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Finding Phoebe
'Totally enchanting, warm and funny' Ciara Smyth, author of Not My Problem
‘Neurodiversity has a voice, and it’s witty and uplifting and enlightening all at once’ Jasper Fforde, author of The Eyre Affair
'A lovely book' Graeme Simsion, author of The Rosie Project
Longlisted for the Branford Boase Award
Phoebe is autistic. She prefers to stay in her comfort walking her dog, writing fantasy fiction, surviving school with as few incidents as possible.
When her best (and only) friend rebels and gets a secret boyfriend, Phoebe reluctantly agrees to cover for her. Before long, Phoebe’s dealing with all sorts of things she’d rather not, like deception, fashionable jackets, and the bewildering politics of the school chess club. Breaking the rules has never been Phoebe’s thing, but as events take a seriously unexpected turn, she realises there’s more to her than she ever imagined . . .
‘Neurodiversity has a voice, and it’s witty and uplifting and enlightening all at once’ Jasper Fforde, author of The Eyre Affair
'A lovely book' Graeme Simsion, author of The Rosie Project
Longlisted for the Branford Boase Award
Phoebe is autistic. She prefers to stay in her comfort walking her dog, writing fantasy fiction, surviving school with as few incidents as possible.
When her best (and only) friend rebels and gets a secret boyfriend, Phoebe reluctantly agrees to cover for her. Before long, Phoebe’s dealing with all sorts of things she’d rather not, like deception, fashionable jackets, and the bewildering politics of the school chess club. Breaking the rules has never been Phoebe’s thing, but as events take a seriously unexpected turn, she realises there’s more to her than she ever imagined . . .
312 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 3, 2023
44 people are currently reading
823 people want to read
About the author
Gavin Extence
7 books414 followersGavin Extence was born in 1982 and grew up in the interestingly named village of Swineshead, Lincolnshire. From the ages of 5-11, he enjoyed a brief but illustrious career as a chess player, winning numerous national championships and travelling to Moscow and St Petersburg to pit his wits against the finest young minds in Russia. He won only one game.
Gavin is currently working on his second novel. When he is not writing, he enjoys cooking, amateur astronomy and going to Alton Towers.
Gavin is currently working on his second novel. When he is not writing, he enjoys cooking, amateur astronomy and going to Alton Towers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
May 15, 2024
this book spoke to my heart and soul and everything inside me 👏🏻❤️🩹✨
⭐️ seeing the representation of her mum having ME/CFS really resonated! i never expected to see this in the book so it made me feel really seen as this runs in my family 🫂
⭐️ lesbian rep!!!
⭐️ talk about religious families, oppressive scenarios, abortion and more (in a choice-positive way which is amazing to see)
⭐️ such an accurate and relatable presentation of an autistic mind/way of thinking. i kept laughing out loud because phoebe was just me! i could see myself in every scenario she encountered, the social struggles, the thought processes, the sensory overloads
this book surpassed WAY beyond my expectations and i am eternally glad i randomly picked this up in my local library 🥹💖
⭐️ seeing the representation of her mum having ME/CFS really resonated! i never expected to see this in the book so it made me feel really seen as this runs in my family 🫂
⭐️ lesbian rep!!!
⭐️ talk about religious families, oppressive scenarios, abortion and more (in a choice-positive way which is amazing to see)
⭐️ such an accurate and relatable presentation of an autistic mind/way of thinking. i kept laughing out loud because phoebe was just me! i could see myself in every scenario she encountered, the social struggles, the thought processes, the sensory overloads
this book surpassed WAY beyond my expectations and i am eternally glad i randomly picked this up in my local library 🥹💖
May 18, 2024
Tohle bylo všechno, co jsem si slibovala, a ještě víc! Není to „jen“ knížka o autismu, je to skvělý příběh, který mě dojímal na každé druhé stránce. Skvěle napsáno!
5/5*
5/5*
January 29, 2025
First of all, I loved this book! It was witty, charming, and one of the most heartwarming and emotional books I’ve read in a long time.
The main character Phoebe is autistic, and the we see how she navigates through life and year 11, and the general challenges of being a teenage girl! There were parts that were so relatable for various reasons, and just made me love Phoebe more. Her narration throughout the book is so natural, and we can really easily understand her thoughts and feelings. Definitely one of my favourite characters I’ve read about in a long time, she felt so real, and when the book ended I didn’t want to leave her story. I also love that the author wrote this for his daughter, it made the story much more personal and authentic, and I will definitely be recommending this book, especially for anyone wanting to diversify their reading topics.
My favourite part of the book was the relationships Phoebe has with her dad, and especially Bethany. They were both so special, and it was great to see them develop throughout the book.
Thank you so much to the publishers and netgalley for this arc!
The main character Phoebe is autistic, and the we see how she navigates through life and year 11, and the general challenges of being a teenage girl! There were parts that were so relatable for various reasons, and just made me love Phoebe more. Her narration throughout the book is so natural, and we can really easily understand her thoughts and feelings. Definitely one of my favourite characters I’ve read about in a long time, she felt so real, and when the book ended I didn’t want to leave her story. I also love that the author wrote this for his daughter, it made the story much more personal and authentic, and I will definitely be recommending this book, especially for anyone wanting to diversify their reading topics.
My favourite part of the book was the relationships Phoebe has with her dad, and especially Bethany. They were both so special, and it was great to see them develop throughout the book.
Thank you so much to the publishers and netgalley for this arc!
January 6, 2024
Extence writes with such genuine heart and thoughtfulness. We follow Phoebe, a teenager with ASD as she navigates her journey into adulthood. I particularly enjoyed that Phoebe knew of her neurodivergence and the strengths she offered, especially to her friendship with secondary character Bethany. I’ve read a few books where the mc is neurodivergent, but I often find them to have an uncomfortable blur between writing for awareness and writing for reader’s entertainment through a cheap laugh. However, in the author’s note Extence tells us that his daughter has ASD and the book is for her; making for a beautiful and educational read into neurodivergence that’s full of love, kindness and warmth.
January 31, 2024
Really cute book about a heartwarming friendship, I enjoyed reading it very much! Phoebe is an absolutely adorable, relatable character and I loved following her transformation and journey of self-acceptance throughout the book.
April 18, 2025
Un petit roman ado qui fait du bien à lire de temps en temps. J’adore les histoires comme ça sans grande prise de tête, on suit juste une ado dans sa vie et ça m’emplit de plaisir.
Ici Phoebe est une ado avec un trouble du spectre autistique, qui commence son année scolaire en se mettant l’objectif d’améliorer ses rapports sociaux. On va donc la suivre dans son évolution, et évidemment il lui arrive plein de péripéties à elle et son amie (oups j’ai oublié son prénom)
Tout le long j’ai eu le sentiment que le perso de Phoebe est écrit avec énormément de tendresse et par quelqu’un qui connaissait le TSA car on est jamais dans le cliché. Et en effet, l’auteur a une fille avec un TSA et ça se sent, c’est vraiment hyper bienveillant.
C’est pas un livre qui casse 3 pattes à un canard mais c’est quand même très agréable à lire. 3,5/5
Ici Phoebe est une ado avec un trouble du spectre autistique, qui commence son année scolaire en se mettant l’objectif d’améliorer ses rapports sociaux. On va donc la suivre dans son évolution, et évidemment il lui arrive plein de péripéties à elle et son amie (oups j’ai oublié son prénom)
Tout le long j’ai eu le sentiment que le perso de Phoebe est écrit avec énormément de tendresse et par quelqu’un qui connaissait le TSA car on est jamais dans le cliché. Et en effet, l’auteur a une fille avec un TSA et ça se sent, c’est vraiment hyper bienveillant.
C’est pas un livre qui casse 3 pattes à un canard mais c’est quand même très agréable à lire. 3,5/5
January 27, 2025
4.5✨ j’ai envie de pleurer comme un bébé qui a des pleurs de décharge c’est très perturbant
March 29, 2025
Mi viene da piangere da quanto mi è piaciuto.
Lo inserirò ogni volta che potrò in tutte le conversazioni e i consigli di lettura.
Lo inserirò ogni volta che potrò in tutte le conversazioni e i consigli di lettura.
July 31, 2023
“I’m glad you’re not normal. You’re perfect the way you are… you just accept me as I am and don’t ask for anything more”
Finding Phoebe is a heartwarming book about an autistic girl, trying to navigate the perils of high school and friendships.
Being the parent of an autistic daughter, this felt really close to home. There’s a letter in the early part of the book from mother to daughter and I asked my daughter to read it because it portrayed exactly what I wanted to say. I nearly cried when I read the Author’s note at the end which said it was a true letter.
I’d love to read more of Phoebe’s adventures. Thank you NetGalley and Andersen Press for my advanced copy.
Finding Phoebe is a heartwarming book about an autistic girl, trying to navigate the perils of high school and friendships.
Being the parent of an autistic daughter, this felt really close to home. There’s a letter in the early part of the book from mother to daughter and I asked my daughter to read it because it portrayed exactly what I wanted to say. I nearly cried when I read the Author’s note at the end which said it was a true letter.
I’d love to read more of Phoebe’s adventures. Thank you NetGalley and Andersen Press for my advanced copy.
May 13, 2024
DNF. Found it a frustrating view of autism- not incorrect, but stereotypical. Couldn't continue reading it, but I might try again at some point
Read
October 24, 2024pookie
April 13, 2025
Phoebe mi přitostla k srdci. Duše holky na spektru, která se snaží zlepšovat, protože si uvědomuje svoji výjimečnost, ale ani tak se nezbavuje svojí schopnosti do detailu promýšlet a analyzovat všechny možné situace, které by mohly nastat. Má kolem sebe tři lidi - tátu, babičku a Bethany, ktěří krásně doplňovali život Phoebe a byly to skvělý vedlejší postavy. Ani nevím proč, ale asi vždycky to bude ta knížka, na kterou nedám dopustit a budu ji hájit a doporučovat 🫶🏻
May 10, 2025
Onestamente sono sempre un po’ spaventata quando leggo un romanzo in cui il protagonista o la protagonista (come in questo caso) è una persona autistica. Il rischio di cadere negli stereotipi e di rappresentarci in modo inadeguato è sempre dietro l’angolo. Ecco, questo non succede con Cercando Phoebe. Quanto ho amato questo libro!
Mi sono sentita così rappresentata. Mi chiedevo come fosse possibile che un uomo riuscisse a parlare dell’autismo femminile in questo modo. E poi l’ho scoperto: la figlia di Gavin Extence è autistica. Ma questo libro secondo me non si basa solo sull’esperienza diretta dell’autore; la mia impressione è che questo genitore si sia informato tantissimo sulle caratteristiche dell’autismo femminile, proprio per cercare di capire al meglio la figlia e di sostenerla nel migliore dei modi in questo mondo neurotipico. Avere un genitore che ti accetta per come sei e che si informa per conoscerti al meglio e per cercare di non sbagliare mi scalda il cuore, mi rende davvero felice e mi sinceramente mi commuove pure. Dovrebbe essere la normalità, almeno questo è quello che penso, purtroppo però non è una cosa che possiamo dare per scontata.
Cercando Phoebe è un romanzo che scalda il cuore e che tocca tematiche importanti: oltre all’autismo si parla di aborto, di legami familiari, di credenze religiose, di amicizia, di accettazione, di identità e di malattia. Consigliatissimo!
Mi sono sentita così rappresentata. Mi chiedevo come fosse possibile che un uomo riuscisse a parlare dell’autismo femminile in questo modo. E poi l’ho scoperto: la figlia di Gavin Extence è autistica. Ma questo libro secondo me non si basa solo sull’esperienza diretta dell’autore; la mia impressione è che questo genitore si sia informato tantissimo sulle caratteristiche dell’autismo femminile, proprio per cercare di capire al meglio la figlia e di sostenerla nel migliore dei modi in questo mondo neurotipico. Avere un genitore che ti accetta per come sei e che si informa per conoscerti al meglio e per cercare di non sbagliare mi scalda il cuore, mi rende davvero felice e mi sinceramente mi commuove pure. Dovrebbe essere la normalità, almeno questo è quello che penso, purtroppo però non è una cosa che possiamo dare per scontata.
Cercando Phoebe è un romanzo che scalda il cuore e che tocca tematiche importanti: oltre all’autismo si parla di aborto, di legami familiari, di credenze religiose, di amicizia, di accettazione, di identità e di malattia. Consigliatissimo!
December 19, 2024
Phoebe is autistic and I always love seeing representation in books. I thought Phoebe was a great main character and that was perfect for telling this story. Whilst it has a strong portrayal of autism, this book is so much more than just Phoebe being autistic and I really love that. Phoebe and Bethany’s friendship was a truly well portrayed and it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows but showed the ups and downs of friendship yet it stayed consistent throughout at the same time.
I also loved the discussion surrounding discovering sexuality and religion (and other things that I won’t mention because it’s sort of spoilery). Especially the discussion of religion. I don’t think I have read a fiction book, especially YA where religion is a prominent feature. And it wasn’t just there was religion in it and it was just there, but things were properly discussed surrounding events and religion.
I also loved the discussion surrounding discovering sexuality and religion (and other things that I won’t mention because it’s sort of spoilery). Especially the discussion of religion. I don’t think I have read a fiction book, especially YA where religion is a prominent feature. And it wasn’t just there was religion in it and it was just there, but things were properly discussed surrounding events and religion.
June 23, 2024
Phoebe je zdánlivě obyčejná dospívající dívka, ale když se na ní podíváte „blíž“, zjistíte, že je autistka. Pro ni to znamená, že má ráda vše dopředu naplánované, ráda se řídí svými pravidly a snaží se, aby je nic nenarušilo. Ale když jednoho dne slíbí své kamarádce Bethany, že ji bude krýt, Phoebin svět se otočí vzhůru nohama a události naberou nečekaný spád.
Kniha o mladých a pro mladé, ale zaujme čtenáře jakéhokoliv věku. Jsem toho důkazem…. Phoebe jsem si zamilovala, knížka mě naprosto pohltila a já nemohla přestat číst.
Od začátku je příběh úsměvný i smutný. Je zde ukázáno, jak vnímají autisté běžné věci, co jim dělá dobře a co je naopak rozhodí. Je to skvěle napsané - od začátku jsem měla pocit, že čtu skutečný deník, skutečné mladé dívky.
V určitých chvílích jsem cítila až úzkost, když jsem se do Phoebe vžila, jako bych jí byla já sama, ale i když jsem si její problémy uvědomila z pohledu rodiče a představila si ji jako mou dceru. Kniha si pohrála s mými emocemi a probudila ve mně celou škálu pocitů. Konec knihy jsem navíc probrečela, jako želva. To, co si Phoebe v průběhu děje uvědomí, jaké změny udělá, tak to neplatí jen pro autisty, ale z jejího chování se může poučit i každý z nás.
Co se mi moc líbilo, tak místo, kde se děj odehrává – Holy Island. Autor ho v knize popsal tak, že jsem neodolala, vyhledávala jsem si další informace, fotografie a rozhodně bych se tam chtěla jednou podívat. A co mám také v knihách ráda – zmínky o jiných knihách. A toho jsem si v příběhu užila opravdu do sytosti.
Pokud máte rádi knihy o lidských osudech a pokud, stejně jako já, očekáváte v příbězích emoce, rozhodně si Phoebe přečtěte.
Kniha o mladých a pro mladé, ale zaujme čtenáře jakéhokoliv věku. Jsem toho důkazem…. Phoebe jsem si zamilovala, knížka mě naprosto pohltila a já nemohla přestat číst.
Od začátku je příběh úsměvný i smutný. Je zde ukázáno, jak vnímají autisté běžné věci, co jim dělá dobře a co je naopak rozhodí. Je to skvěle napsané - od začátku jsem měla pocit, že čtu skutečný deník, skutečné mladé dívky.
V určitých chvílích jsem cítila až úzkost, když jsem se do Phoebe vžila, jako bych jí byla já sama, ale i když jsem si její problémy uvědomila z pohledu rodiče a představila si ji jako mou dceru. Kniha si pohrála s mými emocemi a probudila ve mně celou škálu pocitů. Konec knihy jsem navíc probrečela, jako želva. To, co si Phoebe v průběhu děje uvědomí, jaké změny udělá, tak to neplatí jen pro autisty, ale z jejího chování se může poučit i každý z nás.
Co se mi moc líbilo, tak místo, kde se děj odehrává – Holy Island. Autor ho v knize popsal tak, že jsem neodolala, vyhledávala jsem si další informace, fotografie a rozhodně bych se tam chtěla jednou podívat. A co mám také v knihách ráda – zmínky o jiných knihách. A toho jsem si v příběhu užila opravdu do sytosti.
Pokud máte rádi knihy o lidských osudech a pokud, stejně jako já, očekáváte v příbězích emoce, rozhodně si Phoebe přečtěte.
November 28, 2024
This book was a lovely read. At first I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get into it due to how Phoebe spoke but after a couple chapters I was fully absorbed.
Things I particularly liked:
- Honestly I felt so seen in Phoebe even though we are so different it’s just such a beautiful representation for autism.
- I have a soft spot for strong female friendships that are like sisterhood, and I absolutely adored Phoebe and Bethany.
- The intersectionality of different aspects like neurodivergence, death of a parent, queerness and religion were refreshing I feel. It wasn’t just about the fact that Phoebe is autistic because it rarely is in real life I feel like. There’s so much more to a person and I loved how we could read how Phoebe navigated it all.
I wasn’t a fan of the ending probably because I could not understand the characters perspectives. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, just that it wasn’t a satisfying ending for me at all.
As a warning abortion is a plot point in this book and it navigates differing religious beliefs in a family. If that’s not your cup of tea I would be cautious with this book.
Things I particularly liked:
- Honestly I felt so seen in Phoebe even though we are so different it’s just such a beautiful representation for autism.
- I have a soft spot for strong female friendships that are like sisterhood, and I absolutely adored Phoebe and Bethany.
- The intersectionality of different aspects like neurodivergence, death of a parent, queerness and religion were refreshing I feel. It wasn’t just about the fact that Phoebe is autistic because it rarely is in real life I feel like. There’s so much more to a person and I loved how we could read how Phoebe navigated it all.
I wasn’t a fan of the ending probably because I could not understand the characters perspectives. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, just that it wasn’t a satisfying ending for me at all.
As a warning abortion is a plot point in this book and it navigates differing religious beliefs in a family. If that’s not your cup of tea I would be cautious with this book.
October 8, 2024
(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
Phoebe has gotten so used to her having her best friend, her close relationship with her father, and her dreams. But this new semester, everything will change. When Phoebe covers for her best friend, it sets off a chain of events which will change how she thinks of the people around her and her best friend. Finding Phoebe reminds me of the social games and hidden agendas, the secret words, that everyone seems to know which neurodiverse people struggle with.
In Finding Phoebe, Phoebe struggles with these white lies, these niceties we are expected to smooth over. But it's not only her having to lie for Bethany, Phoebe also discovers a new side to her father. We can think we know about our parents. That they don't have these hidden secrets, mistakes to cover up, and complicated decisions.
Phoebe has gotten so used to her having her best friend, her close relationship with her father, and her dreams. But this new semester, everything will change. When Phoebe covers for her best friend, it sets off a chain of events which will change how she thinks of the people around her and her best friend. Finding Phoebe reminds me of the social games and hidden agendas, the secret words, that everyone seems to know which neurodiverse people struggle with.
In Finding Phoebe, Phoebe struggles with these white lies, these niceties we are expected to smooth over. But it's not only her having to lie for Bethany, Phoebe also discovers a new side to her father. We can think we know about our parents. That they don't have these hidden secrets, mistakes to cover up, and complicated decisions.
July 3, 2024
4,5🌟
Já bych tak moc chtěla být kamarádka Phoebe, její přímé a logické uvažování je tak upřímné and i love it. Je chytrá, pečující a laskavá a prostě boží!
Prostředí Skotského ostrova, popisy přátelství, střed různých názorů a víry… MI LU JU
Já bych tak moc chtěla být kamarádka Phoebe, její přímé a logické uvažování je tak upřímné and i love it. Je chytrá, pečující a laskavá a prostě boží!
Prostředí Skotského ostrova, popisy přátelství, střed různých názorů a víry… MI LU JU
July 14, 2024
Phoebe is autistic and this is her story of friendship, the comfort of routines and navigating family and taking risks. Written by an author for his autistic daughter.
I would recommend for high school readers.
I would recommend for high school readers.
June 4, 2025
Phoebe è un'adolescente e come tale affronta tutte le sfide tipiche dell'età: primi amori, amicizie che cambiano, bugie ed incertezze, la sensazione di sentirsi sempre fuori posto.
Quando Bethany, la sua migliore amica, le chiede di coprirla mentre ha una relazione segreta, Phoebe si ritrova coinvolta in bugie, dinamiche sociali complesse e situazioni che mettono alla prova il suo mondo fatto di routine e prevedibilità.
Phoebe è autistica e la forza straordinaria di questo libro sta proprio nel non rendere l'autismo un tema centrale ma non facendolo comunque mai passare in secondo piano. Le caratteristiche della protagonista vengono trattare in modo naturale senza cadere nel pietismo o nelle generalizzazioni (sì dovrebbe essere sempre cosi ma no, non avviene quasi mai).
L'autore si concentra principalmente sugli aspetti sociali e relazioni che sono tipici dell'adolescenza, mettendo in evidenza come quelle che spesso vengono considerate
"caratteristiche sgradevoli" possono facilmente trasformarsi in punti di forza, cambiando prospettiva e mettendoci in ascolto dell'altra.
Perché, in fondo, ognuna di noi desidera essere vista davvero, nella propria interezza. Desidera potersi mostrare con coraggio e trovare comprensione e accettazione.
La scrittura è molto scorrevole, i personaggi ben caratterizzati e vengono trattati con delicatezza ed empatia anche temi come l'abo*to, il lu*to, il consenso e la scoperta della propria identità sas*uale.
L'autore ha scritto questo romanzo per la figlia autistica, con l'intento di offrire una rappresentazione autentica e rispettosa della neurodivergenza.
Quando Bethany, la sua migliore amica, le chiede di coprirla mentre ha una relazione segreta, Phoebe si ritrova coinvolta in bugie, dinamiche sociali complesse e situazioni che mettono alla prova il suo mondo fatto di routine e prevedibilità.
Phoebe è autistica e la forza straordinaria di questo libro sta proprio nel non rendere l'autismo un tema centrale ma non facendolo comunque mai passare in secondo piano. Le caratteristiche della protagonista vengono trattare in modo naturale senza cadere nel pietismo o nelle generalizzazioni (sì dovrebbe essere sempre cosi ma no, non avviene quasi mai).
L'autore si concentra principalmente sugli aspetti sociali e relazioni che sono tipici dell'adolescenza, mettendo in evidenza come quelle che spesso vengono considerate
"caratteristiche sgradevoli" possono facilmente trasformarsi in punti di forza, cambiando prospettiva e mettendoci in ascolto dell'altra.
Perché, in fondo, ognuna di noi desidera essere vista davvero, nella propria interezza. Desidera potersi mostrare con coraggio e trovare comprensione e accettazione.
La scrittura è molto scorrevole, i personaggi ben caratterizzati e vengono trattati con delicatezza ed empatia anche temi come l'abo*to, il lu*to, il consenso e la scoperta della propria identità sas*uale.
L'autore ha scritto questo romanzo per la figlia autistica, con l'intento di offrire una rappresentazione autentica e rispettosa della neurodivergenza.
January 29, 2025
this is another book my english teacher gave to me to read because she wanted an autistic person's perspective on it (but it was also on my tbr! win-win).
me and phoebe are similar in some ways, like how we won't do things we don't want to do, but i couldn't help but notice differences between us, like how she's an excellent student and i'm not.. we're kind of opposites in that sense; she's very skilled academically but not so much socially, whereas i struggle academically but i'm quite good socially (i'm better at reading social cues and body language than her, but i'm obviously not perfect!).
i was thinking throughout the whole book that phoebe was acting quite standoffish, when one of her goals was to be more social and branch out, then i was completely floored when she seemed to speak directly to me! ""i just wanted to apologise if i've been a bit standoffish over the last couple of weeks."" honestly, clocked.
i think phoebe is incredibly written, i didn't realise she was written by a man until now, when i'm writing my review!
""to be honest, i don't feel any differently about boys than i did when we were eight. they've got taller, their voices have got a bit deeper, some of them have grown more annoying, but... yeah, that's basically it.""
""phoebe, you don't need to change yourself for people to like you. i'll keep on saying that until you believe it. [..] trust me: there are tonnes of people out there who would love to have you as a friend.""
"when it comes down to it, reconciliation, like acceptance, is a simple thing-- no more than the silent shifting of a perspective."
me and phoebe are similar in some ways, like how we won't do things we don't want to do, but i couldn't help but notice differences between us, like how she's an excellent student and i'm not.. we're kind of opposites in that sense; she's very skilled academically but not so much socially, whereas i struggle academically but i'm quite good socially (i'm better at reading social cues and body language than her, but i'm obviously not perfect!).
i was thinking throughout the whole book that phoebe was acting quite standoffish, when one of her goals was to be more social and branch out, then i was completely floored when she seemed to speak directly to me! ""i just wanted to apologise if i've been a bit standoffish over the last couple of weeks."" honestly, clocked.
i think phoebe is incredibly written, i didn't realise she was written by a man until now, when i'm writing my review!
""to be honest, i don't feel any differently about boys than i did when we were eight. they've got taller, their voices have got a bit deeper, some of them have grown more annoying, but... yeah, that's basically it.""
""phoebe, you don't need to change yourself for people to like you. i'll keep on saying that until you believe it. [..] trust me: there are tonnes of people out there who would love to have you as a friend.""
"when it comes down to it, reconciliation, like acceptance, is a simple thing-- no more than the silent shifting of a perspective."
April 18, 2025
2.5 *
i won’t lie, i found this a bit of a hard read. i wouldn’t say there was anything bad about the story or writing and instead conclude that it jus wasn’t for me, simple. the way the paragraphs were set out made me struggle a little as i have a shocking attention span and big chunks of writing often lead me to either skip vital information or reread the same sentence about 20 times over. however, the fact this took me jus over a day to read must mean something !!
i can’t say i relate to phoebe massively but definitely to some extent with her thought process. i actually found more similarities towards my boyfriend, who read this prior to me and deducted it to be a brilliant representation of the autistic mind. that, to me, is enough. if someone who is autistic has said that this book feels right to them then who am i to argue ? i fear it’s not uncommon for me to say i like to understand sonder in my reviews (take a shot every review i mention the word. good luck.) so i believe this book to be an essential read in that aspect.
i did enjoy this book, which is shown clearly by the time it took to finish it. it was slow to start but once things started to happen some more, i got a bit hooked ! although, i would’ve been interested in hearing more from will’s side but considering that this is an account from phoebe’s personal experiences, i’m not surprised nor upset this didn’t happen.
make your own choices. believe your own faith. be yourself and have fun !! ily<3
i won’t lie, i found this a bit of a hard read. i wouldn’t say there was anything bad about the story or writing and instead conclude that it jus wasn’t for me, simple. the way the paragraphs were set out made me struggle a little as i have a shocking attention span and big chunks of writing often lead me to either skip vital information or reread the same sentence about 20 times over. however, the fact this took me jus over a day to read must mean something !!
i can’t say i relate to phoebe massively but definitely to some extent with her thought process. i actually found more similarities towards my boyfriend, who read this prior to me and deducted it to be a brilliant representation of the autistic mind. that, to me, is enough. if someone who is autistic has said that this book feels right to them then who am i to argue ? i fear it’s not uncommon for me to say i like to understand sonder in my reviews (take a shot every review i mention the word. good luck.) so i believe this book to be an essential read in that aspect.
i did enjoy this book, which is shown clearly by the time it took to finish it. it was slow to start but once things started to happen some more, i got a bit hooked ! although, i would’ve been interested in hearing more from will’s side but considering that this is an account from phoebe’s personal experiences, i’m not surprised nor upset this didn’t happen.
make your own choices. believe your own faith. be yourself and have fun !! ily<3
May 11, 2025
Wow 🥹🥹🥹
C’est la meilleure représentation de l’autisme que j’ai lue depuis très longtemps. Je suis assez sévère habituellement, je n’aime pas quand on tombe trop dans le cliché, mais ce n’est vraiment pas le cas ici. C’est l’histoire toute simple de Phoebe, qui navigue dans l’adolescence avec toutes les difficultés que ça implique. Elle a surtout des difficultés sur le plan social, mais elle s’en tire plutôt bien grâce à son amitié précieuse avec Bethany. Finding Phoebe, c’est le roman qu’elle écrit pour faire sens de son histoire et pour apprendre à se comprendre. C’est beau de la voir évoluer à travers les chapitres.
C’est la meilleure représentation de l’autisme que j’ai lue depuis très longtemps. Je suis assez sévère habituellement, je n’aime pas quand on tombe trop dans le cliché, mais ce n’est vraiment pas le cas ici. C’est l’histoire toute simple de Phoebe, qui navigue dans l’adolescence avec toutes les difficultés que ça implique. Elle a surtout des difficultés sur le plan social, mais elle s’en tire plutôt bien grâce à son amitié précieuse avec Bethany. Finding Phoebe, c’est le roman qu’elle écrit pour faire sens de son histoire et pour apprendre à se comprendre. C’est beau de la voir évoluer à travers les chapitres.
July 3, 2024
ACH! Tohle bylo něco úžasného!
V knize máme jedinečnou možnost nahlédnout do hlavy dívce, která má autismus a tím jí pochopit. Je to napsané strašně citlivě a.... prostě krásně.
Zároveň se tu řeší i další témata, které by nebyly lehké ani pro neurotypické, natož pro Phoebe.
Prosím, přečtěte si jí, dejte jí šanci. Dá vám toho mnohem víc, než se může na první pohled zdát.
V knize máme jedinečnou možnost nahlédnout do hlavy dívce, která má autismus a tím jí pochopit. Je to napsané strašně citlivě a.... prostě krásně.
Zároveň se tu řeší i další témata, které by nebyly lehké ani pro neurotypické, natož pro Phoebe.
Prosím, přečtěte si jí, dejte jí šanci. Dá vám toho mnohem víc, než se může na první pohled zdát.
April 21, 2025
« Une des choses que j’ai apprises au cours de l’année écoulée, c’est qu’on ne peut pas avoir de plan pour tout. Parfois, il faut essayer des choses différentes pour voir ce qui nous convient. Parfois, la vie est compliquée et il faut juste avancer un jour à la fois. » (Extence, Gavin. Finding Phoebe, p.390)
June 14, 2025
Read this off the back of The Universe versus Alex Woods (which I loved). I think I liked this even more. It was so well written and provided a deep insight into the challenges and thought processes of an autistic mind. The relationship between the two main female characters was so beautiful and heartwarming. Highly recommend
March 27, 2025
„Slova byla jen povrch. Důležité bylo všechno, co se skrývalo za nimi. Záměry, přístup, city. Když na to přijde, smíření je stejně jako přijetí jednoduché — nic víc než tichá změna perspektivy.“
June 23, 2025
Zajímavá kniha s nevšedním vhledem do hlavy a myšlenek mladé holky, která je na spektru. Často jsem si říkala, jak by byl svět jednodušší, kdybychom všichni říkali věci tak, jak Phoebe potřebuje.
Dojemná byla i slova autora na konci.
Dojemná byla i slova autora na konci.
June 25, 2025
"i’m looking forward for what you have to say."
the author’s note got me GOOD.
bought this book simply because it was the only copy, and it had my dog’s name. i miss you so much phoebe, i will keep finding you everywhere i look.
the author’s note got me GOOD.
bought this book simply because it was the only copy, and it had my dog’s name. i miss you so much phoebe, i will keep finding you everywhere i look.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews