Mommy I'm Still in Here: Raising Children with Bipolar Disorder

by Kate McLaughlin

Mommy I'm Still In Here clarifies myths and misunderstandings about bipolar disorder through the lives of Kate McLaughlin’s two teenaged children and provides vital information to a public frequently misled by sensationalist media and inaccurate Hollywood portrayals. This book supports, educates, and informs the reader, offering hope and encouragement.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

206 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2008

Reviews

[Trupti Dorge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am constantly surprised by the knowledge books provide, the way they let you experience and imagine things that could never have been possible otherwise. The way they tell stories that surprise, horrify or humble you. Mommy I’m still in here is one such story. As the tag line says ‘It is the story of a family’s journey with bipolar disease’.

I don’t know about others but I knew nothing about bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness.

Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it; an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.
The author Kate had a perfect family with husband Mark and 3 children Chloe, Michael and Monica, all 3 years apart. Everything is going fine when the eldest daughter Chloe at the age of 17 suddenly experiences severe mood swings and depression. After doctor appointments and observations Chloe is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. As the depression and mood swings increase, Chloe also starts hallucinating. She sees and hears things that are not there. Her relationship with her mother and siblings becomes strained due to her constant mood swings.

Kate also goes through a series of emotions like confusion, desperation, grief and guilt. Kate blames herself for not recognizing the signs early even though she knew there were a lot of cases of depression and substance abuse in the family.

When after constant monitoring Chloe’s illness becomes somewhat manageable, her son Michael is diagnosed with the same illness. He starts drinking and taking drugs to feel normal.

We can imagine what a mother goes through when one of her child falls sick, this twice is a mother’s nightmare. Kate has made a lot of sacrifices for her children. She explains the difficulties of living and caring for a chronically ill person. This one dialog had chills running down my spine. It’s when Chloe attempted suicide by cutting her nerves and after Kate patched her up.

Through it all, Chloe did not fight me, did not talk, and did not respond. When we were finished, she raised her face to mine and stated matter-of-factly, “Next time I’ll cut the other way, straight down the vein. It’ll be faster and you won’t be able to fix it.”
This is also Kate’s story. She learned not to blame herself when she finally admitted to herself and to others that she is not responsible for what happened or will not be responsible for what happens in the future. Kate says she has come to terms with the fact that eradicating her children’s illness is not the solution.

If we believe that disabilities must be altered or abolished, then we imply that the absence of disability equals a good life. But does it? Because if that’s true, one might deduce that anyone with a disability is inferior. That line of reasoning leads to a horrible, deeply disturbing, and dangerous arena.

Disability does not require solution or abolition, but understanding, and when necessary, temperature to allow the disabled to function more fully.

Bipolar disorder is a chronic mental illness. It does not go away. Chloe and Michael will always have it. It will forever alter their lives, and as a result, will alter ours too. Nevertheless, we embrace the experience and anticipate future legs of the journey because we know that this world, this life, offers everybody opportunities to learn and grow and evolve.
Okay, I’ll stop else I’ll end up quoting the entire book. All I can say is please, please, please read this book. It is sad, horrifying, depressing, uplifting, encouraging, gripping, informative, moving and hopeful. I hope Chloe, Michael and even Monica is doing fine. I hope the entire family is doing fine. I would like to take back my sentence ‘The author Kate had a perfect family…’ and correct it to ‘The author Kate has a perfect family…’. A family that supports one another, that understands each others problems and accepts it without judgment is nothing more than perfect.

Did you know that Napoleon, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, William Faulkner, Sylvia Plath, John Keats, Virginia Wolf, Vincent Van Gogh were possibly victims of Bipolar disorder?

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this with highlighter in hand. Very powerful.

[ROSS]

This book asks the question “who is responsible” and what can be done? When people are desperate society lets loose and people will do anything to survive. The children looked out for each other and showed they could be dependable and responsible. When people are desperate society lets loose and people will do anything to survive. The parents do not care about them as they are ignored which shows that the children inherit all the problems. The book suddenly ended and one is left to wonder what will happen.
I am giving this book 2 stars ⭐⭐ as I did not like the book that much as I do not know that much about the bible so a person definitely needs to do some research into the allegories of the book as there are a lot of references to the bible. It was a little confusing at the beginning getting all of the kids' names correct but it got better as it went along. I also do not think that children would be left to care for themselves in a major hurricane. I did like how the children worked together and helped each other out. They became a family on their own. It shows what the kids think and are capable of achieving. Overall it was a quick read and at times I did not enjoy it, it did keep me somewhat entertained

[Dawn Paoletta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate McLaughlin shares an amazingly candid view of one family's journey learning to cope with Mental Illness as it impacts them individually and as a family unit.

This book and the open way the author tells of the challenges, realities and transformation process experienced while dealing with the mental health issues of two teenage children makes it a must read for anyone who has children with special needs.

The example and fortitude she and her husband showed is inspiring and encouraging. As she writes about her own reflections and attitudes toward mental health, and the transformation that is revealed over the period of time spent helping her children learn to manage themselves - we get a glimpse into the ongoing, unseen obstacles that are faced by many dealing with special needs children of all kinds within the Health Care field.

This memoir style story was both mesmerizing, powerful and frightening. If you have dealt with any kind of mental health/special needs circumstances with a loved one, friend, or family member, I highly recommend this read. You will feel you have a friend and advocate in Kate McLaughlin. I applaud her and her family in their openness in sharing their journey.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has done families a great service by sharing the intimate, difficult details about the onset of bi polar within her family. While the details of my family's struggles are different (ages of kids, diagnoses), the concerns we share as parents remain the same -- how to raise and support a child in the best possible way without the situation tearing the family a part. This book has some great insight for any parent dealing with a child with a mental health issue. The diagnoses may be different, but to understand other parents are struggling daily with the same concerns provides hope that we can come together to better support ourselves, our families and most important, our children.

[Josh · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to admit, the author grated on me on this one. Her story is riveting, and heartbreaking, and I couldn't stop reading. But it seemed like the author was trying way too hard to wax eloquent, sage, and profound about her experience. But this book was about her experiences, and never claimed to be anything else. So I can't fault it, only say that I personally didn't like that aspect of it. A stark contrast to the blunt reality and tone of January First another powerful memoir written by a parent of a severely mentally ill child. Ironically, it was the reviews of January First, calling to harsh and glaring, and recommending this book instead that led me to read it. Different strokes, I guess.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very sad story about a devastating mental illness. Author takes reader through her roller coaster life. Her courage, perseverance and faith are admirable in the midst of what at the time seems hopeless. We learn about the disease not only through the mother's view but also from the children affected by it. It gives the reader information and hope in dealing with this chronic disease.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please see my review at myshelf.com

[A.L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart-wrenching read about a woman's experiences with her two bi-polar children.

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish there had been more details about Chloe's life and symptoms. But definitely an important and well-told story

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are painfully few good memoirs dealing with bipolar and while this book starts out well, I found the second half of the book sugar coated and trite.

[Chanelle Criqui-Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful, emotional example of perseverance!