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I Rant, Therefore I Am
Once again there's good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am .
Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television.
The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds.
Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am , and speaks his mind on topics
MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them."
COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours."
CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing."
FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment."
ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."
Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television.
The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds.
Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am , and speaks his mind on topics
MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them."
COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours."
CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing."
FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment."
ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."
224 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2000
7 people are currently reading
214 people want to read
About the author
Dennis Miller
120 books41 followersDennis Miller is an American stand-up comedian, political commentator and sports commentator, and television/radio personality. He rose to fame as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the late 1980s, and subsequently hosted a string of his own talk shows on HBO, CNBC and in syndication. He currently hosts a daily, three-hour, self-titled talk radio program, nationally syndicated by Westwood One.
In recent years, Miller has become known for his conservative political opinions, emphasizing a hawkish stance on U.S. military action and campaigning for Republican presidential candidates. He is a regular political commentator on Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor in a segment called "Miller Time," and on the network's Hannity & Colmes in a segment called "Real Free Speech."
In recent years, Miller has become known for his conservative political opinions, emphasizing a hawkish stance on U.S. military action and campaigning for Republican presidential candidates. He is a regular political commentator on Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor in a segment called "Miller Time," and on the network's Hannity & Colmes in a segment called "Real Free Speech."
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
August 5, 2012
Am purging and was going to throw this out but it's too damn funny. Perfect bathroom book.
"Accuse me of stereotyping, but when I see peopke with bad taste, I believe I know their lives through their uniquely tacky thumbprint. I saw a guy the other day who was perfect. He had on navy polyester blue Hagar slacks with brown snakeskin coyboy boots and a pink muscle shirt with green stripes. This guy has sideburns like I haven't seen since TBS last ran 'Play Misty For Me', topped with a comb-over that looked like it had been done by a spider on Xanax. Now, I know this man. He does not drive a Saab. He will only refer to pasta as 'noodles'. There are jumper cables sitting on his dining room table. His name is Don, but he goes by Ricky, which confuses relatives who want to buy him bowling shirts.
His wife's name is June, but he calls her Candy, except when she dips below 400lbs, he then calls her Dot. When he wants to make love, he winks at her and says, 'Doggy needs a walk', which prompts her to put on a miniskirt, which is comprised of more black velvet than the den of a West Virginia lottery winner. "
"Accuse me of stereotyping, but when I see peopke with bad taste, I believe I know their lives through their uniquely tacky thumbprint. I saw a guy the other day who was perfect. He had on navy polyester blue Hagar slacks with brown snakeskin coyboy boots and a pink muscle shirt with green stripes. This guy has sideburns like I haven't seen since TBS last ran 'Play Misty For Me', topped with a comb-over that looked like it had been done by a spider on Xanax. Now, I know this man. He does not drive a Saab. He will only refer to pasta as 'noodles'. There are jumper cables sitting on his dining room table. His name is Don, but he goes by Ricky, which confuses relatives who want to buy him bowling shirts.
His wife's name is June, but he calls her Candy, except when she dips below 400lbs, he then calls her Dot. When he wants to make love, he winks at her and says, 'Doggy needs a walk', which prompts her to put on a miniskirt, which is comprised of more black velvet than the den of a West Virginia lottery winner. "
June 17, 2012
What’s the biggest room in the world? Room for improvement. What’s the second biggest? Room for improvement with Dennis Miller in it complaining about the ugly wallpaper.
If we could make a living out of being professional malcontents, we’d be too late. Mr. Miller has cornered the market of the caustic quipster to become the head honcho of harassment and the superb sultan of simile. Rarely obscene but always pointed, Mr. Miller’s jabs force us to wake up and smell the coffee—and then realize that it’s cold and two days old.
He never seems to run out of things to complain about and, while they may be trivial (models, talk shows, fear of flying, e.g.), they inspire him to show just what’s wrong with his subjects. While he may be cynical, he never tips into despair. He leaves that job for his writers.
If we could make a living out of being professional malcontents, we’d be too late. Mr. Miller has cornered the market of the caustic quipster to become the head honcho of harassment and the superb sultan of simile. Rarely obscene but always pointed, Mr. Miller’s jabs force us to wake up and smell the coffee—and then realize that it’s cold and two days old.
He never seems to run out of things to complain about and, while they may be trivial (models, talk shows, fear of flying, e.g.), they inspire him to show just what’s wrong with his subjects. While he may be cynical, he never tips into despair. He leaves that job for his writers.
December 13, 2008
If you like Dennis Miller, this is a pretty good book. Most of these rants take place from his HBO show in late 90's, so they may seem dated. If Monica Lewinsky jokes are timeless, this is the book for you!
January 4, 2008
Before he went to the dark side III
December 16, 2008
dennis miller really tried to ride this rant thing into the ground huh? i mean....i don't want to go on a rant here....hee hee...but this whole thing was pretty lame after the first one...
June 25, 2008
By now it seems like I have read this all before. His comments that I use to find witty and insightful now seem contrived and drawn out.
October 1, 2008
What can I say? He gets 4 stars because he makes me laugh. But Dave Barry still makes me laugh harder.
October 4, 2008
Horribly dull. Epic fail.
December 20, 2008
dennis is funny but can get sorta mean
May 3, 2009
This is merely a collection of Miller's rants at the beginning of his HBO series. They're hilarious and worth reading as a therapy after reading something as heavy as Moby Dick.
December 2, 2009
Loving Dennis Miller's humor here...
November 30, 2011
I may actually finish this one someday...
October 5, 2011
Miller's witty erudite style of humor is one of my absolute favorites.
June 1, 2012
Ah Dennis, WTF happened to you? Still, this is a great book.
June 8, 2012
What the hell happened to Miller? He used to be so fuckin' funny. Back in the 80's his stand up was priceless. Now he's just a phony.
February 24, 2016
It takes more than a pitiable attempt to be shockingly obscene to achieve humor.
March 2, 2014
Dennis Miller rants about things I have heard before on his show so nothing new
June 17, 2024
Always a funny guy. But always relies too heavily on similes...drags it out too much.
September 22, 2024
About what so expected from a 25 year old book on the comedy musings of Dennis Miller. I don’t agree with everything he says, but a lot of it holds true and aged fairly well. All in all, not bad.
August 2, 2025
very dated
February 1, 2008
He rants therefore he rocks!
August 9, 2016
Any book by Dennis Miller is funny and entertaining. His wit and sarcasm is hard to match.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews