I really enjoyed the story. It immediately draws me in with Abdulrazak Gurnah’s apt language, subtle yet enveloping tone, and the gradually tightening sorrow, like a silk cloth gently constricting the heart.
”When people know they are nearing the end of their lives, it is instinctual to look back on their life. We often say, "I'll take this secret to my grave," but in reality, we are not content to become an unsolved mystery. Before closing our eyes forever, we feel an unresolved need to face ourselves honestly. The past is not so easily forgotten; it doesn't disappear but instead takes root and grows. Time may bring a superficial sense of calm and reconciliation, but occasionally, something unexpected from the past will catch us off guard. At least, that’s how it is for me, dodging and weaving through life, making a weak and futile resistance against an ever - stronger opponent.”
This opening was already enough to captivate me, but Gurnah goes further, addressing the theme of immigration. Reflecting on where we come from is unavoidable; it concerns the survival and identity of outsiders. Immigration is a representative topic: you must abandon everything from your past and live in a completely unfamiliar place. Many of us have experienced being strangers in a foreign land, or as Gurnah puts it, fugitives. It requires immense courage. When I was in London, shopping at a mall near my apartment, standing on the long escalator with my headphones on, listening to local songs, I looked at the faces passing by me, realizing they would never understand what was playing in my headphones, nor comprehend my emotions at that moment. I was the one who needed to work hard to fit in, and it was my past that was being ruthlessly erased. This is the struggle of a drifter, inescapable identity anxiety.
The immigration story in the book is even more complex, involving issues of ethnocentrism, colonialism, painful history, and the hollow confusion of second - generation immigrants. This makes the story more three - dimensional and realistic, fitting well with Gurnah’s own experiences.
Gurnah is meticulous, and only such meticulousness and sensitivity can produce such beautiful prose, even while telling a fragmented story. The use of flashbacks, interjections, and multiple narrative perspectives creates a strong immersive reading experience.
All these while, I didn't think much about the importance of one's roots or returning to where one belongs. But this time, I felt that exhaustion, having lived a lifetime, and the burden of not being able to live carefreely. "And now I am still here, like a weary guest in my own life."
As Gurnah said, leaving is already a form of death; dying again doesn't seem like something that would be too hard to endure.
4.2 / 5 stars