The Loveless Family: Getting Past Estrangement and Learning How to Love

by Jon P. Bloch

This scholarly and personal exploration of what it is like to grow up feeling unloved describes personality types and syndromes that often manifest, regardless of whether the family unit was "dysfunctional" or not.

Though recent decades have seen a great deal of discussion on the "dysfunctional" family, many people share a different problem, regardless of whether their family was "functional" or they are never given love, or taught how to receive it. This book will establish the concept of the loveless family by investigating scholarship on the subject as well as through the personal reflections and experiences of author Jon P. Bloch.

The Loveless Getting Past Estrangement and Learning How to Love explains what a loveless family is, some of the typical syndromes seen within it, how families may cope with serious physical or mental issues, and how adults who came from a loveless family can develop meaningful relationships. This book is written to be engaging and accessible to the average reader, yet authoritative and also of value to scholars.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help

216 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2011

Reviews

[Rick Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took this book, to help me understand more about relationship, families.

This is concrete book on issues. This gives a glimpse of issues that run into families.

I'd encourage people to read about families, types of families.

Once they do, they'd have experiences, understanding to reflect on their own family journey.


Questions to be asked:

---"What would be a healthy family?"

---"What do you think would be good enough family?"

---"How do you deal with issues in family?"

---"What's the most important thing you could do for your family?"
-Providing for them, physically and emotionally
-Being Available for them
-Taking Interest in their lives
-Owning up your mistakes

---"What do you do when relationships fall apart?"
-Blame or own it.
-Change narrative and bring negative things the person did
-Move on, or believe in it

---"What steps have you taken for relationship?"
-How do people in your family feel loved, which love language do they speak?
-Have you expressed your love concretely in many steps, especially unconditional love
-Would you accept vulnerability of others, and give them a safe space to grow?


In your family, if someone aires grievances, do you validate them, or dismiss them?

Some of my favorite quotes, outside of this book:

-Parenting is the most difficult job in the world
-Perfection is the enemy of good

Important parts of the Book are Part One, And Part Three.

His Solution was basically, create long-lasting friendship and lasting intimacy.

I would recommend this to anyone, who is interesting in Parenting, Family.

Deus Vult,
Gottfried

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book sure hits the nail on the head in describing loveless behaviors a "loving family" can be fraught with! LOL Altho not really meant to be funny, some of it was so true I found myself laughing out loud. Like when he describes how much you want to avoid the volcano personality. I knew my family was "off" but never went as far as to describe us -all of us- as a loveless family. Now I'd be what he'd call an Ostrich type were I to try to minimize how very much we lack any genuine healthy loving behavior. It's not exactly enjoyable reading, but there is humor to be found in a strange way. And, it actually validates my suspicions that I probably am not the only one trying to act loving when it's just not real genuine.
I started off thinking this might bum me out, but it left me feeling relieved in that I feel less the oddball of the family--coz they're ALL IN HERE! By all I mean my parents, sibs, our kids...all of us: generation thru generation!
I borrowed the book from the public library, but want my own copy so I can mark the many noteworthy points thru out the entire book.
Highly recommend!

[Jurrell A · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think one of the things that I greatly appreciated about this book is that it provided insight and *accountability* of the negative aspects and traits that seem to trickle into who we are through being subjected to a loveless family or environment while still offering validation and empathy towards the reasons you may feel the way you do.

It's not all about how poorly you were treated or how cold the home, family or environment was. How angry, sad, fearful and uncertain you may be afterwards although It's definitely a big contributing factor.

What the book offered IMO are the tools to understanding the family dynamics at play and offers resolution to the pain you may feel even if that means through your own developed flaws, reactions and self reflection.

This book was very helpful for me, It helped me see into others insecurities and possibly the true feelings behind them while perpetuating that dysfunction all while working through my own insecurities and being a guide and continuing reminder to not perpetuate them again myself.