What do you think?
Rate this book
Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What it Costs Us
When it comes to the end of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, or even a national tragedy, we are often told we need "closure." But while some people do find closure for their pain and grief, many more feel that closure does not exist and believe the notion only encourages false hopes. Sociologist Nancy Berns explores these ideas and their ramifications in her timely book, Closure . Berns uncovers the various interpretations and contradictory meanings of closure. She identifies six types of "closure talk," revealing closure as a socially constructed concept and a "new emotion." Berns explores how closure has been applied widely in popular media and how the idea has been appropriated as a political tool and to sell products and services. This book explains how the push for closure--whether we find it helpful, engaging, or enraging--is changing our society.
228 pages, Paperback
First published August 5, 2011
7 people are currently reading
79 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 14, 2012
This book wasn't quite as in-depth as I had been hoping. As a work of sociology, it's on the lightweight side; but I don't think it's got enough ooomph to keep the interest of most general readers.
It's a survey of the idea of "closure," how it arose and the ways in which the concept is used now (mainly, as a guideline for acceptable processes of grieving; as an instrument of political pressure; and as a sales pitch for various goods and services.) Not elegantly written, but a competent overview of the major aspects of the topic.
The bit I was personally most interested in was the chapter on spaces of public grief/memory -- but the best points there were sourced from Erika Doss' "Memorial Mania," which I've already read. Additionally, the book had what I thought were a surprising number of quotes and sources taken from online news outlets and other web sites; I do think the book would have had more substance if it delved more into the sociological literature and spent more time on key subjects, rather then digressing into "lifestyle" anecdotes about "divorce parties" and the like. (I thought there were too many brief, drive-by mentions of various wacky contexts in which "closure" is used, with few of them being developed or explored.)
There's a good discussion of the movement for 'victim's rights, such as demands that murder victims' families be allowed to testify in sentencing hearings, witness executions, etc. - in the name of giving them "closure." But "closure" seems to be far more often wished for than attained. The actual experience of victims and families that attend executions usuaully seems to show them disappointed in their hope for a satisfying sense of "closure."
Nevertheless, Berns points out, once policy and law has been made based upon the concept, "closure" attains an institutional status that it arguably never earned. (I think the book is strongest on the legal development of "victim's rights" measures based upon "closure" arguments. If you're deeply interested in that topic, the book would have more appeal for you.)
The take-home message, I think, is that what we call "closure" doesn't have one single meaning, but multiple meanings: the word is often used to denote completely disaparate things, depending upon the convenience and the agenda of whoever is using it. "Closure" is very often a concept used to personalize loss and grief as much as possible, thereby distracting from systemic issues. It's also used to sell you funeral products and services, fitting nicely into the century-old industry sales model of claiming that funeral consumerism has therapeutic value.
This is NOT a self-help book! Although there is a little bit of general "advice" or at least some statements of principle right at the very end: for instance, that nobody should feel pressured to grieve in a certain way because they have been told that is the way to attain closure; and that a brief and efficient process of attaining "closure" should not be urged upon mourners as an ideal. If it is only socially acceptable to show active grief for a short time, then the continuing grieving process is forced into silence and isolation.
It's a survey of the idea of "closure," how it arose and the ways in which the concept is used now (mainly, as a guideline for acceptable processes of grieving; as an instrument of political pressure; and as a sales pitch for various goods and services.) Not elegantly written, but a competent overview of the major aspects of the topic.
The bit I was personally most interested in was the chapter on spaces of public grief/memory -- but the best points there were sourced from Erika Doss' "Memorial Mania," which I've already read. Additionally, the book had what I thought were a surprising number of quotes and sources taken from online news outlets and other web sites; I do think the book would have had more substance if it delved more into the sociological literature and spent more time on key subjects, rather then digressing into "lifestyle" anecdotes about "divorce parties" and the like. (I thought there were too many brief, drive-by mentions of various wacky contexts in which "closure" is used, with few of them being developed or explored.)
There's a good discussion of the movement for 'victim's rights, such as demands that murder victims' families be allowed to testify in sentencing hearings, witness executions, etc. - in the name of giving them "closure." But "closure" seems to be far more often wished for than attained. The actual experience of victims and families that attend executions usuaully seems to show them disappointed in their hope for a satisfying sense of "closure."
Nevertheless, Berns points out, once policy and law has been made based upon the concept, "closure" attains an institutional status that it arguably never earned. (I think the book is strongest on the legal development of "victim's rights" measures based upon "closure" arguments. If you're deeply interested in that topic, the book would have more appeal for you.)
The take-home message, I think, is that what we call "closure" doesn't have one single meaning, but multiple meanings: the word is often used to denote completely disaparate things, depending upon the convenience and the agenda of whoever is using it. "Closure" is very often a concept used to personalize loss and grief as much as possible, thereby distracting from systemic issues. It's also used to sell you funeral products and services, fitting nicely into the century-old industry sales model of claiming that funeral consumerism has therapeutic value.
This is NOT a self-help book! Although there is a little bit of general "advice" or at least some statements of principle right at the very end: for instance, that nobody should feel pressured to grieve in a certain way because they have been told that is the way to attain closure; and that a brief and efficient process of attaining "closure" should not be urged upon mourners as an ideal. If it is only socially acceptable to show active grief for a short time, then the continuing grieving process is forced into silence and isolation.
March 12, 2019
Super interesting book. I picked it up thinking it would help me with closure to my own grief. Turns out, the author's main idea is that closure is an idea invented by folks who want to sell you stuff. Most folks don't want to close the door on their loved one, they are just looking to make peace with their loss. Oddly, though not a grief-help book, it helped me realize that the loss of my folks will always be something I wear, but that's ok and not understood by everyone.
I also appreciated her four tasks of mourning:
1.) accept the reality of the loss,
2.) experience the pain of grief.
3.) adjust to the new environment where the deceased person is missing.
4.) withdraw from the deceased and reinvest energy in life.
I can see these stages in my own life and that felt hopeful.
She also wrote about complicated grief; folks that are still experiencing symptoms 14 months or more. I realized that my great capacity for compassion probably has made me especially prone to grief.
Lastly, I loved this quote:
"The world loves closure, loves a thing that can, as they say, be gotten through. That is why it comes a a great surprise that loss is forever, the tow decades after there are still occasions when something in you cries out at the continuous presence of an absence." Anna Quindland
I also appreciated her four tasks of mourning:
1.) accept the reality of the loss,
2.) experience the pain of grief.
3.) adjust to the new environment where the deceased person is missing.
4.) withdraw from the deceased and reinvest energy in life.
I can see these stages in my own life and that felt hopeful.
She also wrote about complicated grief; folks that are still experiencing symptoms 14 months or more. I realized that my great capacity for compassion probably has made me especially prone to grief.
Lastly, I loved this quote:
"The world loves closure, loves a thing that can, as they say, be gotten through. That is why it comes a a great surprise that loss is forever, the tow decades after there are still occasions when something in you cries out at the continuous presence of an absence." Anna Quindland
March 5, 2019
This was an interesting, compassionate in depth look at the many variations and definitions of the meaning of the term "closure" as it describes the experience of grief. Berns does an excellent job of sorting through and explaining what the word means, how it has evolved in the last decade, culturally, economically and politically to become the be-all, end-all culmination of how best to live through and resolve one's grief. It is highly readable and her premise that "closure" is a social "feeling construct" that has little if anything to do with real life grief and bereavement is refreshing to read and comforting to understand.
It reads as if it were possibly a dissertation that became a textbook on the political and economic components of grief, both public and private, but it is highly accessible and her writing is clear. The many personal stories and examples she includes about how and why people feel as they do during the most painful times in their lives, add a thoughtful, empathetic touch to a subject that can be considered initially off-putting. I recommend this book to anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one who struggles with the confusing pressure to find a way to put "closure' to something that can never be finished.
It reads as if it were possibly a dissertation that became a textbook on the political and economic components of grief, both public and private, but it is highly accessible and her writing is clear. The many personal stories and examples she includes about how and why people feel as they do during the most painful times in their lives, add a thoughtful, empathetic touch to a subject that can be considered initially off-putting. I recommend this book to anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one who struggles with the confusing pressure to find a way to put "closure' to something that can never be finished.
December 26, 2022
Read for sociology of emotions; interesting perspective on how closure has been taken advantage of by capitalism
March 2, 2023
The concept and thesis of this book is valuable. Her point is that closure is not easy to define and not always desirable. The author writes clearly and carefully without jargon.
September 20, 2013
This book wasn't as eye popping as I was expecting it to be. I was expecting it to go more in depth into the psychological side of Closure. In addition to exploring other types of closure such as in romantic relationships and friendships.
It certainly isn't a terrible read. Casual readers who want some information about closure will certainly find it here.
Most of the material can be easily understood but the author has trouble holding interest.
If anyone is looking for a quick read into closure, I recommend this book. For a more extensive look into it, its best to avoid this book.
It certainly isn't a terrible read. Casual readers who want some information about closure will certainly find it here.
Most of the material can be easily understood but the author has trouble holding interest.
If anyone is looking for a quick read into closure, I recommend this book. For a more extensive look into it, its best to avoid this book.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews