Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After

by Craig Groeschel

What do you do if you want a marriage that doesn’t just survive, but thrives? That doesn’t just begin romantically but ends magnificently?
 
Answer: You do something different.
 
You’ve seen marriages fail time and again. Even relationships you thought were bulletproof don’t last–or maybe worse—fade away to a cold, gray lovelessness. It’s no wonder that for today’s generation, “getting what you want” is often a substitute for love, and disillusionment about marriage is the new normal.
 
But you can have a long-term, love-blessed marriage. Whether you’re still considering it, are about to be wed, or have been married for a while and want to make changes, Love, Sex & Happily Ever After delivers an infusion of hope. Author Craig Groeschel clearly and honestly lays out the choices and commitments you can make now to change the way you think and act—to build the relationship you want for the rest of your life.
 
With an invigorating mix of personal story, practical guidance and biblical truth, Craig invites you into a candid conversation about first dates, sex, communication, integrity, forgiveness, and commitment. Along the way, he shows how you can build a soul-enriching, God-honoring relationship with the one you love…and believe together again in your very own “happily ever after.”

Previously released as Going All the Way




From the Trade Paperback edition.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Relationships, Faith, Christian Living, Nonfiction, Self Help

240 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 16, 2011

About the author

Craig Groeschel is the founding and senior pastor of Life.Church, a multisite church with locations throughout the United States and globally at Life.Church Online.

Craig and his wife Amy started Life.Church in a two-car garage in Edmond, Oklahoma in January 1996. While Life.Church has grown over the years, its mission remains the same: to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ. Today, the church is known for its innovative use of technology to spread the Gospel, launching the first fully digital church experience in 2006 and the most downloaded Bible app in history, YouVersion, in 2008.

As a widely respected leader in the Church, Craig speaks frequently at leadership events and conferences worldwide. He is a New York Times best-selling author with books about topics like dating and marriage, social media, purpose, direction, church leadership, and more. He also hosts the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast, a practical tool to spark new ideas and prompt innovative thinking in leaders at every level within any organization.

Craig and Amy married in 1991 and have six children. They live in Oklahoma where Life.Church began.

Visit www.craiggroeschel.com to be the first to hear about new podcast episodes, books, leadership events, and more.

Reviews

[Jaime T · Rating 4 out of 5]

quick read, nothing special - nice reminders and encouragements for pre-marriage (for single and dating). i suppose it's easy for my values and perspectives to slowly change while dating (for better or worse), so it's good to renew my mind with the standards God sets forth in His Word.

[Jaci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Este es un libro básico que te ayudará a entender lo esencial de cada etapa del enamoramiento, noviazgo hasta llegar al matrimonio.
Este libro lleva varios años en el mercado en inglés, pero vi que la traducción en español es casi por los últimos años, así que, es probable que varios de los consejos en este libro ya los hayas escuchado o leído con anterioridad.
El autor habla también de sus propias experiencias para dejar sus opiniones de forma que la audiencia joven lo entienda.
El público objetivo de este libro diría que son adolescentes desde los 15 años hasta jóvenes en sus 20’s. Por tanto, si eres líder de jóvenes o si te interesa el tema y no sabes mucho sobre eso, este libro te irá de maravillas.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Are you married? Would you like to be married? Still looking for ‘the One’?

In Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After: Preparing for a Marriage that goes the Distance (previously titled Going All the Way), Craig Groeschel discusses how you can you can make love last forever . Groeschel’s first point is that ‘the One’ you are looking for is not a romantic interest but Jesus (see what he did there?). Your spouse would be your ‘number two’ He then goes on to discuss the dynamics and the personal commitments which will nurture a good marriage.

This is the third book by Craig Groeschel I’ve read (I’ve also read Weird and Chazown). In the previous two books, I liked a lot of what he had to say but found his hook a little gimmicky. In this book, Groeschel is much more straightforward in his presentation and says some great things; however I seem to be a little out of Craig Groeschel’s target audience. This is a book for those preparing for marriage. Actually, a good chunk of the book is for people who are still in the dating scene but maybe thinking about marriage at some point. As someone who is happily married for 10 years, I found this book offered less constructive material for my own relationship (only the last few chapters).

But no matter, it was a fun read and Groeschel has good things to say. I am occasionally asked by single friends if I could recommend a good book on dating and I think this could be a helpful book for college age singles. There is a lot of practical advice here about making sure you keep Jesus central, developing a solid friendship as the foundation for marriage, keeping sexually pure, why cohabitation is a bad idea, how to break up with the wrong person, how in Christ starting over and being healed from past mistakes is possible, keeping your relationship with Jesus and keeping your (future) spouse a priority. Groeschel is a good communicator and he does a great job of encouraging singles to live lives that are holy, healthy and pleasing to God.

When he does get down to discussing married life, he offers what I would call a soft complementarianism. He believes that husbands were created to be the leader of the home (he bases this on the created order. Men were created first because they are hardwired to be the initiator of things. Just so you know, this is bad exegesis). While he overstates his case for male leadership a little, he is careful to put this in the context of mutual submission (Eph. 5:21) and certainly men need to be encouraged to take responsibility for their relationships rather than passively stand by. Likewise he has some good advice to wives (or would be wives) to deal with insecurities in their hearts, but much of his discussion of wives is how to submit to their husbands leadership. As an egalitarian, I disagree with how Groeschel is parsing biblical data here, but he makes some constructive points.

One of the best chapters of the book is called Habits of the Heart where Craig discusses the sort of godly habits which will nurture a godly marriage. These include:

dealing with your past
growing with good people (accountability and mentoring and severing of unhealthy friendships)
learning to listen well
guarding your own heart
facing and resolving conflict well
being financially responsible
investing in your relationship with God
I think that each of these habits are important for maintaining vitality and health in my marriage (though I need to grow in a few of these). But what makes this book an enjoyable read is not Groeschel’s good advice, but his humility and good humor. Groeschel is funny and is vulnerable enough to share about past mistakes he’s made. So even though I am the wrong person to read this book, I still liked it.

Thank you to Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review.

[Mel Schanz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the book. Great advice in it. As with any book that works on relationships, I took what would work for me and my spouse out of it, and left the rest. I think anyone who is in any relationship can find something in this book that fits their relationship. Even if their relationship doesn't have any problems. But, let's face it, every relationship has problems, big or small.

[Ellie Julio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I've been married almost 8 years, this was a good read for my husband and I as we take a fresh look at our relationship. There are definitely things in it we needed to hear! I highly recommend it for anyone looking to do romance and marriage God's way.

[Susy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro dedicado a posicionar tus estándares con aquellos de Cristo. Craig te anima en la espera de tu Dos, brindándote quehacer en tu espera, ayuda a prepararte para forjar un matrimonio de acuerdo con los parámetros de Cristo. Me sorprendió que el libro es dirigido a solteros y a aquellos que se encuentran en un noviazgo, es muy útil para quienes deseamos una relación que sea agradable a Dios. Craig se dirige en todo momento como buen amigo, al leerlo tuve la sensación de que me hablaba como si fuera una llamada amistosa. Su humor, sus tips y sus banderas rojas te ayudarán a esperar con propósito, y en el caso de que hayas encontrado a tu Dos, los animará a ambos a ser esa relación con la que Cristo se deleita, los invitará a crecer juntos espiritualmente para su matrimonio.

[Emily Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read a couple of Craig's books but this one has a different ring to it. If you have any questions about Christian living as a single person before marriage, this is the book to read. Founded in scripture and full of real world examples, this book is worth your time. Also, a quick read. I finished it within a day.

[Gershom Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very straight forward, good reading with tons of Biblical principles

This was a great read and has awesome ideas.The study questions at the end of the book makes it conducive for a small group study.

[Fred Rojo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me demoré en terminarlo, porque la vida adulta me golpeó sin mucho tiempo, pero sin duda que es un excelente libro de consejería para la juventud cristiana que busca el matrimonio. Muy entretenido y práctico.

[Rudi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I've ever read on relationships.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

We read it before we were married. It’s definitely a great book to read as an engaged couple.

[Megan Sybrant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not really a marriage book but more about dating & engagement…essentially how to set yourself up for a good marriage. Good solid info though!

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After, Craig Groeschel teaches readers the importance of maintaining a healthy marriage that lasts. The book was previously published as Going All The Way. He encouraged readers to get closer to God and to receive God’s love. We can’t give away true love to our spouse if we don’t love ourselves completely. He also pointed out that he doesn’t believe that there is only one person out there for you. It’s impossible to meet every single person in the world. It’s our free choice on who we choose to marry. Another concept that Christians must follow is to not marry someone who doesn’t share their common believes. Craig shared why we need to wait until marriage to have sex and live together. He revealed the two biggest lies we use to reason that sex is fine before marriage. He included some helpful tips to stop you from going too far. Some of the tips are “keep four feet on the floor, keep your bed your bed, and other extremely important tips. Craig Groeschel wrote one chapter for men and one chapter for women. Men are supposed to be leading the household spiritually, financially and protectively. The women chapter included the lies that women are telling themselves.



The book also contains discussion questions for you and your spouse to use to explore deeper into your healthy marriage.



A helpful quote is:

“God wants marriage to be characterized by purity and open sharing. Our Enemy, the devil, wants marriage to be filled with dirt, the partners walled up, hiding in the shadows of sin.” (Page 140)



I would recommend this wonderful book on marriage and dating to teenagers and adults! If you are single get this book and read it! Even if you are married it’s important to read and put these principles into practice. It’s is never too late to work on becoming the person God is calling you to be. I have learned helpful details about not forgetting to date my wife when we are married. Once you say I do the game isn’t over and the mission isn’t complete. As a man, I am called by God to love my wife and lead her and protect her from harm. When another man has hurt her emotional and physically, I have to stand up and commit that I won’t. Women tend to compare themselves to others. I must also build my wife up by saying how wonderful and beautiful she is. God made her the way he wanted her and the world doesn’t have the final say as to what she is or what she isn’t. Marriage takes a lot of commitment and determination to love one another despite the conflicts that we will face. Standing together as one flesh and working on communicating in our marriage relationship is what God had in mind. The enemy is a liar and he will do anything in his power to create conflicts in your marriage. How you handle them is up to you! This book has the power and influence to help couples to marry with an assurance to love each other completely and to make it last. I am currently not married but I have already decided to add this book to the list to read again with my future wife. Craig Groeschel has written the book that every couple needs to read it’s time for marriages to start thriving!









“I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.

[Jennifer L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the book "Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After", Craig Groeschel presents ideas for singles to help them achieve the marriage they have always dreamed of -- before it starts. For instance, he points out if you are constantly attracting the wrong kind of person, it could be you are putting out the wrong kind of signals. He mentions you should make a list of what qualities you want in a future spouse, once you are done with the list, work on those areas in your own life. After all, should you expect traits in someone else you are not willing to give yourself?

He explains that you are not to be looking for "The One" as God should be your number one. Instead you should be finding "Your Two". He talks about seeking advice from mentors or people you trust, admire and respect as well waiting for "Your Two".

Of course he discusses hot button issues such as sex before marriage. (In a nutshell, don't do it.) Also living together before marriage. (Don't do it, be committed to the relationship more than just moving in together.) He also discusses how to break up with the person you are dating without hurting them.

There is a chapter each for men and women on how to be a good husband or wife. He discusses leadership and how that looks lived out in a practical manner (leadership in spiritual issues, financial, etc.) He also explains that this is not something you can beat your wife over the head with and make her do whatever because you are the leader, but there should be mutual submission in place. For the women, he discusses rebelling against the lies that our culture tells us. These are things like we have to have a man to be complete or we can change a man.

There is a study guide included in this book, which would make it ideal to be used in a small group setting.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. I thought some of his attempts at humor were a bit lame, but he got his message across even if I didn't always think some of the jokes were funny. This book was previously published as "Going All the Way" and I read it when it was published under another name, not realizing this was the same book when I requested it from the publisher for review. I rarely re-read books and wouldn't have read it again had I realized this. As someone in my thirties who is single and has never been married, I didn't find a lot of new information in this book, but it's still a good read to remind myself of certain ideals.

FTC disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review. The opinions are my own.

[Kristy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After
CRAIG GROESCHEL

With an invigorating mix of personal story, practical guidance and biblical truth, Craig invites you into a candid conversation about first dates, sex, communication, integrity, forgiveness, and commitment. Along the way, he shows how you can build a soul-enriching, God-honoring relationship with the one you love…and believe together again in your very own “happily ever after.”

Previously released as Going All the Way


I have seen Craig Groeschels’ online presence, listened to his podcasts and watched his videos on LifeChurch.tv and found him very amusing and inspirational. He winds personal experience stories with bible stories and somehow makes it all relevant to today’s world. He is one of the ‘new breed’ of pastors who relate to their followers with humor rather than preach down to them using intimidation. So when I was given a chance to read and review this book, I jumped at it, however now I kind of wished I hadn’t.

I really cannot get into the swing of this book, Craig’s jokes seem condescending and fake, and his humor doesn’t come through in the writing. Some of the lines are authoritative to the extreme, whereas if I was watching him perform this in person, it probably wouldn’t have as much of a negative impact as it does seeing the words on the page.

I can see how people have described the content of the book as ‘going to very challenging places’, but I also see how some people who are dedicated fans and followers of his would be able to find this book useful. I personally do not find this book to be something that I can utilize or reread at any point, but I fully encourage those who are a fan of his or any of Craig Groeschel’s previous books to pick this up and give it a look, for you it may be a worthwhile read.

[Jason Sandefer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Craig Groeschel doesn't hide behind an "I've got it all together, so let me tell you the answers," facade. That's what I like about his style. He is honest enough to say, "I'm sorry to say we compromised...Eventually we crossed some physical boundaries, never 'going all the way,' but we definitely went too far." He takes an honest look at some really tough (and some wildly unpopular topics) that most couples choose to gloss over or ignore completely.

The most dangerous thing for most couples is their "learn as we go" approach to their relationship. Because they think that love should always be melting hearts and giddy laughter, they are unwilling to do the hard work of love. In the end, disillusionment sets in, and the "I guess he's just not the one for me" conversations start happening. Groeschel does a good job of tackling this type of "fuzzy logic" and others like: test-driving marriage, misplaced priorities, and mutual leadership.

This is one of those books that you keep on the bookshelf for quick reference. It's packed with great illustrations and well written explanations of some of the most confusing issues that couples face. For those about to get married or if you are currently sitting in the middle of a mucky marriage, this book takes the edge off of some very sensitive subjects while at the same time sharing the hard truth about what a marriage submitted to God and to one another really looks like.

The study guide in the back is a great addition to the book. It's not filled with vague generalities like most study guides. It makes the topics in the book very personal and applicable. The questions force you to personalize and honestly give an answer for each topic. It would be a great book to study in a couple's small group.

{I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.}

[Mara Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have seen so many marriages fall apart. I believe much as to do with not being prepared to be married. It's not always fun and games. The honeymoon will wear off.

Craig Groeschel makes an important point. You must find the One before you can find your Two. Jesus must be the center of your life. God first and then spouse second. This may not make you very popular but it will attract the right person into your life. Craig is able to keep your attention by sharing his personal stories along the way.

This is a must read before getting married. Subjects include: dating, sex, forgiveness, and communication. He debunks the myth that there will be no consequences if you have sex prior to marriage. Or, you can have sex without intimacy. Satan is the Father of Lies and may convince you that's it's ok to play house before marriage. Will you necessarily fail if you do? I do not believe so. But, there is an emotional aspect that will come into play.

I highly recommend this to anyone (no matter their age) who is currently dating and seeking a spouse one day. It's easy to get caught up in emotions. I believe this book will help others to take a step back and realize that getting married is not a game. Do not believe that it's no big deal if it doesn't work out. It's a huge deal.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher (Multnomah Books) . I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255
<[...]> : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

[Jess Wigal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After by Craig Groeschel. I read 209 pages almost nonstop in 2 days. The information was basically everything I had learned in church growing up and in premarital counseling. The only difference was it was coming from a guy who had been there, done that, and survived. It doesn't sound as preachy when it comes from someone who's been there done that.

My only complaint about the book was that Groeschel spent too much time focusing on singles that are not married. The words "future spouse" and "when you get married in the future" came up more times than I was expecting. As I read the book the first half of the book made sense to talk about dating and preparing for marriage. However, the second half of the book could have more information directed toward only married couples. Since everything about the book and the beginning of the book the author said he wanted the book to be for anyone married or single.

I would recommend this book to teenagers before they start dating or engaged couples during premarital counseling. If you read it from someone who understands what it's like to live in a sex-crazed world and was a part of that type of lifestyle and still turn around and have a life that God is proud of. Every parent should give their sons and daughters this book on their 13th birthday or before they start dating.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Please visit and follow jessblogforbooks.blogspot.com

[Brent Soderstrum · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recieved this book free from the Goodreads giveaway.

I have been married before and if I get married again I would like to do it God's way this time. Groeschel starts out the book by saying that Jesus needs to be #1 for both you and your future wife or there will be problems which you won't be able to handle well. Your future spouse needs to be #2 ahead of kids, job, friends, family etc.

Groeshel covers dating and physical intimacy which certainly bucks the trend of society which is to get as much enjoyment as you can from everyone you can. He gives some great examples and most importantly give you God's word to back up what he says.

All marriages are going to have their problems but if both of you have Jesus as your #1 the problems are going to be worked out. No secrets or sins are to be withheld from your spouse. He also covers ways to prepare yourself for your future spouse.

I enjoyed hearing God's prospective on marriage and dating. Besides the sprinkles of childish humor thrown in, I enjoyed the book and I think it will help me to make my second marriage much more successful then my first.

[VJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this as well.

[Jodi Boulier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Craig Groeschel did a great job writing this book!!! The title says it all. If you have a marriage it takes two to complete it. Being happy and finding what works best and how to make the changes for a happy marriage is well written.
After being widowed, I never thought I would love again as I did with my late husband. The emotions and thoughts of little things that make a marriage work ran through my head. I did find love again, and I found a lot of principles in this book that would have helped me. After reading this book I am passing it to my step son and his wife to read. I think they have the principles in today's society which is hard to grasp for a strong marriage..I know they will enjoy this book! I did!

[Giselle Alvarez · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a good read whether you're dating, planning to date, or neither. Also, there are some parts in the book that have questions, so you can answer them with your partner. And I liked the Christ and Bible centred teaching of this book.

Nevertheless, I didn't like some of the words the author used like "stupid" and "idiot" to describe others. I didn't believe it was necessary to offend the other just because he didn't like them. And I did not agree when he said Christ was more complete in God than any of us (p. 184). I don't believe that is biblically correct. Or when he said God loved you more than any other person in the world (p. 190)...

But overall, I would recommend it. Besides, I enjoyed many parts of the book.

[Candi Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It gave some good advice on multiple relationship issues. The only thing negative that I have to say is that it may be too religious for some people who are not Christian. I myself, am not necessarily a Christian, but it did not bother me because of my beliefs. It does slightly force the Christian ideal on those reading it, but they do not have to read it if that bothers them. I would recommend it to Christians, especially those in a serious relationship or looking to marry. I would not recommend it to anyone who gets offended by Christian beliefs because the book is primary based around this.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book especially for young adults who may just be entering college or entering the dating scene. I had initially wanted to read this book because I recently got married and I am interested in reading books about marriage. I wish I had read this book when I was in college!

It is important to recognize that when you are dating, you are looking for a potential life partner. This can be easily forgotten once sex enters the relationship and we can begin to veer off course. Craig Groeschel does an excellent job of providing ways to interpret relationships and how to keep yourself heading in the right direction.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK FOR YOUNG ADULTS AROUND 18-21!!!

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and the message(s) that Mr. Groeschel presented. This book is written for a certain audience. This is a great book for individuals that are single and looking at marriage in future. I won this book through the Goodreads giveaway program. What a great giveaway program!

[Jeff Elliott · Rating 2 out of 5]

I might recommend this book to a couple getting ready to be married. Not a whole lot of insightful material. Kind of seems like Groeschel's church people may have asked him to write a book on marriage so he did. There's nothing said here that hasn't been said before. I didn't highlight anything.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Groeshel is an easy read, and makes his points well. The humor helps. What I'm seeing so far is a really good book to read before marriage, and one to look at after.

[Ash Srinivas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great book for everyone, regardless of whether you're in a relationship right now, want to be married, don't even know if or when you want to get married.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been reading quite a few books lately about relationships and marriage and this one is not among the best by any stretch. Extreme conservative.

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Concise and practical guide on approaching marriage for Christians. It's very simple to read but I think the wisdom supported by scripture is invaluable. Will read again.