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How to Win Any Argument, Revised Edition: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows
The art of the argument. It's mysterious and powerful. It's the art of having things go your way. But it's also the art of getting out of your own way. It's having the Moves. But it's also about having the Touch. Welcome to the "new normal." It's a time and place where conversations are tougher, disagreements more frequent, consensus more difficult to find than ever before. This new world demands three new "right for our times" chapters:
"Heavy Metal Moves" and "Taboo Tactics": When you're being dissed, dismissed, and dumped on. Or when you need to break through.
"Waging Peace: The Mediation, Arbitration, and Collaborative Practice Game": Because there's more conflict but less money to hire litigation lawyers.
"The World Has Gotten Smaller": Learn to identify deep-rooted cultural differences, and how to act and react.
"Heavy Metal Moves" and "Taboo Tactics": When you're being dissed, dismissed, and dumped on. Or when you need to break through.
"Waging Peace: The Mediation, Arbitration, and Collaborative Practice Game": Because there's more conflict but less money to hire litigation lawyers.
"The World Has Gotten Smaller": Learn to identify deep-rooted cultural differences, and how to act and react.
256 pages, Paperback
First published March 31, 2005
72 people are currently reading
476 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 26, 2021
Where do I even begin? I haven’t read a book that is so unstructured and difficult to read. Within every chapter, the discussion on a topic grows shorter. Each chapter becomes shorter and irrelevant as you go on reading the book. It’s as if the author lost interest towards the end of the book and wrote anything. Considering the title, you would assume that the author would do a good job at keeping you engaged.
November 16, 2019
This is probably one of the books that has helped me understand on how effectively to communicate, which in turn would help you win arguments, that too without quarrelling, raising your voice or loosing your cool.
July 8, 2016
This was a terrible book. The writing style was difficult to follow. There were several times I had to re-read a paragraph or sentence, not because it was making a really insightful point, but rather because I couldn't actually figure out what he was trying to say.
February 10, 2018
Вопреки названию или в силу возраста, лет 6-7 назад автору не удалось заставить меня дочитать книгу до конца. Однако она мне запомнилась занятными математическими задачками, которые некоторых взрослых ставили в тупик. Сейчас я с легкостью раскусила все эти «упражнения», своего рода, изюминку книги. Больше сушенных ягод, запрятанных в книге, обнаружено не было. Впрочем, в эпоху появления и расцвета «поп»-психологии, которую мы переживаем, подобных книг настолько много, что творение известного юриста Роберта Мейера, не отличается особой оригинальностью.
Может быть, в 2008 году обещание на обложке уладить проблемы с водопроводчиками или «трудным» ребенком и вообще решить любой спор с помощью рекомендаций автора, производило впечатление на неискушенную публику. Структурированный текст и замысловатые названия глав делают честь автору. Эта книга совсем не бестолковая, скорее просто перенасыщена историями и притчами (которые, однако, занятны и расширят кругозор читателя; моя любимая – о правилах охоты на обезьян). Также будьте готовы к частым упоминаниям тех или иных, именитых и не очень, клиентов Мейера и огромному числу отсылок к американским телешоу, политикам, большим городам и историям успеха корпораций, родом из США.
При условии заинтересованности читателя, овладеть ключом к ответу на вопросы «Что?», «Как?» и «Когда?» (сказать, разумеется) вполне возможно. Читайте и побеждайте в спорах, ибо, как утверждает одна китайская поговорка, если не будешь сражаться, то ничего о противнике и не узнаешь.
Может быть, в 2008 году обещание на обложке уладить проблемы с водопроводчиками или «трудным» ребенком и вообще решить любой спор с помощью рекомендаций автора, производило впечатление на неискушенную публику. Структурированный текст и замысловатые названия глав делают честь автору. Эта книга совсем не бестолковая, скорее просто перенасыщена историями и притчами (которые, однако, занятны и расширят кругозор читателя; моя любимая – о правилах охоты на обезьян). Также будьте готовы к частым упоминаниям тех или иных, именитых и не очень, клиентов Мейера и огромному числу отсылок к американским телешоу, политикам, большим городам и историям успеха корпораций, родом из США.
При условии заинтересованности читателя, овладеть ключом к ответу на вопросы «Что?», «Как?» и «Когда?» (сказать, разумеется) вполне возможно. Читайте и побеждайте в спорах, ибо, как утверждает одна китайская поговорка, если не будешь сражаться, то ничего о противнике и не узнаешь.
November 19, 2020
𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 :
𝗡𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴.?
𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁!
𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲:
𝗡𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴..?
𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗢𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲! 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆!
Hellllo my lovely readers!!! 🤩🤩
You just read a small excerpt from this book. I liked it so much that I couldn't stop myself from sharing it with you. 📧
Our 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞😝 is rich in crisp, brisk and swift short words. That is why it is super-duper important to make it the heart 💚 and spine 💪🏻 of what we speak and write. Know that with slight brevity and simplicity, we can put our argument within the listener's easy grasp.
The book is full of 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 😎 which will guide you everytime you will play hopscotch with your unicorns. 🧏🏻♂️
𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 -
👉🏻 Always & always have passion for detail!! 🧐
👉🏻 Construing words literally and accepting a person's message at face value is not effective people-reading. 🤠
👉🏻 Finesse your embarrassments graciousl (trust me, this will give you adrenaline rush)
We should understand that every argument has slippery slopes but it is those very moments which separate amateurs from self-masters.
So instead of indulging in minor trifles, 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄!! It is something that you can feel right down to your toes. It is contagious. It sells. It seduces. It excites. 💃🏻
It was a roller coaster ride to complete this book as the content is quite heavy to grasp.. 😅 But it is a good reader.
𝗡𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴.?
𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁!
𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲:
𝗡𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴..?
𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 - 𝗢𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲! 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆!
Hellllo my lovely readers!!! 🤩🤩
You just read a small excerpt from this book. I liked it so much that I couldn't stop myself from sharing it with you. 📧
Our 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞😝 is rich in crisp, brisk and swift short words. That is why it is super-duper important to make it the heart 💚 and spine 💪🏻 of what we speak and write. Know that with slight brevity and simplicity, we can put our argument within the listener's easy grasp.
The book is full of 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 😎 which will guide you everytime you will play hopscotch with your unicorns. 🧏🏻♂️
𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 -
👉🏻 Always & always have passion for detail!! 🧐
👉🏻 Construing words literally and accepting a person's message at face value is not effective people-reading. 🤠
👉🏻 Finesse your embarrassments graciousl (trust me, this will give you adrenaline rush)
We should understand that every argument has slippery slopes but it is those very moments which separate amateurs from self-masters.
So instead of indulging in minor trifles, 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄!! It is something that you can feel right down to your toes. It is contagious. It sells. It seduces. It excites. 💃🏻
It was a roller coaster ride to complete this book as the content is quite heavy to grasp.. 😅 But it is a good reader.
July 23, 2020
Finished reading "How to Win Any Argument" by Robert Mayer.
Relationships - whether brief or long-term; whether business, family or social - are seldom glide-path smooth. Conflict is an inescapable part of the human condition. The choice is yours: You can keep on driving as if conflict and glitches will somehow magically self-remedy. Or you can smooth the course by putting into play the tactics this book teaches you.
It's not enough that what you have to say feels right. It must also sound right. "Feeling right" is an emotional thing. "Sounding right" is a logic thing. Here's a powerful trust building secret: Listen rather than talk, for at least 75 percent of your conversation. It works wonders because you seemed concerned to hear the other person out.
Your argument can be "well-packaged" and delivered with passion, but it isn't going to "sell" unless there's something in it that the other person likes. That's showing what's in it for them.
You're going nowhere when you argue to the wrong people about the right thing. Choose the right level of authority because sometimes it's the only way.
Pounding on a stone wall with more of what wasn't working to begin with will only provoke more resistance. I learned a long time ago that you never wrestle with a pig - you get dirty and, besides, the pig likes it. There is no sense to keep arguing with someone who hasn't any sense.
Winning arguments isn't about what's convenient or efficient. It's about what's effective.
Relationships - whether brief or long-term; whether business, family or social - are seldom glide-path smooth. Conflict is an inescapable part of the human condition. The choice is yours: You can keep on driving as if conflict and glitches will somehow magically self-remedy. Or you can smooth the course by putting into play the tactics this book teaches you.
It's not enough that what you have to say feels right. It must also sound right. "Feeling right" is an emotional thing. "Sounding right" is a logic thing. Here's a powerful trust building secret: Listen rather than talk, for at least 75 percent of your conversation. It works wonders because you seemed concerned to hear the other person out.
Your argument can be "well-packaged" and delivered with passion, but it isn't going to "sell" unless there's something in it that the other person likes. That's showing what's in it for them.
You're going nowhere when you argue to the wrong people about the right thing. Choose the right level of authority because sometimes it's the only way.
Pounding on a stone wall with more of what wasn't working to begin with will only provoke more resistance. I learned a long time ago that you never wrestle with a pig - you get dirty and, besides, the pig likes it. There is no sense to keep arguing with someone who hasn't any sense.
Winning arguments isn't about what's convenient or efficient. It's about what's effective.
November 15, 2022
Well this was a difficult book to follow. I had to re-read some paragraphs/pages twice to understand what point was being made.
Some points I felt do not work in real life because I tried implementing a few in my work life and it did not yield expected results. But major takeaway from this is that I need to maintain a proper self center and control my inherent reactions.
Delay it & give properly timed duly thought out answers.
Maybe I ought to re-read this when I am more evolved??? 2 stars for now.
Some points I felt do not work in real life because I tried implementing a few in my work life and it did not yield expected results. But major takeaway from this is that I need to maintain a proper self center and control my inherent reactions.
Delay it & give properly timed duly thought out answers.
Maybe I ought to re-read this when I am more evolved??? 2 stars for now.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 17, 2018
I feel like this book was very interesting. I feel like it gave a lot of tips on how to give a convincing argument without having to be rude and angry or steep to low blows. I feel there is a lot of stuff in there that can apply to daily life. Applying the tactics will be easier said then done but it gives good insight on where and how to start.
September 23, 2018
It was a controversial reading. Sorry Robert but it was really hard to follow your writing. I would say probably you are as good as lawyer as you are poor as book author. Having said that, the book strarts slow but then several take home message come up and are aclot useful. 5 stars for contents, 2 stars for the writing, finally 4 stars.
November 22, 2020
Useful book, many good tips and I'm glad I read it , but this seems to get you in the mindset for arguing (ie, have a calm center, listen, use correct language) rather than talking about the "logic" of arguments. Still good, but to *win* arguments I still think I need to do some more research.
July 13, 2017
Didn't learn much from this book; lots of anecdotal stories that don't mesh well with the topic at hand. Very confusing format.
April 17, 2018
Very good insights and easy steps. More business heavy than I was expecting but still applicable in most situations. Educational and fun. Highly recommend.
February 25, 2019
مفيد جدا
ولكن المترجم للغة العربية لم يوفق إيصال الفكرة في الكثير من المواضع
ولكن المترجم للغة العربية لم يوفق إيصال الفكرة في الكثير من المواضع
April 25, 2019
كتاب ممل و فيه الكثير و الكثير من القصص الغير مفيدة
August 12, 2021
This is another political correct, listening, empathy, calmness book, with lots of trivial and verbose stories.
August 10, 2023
Read it to win arguments in Facebook, no use.
Read
March 4, 2024كتاب مفيد و يلفت انتباه المرء للكثير من المسائل المتعلقة بقضايا البيع و الشراء و التفاوض على مختلف المسائل سواء زيادة في الراتب او الحصول على وظيفة
كتاب مهم
كتاب مهم
February 28, 2019
It’s complicated
February 12, 2017
Arguments are essential to gaining a better understanding of life. This book argues (or attempts) that by reading it, the reader will be fully equipped on: "how to win any argument, without raising your voice, loosing your cool, or coming to blows." With a title like that, how could one not be intrigued.
Unfortunately, the author totally missed the mark. "The art of argument" is the opening line of the books description, this is much more relatable to the books content. The book is an overarching synopsis of what an argument is (which, I quite enjoyed). However, he totally missed the point of the title, by not showing the reader how to formulate a concise argument based on a set of reasons or any evidence to support a conclusion.
If you are someone who is new to the concept of arguing (without anger), looking to gain better insight into HOW arguments are structured by identifying the premise and conclusion, then this book is not (in my opinion) the best place to start. This is however, (aside from the misleading title) a good book on the art of an argument as a whole subject. It contains many insightful ideas to add to ones repertoire once you understand the basics first.
Unfortunately, the author totally missed the mark. "The art of argument" is the opening line of the books description, this is much more relatable to the books content. The book is an overarching synopsis of what an argument is (which, I quite enjoyed). However, he totally missed the point of the title, by not showing the reader how to formulate a concise argument based on a set of reasons or any evidence to support a conclusion.
If you are someone who is new to the concept of arguing (without anger), looking to gain better insight into HOW arguments are structured by identifying the premise and conclusion, then this book is not (in my opinion) the best place to start. This is however, (aside from the misleading title) a good book on the art of an argument as a whole subject. It contains many insightful ideas to add to ones repertoire once you understand the basics first.
August 5, 2008
...the process builds up slowly (you first work on your "self control", then build a "consent zone"...) until you're sure enough you can finally throw a "Hail Mary".
The book is craftily built with real-life examples on how people managed, or failed, to "win an argument". Well, all the examples are not about winning arguments, but about one of the few things that are needed in you so that you can "win an argument".
That, in a way, is a drag in the method. I felt there are a lot many things that need to be in your head when you just want your trousers dry-cleaned neatly, or bargain with the hotel manager for a loss that you incurred, thanks to a lousy concierge. In the end, there is just a big heap of stuff you need to get right. The chapters could have been better edited. But otherwise, all that Bob says is fairly true and believable...
The book is craftily built with real-life examples on how people managed, or failed, to "win an argument". Well, all the examples are not about winning arguments, but about one of the few things that are needed in you so that you can "win an argument".
That, in a way, is a drag in the method. I felt there are a lot many things that need to be in your head when you just want your trousers dry-cleaned neatly, or bargain with the hotel manager for a loss that you incurred, thanks to a lousy concierge. In the end, there is just a big heap of stuff you need to get right. The chapters could have been better edited. But otherwise, all that Bob says is fairly true and believable...
January 17, 2008
Don't be mislead by the title; like most books on this subject, it's less about "winning arguments" than it is communicating effectively. This always involves changing one's self, not trying to change others.
July 25, 2009
Well written and helpful!
December 4, 2010
Okay book. Some good points, but much more theoretical than how to.
Read
February 27, 2013It wasn't what I thought. It's an excellent book for someone in sales. It was difficult to follow at times due to all of Robert Mayer's examples, but I got a lot out of it.
March 19, 2013
Pretty good read...a little drawn out.
November 8, 2013
A very useful book.. I purchases this book at a time when i really wanted to get better in the art of winning argument and negotiation..
This book has definitely help me to get better
This book has definitely help me to get better
March 30, 2019
It's quite like a rule-book, where you have some specific guidelines for various deadlock situations. I was not able to comprehend the central idea of this whole book in a single line(which I try to do for every other book I read). The stuff in-between felt boring, maybe because I haven't been to such scenarios in my life as of now. I would recommend this book only if you have to do meeting day in day out. It is not a sort of leisure read. Highly practical book.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews