To Be a Jew: A Guide to Jewish Observance in Contemporary Life

by Hayim Halevy Donin

To Be a Jew, Rabbi Hayim Halevy Donin's classic guide to Jewish life, philosophy, and law has guided generations of Americans, Europeans, and Israelis to discover the treasures of their own religious traditions. First published in 1972, the book still stands as a reliable, practical and versatile resource for everyone from young girls preparing for bat mitzvah to old men returning to their spiritual roots. The book begins with an overview of Judaism's basic credo (including chapters on Israel's people, land, God, and Torah), moves on to describe the laws governing Jews' daily lives, the Jewish calendar, and "The Special Occasions of Life" from birth to death and mourning. One great strength of To Be a Jew is its blending of folk wisdom and scholarly learning. Rabbi Donin not only describes what right belief and righteous action look like but provides a rationale for these observances that engages and embraces the basic conditions of modern life. --Michael Joseph Gross

Genres: Judaism, Jewish, Religion, Nonfiction, Judaica, Reference, Theology

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1952

Reviews

[Caroline · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book early in my exploration of religious judaism, and found it entirely unhelpful. However, I suspect mostly it is a clash of worldviews. Hayim Halevy Donin's book was just overwhelmingly orthodox for me as I was first encountering religious Judaism. His worldview clashed with mine, not only because of his orthodoxy, because there are plenty of orthodox Jews with relatively similar world-views to mine, but because of some... I don't really know what, but radically different outlook on life. This book just pushed my buttons.
(Note, I would consider myself a feminist and a Masorti/conservative Jew, if that's relevant.)

[Gabe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book guides the reader through the basics of orthodox Jewish life. It sets a high bar for observance with an unapologetic emphasis on tradition. The book describes how Jews should live, and in most cases offers some guidance on why they should live that way. Rabbi Donin appears to have no sympathy for Jews who find strict observance difficult or impossible, but he does invite Jews from less observant backgrounds to learn and practice according to the traditional ways.

Personally, I found the book interesting because I didn't know most of it. My reform background gave me a sense of Jewish identity but not much knowledge or appreciation of everyday Jewish observance. Now at least I know the laws that I'm breaking, and I feel like I'm in a better position to explain the laws to curious non-Jews who occasionally ask about things like the laws of kashrut and holidays. I also appreciated learning about the orthodox perspective on Jewish spirituality. The traditional approach leaves less room for wondering about the nature or existence of God, and instead places more emphasis on perfecting religious observance according to the edicts of the Torah and the writings of the ancient rabbis. It's a useful perspective that my Jewish education did not seem to include.

[Melvin Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well it is very Orthodox. Makes a lot of sense though if truth be told. Maybe I am much more Orthodox than I thought.

[Kaiti · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read the 1972 edition and there was some intense homophobia in the family life section! Like, "homosexuality, [...] lead[s] to the decay of the people and the contamination of the land." p124. And I know it was the 1970s and from an orthodox perspective, but there are books out there with an orthodox leaning that aren't homophobic! It made me very uncomfortable.

The whole book is rather orthodox, which is fine, but not quite my cup of tea. The book could have been a little less condescending in its discussion of people who don't follow all mitzvot to the letter too. Like, there's nothing wrong with saying you believe it's wrong to drive on Shabbat, even if you're going to synagogue. It's another to talk about people who do drive to synagogue on Shabbat like they just don't care about the sanctity of Shabbat or the continuation of Judaism as a culture.

[Aaron]

I'm still working on this book. I needed to start over from the beginning because it's been several years since I left off.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ridiculously informative. I recommend this book for natural Jews, gerim, or just those who are generally curious.

[Lara Celine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect for the basics!

[Craig Bolton]

To Be A Jew: A Guide To Jewish Observance In Contemporary Life by Hayim H. Donin (1991)

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy writing style and great explanations - a good resource.

[Eliyahu (Marc) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trully amazing work I read this over and over, over the years!,

[batya7 · Rating 5 out of 5]

First read in late 1980s. Currently using as a guide for teaching basic Jewish outlook and practice.

[Abraham]

goof
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[Bb Hurley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent Lenten reading. I learned a lot.

[Miled · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical and helpful!! especially for someone who wants to convert to Judaism or for a jew who forgot his/her jewish practices.

[Holly Shifrah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is very dense (which is just my cup of tea) but I found myself constantly writing “source?” and “evidence?” in my margin notes in response to assertions that one or another statements were undisputed fact. Religion may utilize different modes of perception when engaging in ritual and narrative in order to create meaningful spiritual experience, but any form of religion that encourages or requires the shutting down of critical thinking even in moments of more academic learning is suspect. To be asked to accept as fact, statements without supporting arguments is to be asked to waste the brain with which we have all been endowed which is an insult to the divine spark within us.

It is also unpleasant to sit through the sense of superiority that seeps through the text in many places in order to acquire the information contained in the book. I appreciate when authors claiming to offer a “comprehensive introduction” to Judaism are able to write objectively about various movements and interpretations with respect despite personal disagreement. This author has certainly not mastered that skill. If one is prepared to push through those annoyances this is a very informative read.

Some day I hope to find a guide to neo-Orthodox practices presented without pointed criticism of other practices and with enough humility to recognize that while one may believe that Ashkenazic Orthodoxy is the default or most valid form of Judaism, that such a belief is, in fact, an unprovable opinion and that greater unity and respect is better served by evidence-based arguments in favor of one’s various interpretation of Halacha rather than bold assertions that anyone who says otherwise is wrong…source: trust, me, bro. If the author wished to win hearts and minds to defining what it means to be a Jew in line with his perspective, he might have better succeeded without resorting to the same kind of snooty asides I’ve seen Christians employ to denigrate other denominations or non-Christians. It comes across as petty and desperate where a sufficiently strong case will stand on its own. One needn’t even present all major opinions if they don’t wish (although I have encountered many examples of progressive Jewish texts doing just that and including Orthodox perspectives with respect). But not including different perspectives can be done by doing just that, not including them, rather than including them only to denigrate them.

[midnightbookreads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nonfiction Judaism
The content for this novel is best for an adolescent questioning their upbringing or a parent preparing for the questions of their adolescent child.
History, traditions, and holidays are explained.

The most worthwhile content is on being a good person, which traditions attempt to reinforce.
Unfortunately, some concepts can’t be defended by modern standards and so they are just explained in that those traditions separate us, creating, and defining our identity (razor vs. shears, tefillin, speaking Hewbrew) or disciple which assists other aspects of life (Kosher, period sex/separation, and modesty).

Fun bits, “The Jew is indeed forbidden from denying his wife the satisfaction of her sexual wants” and “Just as he must provide his wife with clothing and shelter as a basic right, so he must not deny her sexual satisfaction” (part of Family Life chapter but biblically from Exodus 21:10). So, in order to be a good Jew, you gotta be a good lay.
“Pray services became also the official substitute for the central Temple worship, and the Temple had been destroyed and the sacrificial service eliminated.” This was in regards to originally passing on your sins to a lamb before sacrificing it at Passover. Jesus Christ later became the Lamb of God which eliminated this sacrifice in Christianity, and sacrifice also ended in Judaism when the second Temple was destroyed. Weird stuff.

Is it worth reading? Overall, it was an alright read. Some parts did feel super casual, and at other times it just spewed out tradition facts and procedures.
After this read, I excited to see how Reform Judaism differs.
3.5/4

[Brian Katz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book to read as it reminded me of the many lessons I had as a child growing up in a Jewish home and having a Jewish education through the end of high school. It seems that I remembered much more than I would have thought. Though the parts where I learned what I had forgotten were the most rewarding. I have read many books on the history of the Jews through the 2,000 years of exile and those stories can be very difficult. They have grounded me in being a proud Jew and have opened my eyes to the many challenges that my ancestors have faced in order for me to be who I am today. They have also confirmed the critical importance for a Jewish Homeland in the Land of Israel. But this book tells the laws as they apply to everyday Jewish life and it reminds me of just how difficult it can be to be Jewish. It is not for the faint at heart. The laws and customs are meant to preserve Judaism as a separate People from the rest of society. As a result, it is easy to see why assimilation is bad and why, for example, the Reform movement got its motivation during the mid 1800’s in the United States. I am certain that this book has helped in my journey towards greater spirituality in my life.

[Edith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I almost finished this a long time ago and never got around to reviewing it. In short, a lot of orthodoxy makes perfect sense and I daresay the appeal can be seen in its lasting power even today. The focus on tradition, rituals, family, and roles is something that modernity has tried to dismantle but left a lot of the masses unhappy and feeling unmoored and alienated from community. However, modernity and our culture of individualism enabled some to pursue their dreams and ambitions they otherwise would not have done had they remained in a traditionalist society. There is a saying that says this life (of traditions/orthodoxy) is not for everyone, but it works well enough for a lot of people in the community for the community to perpetuate itself. It is worth considering how we are living these days, and the growing awareness that a freewheeling life and all the hedonism that modern culture and technology afford might not be what our hearts desire.

[FP · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because a friend, our little community's de facto rabbi, lent me his copy. He did that because, even though I'm a religious nonbeliever, we often discuss Judaism.

I learned so much about orthodox Jewish traditions and culture. I don't agree with some of the philosophy but I should be able to respect those who do. This book helped me understand an ancient culture that remains influential today.

I read a little every morning and now I'll miss that routine! But such problems are the domain of the rabbi, so we'll talk.

[Robert New England · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Widely recognized as one of the most respected and indispensable reference books … it covers every essential aspect of the Jewish people and Judaism… discusses everything from the Jewish Bible and Talmud to Jewish notions of ethics to antisemitism and the Holocaust; from the history of Jews around the world to Zionism and the politics of a Jewish state; from the significance of religious traditions and holidays to how they are practiced in daily life.”

[Reese · Rating 5 out of 5]

Observant Judaism v interesting, enticing, appealing
Need faith in a higher power
The customs didn’t resonate much but observing Shabbat strictly/stricter did. Need a break day to make the other days better, to unwind, & to keep perspective.
Certainly going to find a synagogue in SF for Shabbats, religious connection, meeting people & getting a feel for Cali Judaism
Loved this one—great book still v relevant 50 years later. 5* due to its impact on my life

[Andi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rabbi Donin presents an Orthodox view on practicing Judaism. His viewpoint is often harsh and strict with remarks like "Who are you to question the word of G-d?" in the section on kashrut (kosher eating). Though I often disagree with his conclusions, it was a valuable read to start thinking about what halacha matters to me. If a reader were attempting Orthodoxy, it would be a solid guide to the essentials.

[Clifton Rankin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished last year and began this one reading Rabbi Hayim Donin’s, “To Be a Jew: A Guide to Jewish Observance in Contemporary Life.” I’m not sure that I would really call it interesting, but it was informative. It described modern Orthodox Jewish life: the Sabbath, the Festivals, the Blessings, etc., from primarily a ceremonial perspective. If one would want to know about the heart of Judaism, I would recommend Herman Wouk’s, “This is My God.” (417 pages)

[Ambria Irlbeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book to cover basic aspects of Jewish life, however it will definitely be most enjoyable and relatable to those who subscribe to Orthodox views. As someone pursuing a Reform conversion, there were certain opinions expressed in this book (such as those on intermarriage, homosexuality, the participation of women in the church, etc.) which were very objectionable to me.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that was used in my Orthodox conversion class: a great resource. Also a good intro for those interested in Judaism, with the understanding this is presenting a modern a Orthodox viewpoint.

[Dave Estela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being raised in the Jewish faith this was a good reminder on what it means to be a Jew and how to honor God in the correct way. Details all of the laws to follow and why. Actually found a lot of information that I was not aware of.

[Yuriy Shefer · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent guide on Jewish living for those returning to the faith

I’ve learned a lot from this book that I did not already know. I also like the perspective and the tone in which it was written. Thank you for such an awesome summary of Jewish life.

[Andrew Ketel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really found this book a most enjoyable and informative read. It explained things so well and presented it in such a straight forward manner. A must read for those considering Judaism as their expression of faith.

[Cayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a few things that are a little outdated since it was written nearly 60(?) years ago and the book is written from an Orthodox opinion that is a little dismissive of all the other Jewish movements as legitimate, but overall a really good guide to Jewish practice in everyday life

[Avery Yuval Hazen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a good book for its purpose (educational material), but I found some of his side commentary in certain sections as a bit judgy.

Still an important book to have on your bookshelf (regardless of your level of observance) though.