Tout à l'ego

by Tonino Benacquista

Comment se souvenir de ce que l'on faisait le 17 juillet 1994 à vingt-trois heures précises, même si c'est une question de vie ou de mort ? Comment rencontrer ouvertement sa maîtresse devant une épouse maladivement jalouse, sans que celle-ci s'en aperçoive ? Comment imaginer un plan infaillible pour ne pas appeler sa femme du prénom de sa maîtresse du moment ? Et comment diable se débrouiller pour que personne, et surtout pas l'unique réparateur du village, ne sache que l'on regarde des films X en cachette, quand la cassette se coince à l'intérieur du magnétoscope ? Les héros de ces dix nouvelles sont des personnages bien ordinaires, confrontés à des situations extraordinaires, et qui, de petites lâchetés en mensonges minables, vont se retrouver fatalement dans une position aussi intenable que réjouissante...

Genres: France, Fiction, Short Stories, Roman

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Manny · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's this well-known fact that the recent past is the strangest period in history. I mean, not that long ago it was the present, and then what happened? So, earlier today, I was reading this rather mediocre Benacquista collection on the train and ran into the following story, published as recently as 1997. The hero is happily married, two young kids, lives in a little French village. The family's favourite toy is their VCR. (Remember VCRs?) There's always a friendly fight in the evening about what movie they're going to watch.

What the rest of the family doesn't know is that Dad has a secret porn habit. Late at night, when everyone else has turned in, he sneaks off and watches half an hour on the VCR. Then, when he's suitably aroused, he gets into bed with his wife and they do all the naughty things he's just been watching. He loves it, she loves it, and it's done wonders for their marriage.

But... one day, the tape refuses to emerge from the machine when he presses the eject button! He tries all the tricks he can think of, but Cum-Hungry Sluts #17, or whatever it is, is obstinately stuck. The next day, everyone discovers that the machine is out of action. They ask him to take it in to the video shop to get it fixed, but it's a little village, the guy who runs it doesn't like him, and he knows that his secret will be all over town inside two minutes.

So he keeps on making excuse after excuse, and everyone is madder and madder at him. In the end, he resolves on a desperate expedient. He fakes a burglary, making it look like someone has broken in and stolen the VCR. (He also takes the opportunity to steal the hideous vase which his wife loves, but which he can't stand). He dumps everything at the local tip. The VCR was insured, so they can get a new one. Problem solved.

And now the twist! A few weeks later, a stranger shows up at the front door. He was poking around at the tip, and found the VCR, still in good working order. There was a label on it, and he felt obliged to track down the owner. Of course, it still has the tape stuck inside. But, somehow, the stranger is able to unjam it, and then everyone is curious to see what it is. They put it on, and our hero is just about to be unmasked... when his nice wife says that this tape has caused so much trouble that she isn't watching another second. She takes it out and bins it. Phew!

Well, it's a terrible story, and I won't even start counting the logical holes. But the thing that struck me most was the way it highlighted how perceptions of porn have changed since it was written. I just can't imagine this happening today, but I don't think it was that implausible in the 90s. It is a little scary to see how quickly porn has gone mainstream.

[Elizabeth Managan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up after my French teacher suggested my French practice reading would probably work better if I tackled short stories instead of a novel, since it's easier to pick up and put down. This fit the bill quite well - there is new vocabulary but not so much that I couldn't follow the thread. PLus Benacquista has a slightly wicked sense of humor that is entertaining.

[Nadiya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I consider Benacquista a Tarantino of literature. His plots are unexpected, his ideas sometimes go beyond the line, the stories are simple but can leave a lasting impression.

[Catherine Letendre · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recueil de nouvelles toutes surprenantes.

[Paola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Très bien écrit, toujours avec un final à surprise. Il mérite un 4 mais j’aime moins le style nouvelles, car trop court.

[Luis · Rating 4 out of 5]

divertissant

[Alexandra D'Hiroshima · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sans intérêt, bon pour un scénario bd pour boomers
style d’écriture désagréable, n’en lirai plus sur cet auteur

[Billy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Certaines sont vraiment sympa d’autres sont (trop) longues

[Mireille Duval · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ce pauvre livre a souffert du fait qu'il n'était pas Saga, pis aussi que j'aime pas tellement les nouvelles, surtout dans l'autobus quand j'ai rien à faire entre deux histoires (ce qui la méthode que je privilégie pour lire des nouvelles, question d'absorber un peu avant de replonger). Certaines histoires étaient pas pires (l'idée derrière La boîte noire et Transfert, quoique dans les deux cas j'ai pas raffolé de l'exécution), surtout les chutes, mais d'autres étaient franchement désagréables (La pétition était probablement celle que j'ai le moins aimée). Q.I avait beaucoup de potentiel pour en faire une histoire plus longue, un peu à la Saga.

Reste que monsieur Benacquista a beaucoup d'idées, et que ça, ça m'impressionne toujours.

[Oxana Bondarenko · Rating 3 out of 5]

A handful of entertaining short stories from the author of the ranking-breaker "The Saga". A pleasant two-hour reading, a couple of stories with really unexpected endings but nothing memorable in particular.

[Constance Fastré · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice little book! Most of the stories are original and well-written. What else could I wish for?

[Gita Madhu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Managed to read a couple of stories-quite charming in terms of style and content.

[Lev Ratinov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Manipulating the expectations of the reader is very trendy now in film and books. I sometimes felt that here, the author is trying too hard, and in a bit teenagery flavor. but it was an amusing read

[Adele · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nouvelles très inégales. Certaines sonnent justes, sont touchantes, poétiques, drôles. Pour d'autres, le sujet est bon mais l'histoire écrite me déçoit un peu.
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