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The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth
A distinguished psychiatrist, spiritual counsellor and bestselling author shows how the dark sides of the spiritual life are a vital ingredient in deep, authentic, healthy spirituality.
Gerald G. May, MD, one of the great spiritual teachers and writers of our time, argues that the dark 'shadow' side of the true spiritual life has been trivialised and neglected to our serious detriment. Superficial and naively upbeat spirituality does not heal and enrich the soul. Nor does the other tendency to relegate deep spiritual growth to only mystics and saints. Only the honest, sometimes difficult encounters with what Christian spirituality has called and described in helpful detail as 'the dark night of the soul' can lead to true spiritual wholeness.
May emphasises that the dark night is not necessarily a time of suffering and near despair, but a time of deep transition, a search for new orientation when things are clouded and full of mystery. The dark gives depth, dimension and fullness to the spiritual life.
Gerald G. May, MD, one of the great spiritual teachers and writers of our time, argues that the dark 'shadow' side of the true spiritual life has been trivialised and neglected to our serious detriment. Superficial and naively upbeat spirituality does not heal and enrich the soul. Nor does the other tendency to relegate deep spiritual growth to only mystics and saints. Only the honest, sometimes difficult encounters with what Christian spirituality has called and described in helpful detail as 'the dark night of the soul' can lead to true spiritual wholeness.
May emphasises that the dark night is not necessarily a time of suffering and near despair, but a time of deep transition, a search for new orientation when things are clouded and full of mystery. The dark gives depth, dimension and fullness to the spiritual life.
216 pages, Paperback
First published February 3, 2004
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March 6, 2018
This entire book made me think of St. Paul’s, “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has waiting for those who love Him.” How could a book about darkness contain so much light?
Perhaps it is partially exemplified by the book’s cover of black trees against a midnight blue sky. Strange though it seems, in total darkness, how is that we still ‘see’?
Dr. May combines his 25 years of psychiatric medical practice with a deep appreciation for the poetry and personalities of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, the great Spanish Reformation mystical writers on prayer and communal life.
The book is organized like a dream. It begins with brief biographies of John and Teresa, continues with a quick layman’s explanation of their theology, then tells how we are liberated from our attachments. Dr. May provides a simple, straightforward differentiation between meditation and contemplation, three signs to look for if you believe you are going through the Dark Night and describes three spirits to be aware of in yourself. He concludes with bringing the thoughts of John and Teresa into our age and offers spiritual companions some cautions.
I will be keeping this book on my Carmelite shelf and recommending it to my OCDS (officially Ordo Carmelitarum Discalceatorum Saecularis) Community when we study John’s Dark Night. Incredibly uplifting book. Highly recommended!
Recommended by my friend, Carmen, I am reading it now in preparation for our study of John of the Cross. Interestingly, today, February 27th, came across a reference to Brother Lawrence and his treatise, The Practice of the Presence of God where he says, "People would be surprised if they knew what their souls said to God sometimes." Showed the consistency among Brother Lawrence, Teresa and John. Chapter 3, the one I am reading now, is called, A Deeper Longing, The Liberation of Desire. It is about our attachments to all the things which do not satisfy, only substitute for God. Going back and forth between this and Practice which I listened to this afternoon.
Perhaps it is partially exemplified by the book’s cover of black trees against a midnight blue sky. Strange though it seems, in total darkness, how is that we still ‘see’?
Dr. May combines his 25 years of psychiatric medical practice with a deep appreciation for the poetry and personalities of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, the great Spanish Reformation mystical writers on prayer and communal life.
The book is organized like a dream. It begins with brief biographies of John and Teresa, continues with a quick layman’s explanation of their theology, then tells how we are liberated from our attachments. Dr. May provides a simple, straightforward differentiation between meditation and contemplation, three signs to look for if you believe you are going through the Dark Night and describes three spirits to be aware of in yourself. He concludes with bringing the thoughts of John and Teresa into our age and offers spiritual companions some cautions.
I will be keeping this book on my Carmelite shelf and recommending it to my OCDS (officially Ordo Carmelitarum Discalceatorum Saecularis) Community when we study John’s Dark Night. Incredibly uplifting book. Highly recommended!
Recommended by my friend, Carmen, I am reading it now in preparation for our study of John of the Cross. Interestingly, today, February 27th, came across a reference to Brother Lawrence and his treatise, The Practice of the Presence of God where he says, "People would be surprised if they knew what their souls said to God sometimes." Showed the consistency among Brother Lawrence, Teresa and John. Chapter 3, the one I am reading now, is called, A Deeper Longing, The Liberation of Desire. It is about our attachments to all the things which do not satisfy, only substitute for God. Going back and forth between this and Practice which I listened to this afternoon.
January 20, 2015
I'm a dark night of the soul junkie, if there is such a thing--I have more books on the dark night than King Arthur stories, if you can believe that! But this treasure by Gerald May, subtitled A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection between Darkness and Spiritual Growth, is far and away the best I've ever read. I've spent the morning rereading and copying out passages, and my heart is fluttering with excitement. I so admire how May has studied both the lives and writings of Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross; he's a scholar but also a spiritual seeker who's privy to the inner lives of his clients, so he's able to summarize Teresa's and John's teachings and apply them to contemporary life. The big gift I take from this book is his reframing of the dark night as THE spiritual path. It's not a period of despair after hardship; it's the slow, obscure, inner release that reveals what's always existed: our union with divinity. I'm tremendously grateful to Gerald May for the generosity, humanity, and clarity with which he conveys these important insights.
"Teresa and John both say that we easily become so attached to feelings of and about God that we equate them with God. We forget that these sensations are only speaking to us of the divine One. They are only messengers. Instead, we take them for the whole of God’s self, and thus we wind up worshiping our own feelings. This is perhaps the most common idolatry of the spiritual life."
--Gerald May, The Dark Night of the Soul 93
"Teresa and John both say that we easily become so attached to feelings of and about God that we equate them with God. We forget that these sensations are only speaking to us of the divine One. They are only messengers. Instead, we take them for the whole of God’s self, and thus we wind up worshiping our own feelings. This is perhaps the most common idolatry of the spiritual life."
--Gerald May, The Dark Night of the Soul 93
April 29, 2012
The writings of St. John and St. Theresa can be hard to digest for two reasons. Their writings are hundreds of years old and in Spanish. They were poets and saints, so their wording is not easily translated into English while maintaining it's original nuances and mystical meaning. What Dr. May does is break down the basic map of their spiritual journeys without getting hung up on debatable meanings. He explores St. Theresa's Interior Castle and compares it to St. John's Dark Night of the Soul. He chronicles the history of their lives and examines their relationship with one another.
Part history, part theology, and part psychology, Dr. May's Dark Night is a must read for any counselor whose patients may be bring up the concept of spirituality. As third worlds enter a new age which Sartre warns of the possibility of an existential crises, counselors must be aware of how dark night symptoms may present, and be prepared to discuss the prognosis with their patient or client.
Part history, part theology, and part psychology, Dr. May's Dark Night is a must read for any counselor whose patients may be bring up the concept of spirituality. As third worlds enter a new age which Sartre warns of the possibility of an existential crises, counselors must be aware of how dark night symptoms may present, and be prepared to discuss the prognosis with their patient or client.
September 26, 2011
Two books considered to be among the top Christian books of all time, include Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross and Interior Castles by St. Teresa of Avila, both Christian mystics from the 16th century. I have read the latter and have long had the former on my “to read” list. This book by Gerald May makes more accessible for contemporary readers the timeless truths discovered by these ancient lovers of God.
This book has been on my shelf for a couple of years. I was waiting to read it during one of my often dark and melancholic January-February seasons when the meaning of my life often seems so illusive. But I picked it up this September instead. I was both fascinated and delighted with how clearly it spoke to what I now see as my own dark night of the soul. Over the past 10 years of my life, I have become increasingly disillusioned with so much of what evangelical Christianity is offering to me – with all of its dogma, certainty, intellectual knowledge (a.k.a. known as “systematic” theology), productivity, and achievement. I know that some of this has served me well during the first half of my life when I needed a solid foundation in God and in Christian truth. Yet more recently, I have become aware of a slow dawning of a deeper longing and desire to know God in my heart and my soul. I have come to see how much of my life with God did not go deeper than my intellect. It is this desire that has ultimately led me to the contemplative tradition that is so well represented in this book by these two mystics.
May explains well how the dark night of the soul allows for a necessary “purgation” from various sensory attachments, rigid beliefs and ways of thinking, and a compulsive and controlling approach to life in general. There is invariably (but not necessarily) suffering involved in this purgation, as there was for me with my degenerative back condition with its multiple surgeries and my loss of identity that accompanied the loss of virtually all of my roles and titles both at work and in my ministries in my church. I found the resulting emptiness to be at times excruciatingly painful. This was the most evident beginning of my dark night of the soul (although I can trace elements of it through to my childhood). It is a process that is continuing to this day. May emphasizes: “Contrary to popular assumptions, the dark night is not a single event in one’s life that one undergoes and then somehow moves beyond (but) the ongoing spiritual process of our lives. We have periodic conscious experiences of it, but it continues at all times, hidden within us” (p. 186).
It is this obscure nature of the dark night that makes it so difficult at times for progress and achievement oriented people like me. I seem to have an insatiable need for reassurance that I am getting somewhere, as if the spiritual journey had a destination or an arrival point. But God’s design to make this process “dark” is a necessary component to severing us from this attachment to success and progress. Otherwise, it will not be possible to replace a willful, striving approach to life with a more willing and at times “blind faith” that His work of transformation is ongoing, deep within me, although I may not often recognize it.
May finishes his book with a chapter on “Daybreak”. Again, this is not so much of an “arrival” as the periodic glimpses we are given into the depths of our desire and perhaps a brief, momentary contemplative awareness of our union with the divine. May concludes by suggesting that “with repeated experiences of touching that desire, we do learn to recognize it, claim it, and know it as who we really are”.
This book has been on my shelf for a couple of years. I was waiting to read it during one of my often dark and melancholic January-February seasons when the meaning of my life often seems so illusive. But I picked it up this September instead. I was both fascinated and delighted with how clearly it spoke to what I now see as my own dark night of the soul. Over the past 10 years of my life, I have become increasingly disillusioned with so much of what evangelical Christianity is offering to me – with all of its dogma, certainty, intellectual knowledge (a.k.a. known as “systematic” theology), productivity, and achievement. I know that some of this has served me well during the first half of my life when I needed a solid foundation in God and in Christian truth. Yet more recently, I have become aware of a slow dawning of a deeper longing and desire to know God in my heart and my soul. I have come to see how much of my life with God did not go deeper than my intellect. It is this desire that has ultimately led me to the contemplative tradition that is so well represented in this book by these two mystics.
May explains well how the dark night of the soul allows for a necessary “purgation” from various sensory attachments, rigid beliefs and ways of thinking, and a compulsive and controlling approach to life in general. There is invariably (but not necessarily) suffering involved in this purgation, as there was for me with my degenerative back condition with its multiple surgeries and my loss of identity that accompanied the loss of virtually all of my roles and titles both at work and in my ministries in my church. I found the resulting emptiness to be at times excruciatingly painful. This was the most evident beginning of my dark night of the soul (although I can trace elements of it through to my childhood). It is a process that is continuing to this day. May emphasizes: “Contrary to popular assumptions, the dark night is not a single event in one’s life that one undergoes and then somehow moves beyond (but) the ongoing spiritual process of our lives. We have periodic conscious experiences of it, but it continues at all times, hidden within us” (p. 186).
It is this obscure nature of the dark night that makes it so difficult at times for progress and achievement oriented people like me. I seem to have an insatiable need for reassurance that I am getting somewhere, as if the spiritual journey had a destination or an arrival point. But God’s design to make this process “dark” is a necessary component to severing us from this attachment to success and progress. Otherwise, it will not be possible to replace a willful, striving approach to life with a more willing and at times “blind faith” that His work of transformation is ongoing, deep within me, although I may not often recognize it.
May finishes his book with a chapter on “Daybreak”. Again, this is not so much of an “arrival” as the periodic glimpses we are given into the depths of our desire and perhaps a brief, momentary contemplative awareness of our union with the divine. May concludes by suggesting that “with repeated experiences of touching that desire, we do learn to recognize it, claim it, and know it as who we really are”.
September 19, 2014
As a spiritual director, I found ‘The Dark Night of the Soul,’ by Psychiatrist Gerald G. May, M.D. incredibly helpful for the work of discernment between spiritual, philosophical, and scientific psychology. I wish I could give it more than five stars!
The author beautifully weaves St. John of The Cross’s ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ to St. Teresa of Avila’s ‘Interior Castle,’ and shows the reader how these two saints “demonstrate an understanding of human psychology that seems uncanny for their era. They knew the working of the human unconscious four centuries before Sigmund Freud. With amazing accuracy they described psychological phenomena that would later be called defense mechanism, behavioral conditioning, addictive and affective disorders, and psychosis.”
The book begins demonstrating how the love and friendship between Teresa and John led to their understanding the person, soul, and our divine nature. “More than a century before Isaac Newton explained gravity, John said that the soul is attracted to the deepest center of God like the stone is attracted to the deepest center of the earth—and that this attraction is mutual.”
The author then writes about attachment, addiction, and idolatry that are “always robbing us of our freedom. We act not because we have chosen to, but because we have to. We cling to things, people, beliefs, and behaviors not because we love them, but because we are terrified of losing them.”
Where the body needs light to find its way, the soul needs darkness to find her lover. The intimacy described in this theology can only be likened to the intimacy of marriage. It is in the darkness that the soul finds freedom from past attachments. In the darkness the soul is free to realize her deepest desires for love.
The book continues to describe the active attention and vigilance within passive contemplation. Darkness empties the intellect, hope frees the memory, and love liberates the will. But then we experience idolatry of the spiritual life. We start worshipping our own feelings and are not free for non-mediated or immediate love.
The soul then continues searching for union with God within the Interior Castle. Just as she feels she has reached the center of her being, she realizes that she has barely scratched the surface. As she sees the dawn of a new day, she finds herself longing for the darkness of the night. And so her desire for her Lover only grows.
The author beautifully weaves St. John of The Cross’s ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ to St. Teresa of Avila’s ‘Interior Castle,’ and shows the reader how these two saints “demonstrate an understanding of human psychology that seems uncanny for their era. They knew the working of the human unconscious four centuries before Sigmund Freud. With amazing accuracy they described psychological phenomena that would later be called defense mechanism, behavioral conditioning, addictive and affective disorders, and psychosis.”
The book begins demonstrating how the love and friendship between Teresa and John led to their understanding the person, soul, and our divine nature. “More than a century before Isaac Newton explained gravity, John said that the soul is attracted to the deepest center of God like the stone is attracted to the deepest center of the earth—and that this attraction is mutual.”
The author then writes about attachment, addiction, and idolatry that are “always robbing us of our freedom. We act not because we have chosen to, but because we have to. We cling to things, people, beliefs, and behaviors not because we love them, but because we are terrified of losing them.”
Where the body needs light to find its way, the soul needs darkness to find her lover. The intimacy described in this theology can only be likened to the intimacy of marriage. It is in the darkness that the soul finds freedom from past attachments. In the darkness the soul is free to realize her deepest desires for love.
The book continues to describe the active attention and vigilance within passive contemplation. Darkness empties the intellect, hope frees the memory, and love liberates the will. But then we experience idolatry of the spiritual life. We start worshipping our own feelings and are not free for non-mediated or immediate love.
The soul then continues searching for union with God within the Interior Castle. Just as she feels she has reached the center of her being, she realizes that she has barely scratched the surface. As she sees the dawn of a new day, she finds herself longing for the darkness of the night. And so her desire for her Lover only grows.
October 26, 2010
I picked this book up over 3 years ago and started it then. At the time it was interesting but I wasn't ready for it. A week ago I picked it up again. Some books we are really receptive to them only in certain stages or circumstances of our lives.
I found it challenging and it gave a counter reading of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila suggesting that we should not see their writings about the spiritual journey in linear sequential terms. What was most convicting was the closing section which was so personal as he was writing out of personal experience.
I found it challenging and it gave a counter reading of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila suggesting that we should not see their writings about the spiritual journey in linear sequential terms. What was most convicting was the closing section which was so personal as he was writing out of personal experience.
So in the end I am left only with hope. I hope the nights really are transformative. I hope every dawn brings deeper love, for each of us individually and for the world as a whole. I hope that John of the Cross was right when he said the intellect is transformed into faith and the will into love, and the the memory into...hope.
November 11, 2009
I read this thinking it was going to give me some insight about how depression can link us closer to our soul but found there was MUCH MORE to this book. My brief synopsis is that Gerald May (basing on John of the Cross and Teresa of Aliva 16th century writing) provides insights into how we can find God in our selves. This is incredibly thought provoking and I know I will buy this book and add it to my library and read it many more times.
August 24, 2017
I have enjoyed reading the works of Theresa of Avila and John of the Cross in the past few years, so when I saw this book I was excited to read it. May is a psychologist and analyzes the work of John and Theresa from a contemporary psychological perspective. He shows that these spiritual writers from long ago are not just engaging in esoteric mumbo-jumbo but are actually deeply in touch with the human condition.
I highly recommend this book. If you have wanted to read some of those medieval mystics but find them a bit challenging, this book could be a good introduction. On the other hand, if like me you have read them and found yourself struggling to grasp the depth of what they were saying, this book helps bring some clarity to their work.
I highly recommend this book. If you have wanted to read some of those medieval mystics but find them a bit challenging, this book could be a good introduction. On the other hand, if like me you have read them and found yourself struggling to grasp the depth of what they were saying, this book helps bring some clarity to their work.
April 3, 2019
This book contained so much thoughtful material. It doesn't give solutions to going through struggling times, it changes the paradox. There are no easy steps to follow -- rather a much more difficult imperative that we have to learn how to "be" with God. Truly learning how to sit at Jesus' feet as Mary did.
July 22, 2013
I highly recommend Dr. May's book to those who wish to understand what God may be doing in their lives that doesn't seem to make sense and may even be painful to endure.
I tried to read the original "Dark Night of the Soul" by the 16th-century Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic, Saint John of the Cross (1542-1591) at least three times. I always get bogged down in the Mediaeval Catholic theology which, for me, doesn't reflect the Jesus of the New Covenant.
Dr. May helped me understand, what I now call "Isolation", is usually about.
Isolation is not just because the heavens seem, as they did to John, sometimes to be dark, foreboding, and blocked by an impenetrable wall.
After 40 years of watching God isolate me and Jesus Followers whom I know well, I've decided so-called “Dark Nights of the Soul” are a standard "modus operandi" of our loving heavenly Father, “God, The One & Only”, in the lives of Jesus' true followers.
For me:
“‘Isolation’ are periods of varying lengths in the spiritual growth of Jesus Followers that some describe as dark and when “the heavens seem like brass”. To me, they are times of enforced setting-aside. The result is miraculous but confusing-for-the-moment guidance during which Holy Spirit keeps His Hebrews 13:5 (b) promise: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Plus His 1 Corinthians 10:13 promise that He'll never let anything touch us that doesn't first pass through His fingers so we can know that we can handle it in His power.” ~ © gfp '42
John may not have felt the latter promises were operative for him ...for whatever reason!
I recommend Dr. May’s book highly to Protestants. I’m only sad that he died just before I was led to his book by Holy Spirit in his timing, I sense. I would have loved to connect and chat with Dr. May about some of his insights. Maybe we'll do that in the hereafter.
After 40 years of watching God isolate me and Jesus Followers whom I know well, I've decided so-called “Dark Nights of the Soul” are a standard "modus operandi" of our loving heavenly Father, “God, The One & Only”, in the lives of Jesus' true followers.
For me:
“‘Isolation’ are periods of varying lengths in the spiritual growth of Jesus Followers that some describe as dark and when “the heavens seem like brass”. To me, they are times of enforced setting-aside. The result is miraculous but confusing-for-the-moment guidance during which Holy Spirit keeps His Hebrews 13:5 (b) promise: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Plus His 1 Corinthians 10:13 promise that He'll never let anything touch us that doesn't first pass through His fingers so we can know that we can handle it in His power.” ~ © gfp '42
John may not have felt the latter promises were operative for him ...for whatever reason!
I also strongly recommend this book for Catholics who don't want to be depressed by reading John of the Cross' book and wish to understand what he was actually saying. John's mentor and mystical teacher, Teresa of Avila (1515-1582), a nun, was much more in tune with God, in my opinion, and a blessing to read.
Enjoy and blessings...
GaryFPatton
(2013-06-21 gfp '42™)
I tried to read the original "Dark Night of the Soul" by the 16th-century Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic, Saint John of the Cross (1542-1591) at least three times. I always get bogged down in the Mediaeval Catholic theology which, for me, doesn't reflect the Jesus of the New Covenant.
Dr. May helped me understand, what I now call "Isolation", is usually about.
Isolation is not just because the heavens seem, as they did to John, sometimes to be dark, foreboding, and blocked by an impenetrable wall.
After 40 years of watching God isolate me and Jesus Followers whom I know well, I've decided so-called “Dark Nights of the Soul” are a standard "modus operandi" of our loving heavenly Father, “God, The One & Only”, in the lives of Jesus' true followers.
For me:
“‘Isolation’ are periods of varying lengths in the spiritual growth of Jesus Followers that some describe as dark and when “the heavens seem like brass”. To me, they are times of enforced setting-aside. The result is miraculous but confusing-for-the-moment guidance during which Holy Spirit keeps His Hebrews 13:5 (b) promise: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Plus His 1 Corinthians 10:13 promise that He'll never let anything touch us that doesn't first pass through His fingers so we can know that we can handle it in His power.” ~ © gfp '42
John may not have felt the latter promises were operative for him ...for whatever reason!
I recommend Dr. May’s book highly to Protestants. I’m only sad that he died just before I was led to his book by Holy Spirit in his timing, I sense. I would have loved to connect and chat with Dr. May about some of his insights. Maybe we'll do that in the hereafter.
After 40 years of watching God isolate me and Jesus Followers whom I know well, I've decided so-called “Dark Nights of the Soul” are a standard "modus operandi" of our loving heavenly Father, “God, The One & Only”, in the lives of Jesus' true followers.
For me:
“‘Isolation’ are periods of varying lengths in the spiritual growth of Jesus Followers that some describe as dark and when “the heavens seem like brass”. To me, they are times of enforced setting-aside. The result is miraculous but confusing-for-the-moment guidance during which Holy Spirit keeps His Hebrews 13:5 (b) promise: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Plus His 1 Corinthians 10:13 promise that He'll never let anything touch us that doesn't first pass through His fingers so we can know that we can handle it in His power.” ~ © gfp '42
John may not have felt the latter promises were operative for him ...for whatever reason!
I also strongly recommend this book for Catholics who don't want to be depressed by reading John of the Cross' book and wish to understand what he was actually saying. John's mentor and mystical teacher, Teresa of Avila (1515-1582), a nun, was much more in tune with God, in my opinion, and a blessing to read.
Enjoy and blessings...
GaryFPatton
(2013-06-21 gfp '42™)
April 13, 2011
Gerald May offers an easy-to-follow overview of the lives and major spiritual contributions of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Perfect primer for anyone interested in who these two were and how their insights are relevant for today. May also offers his own insights as a psychologist, psychiatrist, spiritual director, and fellow struggler on the path. One idea in particular that has helped me is May's insistence that the 'dark night of the soul' is not a one-time experience, but rather a way of experiencing God throughout one's journey. This really resonates with me. Instead of fighting the darkness and confusion of life and God, I need to embrace it and let it carry me, wound me, and lead me out of my small self into the life and personhood that I was created to inhabit. Wonderful, wonderful book.
July 5, 2016
This was not the book I was expecting, but I think it was actually better. I am not usually big on Carmelites or contemplative prayer. They confuse me. This book made sense. It helped apply concrete terms and organization to something I thought was much more ambiguous, difficult to grasp, and vaguely New Age-sounding but not actually New Age. I hope to be able to revisit this book in the future and take a deeper dive. Then maybe I can move on to Teresa and John's original writing, and in Spanish!
Read my full review at ATX Catholic.
Read my full review at ATX Catholic.
March 4, 2017
Reflecting on the writings of Sts. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, Dr. May offers a detailed look at the purpose and meaning of the dark night of the soul. It is a sensitive and positive look at this oft-misunderstood moment of spiritual growth, with insights from the fields of modern psychiatry and psychology. I appreciated that he approached the topic with a large dose of necessary humility, more as a guide than an instructor.
June 5, 2022
A difficult book for me to review, simply put I picked up the wrong book. The title suggested it was exactly the book I was looking for to continue my learning of this subject, in reality it was far too religious and despite reading to the end I enjoyed very little of it. I had hoped that this book would move away from the discussion of God to look more closely at physcology through of wider lens of spirituality but it didn't.
January 1, 2022
Surprisingly optimistic!
January 17, 2025
A diamond in the ruff of Christian content. I’ll be thinking about this book for years to come.
March 2, 2024
“Maybe we’ve been grasping for good things when what we’ve really desired is the Crestor of all good things” !!!!
This book was very enlightening and reminded me of my deeper longing for the Lord. Reallll good!!!!
This book was very enlightening and reminded me of my deeper longing for the Lord. Reallll good!!!!
October 22, 2018
It goes something like this:
We cling to our beliefs and our people because we are scared to loose them. Not out of love. To be attached (addicted) to a thing, an idea, even to God, is a kind of idolatry. Because you are not longing for union with God or others. You are longing for the comfort that your idea of God brings you. But you have to kill your darlings, and its not jn your natire to do it willingly. Gods silence is Gods way of helping you let go of your idols and concepts of virtue and vice that have been filtered through your selfish, scared eyes to serve your own ends. Love (charity) can only take over when everything else fails. You hope, but for nothing specific. You trust, but not in a particular result. In their true state, faith, hope, and love have no object. (Kind of like Uchdorf said to be grateful but not necc for things. Because what happens when the things are gone? Is gratitude then unwarranted? Is faith or hope any different? Like Bednar asking if you have the faith not to be healed.) The dark night of the soul is a gift that takes you to the void, a place where you would be too scared to go on your own. All you can do is pray. All you should do is submit. And then you will see the sacred in you as well as the empathy for you, in God. Your faith will be a continual fire, your love a flowing energy, your hope an open expectancy. St John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila - who inspired this book, broke on through to the other side. I hope to join them (shouldn’t hope for things) but for now I may relate more to St. Nietzsche, who tried to reckon with the enormity of the void as well but only made it half way before he lost his mind. Put your heart on the alter, its the only chance you got. Something like that.
(If this is all true, anything but a 5 star rating seems kind of blasphemous.)
We cling to our beliefs and our people because we are scared to loose them. Not out of love. To be attached (addicted) to a thing, an idea, even to God, is a kind of idolatry. Because you are not longing for union with God or others. You are longing for the comfort that your idea of God brings you. But you have to kill your darlings, and its not jn your natire to do it willingly. Gods silence is Gods way of helping you let go of your idols and concepts of virtue and vice that have been filtered through your selfish, scared eyes to serve your own ends. Love (charity) can only take over when everything else fails. You hope, but for nothing specific. You trust, but not in a particular result. In their true state, faith, hope, and love have no object. (Kind of like Uchdorf said to be grateful but not necc for things. Because what happens when the things are gone? Is gratitude then unwarranted? Is faith or hope any different? Like Bednar asking if you have the faith not to be healed.) The dark night of the soul is a gift that takes you to the void, a place where you would be too scared to go on your own. All you can do is pray. All you should do is submit. And then you will see the sacred in you as well as the empathy for you, in God. Your faith will be a continual fire, your love a flowing energy, your hope an open expectancy. St John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila - who inspired this book, broke on through to the other side. I hope to join them (shouldn’t hope for things) but for now I may relate more to St. Nietzsche, who tried to reckon with the enormity of the void as well but only made it half way before he lost his mind. Put your heart on the alter, its the only chance you got. Something like that.
(If this is all true, anything but a 5 star rating seems kind of blasphemous.)
June 17, 2017
I'm newly open to re-exploring lots of spiritual questions and this book, bare minimum, would be of service to anyone looking to do the same general thing. It didn't send me to the heights of religious ecstasy or anything, but May does a good job simplifying the work of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross plus explaining its lasting vitality for we of the 20th-21st centuries. I've always been intrigued by Catholic/Christian mysticism and this whet my appetite to study the subject even more. Whether or not you're a person of faith or spirituality, this book still has a lot of interesting stuff to convey from a purely psychological standpoint. Whether these dark nights of the soul are merely the work of our unconscious, some divine force or both working in tandem is, in my opinion at least, an impossible question to definitively answer. But for myself and most people I've discussed this sort of thing with, it's an indisputable fact times of confusion, suffering and/or disillusionment somehow yield a deeper, more joyful understanding of the universe and our place in it. The dawn is brighter after these "dark night" experiences. At least for me, that's how it's been when I've had faith in the God of these saints, when I haven't and when I've been somewhere in between too.
August 24, 2017
I have grown to appreciate the work of many of the great mystics and spiritual writers of the Church, with John of the Cross and Theresa of Avila being two of my favorites. This book is an analysis and commentary on their works from the perspective of a psychologist. The best thing about this book is to see how these spiritual writings from centuries ago resonate with contemporary psychology. In other words, Theresa and John did not just explore the depths of the human condition, but hit on much that is still proven helpful today.
If you never read John or Theresa and want to, this book could be a good introduction. If, like me, you have read them and often felt out of your depth, this book is helpful. There is so much here that I was challenged and moved by and I think the Church as a whole and individual Christians can only benefit by reclaiming the writings of thoughtful people like John and Theresa.
If you never read John or Theresa and want to, this book could be a good introduction. If, like me, you have read them and often felt out of your depth, this book is helpful. There is so much here that I was challenged and moved by and I think the Church as a whole and individual Christians can only benefit by reclaiming the writings of thoughtful people like John and Theresa.
March 6, 2012
Reading "The Dark Night of the Soul" has been a profound, thought-provoking experience. Author May shows us the opportunity to seek spiritual growth not only during times of deep suffering, but also during times of vague or obscure discomfort--important but quiet moments that are easily overlooked in our hectic, cluttered lives. He does this using his own enlightening interpretations of the work of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross that make these saints more accessible and relevant to our modern world. I would recommend this book to any seeker looking for a fresh take on the changing faces of prayer and spirituality in his or her life.
April 24, 2013
I'm going to keep this little book handy for when I'm feeling steamrolled by powerful people. For such a long time, I believed that I was wrong to see a different reality. Dr. May seems to think that I'm a lot more credible than the mainstream accepts. (So, call me an artist, and everybody's happy.)
January 18, 2010
Very clear--deceptively simple--but far from simplistic this really suggests that the dark night is 1) a gift and 2) the fundamental stage of the spiritual way,
August 4, 2020
First; This book was not what I was expecting it to be. Having been written by a psychiatrist, & the cover saying “A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth,” I really thought this book would be mostly the thoughts, learnings, reflections, & studies of Gerald May himself. What I found was that most of the book was written and based around the ideas & writings of Teresa of Avila & St. John of the Cross. (Which is not bad, just not expected).
That being said, I think there are some really valuable insights found in their writings. They write a lot concerning Christian mysticism type stuff, which is not a subject I’ve read or learned much about thus far. In light of the subject matter, some of it was hard for me because it seemed very abstract, or more subjective based off of their personal experiences.
•••
There were things about this book that I really liked (trying to explain some of the hidden deeper things of the human psyche within the spiritual realm), and things that I didn’t (very repetitive in parts, super subjective, not a lot of May’s own findings, etc.) I highly enjoyed the first 3.5 chapters, but I started feeling a bit lost in the middle of chapter 4, and pretty much stayed there for the rest of the book.
In conclusion, I found a lot of stuff helpful in this book in terms of how we relate to God, how to spend time with him, things the human brain is walking through in hard seasons, etc. But after finishing it, I’m still not totally sure I could explain to you what a dark night of the soul is, and that was the point of the entire book. So, do with this review what you will. Don’t knock it till ya read it I guess.
That being said, I think there are some really valuable insights found in their writings. They write a lot concerning Christian mysticism type stuff, which is not a subject I’ve read or learned much about thus far. In light of the subject matter, some of it was hard for me because it seemed very abstract, or more subjective based off of their personal experiences.
•••
There were things about this book that I really liked (trying to explain some of the hidden deeper things of the human psyche within the spiritual realm), and things that I didn’t (very repetitive in parts, super subjective, not a lot of May’s own findings, etc.) I highly enjoyed the first 3.5 chapters, but I started feeling a bit lost in the middle of chapter 4, and pretty much stayed there for the rest of the book.
In conclusion, I found a lot of stuff helpful in this book in terms of how we relate to God, how to spend time with him, things the human brain is walking through in hard seasons, etc. But after finishing it, I’m still not totally sure I could explain to you what a dark night of the soul is, and that was the point of the entire book. So, do with this review what you will. Don’t knock it till ya read it I guess.
December 31, 2022
Gerald May really is that guy. He beautifully blends theology, psychology, and God’s love into a book that doesn’t give you “three simple steps to improve your spiritual life.” Instead, he writes a book that characterizes the following of Jesus as a lifelong process that sometimes seems to not be making any progress. Often times, we’re confused and wandering, but God is working behind the scenes. Through events such as the dark night of the soul, we become more aware of God’s presence and our need for him. The book is really about us realizing that we can’t do anything on our own. All we can do is desire to be with God and let him do the rest.
Ngl there’s A LOT of information in this book and it can get overwhelming sometimes, but May does a good job of tying it to his main point. The first part is also a little boring because it is essentially a biography of two sixteenth century spanish catholics, but it’s still an important part to set up the rest of the book. This book is just so good because it really forced me to change my perspective regarding my faith journey and is an encouragement because while life is filled with struggles, God loves beyond comprehension. Even in the midst of things like spiritual dryness (my favorite concept in theology) God is simply preparing us like a gardner does a vine. One of the best parts of this book is how it blends science and faith, unlike some (on both ends of the religious spectrum) May knows that science complements faith and that they aren’t mutually exclusive.
Ngl there’s A LOT of information in this book and it can get overwhelming sometimes, but May does a good job of tying it to his main point. The first part is also a little boring because it is essentially a biography of two sixteenth century spanish catholics, but it’s still an important part to set up the rest of the book. This book is just so good because it really forced me to change my perspective regarding my faith journey and is an encouragement because while life is filled with struggles, God loves beyond comprehension. Even in the midst of things like spiritual dryness (my favorite concept in theology) God is simply preparing us like a gardner does a vine. One of the best parts of this book is how it blends science and faith, unlike some (on both ends of the religious spectrum) May knows that science complements faith and that they aren’t mutually exclusive.
November 13, 2023
**reviewing this book feels daunting and there’s really too many things to discuss from this book that are so spiritually complex 😵💫**
In this book May describes “the dark night of the soul” as dark, not evil dark, but rather defining this spiritual experience as “obscure.” In my own spiritual journey this word feels very appropriate. I can find myself often unsure of exactly what God is doing in my own life or the world around me. Although there are small glimpses of clarity gifted by God, this book described a trust that we can step into for the more obscure or difficult moments in life.
There’s a lot about this book that I will be contemplating for the rest of my life… How God works is so full of mystery and especially how he can shape us through testing. This book has encouraged me to embrace and accept the mystery rather than view it as an enemy. This is easier said than done and at times it is incredibly hard to trust God and the way he works in the world. I have so many questions for God!!
Some quotes from the book:
“The dark night of the soul is an ongoing transition from compulsively trying to
control one's life toward a trusting freedom and openness to God and the real situations of life.”
“To guide us toward the love that we most
desire, we must be taken where we could not and would not go on our own.”
“Life is not a matter of reaching a stagnant end point, but is rather an ongoing process in which one, hopefully and with grace, grows ever more deeply in love.”
In this book May describes “the dark night of the soul” as dark, not evil dark, but rather defining this spiritual experience as “obscure.” In my own spiritual journey this word feels very appropriate. I can find myself often unsure of exactly what God is doing in my own life or the world around me. Although there are small glimpses of clarity gifted by God, this book described a trust that we can step into for the more obscure or difficult moments in life.
There’s a lot about this book that I will be contemplating for the rest of my life… How God works is so full of mystery and especially how he can shape us through testing. This book has encouraged me to embrace and accept the mystery rather than view it as an enemy. This is easier said than done and at times it is incredibly hard to trust God and the way he works in the world. I have so many questions for God!!
Some quotes from the book:
“The dark night of the soul is an ongoing transition from compulsively trying to
control one's life toward a trusting freedom and openness to God and the real situations of life.”
“To guide us toward the love that we most
desire, we must be taken where we could not and would not go on our own.”
“Life is not a matter of reaching a stagnant end point, but is rather an ongoing process in which one, hopefully and with grace, grows ever more deeply in love.”
March 16, 2021
This wasn’t what I was expecting...I thought it would be insights on the dark night of the soul from a psychiatrist’s experiences but it was actually a primer on the writings of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Half the book was not that interesting to me but other parts really hit home, especially the chapters A Deeper Longing, The Dark Night Today, and Daybreak. I think I’ll keep this on my shelf to read again one day.
The main theme is that the dark night is a gift even though it may not feel pleasant. It’s how we let go of attachments and it’s the only way to gain glimpses of love and hope that are beyond our understanding.
“Contemplated hope, transformed hope, is completely open and free. It is not hope for peace or justice or healing; that would be an attachment. It is just hope, naked hope, a bare energy of open expectancy. I think I have experienced this kind of hope from time to time in people who have suffered more than anyone deserves. And when I saw it I was blinded...I can neither fathom nor comprehend it. Like contemplative faith and love, it evades my understanding.”
“I am no longer very good at telling the difference between good things and bad things...some things start out looking great but wind up terribly, while other things seem bad in the beginning but turn out to be blessings in disguise.”
The main theme is that the dark night is a gift even though it may not feel pleasant. It’s how we let go of attachments and it’s the only way to gain glimpses of love and hope that are beyond our understanding.
“Contemplated hope, transformed hope, is completely open and free. It is not hope for peace or justice or healing; that would be an attachment. It is just hope, naked hope, a bare energy of open expectancy. I think I have experienced this kind of hope from time to time in people who have suffered more than anyone deserves. And when I saw it I was blinded...I can neither fathom nor comprehend it. Like contemplative faith and love, it evades my understanding.”
“I am no longer very good at telling the difference between good things and bad things...some things start out looking great but wind up terribly, while other things seem bad in the beginning but turn out to be blessings in disguise.”
July 20, 2023
Read through this slowly. It is an excellent introduction and interpretative analysis of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila's work. As an existentialist, this area of Christian imagination is vital to thought and process. How can we understand and live within the darker parts of human life? How is existence that carried pain and anguish also an outpouring of something more? Is it?
John and Teresa both don't provide answers rather they provide a life path for engaging with these times and making some of the most beautiful observations.
May adds to these observations with the eyes of a psychiatrist. His interpretive nature works and combines with his faith to create a strong interpretation and engagement with these two Christian mystics.
John and Teresa both don't provide answers rather they provide a life path for engaging with these times and making some of the most beautiful observations.
May adds to these observations with the eyes of a psychiatrist. His interpretive nature works and combines with his faith to create a strong interpretation and engagement with these two Christian mystics.
November 12, 2019
Some years ago when reading about Mother Teresa I learned of a long period of her life, after she felt her calling to serve the orphans of Calcutta, when she felt a spiritual distance from God. I was intrigued and began looking for similar experiences in other historical figures. Ultimately this led me to the writings of Saint John of the Cross and his poem Dark Night:
Once in the dark of night,
Inflamed with love and yearning, I arose
(O coming of delight!)
And went, as no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose
All in the dark went right,
Down secret steps, disguised in other clothes,
(O coming of delight!)
In dark when no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose.
And in the luck of night
In secret places where no other spied
I went without my sight
Without a light to guide
Except the heart that lit me from inside.
It guided me and shone
Surer than noonday sunlight over me,
And led me to the one
Whom only I could see
Deep in a place where only we could be.
O guiding dark of night!
O dark of night more darling than the dawn!
O night that can unite
A lover and loved one,
Lover and loved one moved in unison.
And on my flowering breast
Which I had kept for him and him alone
He slept as I caressed
And loved him for my own,
Breathing an air from redolent cedars blown.
And from the castle wall
The wind came down to winnow through his hair
Bidding his fingers fall,
Searing my throat with air
And all my senses were suspended there.
I stayed there to forget.
There on my lover, face to face, I lay.
All ended, and I let
My cares all fall away
Forgotten in the lilies on that day.
I began to look for other historical figures who seemingly passed through this Dark Night of the Soul and found it over and over. In my own religious tradition we find this scripture: "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (DC 121:1) As an anguished plea of a prophet.
In a day when so many are abandoning religious faith so readily I find the reasons for abandonment to be mostly shallow. Many claim a lack of answers in their faith tradition, others struggle with historical problems, or lack of relevance of faith to today's problems. As I read the writings of these great religious figures and mystics I see they all expressed doubt and anguish. Yet they persevered. They maintained fidelity amidst uncertainty and our civilization is better because of it.
Spirituality is much less about answers and much more about transformation and humility. As I learned more about this principal a began to see it over and over. The great thinkers and spiritual leaders of the ancient and modern world understood and experienced the dark night of the not because they invented it but because it is an eternal truth. If we think spirituality is a smiley face button and refreshments after a church activity there will come a time when we will be severely disappointed in the failings of human beings, even leaders.
God wants us on the path no matter how hard it is and those that persevere through the dark night of the soul will be rewarded with understanding, love and humility. True spirituality is not about sinin' on Saturday night and comin' to Jesus on Sunday morning. It is about persevering through the anguish of the dark night of the soul.
I've seen dear friends thrust into the dark night of the soul through a spiritual crisis, the loss of a loved one or some kind of crisis. Those that face the challenge with humility recognizing the crisis is not a test thrust upon them by God but part of the human experience that we learn from to help others similarly challenged come through with a depth of spirit that is noticeable.
This is a bit of a long introduction to the review of this book. I highly recommend Dr. May's book to those who wish to understand what God may be doing in their lives that doesn't seem to make sense and may even be painful to endure. As a psychiatrist he explores both the clinical and spiritual and the connection to spiritual growth.
Favorite Quotes:
“Maybe, sometimes, in the midst of things going terribly wrong, something is going just right.”
“This deepening of love is the real purpose of the dark night of the soul. The dark night helps us become who we are created to be: lovers of God and one another.”
“We may yearn to “let go and let God,” but it usually doesn’t happen until we have exhausted our own efforts.”
“The dawn is an awakening to a deepening realization of who we really are in and with God and the world, and of what has been going on within us in the night.”
“Regardless of when and how it happens, the dark night of the soul is the transition from bondage to freedom in prayer and in every other aspect of life.”
“The dark night is a profoundly good thing. It is an ongoing spiritual process in which we are liberated from attachments and compulsions and empowered to live and love more freely.”
Once in the dark of night,
Inflamed with love and yearning, I arose
(O coming of delight!)
And went, as no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose
All in the dark went right,
Down secret steps, disguised in other clothes,
(O coming of delight!)
In dark when no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose.
And in the luck of night
In secret places where no other spied
I went without my sight
Without a light to guide
Except the heart that lit me from inside.
It guided me and shone
Surer than noonday sunlight over me,
And led me to the one
Whom only I could see
Deep in a place where only we could be.
O guiding dark of night!
O dark of night more darling than the dawn!
O night that can unite
A lover and loved one,
Lover and loved one moved in unison.
And on my flowering breast
Which I had kept for him and him alone
He slept as I caressed
And loved him for my own,
Breathing an air from redolent cedars blown.
And from the castle wall
The wind came down to winnow through his hair
Bidding his fingers fall,
Searing my throat with air
And all my senses were suspended there.
I stayed there to forget.
There on my lover, face to face, I lay.
All ended, and I let
My cares all fall away
Forgotten in the lilies on that day.
I began to look for other historical figures who seemingly passed through this Dark Night of the Soul and found it over and over. In my own religious tradition we find this scripture: "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (DC 121:1) As an anguished plea of a prophet.
In a day when so many are abandoning religious faith so readily I find the reasons for abandonment to be mostly shallow. Many claim a lack of answers in their faith tradition, others struggle with historical problems, or lack of relevance of faith to today's problems. As I read the writings of these great religious figures and mystics I see they all expressed doubt and anguish. Yet they persevered. They maintained fidelity amidst uncertainty and our civilization is better because of it.
Spirituality is much less about answers and much more about transformation and humility. As I learned more about this principal a began to see it over and over. The great thinkers and spiritual leaders of the ancient and modern world understood and experienced the dark night of the not because they invented it but because it is an eternal truth. If we think spirituality is a smiley face button and refreshments after a church activity there will come a time when we will be severely disappointed in the failings of human beings, even leaders.
God wants us on the path no matter how hard it is and those that persevere through the dark night of the soul will be rewarded with understanding, love and humility. True spirituality is not about sinin' on Saturday night and comin' to Jesus on Sunday morning. It is about persevering through the anguish of the dark night of the soul.
I've seen dear friends thrust into the dark night of the soul through a spiritual crisis, the loss of a loved one or some kind of crisis. Those that face the challenge with humility recognizing the crisis is not a test thrust upon them by God but part of the human experience that we learn from to help others similarly challenged come through with a depth of spirit that is noticeable.
This is a bit of a long introduction to the review of this book. I highly recommend Dr. May's book to those who wish to understand what God may be doing in their lives that doesn't seem to make sense and may even be painful to endure. As a psychiatrist he explores both the clinical and spiritual and the connection to spiritual growth.
Favorite Quotes:
“Maybe, sometimes, in the midst of things going terribly wrong, something is going just right.”
“This deepening of love is the real purpose of the dark night of the soul. The dark night helps us become who we are created to be: lovers of God and one another.”
“We may yearn to “let go and let God,” but it usually doesn’t happen until we have exhausted our own efforts.”
“The dawn is an awakening to a deepening realization of who we really are in and with God and the world, and of what has been going on within us in the night.”
“Regardless of when and how it happens, the dark night of the soul is the transition from bondage to freedom in prayer and in every other aspect of life.”
“The dark night is a profoundly good thing. It is an ongoing spiritual process in which we are liberated from attachments and compulsions and empowered to live and love more freely.”
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