wives.
Over all, again, a very good book. I would gladly pass it on to men in my church. Husbands: please get this book.
The premise of the book is quite simple: men should date their wives. Before marriage husbands often pursue their wives, once they are married, as Justin points out, we often stop dating and pursuing our wives. Once we "have them" as it were, we stop pursuing them and cultivating a relationship with them. We often leave our marriage in maintenance mode.
While the premise of the book is simple and straight forward as the title suggest, the path by which the reader is taken is one that we often would generally not expect when it comes to most treatments of the topic of dating. Justin is thoroughly gospel centered. I never thought I would see a book that expounds how and why to date one's wife so undergirded with a basic "two-Adam" scheme that is central to the gospel story line. To this I cannot say "Bravo" loud enough.
Justin writes out of a rich theology that is found in the pages to Scripture yet his style is conversational, down-to-earth, and pastoral. This means those who like theology will be enriched, but those who rarely read books and hate theological tomes will find this book winsome, applicable and engaging.
The basic plot line of the book is creation-fall-redemption-restoration although the actual divisions are titled: "Good" (two chapters on God's creation of marriage), "Bad" (three chapters on what's wrong with husbands), "The New" (six chapters, first with the gospel, then with practical applications for action) and "The Perfect" (a final chapter on the goal of marriage and the future of our glorification).
If you are expecting a book that makes you feel guilty, this one will but not in a legalistic sense. Most relationship books make you feel guilt for all you are not doing by telling you everything you should be doing. This book gets right to the heart of the problem: the problem is sin. The problem is that every husband is in Adam. The problem is every husband has a "religious" view of marriage. We think if we just try harder God will bless our lives.
Justin Buzzard challenges us to find our sufficiency and identity as men and husbands in Christ and his work. The best part about the book is how it takes you back to the gospel at the core. So when Buzzard convicts you and motivates you it is always with an eye to Jesus.
As I read this book, I was impressed by how personable and relatable the book was. Often the basic content is wrapped in a story or example. The book is also quite practical with actionable solutions to build an "air war" and a "ground war" in cultivating your marriage. Each chapter concludes with a series on introspective questions. There is an appendix of 100 suggestions for dating your wife. The creative husband will be pushed to think of more in order to tailor things to his marriage.
I highly recommend this book. I would give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.
This is the kind of book that you can give to husbands but pastors can give in the expectation that it not just builds husbands but will build disciples. This is also the kind of book you can read quickly without getting bogged down but you can also read richly finding deep gems to ponder. Justin's first main goal is to make you love Jesus more--and the book accomplishes that task while it teaches us how to date our wives.
Three minor theological points of question or disagreement:
1. Buzzard makes Genesis 2:15 as central to the husbands mission that he guard and cultivate his wife. Technically though, Genesis 2:15 is not instructions for how we relate to our wives but how Adam (and humanity) relate the the Temple-Garden and exercise vice-regency. The wife is the helpmate to that mission not the object of it. Justin's point is right (men should guard and keep/cultivate their wives by ministering to them) but his use of this Scripture is at best an implication rather than the command of Genesis 2:15 he wants to make it. That said, husbands should guard and cultivate their wives. One would probably be better making the point from Song of Songs or Ephesians 5 since Genesis 2:15 relates to the garden of Eden.
2. Buzzard confused me with his imprecise notion that there was "gospel" given in the pre-fall state. He writes the following:
"Adam's Genesis 2:15 calling was meant to flow out of Adam's Genesis 1:31 identity. God told Adam what he thought about him; he gave Adam his approval--before Adam lifted a finger in the garden. Adam received his God-approved identity before he had a chance to do anything to prove himself. This is what we call grace, or the gospel--the good news of receiving favor from God that we don't deserve or earn." (p.73)
Buzzard is right that Adam had a royal endowment as being made in God's image. Adam had an identity in God. However, Adam was, I think, put on probation. Not all theologians and scholars agree with a covenant of works, but if true Adam was certainly not created in the eschatological glory state. His full identity was not there yet. So Adam's job obediently finished would have secured the garden had he obeyed (see Beale's A New Testament Biblical Theology). Adam didn't have it all and even then failed. Thus, Christ had to be second Adam passing the covenant probation by offering Adamic-obedience as well as atoning for sin. Buzzard seems to have a notion that Adam's fault was he tried to earn his identity, a salvation by works. But this to me misses the clear covenant probation in the garden.
More important, while Adam was gifted with a role in the garden, and that was from the kindness of God, it was neither grace nor gospel. Grace should clearly be seen as post-fall. Grace is generally defined as favor extended where wrath is deserved. There was God's favor in the garden on Adam pre-fall but not grace, which is post-fall. There is certainly not gospel until Genesis 3:15. That said, Buzzard's over all point seems true that Adam should have believed and accepted his identity as an empowering to do the task he was given.
In his attempt to get sinful husbands today to stop thinking they will "earn" their marriage's health and cultivate it in religion's 'salvation by works,' I think Buzzard pushes the "we can't earn it" paradigm too far back into the garden where clearly covenant works were both possible and noble.
3. Buzzard states the following about God's resolution in Genesis 3:
"God listens. Then God curses. God doesn't curse Adam; God curses the Serpent" (p.75)
Buzzard's larger point is there is gospel in this passage when the serpent is cursed. The seed of the woman will crush the seed of the serpent. Amen. Yet it is a misstatement and false to say Adam is not cursed. Yes, the passage surprises us that Adam is not cursed first and even given hope in the curse of the serpent. But Adam is cursed. This is why cultivating and guarding is a failed endeavor in creation now. This is why Adam is removed from the garden. This is why there is death in creation.
With those concerns, the book is still excellent. It grounds dating one's wife in Biblical theology and the story of the gospel. It gives practical advice. It motivates not through guilt but through the sufficiency of the cross. It relies on justification: my identify is secure in Christ, I have all I need because of His work. It relies on sanctification: the Holy Spirit empowers us and changes us to respond to our wives.
Over all, again, a very good book. I would gladly pass it on to men in my church. Husbands: please get this book.
March 31, 2018
I'm really grateful for this book from Justin Buzzard because it is gospel based and immensely practical, two rare traits to find one book. Drawn from a growing frustration that marriages in the church weren't as healthy as the should be, Buzzard realized it was because husbands didn't know how to date their wives after they were married. You can tell from reading the book that Justin and Taylor have a healthy, fun, and Jesus focused marriage that most of us strive for and desire and that is what makes the book so good.
Most of the book focuses on the gospel and the need for men to first embrace the truth of their sinfulness and the need for new life in Jesus. If we don't start here we miss the main point of marriage on every level. Justin then works for us husbands to see the need to depend on the work and power of Christ in us to be men who date their wives well and in such a way to point others to Jesus.
The latter part of the book is intensely practical and serves as a roadmap for husbands who want to do better with dating their wives. This alone made the book worth the costs. Often men, me included, can feel intimidated to push ourselves to try something like dating our wives. We don't want to be laughed at, we don't want to be second guessed, and most importantly we don't want to fail. Justin helps insure that doesn't happen by providing a superb, detailed way to date your wife monthly and weekly.
Lastly, I was most appreciative that the book didn't boil down to men just need more sex so here are some ways to serve your wife to get the sex you desire. Rather, when sex is talked about it is situated spiritually as a means of grace and warfare. Most couples don't talk about this reality of sex in marriage enough. If husbands and wives can create a new paradigm for discussing sex in their marriage then they can move past the "we can't agree, he needs it all the time and I need it never" impasse that seems to plague most couples.
I highly recommend this book not only for its gospel rich content but for its practical ways to apply the gospel in the life giving, sacrificial service of one's wife.
Most of the book focuses on the gospel and the need for men to first embrace the truth of their sinfulness and the need for new life in Jesus. If we don't start here we miss the main point of marriage on every level. Justin then works for us husbands to see the need to depend on the work and power of Christ in us to be men who date their wives well and in such a way to point others to Jesus.
The latter part of the book is intensely practical and serves as a roadmap for husbands who want to do better with dating their wives. This alone made the book worth the costs. Often men, me included, can feel intimidated to push ourselves to try something like dating our wives. We don't want to be laughed at, we don't want to be second guessed, and most importantly we don't want to fail. Justin helps insure that doesn't happen by providing a superb, detailed way to date your wife monthly and weekly.
Lastly, I was most appreciative that the book didn't boil down to men just need more sex so here are some ways to serve your wife to get the sex you desire. Rather, when sex is talked about it is situated spiritually as a means of grace and warfare. Most couples don't talk about this reality of sex in marriage enough. If husbands and wives can create a new paradigm for discussing sex in their marriage then they can move past the "we can't agree, he needs it all the time and I need it never" impasse that seems to plague most couples.
I highly recommend this book not only for its gospel rich content but for its practical ways to apply the gospel in the life giving, sacrificial service of one's wife.
June 29, 2019
For Tim Challies 2019 reading challenge in the light section he has a category for a book targeted at the opposite gender, thus I chose a short book that had been sitting on our shelf that I could read quickly. I thought it would be an easy read, but this book is deep for it's short length.
This book is greatly needed today as marriage is frequently being attacked and we're told what we do and have possession wise is far more important than our relationships. This book cuts to the heart be telling men your marriage is your most important earthly relationship and only through a relationship with Christ can you even hope to do it well. Reading it as a female I do appreciate how direct Justin is. He does not mince words and tells it like it is. There is no guessing. Love that!
I absolutely believe every man should read this book. It's so life giving for a marriage in it's principles. Now ladies, I do not recommend you give this book to your husband. Instead find a way for a guy friend to recommend it or pray for God to put it in his hands some way. You giving it to him would likely undo the good to come from it.
Ladies if you want to read it used it for prayer, not telling your husband everything he's doing wrong. At times it was hard for me to read because of hurts, but it helped me pray in a new way. It also showed me things I can teach my boys. My biggest take away was that I need to teach my boys to pray for their future wife starting now! My older boys all talk about getting married and they need to learn these basic concepts now. It will definitely give them a head start on dating their wives.
There is a note from Justin's wife, Taylor, at the end that reminds us to be datable. Remember a marriage is two people and if we're holding our husbands to unrealistic expectations we're doing them a disservice. We're all sinners that need to improve and grow in Christ-likeness.
I love the style. I love the practical suggestions. I love the call to examine yourself. This was a great book all around.
5 stars with all the recommendation I can give it!
This book is greatly needed today as marriage is frequently being attacked and we're told what we do and have possession wise is far more important than our relationships. This book cuts to the heart be telling men your marriage is your most important earthly relationship and only through a relationship with Christ can you even hope to do it well. Reading it as a female I do appreciate how direct Justin is. He does not mince words and tells it like it is. There is no guessing. Love that!
I absolutely believe every man should read this book. It's so life giving for a marriage in it's principles. Now ladies, I do not recommend you give this book to your husband. Instead find a way for a guy friend to recommend it or pray for God to put it in his hands some way. You giving it to him would likely undo the good to come from it.
Ladies if you want to read it used it for prayer, not telling your husband everything he's doing wrong. At times it was hard for me to read because of hurts, but it helped me pray in a new way. It also showed me things I can teach my boys. My biggest take away was that I need to teach my boys to pray for their future wife starting now! My older boys all talk about getting married and they need to learn these basic concepts now. It will definitely give them a head start on dating their wives.
There is a note from Justin's wife, Taylor, at the end that reminds us to be datable. Remember a marriage is two people and if we're holding our husbands to unrealistic expectations we're doing them a disservice. We're all sinners that need to improve and grow in Christ-likeness.
I love the style. I love the practical suggestions. I love the call to examine yourself. This was a great book all around.
5 stars with all the recommendation I can give it!
September 25, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed this book–and way more than I expected I might. I feel the title is misleading. It sounds and looks like a macho man book that will all just be about how to take your wife on good dates. And although at times Buzzard comes off a tad bit too macho for me, the book is quite different than expected.
I think the best way to describe this book is that it is a marriage book written mainly toward those who are already married. It is written mainly towards men for sure, but as Buzzard makes clear, women I think can benefit from it too.
As a result, it isn't a book about marriage generally, like Piper's This Momentary Marriage or Keller's The Meaning of Marriage are. Rather, it is book specifically meant to help out existing marriages–theologically and very practically. This was very different and beneficial.
I will keep going back to this book for advice and direction. Its practicality is great as well. I'm very glad it was written and would recommend it to any married man for sure.
[As a side note, I'm a little surprised at the semi-poor reviews the book has received from some men. Most, it seems, attack some of Buzzard's exegetical points about marriage at times. And sure, I get what they could be saying a tad bit, but I think they're way too strict and I think Buzzard's theological points are by far mostly valid. Moreover, by focusing on those, I think many people miss the exciting push of the book to be a genuinely and practically better husband.]
I think the best way to describe this book is that it is a marriage book written mainly toward those who are already married. It is written mainly towards men for sure, but as Buzzard makes clear, women I think can benefit from it too.
As a result, it isn't a book about marriage generally, like Piper's This Momentary Marriage or Keller's The Meaning of Marriage are. Rather, it is book specifically meant to help out existing marriages–theologically and very practically. This was very different and beneficial.
I will keep going back to this book for advice and direction. Its practicality is great as well. I'm very glad it was written and would recommend it to any married man for sure.
[As a side note, I'm a little surprised at the semi-poor reviews the book has received from some men. Most, it seems, attack some of Buzzard's exegetical points about marriage at times. And sure, I get what they could be saying a tad bit, but I think they're way too strict and I think Buzzard's theological points are by far mostly valid. Moreover, by focusing on those, I think many people miss the exciting push of the book to be a genuinely and practically better husband.]
April 23, 2018
Today I read the book “Date Your Wife” by Justin Buzzard. This book has been sitting on my bookshelf for some time. I think it was a gift from my father-in-law (should I take that as a hint?). The book is well written, easy to read, practical and gospel centered. These ingredients make it a worthwhile investment of time to read.
Mr. Buzzard is an apt storyteller. This ability to tell a story allows one to quickly read his prose while absorbing his themes. Buzzard reminds us that marriage is an institution that goes back to the book of Genesis and it is foundational to our society and it is important to God. In an age that devalues marriage, this is a helpful reminder.
The author really doesn’t plow any new ground in this book. Like many books, the reader is reminded what he already knows. But this book is a helpful reminder nonetheless. A book like this helps the reader refocus of how amazing marriage can be and how sustained effort can lead to spectacular results. With this in mind, Buzzard provides a practical master plan for a man to date his wife.
Connie and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage next month. That is a milestone. But a marriage, like a garden, needs to be faithfully tended. And this book makes me desire to put more purposeful effort into my marriage so the next 30 years will be even better. With that result in mind, I believe the author accomplished his goal. I have a lot of date planning to do! Happy reading
Mr. Buzzard is an apt storyteller. This ability to tell a story allows one to quickly read his prose while absorbing his themes. Buzzard reminds us that marriage is an institution that goes back to the book of Genesis and it is foundational to our society and it is important to God. In an age that devalues marriage, this is a helpful reminder.
The author really doesn’t plow any new ground in this book. Like many books, the reader is reminded what he already knows. But this book is a helpful reminder nonetheless. A book like this helps the reader refocus of how amazing marriage can be and how sustained effort can lead to spectacular results. With this in mind, Buzzard provides a practical master plan for a man to date his wife.
Connie and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage next month. That is a milestone. But a marriage, like a garden, needs to be faithfully tended. And this book makes me desire to put more purposeful effort into my marriage so the next 30 years will be even better. With that result in mind, I believe the author accomplished his goal. I have a lot of date planning to do! Happy reading
March 13, 2023
While I gave the book 2 stars, I give that mainly because the writing and topics felt pretty bare bones. I feel like some more transitional paragraphs and details would have been nice. Sometimes the new paragraphs felt like abrupt jolts. I think this was intended to get your attention, but it felt like a cheap jump-scare.
The topics and advice were okay. He spends a lot of time explaining how the Gospel applies to your marriage. Some of that was helpful.
The best parts of the book for me were the homework assignments at the end of each chapter. The earlier challenges were doable, like recreate your first date with your wife, ask your wife this question, ect. The later homework assignments started to become less doable(Read the whole New Testament in 3 months, which is something I plan to do, just not in 3 months) or vague(Believe the Gospel). But if I felt like I was capable of doing it, I did the assignment. There's also a list of 100 ideas for dating your wife which had some fun/creative tips. They aren't all date ideas, some are simple things you can do throughout the course of the day.
I appreciate that the book got me thinking about marriage and reminded me to enjoy and develop my relationship with my wife. But it's not really a book filled with date ideas and ways to make marriage more fun particularly, which is what I was expecting the book to be about.
The topics and advice were okay. He spends a lot of time explaining how the Gospel applies to your marriage. Some of that was helpful.
The best parts of the book for me were the homework assignments at the end of each chapter. The earlier challenges were doable, like recreate your first date with your wife, ask your wife this question, ect. The later homework assignments started to become less doable(Read the whole New Testament in 3 months, which is something I plan to do, just not in 3 months) or vague(Believe the Gospel). But if I felt like I was capable of doing it, I did the assignment. There's also a list of 100 ideas for dating your wife which had some fun/creative tips. They aren't all date ideas, some are simple things you can do throughout the course of the day.
I appreciate that the book got me thinking about marriage and reminded me to enjoy and develop my relationship with my wife. But it's not really a book filled with date ideas and ways to make marriage more fun particularly, which is what I was expecting the book to be about.
March 28, 2020
Dating your wife?
The book started off good and I was eager to delve into it. Started off with a story that captures you, but soon drifted off to inauthentic and robotic.
More like a sermon. Stating Jesus this Jesus that, God this, God that. There’s a lot of talk about how when Jesus enters your life, everything changes and life is wonderful, but how many people don’t experience this ? The author is pushing the agenda of Christianity over the concept of dating your wife in my opinion. The author also reiterates many passages from the Bible without any proof or real life examples that what he’s quoting is true. Just because it’s in the Bible doesn’t make it true or a blanket statement that changes everyone’s life. Though there’s some good points, I really can’t relate to anything that paraphrases passage after passage from the Bible claiming “this works.” Where’s your individual thought process ? Where’s your opinion that isn’t heavily influenced by the Bible? It really is another Christian book with various passages from the Bible. It really doesn’t stand out from many others because it’s just sharing what many other authors, preachers, etc are sharing. The author makes life seem like a fairy tale and that without Jesus, you won’t have a great relationship. Sounds rough. Sounds controlling.
The book started off good and I was eager to delve into it. Started off with a story that captures you, but soon drifted off to inauthentic and robotic.
More like a sermon. Stating Jesus this Jesus that, God this, God that. There’s a lot of talk about how when Jesus enters your life, everything changes and life is wonderful, but how many people don’t experience this ? The author is pushing the agenda of Christianity over the concept of dating your wife in my opinion. The author also reiterates many passages from the Bible without any proof or real life examples that what he’s quoting is true. Just because it’s in the Bible doesn’t make it true or a blanket statement that changes everyone’s life. Though there’s some good points, I really can’t relate to anything that paraphrases passage after passage from the Bible claiming “this works.” Where’s your individual thought process ? Where’s your opinion that isn’t heavily influenced by the Bible? It really is another Christian book with various passages from the Bible. It really doesn’t stand out from many others because it’s just sharing what many other authors, preachers, etc are sharing. The author makes life seem like a fairy tale and that without Jesus, you won’t have a great relationship. Sounds rough. Sounds controlling.
October 25, 2023
This book follows the standard format of most of these self help types of book on how to get a better marriage. One thing Buzzard focused on was bad marriages are men's faults, so just accept it and move forward. Apologize and do better men. I personally thought it was a horrible way to make his point, but it will probably work with Beta male types in the Church who feel bad for being men/manly.
Do I think the author had a good point? I think the author had a point with taking responsibility and owning it and as men we should lead and protect, sure. I do not disagree with him. i have also seen plenty of marriages where both parties are at fault and I think women are just as guilty as men of taking their spouse for granted and getting comfortable.
The author does provide a number of date options in the final pages that might help a guy struggling, but all in all, I just did not care for the tone men are the ones who are always to blame, because it is not true. No doubt men can be better, myself included, but we do not shoulder all the fault. The book is a quick read. It has enjoyable moments, but it just does not reach the point I would suggest it to other dudes, except for the date ideas in the back. those are alright and a great inclusion.
Do I think the author had a good point? I think the author had a point with taking responsibility and owning it and as men we should lead and protect, sure. I do not disagree with him. i have also seen plenty of marriages where both parties are at fault and I think women are just as guilty as men of taking their spouse for granted and getting comfortable.
The author does provide a number of date options in the final pages that might help a guy struggling, but all in all, I just did not care for the tone men are the ones who are always to blame, because it is not true. No doubt men can be better, myself included, but we do not shoulder all the fault. The book is a quick read. It has enjoyable moments, but it just does not reach the point I would suggest it to other dudes, except for the date ideas in the back. those are alright and a great inclusion.
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