Lessons from the Monk I Married

by Katherine Jenkins

Lessons from the Monk I Married offers up ten of the most powerful lessons about life, love, and spirituality that Katherine Jenkins has gathered during her marriage to former Buddhist monk Seong Yoon Lee.

A seeker in the truest sense of the word, Jenkins went to Korea on a whim, hoping to find the answers to her deepest, most pressing questions about how to find peace and her purpose in life. During her first months there, she sought out a remote temple, where she unknowingly crossed paths with an unassuming Buddhist monk. Months later, they met again by chance—and fell in love. Though their courtship was long, mostly secretive, and fraught with logistical and spiritual considerations, Jenkins and Lee were ultimately married in Korea in 2003. Through their relationship, Jenkins discovered the most important lesson of No one holds the keys to peace and happiness—you have walk your own path and find your own wisdom through your own experiences.

More than the improbable story of a girl from Seattle who found peace of mind (and love) with a Buddhist monk, Lessons from the Monk I Married is an approachable guide to the most elemental spiritual questions of our day.

Genres: Memoir, Travel, Book Club, Asia, Buddhism

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 3, 2012

Reviews

[Katherine Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give it 5 stars! (But it's my book, so of course I may be a bit biased ^_^!) But I will say that my heart and soul went into it and those of you who have followed me on my blog (http://www.lessonsfromthemonkimarried...) know the process I went through to make this a reality. Thanks for reading it and may you all have the courage to share your own journey and not be discouraged by what others might say about it, for each person's journey is special and unique.

[Marcy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I admire Katherine Jenkins for leaving her roots in Seattle, Washington to travel to South Korea and find within herself a sense of purpose and peace in her life. What she found, instead, was a monk...and both of them realized that they loved each other very early on. It took years, however, for Seong Yoon Lee, to leave the life he had chosen when he was young. Katherine and Seong lived on and off together, traveling some of the time to live as a couple and not hide. Katherine lived for months without Seong as they both continued to meditate in places far from one another. She even traveled to Japan and taught there, with the purpose of "moving on..." I actually tired of reading about the on and off romance they had as they were both finding themselves. I am glad they figured out after ten years, they would make a go of it... I'm not sure I learned much wisdom, except that Katherine learned to be patient, working and teaching in a variety of cramped and cold places that were uncomfortable and dirty, waiting for the love of her life to turn to her for their uninterrupted future together...I do wish both Katherine and Seong much luck in their future together. I just found the story dull and lifeless...

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brave woman, Katherine Jenkins starts out on a journey with a friend, Becky to South Korea. Jenkins was to teach English as a second language to South Koreans. I was immediately absorbed in Jenkins book since I had experiences wanting to drop everything and pursue my inner passions. Let Go of Expectations is lesson number one. Jenkins offers an in-depth portrayal of the struggles she faced, with only pocket money at times, and putting up with substandard living conditions, which was the challenge she had to overcome to pursue her dreams. I admire Katherine Jenkins. Jenkins is an expert writer, and writes from her heart. The search for the love of her life takes her nearly to all corners of the world. There are 10 lessons she has captured along the way, in a wonderfully written, entertaining and thought-provoking style. Lessons from the Monk I Married is a true story. For the art of storytelling, this one you will remember, and want to read again.

[Elizabeth-anne Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only reservation is that sometimes I don't think the book goes far enough, as if the author was forced by her structure to draw conclusions that weren't ready to be drawn.

That said, I loved everything else about the book. So much of the synchronicity/timing that she mentions I feel that I have lived. She put into words experiences I've seldom (or never) found articulated, and if they're not perfectly articulated, perhaps it's because they're not frequently articulated. That in itself warrants 5 stars in my opinion!

[Bruce Park]

It is an inspiring story.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just wonderful. It was an adventure, a love story, a woman growing and evolving as a person. I loved every word.

[Madalyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

The character Becky is based on my mom so obviously I love this book and have read it many times

[Helena · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a close friend of Kathy I had a hard time reliving some of the events of her past in this book, but it was important to read because even though it is unique to fall in love with a monk, to some degree their circumstances mirror our own struggles with people or even situations we care deeply about. At times I felt like Katherine's husband, SY, was like "our shadow" and in other parts of the book, he is like a friend we wished we all had. Through the lessons Katherine highlights the importance of having a sense of humor and laughter-appreciating the struggles and what we gain from loss in addition to savoring the joys and magical adventures that only come if we stretch ourselves and let go. I am so proud of Katherine for publishing this book because it is both a love story and a lesson in staying focused, trusting yourself, and never giving up. -Key lessons for sure! The book will inspire you to do the same in your own life.

[Arminzerella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Katherine Jenkins was looking for direction in her life when she felt drawn to South Korea. She took a job there as an English teacher and her interests in Buddhism and meditation led her to befriend Su Nim, a monk, who later became her husband. This autobiography details the story of how they met and the challenges presented by their unique relationship and circumstances. Jenkins organizes this story around different lessons she learned along their journey. As these are the lessons *she* learned, the story told is entirely from her perspective and comes off a little one-sided. Readers may be curious to know more about her husband, the monk, and what his thoughts and feelings were (Jenkins doesn’t even include a photograph of her husband for those curious types). The story and the lessons get bogged down in places by the obstacles they face and Katherine’s misery whenever she is parted from Su Nim.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great. Extremely inspiring, and though it's not technically a novel, the story kept me turning pages. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who loves to travel.

The only thing that kept me from giving this book 5 stars was the way tension/conflict was quickly glossed over. Not so much with the relationship, but at other, more life-threatening moments: like crossing the river, crossing the mountains, the packed and dirty train cars, etc. They read almost like asides, and I think they could have really added to the story. So it's not that I didn't like how these events were presented; I just felt that the author missed some wonderful opportunities to further engage the reader.

Overall, a great read!

[WanderShopper · Rating 4 out of 5]

While in South Korea to teach English, author Katherine Jenkins meets a Buddhist monk and begins to take his mediation class before work each morning. A friendship develops between the two and later a romance. In “Lessons from the Monk I Married,” the reader will learn basic Buddhist principles along with the author as you follow the development of their relationship. If you are new to Buddhism, this is a great way to learn about its approach to life. Although I have heard many of the ideas many times, I find that I can’t be reminded of them enough. It strikes me how often I seem to reach for the right book just as I need to read it. I suspect this book, will be that right book, for almost all of you.

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simpatična knjigica o mladoj ženi koja sa 26 godina se odvažila za totalnu promjenu života. Nekako izgubljena i nezadovoljna svojim životom na američkom tlu odvaži se za promjenu i odlazi u Koreju podučavati engleski jezik. Nova okolina, novi ljudi, novi običaji pa tako se dogodi i nova ljubav. Zaljubljulje se u budističkog redovnika, kojemu se tim činom isto totalno mijenja život i čini mi se od one smirenosti koju je nosio u sebi, ljubav ga je totalno izbacila iz kolosjeka. :)) Ona našla svoj mir a on isto tako ali ne više kao budistički redovnik :D

Kako me ne zanima meditacija, joga...to sam onako ofrlje prolazila ali ima zanimljivih tema o strpljenju, strahu, stresu i kako ih prevladati.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find this memoir both a genuinely touching love story and an inspiration. Katherine Jenkins tells the story of how she first met and then--after several difficult years and against all conventions--married a Korean monk. She distills her story into 10 chapters, each illustrating a life lesson. Although very much about her own journey that begins and ends (so far) in Seattle and which takes the reader to Korea, India, Japan and Nepal, this book--sometimes funny and sometimes heart wrenching--has a universal quality. It's ultimately uplifting, which makes it a wonderful gift to anyone in need of a good story full of hope. I really enjoyed it!

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a beautiful gem of a book. The author was compelled to go to South Korea. I think she was following her heart. There she met a Buddhist monk, and the two of them began a painful journey about learning what obstacles must sometimes be overcome for things to fall into place as they should. This relationship went on and off for several years before these two people finally married. From the beginning, they both had intuitive flashes that they had known each other before. As I am a Buddhist, and I believe in reincarnation, I believe this is totally possible. I truly think this is a beautiful memoir of a spiritual journey by these individuals to become the essence of love.

[Elyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: Kathy has been my friend for 20 years and I knew her during the time portrayed in this memoir, so I could be biased, but I don't think so. Until I read this book, I did not understand the complex details of her journey with Yoon, probably because this book required a great deal of reflection over time. It was fascinating to read her story, even more so because she couples her experiences with the wisdom she gained during this personal odyssey. This narrative could have easily veered into preachy/sanctimonious territory, but Kathy avoids this and instead I felt like I was right there with her as a fellow traveler.

[Jesica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good quick read, very sweet and moving.
The story of a spiritual seeking twenty-something who finds herself in Korea and falls in love with a monk. I won't spoil the rest, but the title pretty much tells it all. Even though, it's not so much lessons "from" her husband/monk, as much as the lessons she learns along the way throughout her relationship. I think what makes the story universal is that there's nothing specifically Buddhist about any of those lessons; they're really the lessons I think we all have to learn as we go along in life if we're paying attention.

[Dena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick and enjoyable afternoon read. Not what I was expecting, as the book is more about the experiences the author has during the years she spends time with the monk who will become her husband, but the author points this out to the reader upfront. Reading about living in Korea makes me appreciate others ability to live in foreign countries in less than ideal conditions--don't think I'd have the stomach for it. I don't know that I took a lot away from the book, but it's well written and I like it for the glimpse it gives at living in another culture.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting autobiographical sketch of a confused young woman's life. Sadly, the monk whom she befriended was even more confused about his own life. I hope with the sale of this book, she is no longer finding her life circumstances as challenging. How spoiled we Americans are compared to the way a majority of the world lives. I don't think that Korea would ever be a place that I would want to live.

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title (also the name of Jenkins’ blog) pretty much encapsulates the focus of her book. She moved from Seattle to Korea in search of self and found true love. Her memoir covers several years with journeys through Korea, India, Nepal and Japan. The ten short chapters detailing life lessons are not overly esoteric but easily readable and authentic.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful true story. Romantic, spiritual, thoughtful and a fast fun read! So glad my dear friend Allison told me about this, her friend Katherine's book. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked the peace that seemed to infuse my body as I read this book. Definitely a lesson in trusting the Universe!

[else fine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Breezy and sweet, this little book also was unexpectedly helpful in forcing me to confront my deep seated dislike of yoga instructors.

[Melonie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a book about young love. In my opinion, the person that learned the lessons....was the monk.

[Gabrijela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pouke redovnika za kojeg sam se udala