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The Shaping of a Christian Family: How My Parents Nurtured My Faith
Elisabeth Elliot is one of the most loved and respected communicators of present-day Christianity. In this repackaged edition of The Shaping of a Christian Family, Elliot tells the story of her childhood to share valuable insights on raising godly children. She talks candidly on parental expectations, emphasizes daily Bible reading and prayer, and shows the benefits of practicing such scriptural principles as trust, discipline, courtesy, and teaching by example.
Complete with eight pages of treasured Elliot family photos, The Shaping of a Christian Family is a wonderful book of ideas and inspiration for new parents, experienced parents, and all who have come to trust Elliot's wisdom.
Complete with eight pages of treasured Elliot family photos, The Shaping of a Christian Family is a wonderful book of ideas and inspiration for new parents, experienced parents, and all who have come to trust Elliot's wisdom.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1992
115 people are currently reading
2605 people want to read
About the author
Elisabeth Elliot
177 books2,271 followersFrom the Author's Web Site: My parents were missionaries in Belgium where I was born. When I was a few months old, we came to the U.S. and lived in Germantown, not far from Philadelphia, where my father became an editor of the Sunday School Times. Some of my contemporaries may remember the publication which was used by hundreds of churches for their weekly unified Sunday School teaching materials.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
December 17, 2012
I likely would have given this book 5 stars but for one not-so-little thing... the author advocated spanking as a necessary form of discipline. Normally, once I encounter an author who is pro-spanking, I will not continue reading the book and I will choose not to read anything else from that author. Because normally I just can't take someone seriously who believes in hitting children and I certainly don't trust them. And if there is no trust - why choose to read their words? there are many other books and authors on my endless to-read list - why waste my time on someone who advocates for something that bothers me to my very core?
BUT the esteemed Elisabeth Elliot did such a wonderful job of describing her home life growing up and the various things her parents did to shape and raise their Christian family. As a first generation Christian, I often feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to raise a young man who seeks hard after God!
It was really quite the opportunity for to peek in the life of The Howards (Elisabeth Elliot's familly). They raised 6 children who all became adults determined to share God's love to the ends of the earth....and more than that - the warmth and love they all had (and still HAVE) for one another is something to behold! The author includes letters that were sent among family members and they are so priceless to read.
BUT the esteemed Elisabeth Elliot did such a wonderful job of describing her home life growing up and the various things her parents did to shape and raise their Christian family. As a first generation Christian, I often feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to raise a young man who seeks hard after God!
It was really quite the opportunity for to peek in the life of The Howards (Elisabeth Elliot's familly). They raised 6 children who all became adults determined to share God's love to the ends of the earth....and more than that - the warmth and love they all had (and still HAVE) for one another is something to behold! The author includes letters that were sent among family members and they are so priceless to read.
April 22, 2022
Four stars only because I didn’t realize a good portion of the beginning would be biography. It was very interesting and the latter half of the book was excellent, so convicting and encouraging. I am thankful for families like theirs who glorify the Lord and that we have their testimonies to read.
Reading about the Howards, their acquaintances and the quotes Elisabeth used throughout brought me back to much of what I read during my teen years and I need to go back and reread a lot of those books and missionary biographies… it has been too long.
Reading about the Howards, their acquaintances and the quotes Elisabeth used throughout brought me back to much of what I read during my teen years and I need to go back and reread a lot of those books and missionary biographies… it has been too long.
May 16, 2022
I was so sad when this ended because I wanted it continue! Such an encouraging read for those desiring to raise up a Godly family.
July 18, 2012
This book wasn't what I was expecting: It's mostly Elisabeth Elliot's parents' biography, interspersed with parenting advice. The biography part was okay, but since it wasn't what I was expecting I was a little disappointed that it took so much of the book. The parenting advice was good, but kind of the nostalgic "back in MY day" kind of advice that just seems to bemoan that the world changes over time. I took away a few good lessons from the book, but overall I wasn't very impressed.
November 11, 2016
This is the second time reading this book for me. After years of busily raising a large family and getting a caught up in the hurried matters of daily life, a review of the principles of a truly peaceful home are in order for me. This books strips away the extras and gets right down to the foundation. I think it is the simple, no-nonsense approach of Elisabeth Elliot (and her family) that appeals to me because I am the exact opposite.
January 9, 2018
This is my second, perhaps third, reading of this book. It greatly shaped me when my oldest children were small. When I met Elisabeth Elliot in 2002, she signed my copy of this book that God has used so powerfully in my life. It’s a very special book and a wonderful way to end 2017. God be praised for his help and faithfulness to us, using others’ testimonies to build us up.
Part biography, part practical instruction, full of hope and faith. The first few chapters document the meeting and courtship of her parents. The middle of the book is pure gold. The last few chapters I read with a perpetual lump in my throat.
Part biography, part practical instruction, full of hope and faith. The first few chapters document the meeting and courtship of her parents. The middle of the book is pure gold. The last few chapters I read with a perpetual lump in my throat.
December 14, 2025
This book is one very detailed and encouraging example of a godly family with biblical parenting, Christlike principles. We need to be reminded that God’s ways work, and that it’s not only possible to be obedient and faithful and fruitful parents, but it’s necessary, desperately needed - now more than ever.
July 25, 2025
Looking for parenting advice, I was at first a little put off by several chapters at the beginning of this book recounting in detail the author’s parents’ childhood and adulthood. But I came to appreciate that Elliot frames child-rearing as a multigenerational story that is leading to Christ, not an abstract set of principles for managing and preventing misbehavior.
Besides offering some tremendously helpful advice, this book is a worthwhile read because it achieves two things simultaneously: it elevates our standards both for ourselves as parents and for our children, and it helps parents into a posture of dependence before God.
Some chapters or premises are less helpful than others. I suspect a sacramental and non-decision-theology paradigm for faith would change how some of the ideas in this book are discussed and carried out. And the author seems to be coming from a perspective on femininity and masculinity about which I have serious misgivings. But by and large, this is a truly helpful engagement of the calling to raise children.
Besides offering some tremendously helpful advice, this book is a worthwhile read because it achieves two things simultaneously: it elevates our standards both for ourselves as parents and for our children, and it helps parents into a posture of dependence before God.
Some chapters or premises are less helpful than others. I suspect a sacramental and non-decision-theology paradigm for faith would change how some of the ideas in this book are discussed and carried out. And the author seems to be coming from a perspective on femininity and masculinity about which I have serious misgivings. But by and large, this is a truly helpful engagement of the calling to raise children.
August 6, 2024
A quiet, faithful little family story. I took lots of notes and will be re-reading this at some point!
November 7, 2021
I can’t say it was what I expected, but I can say it has been an excellent source of encouragement! Reading through it with a group of mothers has been so encouraging to me in my walk as a Christian mother.
August 24, 2019
I read this in small snippets. The first few chapters were a bit confusing, I had a hard time keeping the different family members straight. After that I found a lot of encouragement to continue seeking to glorify God with my family life. Where I live I don’t know many families living this way so it was nice to get inspiration from her family.
October 19, 2025
One of my top parenting books. Elisabeth shares what it was like to be raised by her parents and how it helped shake each of the five children into the adults they became (all Christian and most of them missionaries). Inspiring and absolutely beautiful.
August 21, 2008
Let me explain the 3 stars......the material is amazing. It has great insight to raising a wonderful Godly family which seems to be a lost art in most families...however, the style of writing was extremely hard to keep my attention...at little too frilly for me. The journal entries were a bore to me. :-)
December 4, 2023
This was a wonderful book. Elisabeth shares what it was like being raised in a Godly home, and intertwined is a memoir about the life of her Godly mother. Her call in the epilogue is to remind us this is just one story and not a prescription. But that if long to be a Godly family, “just do it” as God always makes a way for us to obey Him.
July 11, 2017
An easy 5 stars. This book was more biography than instruction --"description, not prescription". But what a description!
July 25, 2025
What a legacy.
The first few chapters set the stage for the rest of the book. If you are opening this book and expecting a more contemporary type setting for child training and family raising, then set aside those expectations. This is more or less the biography of Elisabeth Elliot's father and mother and how they chose to raise their family with the Christian values and love for God. It was packed full of wisdom and timeless illustrations for a Christian home.
I kept contemplating that while I have much to learn in the bringing up my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, I was deeply encouraged that my children would agree that their father and I have placed the Bible as the center of our home and teachings. And the encouragement found in the pages of Shaping a Christian Family that this is the way to walk therein. Not to fall with modern ideology that takes the focus off of Christ and places it on our own self through excuses and always being someone else's fault. Elliot has a natural way of being firm and resolved in her Biblical values, but presenting in a loving way.
Highly recommend.
The first few chapters set the stage for the rest of the book. If you are opening this book and expecting a more contemporary type setting for child training and family raising, then set aside those expectations. This is more or less the biography of Elisabeth Elliot's father and mother and how they chose to raise their family with the Christian values and love for God. It was packed full of wisdom and timeless illustrations for a Christian home.
I kept contemplating that while I have much to learn in the bringing up my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, I was deeply encouraged that my children would agree that their father and I have placed the Bible as the center of our home and teachings. And the encouragement found in the pages of Shaping a Christian Family that this is the way to walk therein. Not to fall with modern ideology that takes the focus off of Christ and places it on our own self through excuses and always being someone else's fault. Elliot has a natural way of being firm and resolved in her Biblical values, but presenting in a loving way.
Highly recommend.
March 15, 2024
This was a wonderfully encouraging read. In the afterword, Elisabeth reminds readers that this book is “descriptive, not prescriptive“ and that is the basis of my 5 Star rating. I loved hearing the stories of Elisabeth Elliot’s parents and siblings. I especially loved her chapter on teens as I have entered that chapter and appreciated her positivity and high expectations for teen years. Many of the ideas in this book would be condemned as outdated, but the happiness, success, and faithful lives of Elisabeth and her 4 siblings, are testimony to the solid upbringing by faithful, Christian parents. I listened to this (read by E.E.’s granddaughter) and plan to return to a hard copy this Summer with a pen for notation in hand, as there were many beautiful quotes I wanted to reflect on.
February 1, 2019
A sweet and touching book describing Christian family life of nearly 100 years ago! Though much has changed in the world since then, there are so many things to be learned about how a Christian family operated so long ago. Some of my favorite Elisabeth Elliot quotes come from this book. While reading it, I continually meditated on Proverbs 14:26, “In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.” What a wonderful legacy was left in that family! May godly parents now be encouraged to fear the Lord in the same way!
October 19, 2019
I’ve never read an Elisabeth Elliot book that I didn’t really enjoy and this is another great one. It was an extremely timely read for me and one of my favorite books she has written. Almost an autobiography of her family growing up and a testament to her parents who raised six kids, many of which became missionaries all over the world. I also love how she shares truth from beyond just what our current culture deems appropriate. So many good nuggets in this book; highly recommend it.
August 19, 2022
This was a very encouraging book to read! I loved this peak into how Elizabeth's parents carried out the commands of God in the leading of and caring for their family. I was encouraged by the simplicity of the way they raised their kids. At times I was a bit bored by details that Elisabeth went into, but she did so to paint clear pictures and that much she did succeed at.
October 8, 2023
Content was excellent but a little hard for me to follow in the way it was written.
January 31, 2024
Inspiring description of a Christian family. Not meant to be prescriptive but there are many wonderful biblically inspired principles to take away.
December 21, 2025
An exceptional book. I plan to read it again soon.
February 15, 2025
It’s my third time through this book, I’m encouraged by it every time.
June 22, 2023
This starts a little slow and is a memoir of sorts. Hang in there! When Elizabeth’s parents get married and start a family it is so rich and encouraging. Definitely will reread.
March 16, 2017
Give to all my children when they marry. If they forget what we've taught them, it's in here. I've found it to be such an inspiration.
July 1, 2018
I liked a lot of the principles in this book. However, her preface and afterword that this is just one way of being a Christian family seemed to get lost in the litany of how this was the ideal way to raise Christian children. Personally I felt burdened reading this—there’s no way to raise post-Depression era children in the year 2018 and I am firmly convicted that we don’t have to do so in order to “train up a child in the way he will go.” She did state that you can’t control your children’s salvation but then in her examples she would almost seem to believe the contrary. I also felt like some of her opinions (kids these days have too many toys, your house must be sparse, etc) would got categorized as Christian principles. For example, I think a home can be godly without having OCD neatness and that a woman can work and still value motherhood. I definitely disagree with her idea that letting a newborn go hungry and cry is the first step in Christian obedience for children. There were also several things I agreed with (training a child young, valuing knowing your children) and I am convicted to truly know more scripture as I read her parents’ letters and saw how scripture as encouragement flowed out so easily. I liked the part of the book that spoke about her parents’ formative years, too. The format of switching between her and her mother was a bit messy and the font for excerpts would get really tiny. Overall, I don’t think I would necessarily recommend this but I am sure I will benefit from reading it, if only to drive me closer to scripture.
April 17, 2018
I have long been inspired by the life of Elisabeth Elliot (and her husband Jim, of course) and have read many of her books (A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael being one of my favorites). She states multiple times that this book isn't a "how to," but rather a description of one Christian family's life - descriptive, not prescriptive. However, there were many moments when she failed to stick to that commitment, making judgmental comments about any Christian family who would choose a different path than the one her family took. If these were Biblically based, I could support that, but most of those statements were made about areas of Christian liberty, so that was frustrating and discouraging. I did take away some helpful nuggets and enjoyed reading about her childhood and family, but if you're going to read it, keep those "warnings" in mind.
May 8, 2016
I'm fairly certain that at the end of the year this will be one of my favorite books that I read in 2016. Elisabeth Elliot shares what it was like to grow up in the Howard family as a child. Not only was this book incredibly interesting, but it was inspiring! I felt so encouraged in my role as a mother to be intentional in the type of home life that Brandon and I provide for our children. I hope and pray that one day all of our children could look back and say that their parents did all that they could to nurture their faith. This is a must read! (Don't let the dated cover stand in your way.) Elisabeth Elliot has been one of my favorite authors for probably the past 15 years. I have been so blessed by her writings and inspired by her life. I've also tried to introduce as many of my friends as possible to her writings!
October 12, 2012
It took me nearly a year to make my way through this book. It was excellent. Many wonderful ideas, lots of great encouragement for parenting. At the same time, it is very much ONE family's particular story, and as it is told from Elisabeth Elliot's perspective as an adult after many years had past, it is definitely not a manual for how to have a Christian family... just one family's story. But it is a good one.
I did find myself discouraged in several places, feeling like I could never do as well as Elisabeth Elliot's parents did. She speaks to this at the end, though, and somewhat throughout the book, reminding the reader that it is the LORD who enables us to raise our children well.
I did find myself discouraged in several places, feeling like I could never do as well as Elisabeth Elliot's parents did. She speaks to this at the end, though, and somewhat throughout the book, reminding the reader that it is the LORD who enables us to raise our children well.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews