I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

Alan Partridge Chronology

by Alan Partridge, Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons

Book by Partridge, Alan.

Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder: Alan Partridge. Star of action blockbuster Alpha Papa; a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future.

Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma?

Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile at St. Luke’s Hospital in Norwich. After replacing Peter Flint as the presenter of Scout About, he entered the top 8 of BBC sports presenters.

But Alan’s big break came with his primetime BBC chat show Knowing Me, Knowing You. Sadly, the show battled against poor scheduling, having been put up against News at Ten, then in its heyday. Due to declining ratings, a single catastrophic hitch (the killing of a guest on air) and the dumbing down of network TV, Alan’s show was cancelled. Not to be dissuaded, he embraced this opportunity to wind up his production company, leave London and fulfil a lifelong ambition to return to his roots in local radio.

Now single, Alan is an intensely private man but he opens up, for the second time, in this candid, entertaining, often deeply emotional – and of course compelling – memoir, written entirely in his own words. (Alan quickly dispelled the idea of using a ghost writer. With a grade B English Language O-Level, he knew he was up to the task.)

He speaks touchingly about his tragic Toblerone addiction, and the painful moment when unsold copies of his first autobiography, Bouncing Back, were pulped like ‘word porridge’. He reveals all about his relationship with his ex-Ukrainian girlfriend, Sonja, with whom he had sex at least twice a day, and the truth about the thick people who make key decisions at the BBC.

A literary tour de force, I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan charts the incredible journey of one of our greatest broadcasters.

Genres: Humor, Comedy, Fiction, Audiobook, British Literature, 21st Century, Satire

320 pages, Hardcover

First published September 29, 2011

About the author

Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder – Alan Partridge – a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma?

Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile at St. Luke’s Hospital in Norwich. After replacing Peter Flint as the presenter of Scout About, he entered the top 8 of BBC sports presenters.

But Alan’s big break came with his primetime BBC chat show Knowing Me, Knowing You. Sadly, the show battled against poor scheduling, having been put up against News at Ten, then in its heyday. Due to declining ratings, a single catastrophic hitch (the killing of a guest on air) and the dumbing down of network TV, Alan’s show was cancelled. Not to be dissuaded, he embraced this opportunity to wind up his production company, leave London and fulfil a lifelong ambition to return to his roots in local radio.

------

Alan Gordon Partridge is a fictional radio and television presenter portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan and invented by Coogan, Armando Iannucci, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring for the BBC Radio 4 programme 'On The Hour.' A parody of both sports commentators and chat show presenters, among others, the character has appeared in two radio series, three television series and numerous TV and radio specials, including appearances on BBC's Comic Relief, which have followed the rise and fall of his career. He returned to television in 'Alan Partridge - Welcome to the Places of My Life,' which aired on Sky Atlantic in June 2012.

Reviews

[Mark Porton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a re-read (Nov 2021) and I enjoyed this, just as much, if not more than last year's experience

Alan Partridge is like a fine wine, vintage cheese - last night's vindaloo, he gets better with time. I laughed at the same stories as last time - just waiting - for that funny story I knew was coming. But I also enjoyed for the first time his other nonsense. My favourite being Alan's addiction to Toblerone, I loved his first person description of his own birth (yes his own birth!!) - there is so much more.

Alan is the most deluded, arrogant, self-centred, sad character you will ever come across -for those of you who haven't tried him - please, I urge you, to have a slice of Alan - he is absolutely hilarious.

Ahhhhhhhh 5 Stars (again)


I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan by the man himself was absolutely hilarious.


I was lucky enough to listen to this as an audiobook which really adds to the experience because listening to Partridge’s inane, supercilious, conceited, deceivingly cordial voice really completes the experience.


For those of you who don’t know Alan Partridge, he is the alter-ego of Stephen Coogan, an English actor/comedian/writer. Coogan has appeared in several funny movies over the years, including The Trip to Italy, The Trip to Greece, Stan and Ollie, Holmes and Watson and many others. The “Trip” series was really good and proved to be a perfect vehicle for Coogan to show-off his impersonation skills (along with the equally talented Rob Brydon).


Alan Partridge has been on the scene for several decades, mostly on British Television. His chat show “Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge” was perhaps one of his best known efforts where he frequently embarrassed his guests and/or made a complete arse of himself with his insensitive, ignorant, overly familiar and totally ridiculous questions.


Partridge, thinks he’s insightful.


Anyway, this mock memoir of Alan’s life is everything you would expect from this character. He takes us from his birth (graphically described), to his childhood, his schooldays, his education at the Polytechnic, his career as a Radio and TV presenter, the break up of his marriage to Carol, various affairs and his eventual retirement.


A snippet or two from this Mock-Memoir include:


”My father had a mind like a leather shovel”


”I slump against the phone box and slide into a heap on the floor, the calling cards of a hundred local whores raining down on me like big drops of prostitute rain”


When describing his time as a sports commentator he said:


”I cover sport, plus the Paralympics”


Then there’s:


”Wikipedia has made university education all but pointless”


”The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parenting skills”


”1974 was a crazy, hazy time……..The Sixties had come to East Anglia and it was a time of free thinking, free love and in my case free university accommodation”


The clever thing about Coogan’s work here is, he’s not telling jokes – he really is making fun of this dreadful monster of a Buffoon called Partridge. This character is not only unlikable, he’s also oblivious to his many short comings – and there’s the gag.


I spent over 6 hours listening to this in my car, to and from work, literally wetting myself laughing at the traffic lights lights, my lunchtime walks were also punctuated by guffaws, much to the surprise of passers by. Coogan is very talented, Partridge is cringeworthy and hilarious – if you love this mock-memoir, self deprecating, politically incorrect and very clever type of humour – I can’t recommend this enough.


I was so glad to stumble across this audiobook as Alan Partridge is one of my all time favourites. In fact I’ve just started listening to another one.


5 Stars

[Warwick · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I joined the BBC in the heady days of the early 2000s, Alan Partridge was still a legendary figure – pacing the corridors of Television Centre in immaculate flannel slacks, and spoken of in the same breath as the other master-interviewers of the modern era: Parkinson, Ross, Christian, Madeley. In many ways, he even influenced the great American talk-programme hosts like Letterman or Leno. Not in a literal sense, obviously, but perhaps in some other sense.

I only met the great man once, when I was just a cub reporter, wet behind the ears, and he was gracious enough to try and pass on some of his knowledge. ‘Let me give you a bit of advice,’ he said. ‘If your heart's set on going in there, for goodness sake avoid the second stall on the left – it quite literally looks like a war zone in there. It wasn't me; I only came in for some basic urination. I take care of everything else back home, thanks to a first-class Hinch VX50 chemical toilet, which genuinely would have made light work of that lot. Apart from that time I had some bad ham, it's handled everything I can throw at it so far. I certainly wouldn't expect work facilities to be up to the job. I mean I'm not a monster. I'm Alan Partridge.’ And then he was gone, like some apparition in a double-breasted blazer.

Over the years his star has waned a little. He left the BBC under something of a cloud (note – I'm not talking about personal hygiene, those rumours were put to bed a long time ago), but now, finally, Alan has a chance to give his own side of the story and set the ruddy record straight. It's all here, from the highs of hospital radio (‘In my time at the hospital, I was broadcasting live during the deaths of some 800 patients. It's a record that stands to this day’) to the lows of Toblerone addiction, which saw him gain an alarming amount of weight (‘Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit’). It's also rewarding for the fans to find out previously unknown details, such as the fact that his deal to return to radio was signed in the Symphony Café, Norwich (‘now, at long last, a Nando's’), or to gain a greater appreciation for Alan's love of the Highway Code (‘people forget that it doesn't just save lives, it's also a damn good read’).

Those of us who love him will be hoping he'll be back in our living-rooms soon. (Not in person – that would be time-consuming and borderline inappropriate – but through the medium of televisual broadcasting.) Until then, we'll keep tuning in to hear his ‘award-worthy’ mid-morning broadcasts covering the whole length and breadth of the North Norfolk area.

Essential reading for anyone who wants to discover the Alan behind the Alan, this handsome volume is taking its place on my shelf nestled proudly between Nelson Mandela's A Long Walk to Freedom and Saint Augustine's Confessions. It really is classic autobiography.

[Baba · Rating 3 out of 5]

On paper a wonderful idea, a memoir of a fictional character's career, and at times this is really funny; but after awhile the sameness of it all gets bit repetitive. There's no real story, I know that it's a memoir, but some sort of character growth or realisations would have made it all a bit more interesting.

Still on top of what I wrote above this is an absolute must for fans of Partridge as all his recorded 'career' highlights are included in this book, so you get the inside track on Knowing Me, Knowing You et al. Aha-ish 6 out of 12.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the funniest books I've ever read. After reading the book a friend told me that is was available as an audiobook with Coogan reading the entire thing in character. I might just play I, Partridge on a continual loop in my car from now on, it was that good.

"That – the liking of other people towards myself – found itself manifested with all the clarity this sentence has in manifesting itself in front of yourself as you currently read."

"Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine."

"Son to a dead father, father to a living son, TV personality, businessman, brand, rambler, writer, thinker, sayer, doer."

"...like some sort of confectionery Anne Frank."

"A few of them were old school which is biographical shorthand for alcoholic"

"I did a lot of crying as well. I’m not ashamed to say that now, but at the time I found ways to hide it. Mainly by doing the bulk of it in the shower. That way people can’t say what’s tears and what’s just hot water."

"I mention this because one of the other big boons of hotel life was the fact that water was free. I could use as much as I pleased. And believe me, I pleased. I’d often fill the bath, get in, then put the shower on too. It was like swimming in the sea during a tropical downpour. I called it my ‘Caribbean soak’. Bliss."

"Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies you’ve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. It’s clear and simple."

"Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS."

"People in Norwich are warmer-of-heart than their bitter London counterparts with their negative-equity and their stab wounds."

"His loss. Monkey Tennis was later snapped up by TV stations in Laos and Taiwan and ran for two successful years – after which the format reached the end of its natural life and the monkeys were quickly and humanely destroyed."

"I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988. The relief was, as Americans say, freaking awesome. The death of music on or before the release of Arthur 2: On the Rocks meant I was freed from the obligation of keeping up to date with contemporary music trends."

"But let’s not get hysterical. Some people assume it’s always wrong to smash a cripple in the face. But is it?"

"Glen, it turned out, was responsible for collecting up the coins that were tossed at the band, carrying them home and piggy-banking them. As such, he was often targeted by youths, vagrants and Scots."

"Just like a young chimp raised by humans, your grief can seem totally under control. But one day that grief will reach adolescence and dish out a frenzied and unprovoked simian beat-down."


"So, dear reader, our time together is over. All that remains is this short epilogue. And anyone who thinks it’s designed solely to haul me over the minimum word-count specified by my publisher is very, very, very, very, very, very wrong."

[James Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's funny, then there's Funny, and then there's Alan Partridge!

I loved the TV Show but this audiobook was something else. Whenever I'm not feeling great, I throw this on and laugh myself silly. It's amazing just how much humour Steve Coogan can squeeze out of one character.

I would definitely recommend the audiobook. My imagined Patridge voice can't hold a candle to the real thing. 'Ah Ha!'

[Blair · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's probably not a great deal I can say about this, really; the fact that it's a spoof autobiography of a fictional comedy character tells you all you need to know. If you're a huge fan of Alan Partridge, you'll probably find it a very amusing read - if you're not, well, it's not going to be of much interest. The narrative captures Alan's voice brilliantly - I almost felt I could hear him speaking as I read it - but I kept having to take a break from it, as there was only so much of this I could take at any one time (it turns out you can have too much Partridge). Thankfully it's not just a rehash of material from the TV series, and it's quite obvious a lot of work has gone into making this book funny and original at the same time as staying true to what fans know of Alan's life, right down to the 'Forward Solutions' motivational seminars from Steve Coogan's 2009 live DVD. I did laugh out loud quite a bit, but some parts were a lot funnier than others, and at points I got fed up (not clinically, though) of reading it. This is a very amusing book and it's more than a let's-rush-this-out-in-time-for-Christmas job, but it's something I doubt I'm going to be reading again.

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the stocking filler timing of its release, this ranks as the second funniest book I've ever read. Written in the style of the unreliable narrator, its an autobiography of the fictional radio and TV presenter Alan Partridge.

If you don't know who Partridge is, this book will read as a brilliant satire of any minor celebrity that has cashed in on writing a life story the world really could have done without. All the tropes are there: dramatizing a mundane childhood, hamming their life up as a valiant story of triumph in the face of adversary, other celebrity bashing and name dropping (poor Bill Oddie!) and the steamy tabloid quotable parts all while padding out a boring an uneventful life to the minimum words required. You can feel his publisher over his shoulder the whole time.

If you're a Partridge fan, its even better, it has a fictional scoop of what happened behind the scenes of his TV shows Knowing Me Knowing You and The Day Today through Alan's rose tinted lens, for example the legal repercussions of accidentally shooting a man dead on TV.

There are clever lies you catch him out on when he retells events from I'm Alan Partridge (which in the Alan Partridge universe - or Alanverse - never existed as TV shows following the character around)

On those shows, Alan often runs off like an enraged, deranged coward, when Alan tells them in this book, they read like something from a Tom Clancy novel which is another brilliant thing about the book: Its written flawlessly in character. They invent new material, but play out Alan as the person they already built up. All his ticks, mannerisms and peculiarities all blend into the perfectly believable (horrible, pathetic) human being that is Alan.

Newcomers can read it as is and never read another celeb autobiography without sniggering at this one's lampooning. For fans of the whole character I would recommend getting the audiobook so you can hear Steve Coogan read it in all 7 hours of glorious Alan (with nasality reduced by 25%.)

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally wanted to do one of those reviews where the reviewer — that is to say I — takes it upon themselves to parody the style of the book and/or electronic version of the book (either Amazon Kindle or audiobook format) in question. But! — and this is a big but — a but so big that when suddenly placed unsuspectingly in front of a car driving along one of the 70mph sections of the A47, the resultant thwak might be ferocious enough to give the car’s lady driver a case of Minor Woman’s Whiplash (why must she insist on not keeping her head in contact with the headrest in the correct fashion as prescribed by the 2022 Highway Code?)… Anyway, where was I?... But!… but, I fear that I am too dissimilar to Partridge to adequately achieve the required level of acute assimilation for such a review. I take this as a point of pride: Are impersonations of bad people really something to be impressed by? Are they truly something to admire or fornicate over? What would we be celebrating? — I’m the first to admit that I’m envious of Rob Brydon’s Michael Caine impression, or North Norfolk Digital’s James Galbraith’s Desmond Tutu (an impression so good that he almost doesn’t need to black up), but am I envious of writers who can recreate Partridge? No! — This was a realisation that took some soul searching, but, the truth is, I’ve come round to the fact that all this inability really means is that I’m too far removed from Partridge’s essence to properly inhabit his fleshy confines: that I’m, dare I say it, better than him. In fact, the only things I have in common with Partridge are that we both love a bit of Clarkson and that we have both, in the past, misdiagnosed ourselves with cancer of the ball bag. Sure, Partridge is a funny guy, and the fact that he was born with an aura — a magnetism — a certain je ne sais quois — is part and parcel with the Partridge paradigm, but he is also devil-may-care with his facts and often lacks specificity (here, it should be noted that, despite Partridge’s claims, the A47 does not have assigned junction numbers and neither is it possible to reach the M74 from the A74 — pre-2008 M6 extension — without first traversing the full length of the A74(M)). And so, if people think it does bother me that I can’t impersonate him, or that in their sniggering they're getting one over on me, or that it might be a good way of riling me, they could literally not be further from the truth. I do not give a fucking shit either way!

Jay’s funny video…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA0gm...
“What a funny video!”

[Nigeyb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got given 'I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan' as a present when it first came out in 2011 and, after years of remaining unread, I decided I was probably never going read it and gave it away. Fast forward to 2016 and it was chosen for my book group, and so it was I came to finally read it.

Despite not having read it, I am a big fan of Alan Partridge and have enthusiastically followed his various appearances on radio, TV and cinema. What I discovered reading this "autobiography" is that it’s possible for even the keenest fan to have too much Partridge.

There are some very funny sections and Alan’s self-aggrandisement, self-delusion, absurdity, pettiness and point-scoring are invariably amusing however, with 33 chapters, there is a lot to get through and it sometimes got quite monotonous.

I listened to the audio book, which I think is unquestionably the way to experience the book, however I had to take regular breaks as it got a bit wearing.

The books stays true to Alan’s story as outlined across the various TV series and so is a nice trip down memory lane for the character’s fans and a lot of effort must have gone into it. I was inspired to revisit a few of the scenes to compare Alan's unreliable narration in the book with how the events were depicted in the various episodes, and that added another level of enjoyment and nostalgia to the experience. The Jed Maxwell superfan episode being a good example, Alan's descriptions of a heroic fight in 'I, Partridge' is completely at odds with the reality.

I did laugh out loud a few times. The spontaneous applause on a train, which Alan concludes is for him, and not the disabled war veteran opposite him, is hilarious. The joke is undermined by the explanation that quickly follows, presumably in case the reader hadn't worked it out. Alan also, whilst at a BBC editorial meeting, notices the teaspoon by the tea urn had been put back in the sugar after being used to stir tea...

“Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS.”

I enjoyed the last few chapters the most, probably because I was unaware of what had happened to Alan more recently, as his most recent shows were on Sky Atlantic TV, a channel I don't have access to. I had to go straight online to view scenes on YouTube of Alan and Sidekick Simon on air at North Norfolk Digital.

Overall though, and even for diehard fans, 'I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan' is completely inessential and, as I say, just a bit too much Partridge. I’d be amazed if anyone has read it more than once.

[Andy Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Consistently funny and entertaining, I've rarely laughed out loud so many times at one book.

Written "in character", it gives a fascinating insight into the thought process of the oft-deluded, always derided persona that IS "Mr Norfolk Radio".

The simultaneous tragedy and genius of Alan Partridge is that he's a loser who doesn't think he's a loser. No matter what happens to him, whether it's self inflicted or out of his hands, it's never, ever Alan's fault, and it's never, ever a setback - it's always an opportunity to explore other avenues. Fired from the BBC? Didn't want to work for such a bloated corporation anyway. Shunted to the "graveyard slot" on local radio? An ideal chance to speak to a captive audience who will be genuinely paying attention, not using you as background noise while they drive to work, or potter about in their home.

Reading this book allows you to explore and understand how somebody consistently reaches and maintains that thought process and approach to life, even in the face of what appears to be overwhelming evidence that you're getting exactly what you deserve. I particularly loved his recollections of his childhood, and the desperate way he tried to paint himself as misunderstood and unfairly treated, when, in fact, much of his younger years were what would be termed as idyllic - apart from the problems his approach to life bought on himself, of course.

You may think that knowing so much of what occurs in the years covered by the television programs would make certain sections dull and predictable; but instead, when they're seen through Alan's eyes, you're presented with a version of events painfully funny and excruciatingly at odds with what really happened. Witness, for instance, the momentous meeting with Tony Hayers in the BBC restaurant when Alan is definitively and finally told there will be neither a second series of Knowing me, Knowing you, nor, indeed, any other programs made by Alan with the BBC. On television, the scene was one of a desperate man breaking down before our eyes, but as related by Alan in the book, he's a mixture of Chuck Norris and Stephen Fry, mentally and physically controlling the dialogue and the situation in a way that brings his awestruck fellow diners to their feet in rapturous applause.

Can't recommend this book highly enough - it's a laugh out loud, joyously funny book telling the story of a man who is singularly unable to realise that virtually every setback he has ever encountered in his career is his own fault, and who has boundless optimism and an almost psychotic conviction that his big break is just around the corner.

Alan Partridge - a loser who thinks he's destined to be a winner. You gotta love it.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

As funny as you'd expect, which is to say pretty damn funny. Partridge remains one of the most fully developed and endlessly fascinating comic creations of recent years, in my opinion, and none of that fascination wanes over the course of 300 pages of autobiography, even if some of it does go over old ground already covered in his various TV and radio shows. Some reviews suggest it also works as a satire on celebrity memoirs, but I wouldn't know as I've never read any. You probably already know if you'll enjoy it or not based on how amusing you find his incarnations in other media. Hard to imagine anyone picking this up who doesn't have at least a passing familiarity with him, although sometimes having seen certain episodes gives you an advantage. The "Smell the cheese!" incident related here from Alan's point of view, for example, is far funnier once you've seen the more "objective" presentation on TV in "I'm Alan Partridge".
One thought: this may be one of the few cases where the audio book is superior, as hearing Partridge narrate with his own inimitable cadence and inflections would inevitably improve on reading it in the Partridge voice in my head.

[Udeni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alan Partridge is a fictional character, a radio show host of unfailing arrogance, literal-mindedness, resentments, and heroic cluelessness. "I, Partridge" is a parody of every celebrity autobiography you've ever read. The difficult childhood, the early rise to success, the struggles with addiction (In Alan's case, to Toblerone), the feuds with colleagues, a disaster that could have ended a career (in Alan's case, punching the controller of Radio 4 in the face with a stuffed turkey), and a final, phoenix-like rise from the ashes.

A brilliant team of writers leave no cliche unturned and no metaphor under-extended. Bathos is everywhere. A tone is reached for and dismally missed. Here is Alan, typically petty and misguided, on why he hates students:
"These people might be able to tell you which French films Jean-Luc Picard was in, but I bet you any money, they wouldn't be able to re-attach a stopcock if it became loose. Utterly useless people."

It's taken me two months to finish the audiobook because I kept having to stop the car because I was laughing so much. Comedy gold.

[Anthony Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful and compelling autobiography from one of the giants of British Broadcasting. Partridge gives us a courageously warts and all account, from his in no way invented nightmarish childhood to his in no way embellished and misremembered career as perhaps the finest sports reporter / chat maestro of his day. Also features some fascinating insights into the revolution in British garage forecourt design and the most effective tank of World War II. Do yourself a favour and pick up the audiobook, as Patridge's voice leaves no room for doubt as to why he clawed his way into, and then out of, the pantheon of broadcasting greats.

[Stephen Hero · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoiler alert. Actual quotes from the actual book:


Do you believe in guardian angels? I do. Not the winged ones you see in films. As I’ve often explained to my assistant (a Christian female), as well as being aerodynamically unfeasible, wings sprouting from the shoulder blades would pull the ribcage backwards and gradually suffocate the angel – a cause of death that’s similar, ironically, to that of crucifixion.


So, in early 1977 I cycled the 26 miles to Carol’s parents’ house to meet with her father and request his daughter’s hand in marriage. But when I got there I was on the receiving end of an almighty curveball. ‘Hello, Alan,’ said Carol’s dad, Keith. ‘Hello, Alan,’ said Carol’s mum, Stella, not bothering to think of a greeting of her own. Within seconds, I had nodded back at them. I would have spoken, but I’d just cycled the equivalent of a full marathon. ‘What brings you out this way?’ I put my hand up as if to say, ‘Give me a minute, will you, Keith? I’ve just cycled the equivalent of a full marathon.’


The early stages of the pregnancy were equally tough for both of us. For the first ten weeks Carol suffered from almost incessant nausea, not to mention frequent bouts of oral vomiting. While, for my part, I was having hell’s own job getting a reasonable quote for a new fan belt.

[James Tingle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this quite a few years ago and then the sequel, Nomad, a while later and while Nomad is very funny, this one is extremely amusing. I was wondering the other day if this book and the sequel would work if you hadn't seen the TV programmes and as I've seen the shows multiple times, I really cannot be entirely sure on that. I will say though that if you haven't seen the shows, watch them first and then read the books as you need Alan's voice in your head to truly appreciate the comedy magic. It starts off with his childhood and moves on through his adult life and career and chronicles his various grievances with work colleagues, family members and heads of programming, among others, as well as Alan sprinkling his scathing societal views about the place at will.
Fans of the various TV shows will love this book and the sequel and the humour will appeal to all fans of British comedy and the books act as a lovely bonus, after you've run out of episodes to watch and still desperately need another Alan Partridge fix!

[Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book while lying in bed all day with a rare form of nose cold. This was not man flu as some colleagues who are jealous of me suggested, but the very specific and unique disease Akingaliousis syndrome [CHECK SPELLING] confirmed by a thorough and rigourous and accurate self-diagnosis using the Internet. Anyway, the point is the bed is a marvellous model. Queen size no less and of very solid construction (four inbuilt sliding drawers option) providing superb firmness with just the required amount of give to indicate premium quality. I acquired it from IKEA at 25% discount in 2011. I'm sure it was only discounted as I subsequently discovered it had recently been featured in a television advert that included two obviously homosexual men. As everyone who knows me knows that I'm not homophobic (or racist), I immediately took advantage of their shop pricing error and needless to say I had the last laugh.

PS. The book was first rate

[Sherif Nagib · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكناب ده درس في إزاي الواحد ممكن يكون ماسك شخصية كوميدية لأدق أدق تفاصيلها واستطراداتها وملحوظاتها الدقيقة. الكتاب ساخر ومفروض إنه بيروي قصة حياة "ألان بارتريدج". شخصية كوميدية خلقها الممثل البريطاني "ستيف كوجان". سمعت النسخة الصوتية من الكتاب بصوت "ستيف كوجان" بعد ماقريت تويت لواحد من مخرجيني المفضلين في مجال الكوميديا (إدجار رايت)بيرشح، وأرشحه بشدة. سبع ساعات من الضحك الفشيخ، والأداء الصوتي ممتاز.

[Rob Bick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Back of the net

[Lenore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious

[Patrick Neylan · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Hey Steve, reckon we can squeeze any more cash out of Partridge?"
"Nah, I'm fed up with him, to be honest."
"How about a spoof autobiography? We'll just rewrite some sketches where he talks about himself. All you have to do is pose for the cover. Maybe a coupla days' work on the audiobook."

Partridge is a classic TV and radio character, but much of his comedic impact comes from Coogan's characterisation and his pompous interplay with his guests and interviewees. In book form, those two aspects are lost (unless you're listening to Coogan's audiobook version). In other words, two-thirds of the humour is lost in a book. The constant reiteration of old routines in which a boring plonker massages his own ego gets a bit tiresome in book form.

The title is symptomatic of the writers' cash-in attitude. "I, Partridge" is more in keeping with the character. "We Need To Talk About Alan" is funnier. They used both, which suggests they really weren't bothered about the final product. But the writers deserve a bit of credit for making it a little bit funny, but reading a book this size requires 8-10 hours of anyone's time, and that's a long time to spend in the company of a boring, vainglorious oaf.

Die-hard fans will probably love it, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started out strong and was funny throughout but by the audiobook's end, I was a little Alan-fatigued. The character is great and the stories are well told but the quirks and foibles eventually wear you down. The little verbal radio call sign jingle Alan does when he talks about his last job is a joke that works for the first two times. The tenth time he does it in the book and it's irritating. I know it's supposed to be and that's part of the joke, but my plans to follow this up with Partridge, Nomad have been shelved temporarily.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny throughout!
I was expecting this to be aimed squarely at Partridge fans, but really this is entertaining enough as a parody of any celeb navel-gazing autobiography.

Jurassic Park!

[Joe Richards · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really is Jurassic Park. I'd let it kiss my face if it could. Liquid reading.

[Ross Maclean · Rating 5 out of 5]

An impressive feat managing, as it does, to cleverly weave together disparate aspects of Partridge from (at the time of writing) around 20 years of the character across different mediums, subgenres and writers’ work. It genuinely works as an enriching accompaniment to a character I’ve obsessively adored for the majority of my life, teasing out foibles of his personality when he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. It occasionally ties itself in knots trying to make the timeline work and there is the odd stretch that’s (intentionally) dull but it never sounds less than authentically Alan, with the footnotes device helping sustain it. A fine parody of the celebrity autobiography genre that has a ring of authenticity and is at its best when giving Alan’s inflated, self-serving version of events we’ve seen depicted in the shows. Throwing any and every mechanism at it – from curated playlists to self-penned contributions from others – it’s a far more finely tuned experience than it reasonably needed to be to truly see Partridge as he sees himself (—or, more accurately, deludes himself into seeing, or even flat-out lies to present the version of him he wants us to see).

[Barry Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious - and I'm glad I listened to the audiobook as even though the writing is very funny, Coogan's unmatched delivery as Partridge really elevates it.

I love how events from 'Knowing Me Knowing You' - which in the universe of Partridge was a talk show broadcast on live TV - there is a kernel of truth to his lopsided re-tellings because the reader/listener will have seen it for themselves; but for the events of 'I'm Alan Partridge' which is a more conventional sitcom that the character would assume no one saw but himself, he delves into completely over the top lies where he always comes out on top as a conquering hero.

[Simon Tudge · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's quite funny, very funny at times. Gets slightly old. Luckily it's quite short. I audio booked it, read by Mr Coogan, in character, himself, which is where most of the humour comes from. I think dead tree format would not be so amusing. Three stars as it starts to grate around the 75% mark, otherwise i chuckled a lot

[Emerson Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth reading as slow as possible to soak in the comedic genius of every sentence. This book is so crammed with jokes that it gets exhausting, but in a good way, like eating a quarter portion of glazed ham in a hot bath.

[Jillian Wertzberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

lovely bit of business

[Robert Cavanagh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needless to say I had the last laugh

[Joe Stephenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is the best book I've read since Gary Wilmots autobiography