Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead

by Dave Barry

In Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead, Dave Barry says that fitness and vitality can be yours-- provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out.

Barry on executive fitness
Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run 10 miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices are. That's why the entire U.S. economy is now manufactured overseas.

Barry on fitness after death
A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals!

Barry on nutrition
Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you've spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: "A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE." And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims.

Barry on junk foods
White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Audiobook

96 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[RJ - Slayer of Trolls · Rating 3 out of 5]

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW

This is free on Audible for subscribers (or at least I got it free - your results may vary). It's an early Dave Barry book that's not as funny as the collections of his columns but still has a giggle or two every couple of minutes.

[J · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not exactly certain where I got this book but found it on my shelves while I was re-arranging my to-read shelves after getting some more room. As a result I chose to read it then hesitated, decided not to and then finally should whatever let's go for it.

From what I can understand this author is suppose to be a comedian and one who is well-known for his laughs. Although the book itself was a clever tongue-in-cheek book and made some wise thoughts at parts it wasn't anything that really interested me nor even got one giggle from me. Why must it be so hard for you to make me laugh guys?

The writing itself is based on parodies of sales ads, dietary books, exercise manuals, etc. As a result the flow of the writing itself is rather eccentric while bounces back and forth. And the illustrations are made where you can see the supposedly cute author-narrator walking you through the steps while trying to at the same time act humble so you will overlook all his cheekiness.

There were plenty of comic-like illustrations that focused on a few main characters such as an executioner (must be a story behind this somewhere), the cleaned-up author and a few others. Due to no colors there isn't much to draw your eyes to these characters besides the often shown violence and graphic nature of them being used as diagrams for the readers.

All in all it was a pretty fast read compared to my previous sluggish 64-pager but otherwise nothing really for me to suggest a recommend to anyone, even if they may be hyperfocused health buffs who can't stand a minute without working out.

[Namera [The Literary Invertebrate] · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. He's been funnier.

[Blog] - [Bookstagram]

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed a good laugh. This did the trick.

[Sherry]

This was an audio book I listened to while working on sewing projects. I’m a fan of Dave Barry and his humor books. I thought I had read them all but I had not heard of this one. I now kind of understand why. Published in 1985, I found it not to have the comic effect of most of his other books. It is supposed to be a satirical look at fitness book advice and fads. This may have been much more apropos to the craze of fitness books in 1985. Still he's the king of extemporization and ability to jump from one topic to another until it gets to the absurd....it was ok.

[Debbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I usually enjoy Dave Barry's books, but this one was just boring. Not a single real laugh in it, just one good chuckle in the whole book.

[Scott Hayden · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did you ever bite into a cookie, enjoy the flavor for a few chews, then crunch egg shells?
Yeah, that's this book.
Funny, but vulgar.

[Seema Dubey · Rating 4 out of 5]

#StayFitAndHealthyUntilYoureDead #DaveBarry Book #53 of the year 2023

The book makes light of "health" related fads and obsessions! And, in doing so highlights the absurdity of expensive gym clothes, countless diet books and the insanity that they preach. When all that one needs to do is "eat less and work out"! People read dozens of books, consult the experts, buy special clothes and shoes - instead of, "just go out and run"! So simple.

The author echoes my thought that it's absurd to pay a huge amount of money to wear the clothes having name of another person! ("Designer clothes") Defies all logic, right! But, there it is.

I got a few laughs from the book. The passages that were expected to evoke laughter because a poor man's heater blows up or cruelty to animals left me stone cold.

The less-than-2-hours long book packs a punch!

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been wanting to read a Dave Barry book for a long time now, but humor can be a peculiar thing so I decided to start with a short one on a theme everyone can relate to. Barry is funny, no doubt about it, but it wasn’t the “drop to the ground trying to hold your stomach in while you bellow uncontrollably” sort of humor I had frankly expected. What you get instead is a quirky little examination of our nation’s obsession with wanting to stay fit (often without actually working out). There are a lot of very funny lines in this book and if you’re looking for a quick and amusing read about physical fitness, you’ll probably enjoy it.

If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satire about exercise

[Kevin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry is the very pinnacle of 80's humour. And in the 80's he wrote a couple hilarious tongue-in-cheek instructional manuals. This was published in 2000, in similar style, but not as funny.

[Deb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh.

[Lori Baker · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s really just a long standup comedian riff on fitness. Good for a laugh and entertaining but it’s not informative.

[Shawn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Insert meh emoji. A chuckle or two but that’s it. Meh.

[Don · Rating 5 out of 5]

bit a satire

[Daniel Stanley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit dated, but funny.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning. Listening to the audiobook version of this book while driving and drinking hot coffee may be dangerous. 🤯🤓

[Kenneth Sowers · Rating 2 out of 5]

not his best work

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed some humor in my life and this fit the bill! I listened to the audiobook and the reader did a fantastic job.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s fairly dated boomer humor. Will you extract a few laughs? Yes. Will it be a slog between them? Most certainly.

[Cass · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because it fit one of the catagories of our library's reading challenge. It was typical Dave Barry satire and silliness and it was a book from the 800's. It was just okay.

[Simeon · Rating 3 out of 5]

AUDIBLE - THE USUAL BARRY STUFF - SEVERAL LAUGH OUT LOUD LINES - E.G. "CROTCH BOUQUET"

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audible Audiobook

[Steven Beningo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, quick read!

[JS · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the best work from Dave Barry

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 stars

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

UGH. I could not get into this. Maybe I needed the actual book and not the audio version. Not a fan at all

[Bruce Cline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sophomoric humor, mildly amusing at best. Should have known better.

[Scott S. · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Audible Freebie

I like Barry, but this was crap.

[Edy Gies · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun listen, especially when I listened to it while exercising. It is silly and made me laugh while walking up and down some really high hills.