Healing the Unaffirmed: Recognizing Emotional Deprivation Disorder

by Conrad W. Baars, Anna Alberdina Antoinette Terruwe

Recognizing emotional deprivation disorder is the first step in correcting, through affirmation, many grave individual and global ills

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction

221 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1976

About the author

Conrad W. Baars, M.D., (January 2, 1919 – October 18, 1981) was a Catholic psychiatrist. His most prominent work is with Dr. Anna Terruwe in the study of the human emotional life. Their general idea is that many emotional disturbances in a human stem from a lack of experiencing unconditional love during his or her life. He and Terruwe are known for their model of Emotional Deprivation Disorder and a different approach to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Dr. Baars and Dr. Terruwe treated many priests and religious in their practices and presented important information to the bishops of the Catholic Church. The Role of the Church in the Causation, Treatment and Prevention of the Crisis in the Priesthood, was copyrighted and published by Franciscan Herald Press (Chicago, Illinois) in 1972 as part of their "Synthesis Series" as 'How to treat and prevent The Crisis in the Priesthood'. Dr. Baars wrote numerous other articles and monographs.

Reviews

[Magdelanye · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a challenging book to read not only for the personal resonance but also because of several unacceptable,antiquated ides that rather weaken the authors authority. Such is importance of the body of their work that I can overlook their tragic flaws and even see them as slightly evolved from the general opinion that homosexuality was a sin.

What the authors discovered over their years of practice is the underlying basis of most mental illness,before it has been classsified; the shaky foundation of peronality disfuncion and social phobia. So obvious, Emotional Deprivation Disorder is hardly considered in the literature,given that it is prevelant and pervasive, and hereditary. Someone who has never been affirmed will generally have trouble trusting andaffirming others,and indeed will be challenged by uncertainnty in relationships and identity issues.

Perhaps this book has suffered from the extremity of devotion the authors advise is the only way to healing such an insidious syndrome. Their methods are certanly incongrous with modern psychological approaches. Their very earnestnes can be somewhat offputting.

But I am so grateful to have discovered this book and have no hesitation in asserting it should be required reading.

[Patrick Deneen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Attachment theory, but more Thomistic and less empirical.

(I love Baars as the most Thomistic well-known psychologist I'm aware of.)

Baars and Terruwe's theory of affirmation is insightful, relevant, and apostolically powerful for our time. Many people would be doing a whole lot better if they had someone to convey to them their inherent goodness as the authors describe.
Their account of the development of the affective faculties seems highly plausible to me. It would make sense that those lacking emotional rapport, etc., with their parents would have limited integration in their capacity for knowing and loving as adults, and that affection from others could be hugely significant for the consummation of God's image and likeness in them.
Huge overlap with our work at Christ in the City.
Only 4/5 because this book gets technical beyond what's helpful for most of us, and the authors primarily discuss extreme cases of "emotional development disorder", rather than the milder "unaffirmed state" that I encounter much more frequently.
If I remember correctly, Baars' Born Only Once is more relevant for non-specialists.

[Victoria L · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book after a found that I had some of the Deprivation Neurosis symptoms and I wanted to know more about it. I started this book with very big appetite to learn how to heal and understand some of my behavior. Reading this book gave me a good insight on many of my relationships/friendships and explained the way I react to various events. As I finish the book I have better understanding of my behavior and my emotions. Even thought I might not be as extreme some of the examples from the book I definitely need affirmation and motherly love. I was able to finish this book very quick as I was looking for answer but one minor disappointment I had on how much religion was involved in such scientific book. I was disturb on many examples being religious based and even some of the solutions being solved my religion even though there were many examples of how religious people were mentally suppressed during their daily tasks. Overall I am glad I read this book it gave me a better view of my emotional state.

[Siobhain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very informative and helpful. Though I don't know anyone who has a full-blown emotional deprivation disorder, if this diagnosis is looked at on a spectrum, I see myself and most of the people I know lying somewhere between perfectly affirmed and deprived. Oh that each of us could have had a perfectly affirming Mr. Fred Rogers in our life or been one for others. This is a great read if you are trying to better understand affirmation as a state of being as opposed to an inept, patting someone on the back, verb form of the word. Some of the treatments in some of the cases seem a bit quirky, but I am so thankful to Dr. Baars and Dr. Terruwe for their pioneering work in this area. I am currently reading Dr. Baars biography, Doctor of the Heart and will follow that by his other books that I have not yet read. Then I hope to revisit this book and this review with a better understanding of the concepts.

[Sami · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has definitely and entirely changed the way that I view my relationships with people in general. It has led me to a lot of thinking for myself: how can I improve my interactions with people if they have this disorder? What can I do as a human-- and also as a Christian-- to love them, to meet their needs, to make them KNOW that their life actually does have meaning?

This book has wonderful insights and gave me a really good glance into this disorder, but there's still a lot I have questions about, which I thought could have been explained further. Obviously, this is a multi-faceted issue and could definitely have been delved into with even greater detail, but what I read here was still very thought-provoking and inspiring.

[Shirlene Lim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vr informative

Quite informative and accurately descriptive of the unaffirmed. However as many reviewers stated the opinions were a tad old fashioned. Had to tune out on the religious parts.

[Kathe Bridges · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profoundly affected me. Healing experience.
Helped me understand the congruence between the science of Psychiatry and the logic of the Catholic Church’s teachings on annulment.
Ultimately Truth cannot contradict Truth.

[Regina Puratich · Rating 5 out of 5]

An author ahead of his time

Concentrate not on the writing style or outdated views but on the simple human necessity in his words. I will read him again.

[Cameron Biddle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Outdated in its ideas and analysis

[Ffiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

During childhood as we grow, develop,and mature we feed off of our parents to help us develop a healthy sense of self. If that develops properly and in a positive way we also develop resources, kind of like a reservoir. As we receive empathy, respect, and appreciation from our power source (our mother) our sense of self is developed- the love, empathy, and admiration that we continue to receive fills our resources, our reservoir. So when we go into life situations and feel self doubt we look to those resources, we 'borrow' from that reservoir to build us up so we can handle the situation where we feel insecure. People who did not develop a proper sense of self unfortunately failed to get sufficient affirmation to establish a secure sense of self - they failed to receive the extra to fill the resources, so it is impossible for them to borrow from the reservoir.Love and empathy from parents is vital for development of self worth.A person who is denied nurturing is emotionally deprived that person tends to be constantly frustrated and cannot grow into a mature adult state until that unconditional love is provided.Baars and Terruwe theorize that treatment for Emotional Deprivation Disorder lies in providing a replacement for the unconditional love one never had in life. They call this process Affirmation Therapy.

I really like this authors work - this book will help you recognize emotional deprivation both in yourself and others but this Affirmation Therapy is very similar to Reparenting which is fantastic in theory but unfortunately its a flawed concept because adults no longer have a child's hardwiring, and can't return back in time also needing constant affirmation means your subconscious will believe that you do not have what it takes unless someone (therapist) convinces you all the time. Its unrealistic to try to put others in the role of affirming (reparenting) you,no one can truly heal your childhood wounding with the force of their unconditional love - once you are an adult,no one can do this for you.

[Idyllwilde]

Yes, I am still reading this...sigh. Good luck with yours, Jode...it is quite painful and you'd better find a psychopath (did I say psychopath? I mean psychiatrist or minister you can trust) if you are going to venture on this journey...