Veins

by Drew

VEINS is a tragicomedy novel about 22 years of a man's life in the middle of Ohio. The first novel by Drew, writer of the long-running comics Toothpaste For Dinner and Married To The Sea. Dark, weird, and funny. "For my whole life I've had 0 friends or 1 friend, which sounds sad. But in binary, that's all of them.""Sandpaper is like life. If it wasn't rough, it wouldn't be worth anything."

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Novels

147 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 1, 2011

About the author

Drew Fairweather, professionally known as Drew, is an American author and artist residing in Vermont. He is notable for being the creator of the webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner, and is the co-creator of Married to the Sea, alongside his wife Natalie Dee Fairweather.
Drew was previously a research chemist and held several patents before transitioning to full-time work with his webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner. His industry work centered around the interactions of nitrogen-bonded urea with silicone gel, which formed the basis for his later music work (under the band name Hell Orbs) as "Piss Admiral Dildo Captain". For the first two years of TFD's existence, Drew worked as a cat photographer to "make ends meet" before it became popular. In September 2006, Drew revealed himself to be the entity behind the electronic musician KOMPRESSOR, which was previously only known by the alias "Andreas K.". Drew has since released other albums under the artist name Dog Traders and CRUDBUMP. On 11 April 2011, Drew published his first novel, Veins.
In 2015 Drew revealed that he was "Mr. Eggs", a notorious internet troll who posted hundreds of times to "Misc," a forum on bodybuilding.com. Drew has also spoken of inserting false “facts” into Wikipedia articles.

Reviews

[Joey Comeau · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really clever. The writing caught me up right away. I enjoy this style of funny prose, very straightforward and content based. I have a weakness for stories about people who don't really understand how to interact with the world properly, because they feel more true to life. I also have a weakness for absurdism. This book provided an intelligent mix of the two!

Written by Drew, of Toothpaste for Dinner, but with a different feeling from that comic, I think.

[rhea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew almost nothing on this book when I started it, I know of the author (and his wife) from their various webcomics that I read on a daily basis. This was also the first book I read on the HP Touchpad through a Kindle app, I'll get to that experience after the book review. The book was a tragicomedy, some parts were definitely 2 stars for me and some parts were 4 stars. He definitely has a knack for making you laugh and cringe and sometimes at the same time. This story would work as a psychological study of Asperger's or a condition of it that leads you to look, feel, and act like a stalker. The story is fiction, but it reads very real and that makes a lot of it hard to take in. Veins is a nickname he gets in school and he hates it, the only real name we get from him is M.R. because "he hates it when people use my first two names." He has some great one-liners, slogans he's convinced a company will buy one day, and explanations for life in the book and that's where most of the comedy came from, at least for me. While we feel sad for him or even sometimes disgusted, he handles it well and tells himself and the audience the reason it's okay and why he/we shouldn't worry. "If we all got what we wanted, everyone would be astronauts, astronaut ice cream would taste good instead of like envelope glue." The book itself is written in a choppy almost mentally challenged sort of way, but it reads fast and was clearly for effect.

Now for the Kindle app (I've never used a full Kindle, so I don't know the differences), I liked reading on this way more than I ever thought I would. The option to make the background tan and the letters brown was very soothing and felt the most real. The other options are black background with white letters, which is annoying for a full book, and white background with black letters, which is decent but I don't know how long I'd want to read that. The app is in a beta so I can't see page numbers yet, which bugs some people but to me your percentage means more than page numbers on a device like this. This won't replace a real book for me, but I will use it, since I have it, for cheaper books (I was surprised that some paperbacks are still cheaper than the ebooks) and books I don't care to own physically, but also don't want to just get from the library.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Veins is an unusual book. In tone it's kind of like Catcher in the Rye, but rather than a self-indulgent rumination on the nature of beauty (or wintering ducks… f*** I can't stand CitR), it is instead a vicious social critique. Parts of it are darkly hilarious, parts are disturbing, parts are heartbreaking, but all of it seems to come out of nowhere. The narrator's voice is detached and non-descriptive, he simply relates the details of his life as though he were making a list. It's a testament to the author's ability that he was able to evoke such strong reactions.

I have a lot of feelings about this book. I think it's a scathing analysis of the systemic disadvantages faced by people with disabilities and relatively low income & opportunity, and of how these disadvantages are often elided or outright ignored. The resources simply weren't there for the narrator to escape his circumstances. His parents (dad is clearly abusive; mother is either an abuser herself or a willing enabler) provided no support. The narrator ends up bouncing from job to job and getting in & out of jail. It's clear that the narrator's own lack of understanding is largely responsible for his "bad luck," although it's also clear that his behavior is objectively anywhere from grossly inappropriate to outright illegal. No one has ever told him this or helped him to navigate society appropriately, so he stumbles into and out of some very bad trouble.

I'd argue that the narrator is clearly an example of a person who is either on the autism spectrum or has Asperger's, but I hesitate to diagnose. Furthermore, we in 2012 are able to identify the narrator's characteristics and classify them, but the story begins (loosely) when the narrator is in HS in the early 90s. As a kid who was born in the late 70s and in gradeschool in the 80s in central Ohio, it's likely that his behavior might have been chalked up to being (for lack of better words) stupid and difficult.

The fact is, people like "Veins" (a nickname he acquires in HS that he hates; we never learn his real name) really exist. There is *some* infrastructure in place to help them, but those organizations & programs are largely underfunded and ill-equipped. People slip through the cracks all the time. This is a story about just one of them.

Additional thoughts:
- this is a very real, very humanizing story about a person with mental/developmental disability. This is no "Forrest Gump" or "Flowers For Algernon," both of which I despised with every fiber of my being. It's better even than "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time." All of those seemed to me to fall back on "mentally disabled = magic powers and/or luck charms." This is far better than any of the aforementioned.
- it was necessary initially for me to separate my knowledge of the author's other works (Toothpaste for Dinner, Married to the Sea, Crudbump, Kompressor, etc) from this one. I was too tempted to see everything in the novel as a punchline from a TFD comic, and it's much more than that.

Short version: I recommend this book. You can get the Kindle download, but if you want a hard copy of the book you'll have to go to the author's website to get one: http://www.sharingmachine.com/booksmi...
The only copies available on Amazon are $56 each at the moment!

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

17 years ago, Forrest Gump came out in theaters. I remember I liked it, but then I discussed it with the mother of my girlfriend at the time. "It's ridiculous! He was rewarded for being stupid! That's not the way life works. You don't get to meet presidents and found successful companies if you're stupid." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's pretty close to what she said. It stuck with me, and pretty much ruined the movie for me.

Veins gives us the self-narrated story of another moron. Only MR (called "Veins" in high school) doesn't live in the South with a mother who loves him. He lives in Ohio with parents who actively loathe him. He does not meet presidents. He has a series of dead-end jobs and is in and out of jail. He does not get to marry the girl of his dreams, but he does get groped by a gross old woman in the grocery story parking lot.

It's also one of the most disturbingly funny books I've read in ages. I laughed out loud multiple times, thanks to passages like this one. After his cat dies, our narrator moves on to a guinea pig...

"Guinea pigs are a real waste. They are really dirty like dogs, and will find dead stuff like birds and worms, and roll on it, or chew on it. Really gross. Then when you get tired of it, it doesn't taste anything like a regular pig. They trick you at the store by calling it a pig, but the meat tastes like a Boca Burger that got dropped on the ground outside."

OK, so maybe the humor isn't for everyone, but I'm just twisted enough to have enjoyed it immensely. My ex-girlfriend's mother would have hated it, but at least she'd have to concede that it was far more realistic than Forrest Gump.

[Giddy Girlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not really a humor book as was described but interesting nonetheless. Honestly, I purchased this expecting to laugh. Instead there was a lot of cringing and if I think about it too much I could almost cry. Essentially through a series of wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time mistakes the narrator goes from an awkward (maybe slightly Aspberger's) boy harrassed at school and living in a dysfunctional home to being a convict. It was a little hard for me to read because I recognize the type of person that MD is and I've always felt extremely empathetic toward them and yet at the same time powerless to help. 90% of my nightmares are situations like MD finds himself in; wrongly accused, the odd man out, and obvious candidate for punishment (the other 10% are King Kong hunting me while I try to find a serviceable restroom so clearly I have issues).

It was well written and a good angle on telling this type of story (narrator POV, everyday vernacular) but as others have mentioned already there are a good deal of grammatical errors (some clearly to define the character's speech, others I think are typos) and a few misspelled words, etc. that take you out of the story if you're picky (I noticed them but moved on).

It was an interesting glimpse into Drew Toothpaste's mind. If you're looking for humor, stick to the daily comics.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

Veins is the first-person story of a young man named M.R., which in my line of work stands for mental retardation. He never speaks of having any developmental disability, but his actions and thoughts on life suggest a person who is quite unique...and quite in need of some intervention which he never receives.

The book is a hilarious read, though sometimes you feel bad at yourself for laughing at the unfortunate situations M.R. finds himself in.

Lots of people seem to think that this book is about Drew, the author. But other than being on overweight, short-sighted rap lover in Columbus, OH, Drew is nothing like M.R. The book would have to mention pugs to elicit any suspicions.

Mrs. Lady says about this book: Awkward.

I would not recommend this book to everyone, as there are some scenes that are less than appropriate for all audiences. But if you like awkward, dark humor, Veins may be next on your reading list.

3/5

This review first appeared on my blog:
http://mrsundquist.blogspot.com/2011/...

[Chris Salzman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every time I found myself wanting to laugh while reading, I was quieted by how depressing of a situation Veins had found himself in. Every time I wanted to feel bad, I found myself wanting to laugh at how hilarious his take on life is. It's a heartbreaking book and very well written.

It reminds me a lot of Forrest Gump and the early/later chapters of Flowers for Algernon. You're following a mentally disabled man as he navigates a world he doesn't quite understand.

[Geoffrey Gauchet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very strange and surreal at times. Funny, even at times when it probably should've been sad. In the end it was a bit depressing, but overall I enjoyed it.

One word review: interesting.

[Miguel Soto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me pasé algunos ratos bastante agradables leyendo esta gran broma, y cuando digo broma, lo digo en el mejor de los sentidos. Veins es un personaje que parece tener alguna especie de tara cognitiva, pero a diferencia de otros personajes entrañables (me viene a la mente Forrest Gump), a Veins no le pasan cosas tan extraordinarias ni legendarias, sino que en su vida cotidiana encuentra algunas estrategias de supervivencia que posteriormente le llevan a dificultades crecientes.

Está palomero, cotorro, con el humor negro típico de Drew, pero extendido.

[Good Zack · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most realistic book I've ever read in my entire life. It hits so close to home-- almost too close for the delicate and empathetic soul that I have-- one from which I have, in my maturation to adult, disallowed myself to go to my local supermarket alone around dusk during cold times of year for fear of breaking out crying at the sight of the crowd which pervades the city from which I hail, a city much like the Columbus described in Veins: a city filled with M.R.s, with pawn shop owners, with abusive parents, loved ones killed dead in a public space from substance abuse (just trying to feel good in life for once instead of awful-- for my family, it was oxycontin on the bench of a bus stop.)

If you find Veins disturbing, you aren't from one of these cities, one of the true throbbing masses of life in America, and you've probably lived a happy and posh life, or you just haven't learned to feel, and instead you remain ignorant of the M.R.s around you, or you intentionally turn a blind eye-- you don't want to deal with that shit that you despise; why can't they be successful and happy and work hard like everyone else? I understand. I wish I could turn a blind eye too.

This book is also extremely funny because it is very ridiculous, but could still, without a doubt, exist in the real world.

[Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty much the funniest, saddest, stupidest thing I've ever read.

[Radicaleinzors · Rating 1 out of 5]

terrible. i'm sorry. i love their comics but this was just terrible.

[Collin Lysford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strangely enough, the book this reminds me of the most is Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City. On the face of it, they're just about as different as books can be. Evicted is a sober and sprawling look in to the dynamics of American poverty and homelessness. Veins is a short, fictionalized account of a single person named M. R. and their journey through life.

But what they have in common is the emotional response - "It would have taken so little to do so much". When you read Evicted, you see people contorting their lives to work around these monetary obstacles and think "These numbers are so small -it'd be so easy to just pay these off". And similarly, when you read Veins, you just have one strong feeling, over and over - "If only there was a single person to help out M.R.". It's a story about a well-meaning, not-entirely-there person who doesn't have access to the same support networks we expect. It's a fever dream about missed opportunity and the reality of how few chances underprivileged people really get.

If you're a meritocracy wank person obsessed with "personal responsibility", maybe you won't get anything out of Veins. For the rest of us, even if the rapid fire pacing makes it a little hard for anything to stick, this will still give you a emotional reminder of how important it is to help people out and assume good faith.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought this would be funny, and instead it's just relentlessly and superficially sad. This is the story of Veins, an entirely unloved social outcast living in destitute poverty, whose only apparent defense against soul-crushing depression is an emotional distance from the rest of humanity provided by an implied degree of autism. He's a loser, and always has been - fat, ridiculed, friendless, and an accidental and oblivious creep to boot. The poor guy never had a chance in hell! So yeah, it's a dark one. But aside from some devastating quips, there's not a lot of meat on this bone; almost feels like Drew Toothpaste set out to make a tragicomic anti-novel of sorts, and succeeded at making something dark and forgettable. You can't help but not feel bad for Veins, as he so rarely feels sorry for himself! Wait, was that the whole point all along? Jesus, where'd I leave all my empathy?

[Zabet · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is kind of heartbreaking. The main character is painfully awkward and a touch slow, but clearly not a bad person. He grew up in the shadow of his older brother, neglected by his parents. He's constantly misunderstood not only by his family but by everyone he comes into contact with. Poor dude can't seem to catch a break, yet he remains optimistic in his weird way.

It's one of those "slice of life" kind of books, like looking into someone's window. No big drama, no big resolution.

I should probably give it four stars, because it left me feeling so uncomfortable and heartbroken, but the bitch in me can't. It's a real book, it has an ISBN, and yet it has no page numbers -- continuous page numbers are a requirement for an ISBN. This drove me batshit all the way through.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Veis ia a book that you can't really describe to people but that doesn't mean it's a bad book. It's quirky, uncomfortable but well written. The story focuses on Veins and his life story which can be sad at times but once you start reading it, you can't put it down. You see the world through his eyes and there's an awardness here that you feel bad for laughing at some of this yet you can't help it. Veins is a different type of guy but one that's what makes it so good. You can oftentimes feel his loineliness and desperation, but he is just Veins. A guy that writes slogans that no one will ever buy and occasionally listens to women pee but it's not a sexual thing at all. This is the kind of book that you read and want to stop, but you can't because it's so good.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have no idea how to review this, but I laughed really hard like out loud for real, multiple times, and read several excerpts out loud to my wife, and that doesn’t happen a whole lot with books. Drew has a way of showing how completely absurd everything in the world really is through the lens of this character who is a complete idiot, and I don’t like him because he harasses women and killed his Guinea pig (not a spoiler trust me), but he’s also kind of endearing in a way I can’t deny, and very very sad. I don’t know about this book, there’s nothing like it and you can read it in two days and it’s definitely not for everyone. Is this a recommendation? I don’t even know.

[Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't really know what I expected, honestly. I've read Married to the Sea and Toothpaste for Dinner for years, as well as Drew's other projects (things like Superpoop or The Worst Things for Sale). I read Veins because it was something new from someone whose work I enjoyed, and it was a strange, dark little book. It seemed more purely mean-spirited than "darkly humorous" to me. I recall cringing a lot and feeling very uncomfortable.

If there's some deeper meaning to Veins that I've missed, I'll accept that, but I'm also writing it off as very much not my thing.

[Caitlin P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous and surprisingly touching

I chuckled out loud so many times while reading this book. The narrator is so pathetic that I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. This was an easy, quick, enjoyable read that I recommend to anyone who has a sense of humor and/or has ever interacted with ass hole police. =)

[Tory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ahead of its time, in a sense. Weird books with no plot are de rigeur these days but I think it would've been relatively novel a decade ago?

[Peter Derk · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a dual review, Veins by Drew, which I read on the iPad and is the first eBook I read on an eReader from start to finish.

Let's start with the book.

Drew is the hilariousness behind the web site Toothpaste For Dinner, a site that's been entertaining millions of my brain cells for years. In particular, check out this one. Or this one. Or, if those don't tickle your fancy, try fucking yourself.

Drew wrote a book, and here is that book.




It's written in a sort of diary format, following the main character from high school and beyond, if ripping off Goodwill donations is considered "beyond."

The book is infused with the kind of humor we've come to expect from Drew. A couple of my favorite quotes:

On working at the zoo:

I would go around to the cages and pull out pretzel bags and other food that people threw. Animals don't see advertising, so they don't want to eat junk food. That's why they eat celery and apples.

On origami:

Free paper is easy. You go to the library and get books (free) and when you get them home, you pull out all the blank pages in the front and the back. It saves everyone else from flipping so much to get past them, and you can use the paper for lists, or letters, or signs. Some people might say to make origami, but that's a waste of paper. Everyone knows what a bird looks like, they don't need you to fold one.

On guinea pigs:

Most animals are named what they are. A cat is just a cat. A penguin is just a penguin. You can't get mad at a penguin the same way as a guinea pig. The name doesn't make you think they're going to do fetch. Call it an Ice Dog and it's different.

And, best of all, a new slogan for ice cream:

It's cold, it's dessert. We call it Ice Cream.

I think this book has lower ratings than it deserves, and I think it's because the story takes a handful of dark turns. But the turns it takes are for the sake of humor, and I sure as hell didn't find them to kill the mood or anything like that.

There could be some criticism that the story or the structure sometimes suffers in favor of a joke here and there. I wouldn't disagree with that, but the jokes are funny enough that it's justified, and frankly an out-loud laugh is rarer in reading than a story that is sensible and well paced. Who the fuck reads a book and says, "I loved it. It was very sensible."

Hell, it's a quick read, and it's five bucks. Do it, and if you hate it, read the hours of free shit on the web site and consider the five bucks payment for all of that instead.

End of Veins review.

Begin iPad reading experience.

It's screen reading. It's nicer than I thought it would be, honestly, but it's still a screen. That part I wasn't so hot on.

The interface is pretty easy to use, although I could not count the number of times I turned a page accidentally on the fingers I used to perform said action. It's a little sensitive for my liking, and it's fairly rare that I accidentally turn back a page in an analog book when I meant to turn forward. I'm not the most coordinated person, but usually I don't fuck up a motion and do the exact opposite on accident.

The only thing that made it better than reading the physical book was the fact that I got it in moments using the Kindle App. That part was nice. And it was only 5 bucks instead of 10.

But...because this was a short book, and because it wasn't the type of book you're going to find in a bookstore or library (unless you are a patron of a really great fantasy library where they give you candy and all the librarians are sexy because of their bodies AND brains, but probably more from the bodies) it made good sense to read it electronically. Reading a longer book, however, would kind of suck. And if it were a book where I could wait a day and get the physical copy in my hands, I'd do that. Plus, I would have then sent this book to my brother, and now I can't. I mean, I sort of can, but he'd have to put Kindle on his computer and then read it on his computer. That's sort of like buying someone a candle designed so that the wick is three inches into the wax and you have to dig it out first. Shitty, is what I'm saying.

So:

iPad Good: Reading short books that are priced at 50% cheaper or more online and that are not readily available in your area.

iPad Bad: Everything else, aka Most Literature.

[Alice Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a huge fan of Toothpaste for Dinner. I have been reading it since about 2006 and I’ll give a go to pretty much anything that Drew creates. I wasn’t too sure what to expect from Veins but I was hoping for some laughs and that warped yet honest way of viewing the world that TPFD has.

Veins certainly delivered. The story went to some darker places than I was expecting, definitely, but it was still funny and made plenty of astute observations. I don’t know if I can say that I enjoyed the book. There was a lot in there that was uncomfortable or squirmy or just downright sad. It wasn’t a happy story, but it was compelling and I couldn’t put it down.

The story is really a series of anecdotes from the main character, M.R. He is a weird guy and does some weird, weird things. He can explain most of the weird things he does though. He tells you the steps that lead to this situation and how each step leads to another to eventually end up with this completely bizarre outcome. M.R. just has very different way of understanding the world resulting in him thinking and doing some very strange things.

It made me think about people I’ve met who, at the time, I probably thought were a bit mentally challenged. It made me rethink that. Perhaps they just view the world through a very different lens than I do and they see things and make connections that I don’t. I don’t know what has happened to them in their lives, so maybe I should be a little less judgmental. M.R. certainly went through enough to make anyone a little crazy, although he was definitely somewhat off kilter from the get go.

If you want to get an idea of what Veins is like check out www.drewtoothpaste.com where Drew does some trolling on social media sites. The posts are written in a very similar voice to Veins and often make the same weird jumps of logic and conclusions as in the book.

I found Veins genuinely entertaining, if a little disturbing at times. It’s not a long book so even if you don’t like it you won’t have wasted too much time. Also, buying this book gave me a bit of a warm fuzzy feeling because it was the first time I was able to financially give back to Drew. I’ve been reading TPFD for a long, long time and it feels nice to show that support monetarily, even if it was only $5 for the Kindle version. There are many TPFD t-shirts that I would live to wear, but because I live in Australia the postage costs almost as much as the t-shirt.

4 out of 5 rap cassettes.

[Jason · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book because I enjoy the author's Toothpaste for Diner webcomic (and being so short and cheap, the investment was minimal).

The book shines as an outsider's view looking in. The protagonist has no real friends, essentially no family, and yet never stops trying to fit in no matter how much rejection he faces. His understanding of how the world should be is based on pop culture and very little reality, and when he's forced to reconcile the differences, it can be quite entertaining:

"Everyone tells you to look forward to swimming, but it's just another lie. You imagine that it's fun and you splash, and everyone is stripped down all the way like it's a party. That's not what it's like. The water in the pool is poisoned so it doesn't grow mold, and when you go in it, your skin feels really terrible and hurts."

But the book falters a bit in that the protagonist is unaware/confused/slow to the point of being mentally handicapped. I'm not saying the book shouldn't have been this way; perhaps it added needed depth that would have been absent had the protagonist merely been naive and selfish. But for me, my feeling sorry for the protagonist in his inability to grasp basic understandings of accepted social behavior, and wishing that a single, sane person would take some time to set him straight, drained some energy from the story that prevented me from rating it higher.

That said, part of what makes Veins work on some level is how realistic it is. People keep to themselves; we turn away when something awkward happens. The well-worn fictional formula of a mentally disadvantaged person finding someone to take care of him or push him toward a happier existence probably doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd like to think. There's no real happy ending... not even much of an ending at all. But if there's any solace to be found in finishing this book, it's knowing that the protagonist doesn't really expect life to be happy, so he's probably not as disappointed with his demise as the reader may me.

[Callie Leuck · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book by Drew, the artist behind the comic "Toothpaste for Dinner," among others. The book is described as humorous... and it is, but in a sad way. The protagonist, M.R., is this guy who is so positive and tries to make his life better, and half the time that is what makes his life worse. All sorts of bad things happen to him, from a bad picture day his freshman year in high school leading to the entire school calling him Veins, to being falsely accused of his hard-partying brother's death and then being disowned by his parents.

M.R. is telling this story because he being held under accusation of burning down the Wendy's, and he says he has to tell us all this backstory -- all the bad things that happened in his life, all the ways people made his life worse, and all the ways he unintentionally made his life worse by not understanding how to do things -- so that we'll understand why he doesn't know why the Wendy's burned, and why he was blamed.

It's a strange story, but perhaps deceptively brilliant. You feel this great sense of compassion for M.R. and anger at how everybody who should have helped him instead completely let him down. You get the feeling that here is a man who should have been fine, maybe he's not too smart, but really what happened is society let him down. Everybody let him down. And you feel maybe you let him down too, or might let down someone like him.

Update: After glancing over some of the other reviews, I realize I forgot to add -- yes, there really are parts that are laugh-out-loud funny. It's just that it's funny in a really weird way. You feel off-put and amused at the same time. That is difficult to do, so kudos to the author for that. Also: it's just a really compelling story. I didn't know what I was reading when I started, but it's hard to stop. It pulls you forward. You feel all the feels.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first thing to say is that I chose 5 stars because that correlates to "it was amazing" on the tool-tip and I thought it definitely was! However, obviously any review is subjective but with this in particular it's worth saying that I think this book would be entirely lost on some people. It's an odd brand of humour to put it lightly but an excellent one in my opinion.
It just falls on the right side of absurd/believable and you can see real life in there amongst the ridiculousness of the situations.
I would love to read another book like it but I am not sure that there is one. I even emailed Drew, the author, to ask if he had taken his inspiration from anywhere but he said he hadn't and that as far as he knew, there wasn't any other book like it, which I can well believe. Its uniqueness means that I think it demands to be tried by anyone who reads and is looking for something 'different'.
An added bonus is that Drew writes really well, too. I almost began to believe (or maybe want to believe) that M.R. (protagonist and narrator) was real. He is such a complete character and I got to feel that I knew him. I think he's a character I'd like to know... not be friends with... but know.
There is something heartwarming in the tragicomedy of Veins, in phrases like the Forrest Gump-esque "Life is like sandpaper. If it's not rough, it's not worth anything." M.R's charming, weird but mostly infallible logic is hard not to smile at and I can't stress enough how this book just deserves to be TRIED. Chances are you've never read anything like it so why not? There's a good chance it will be the best book you've read in a long time.

[Charles Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only sensible way to describe Drew is to explain why he is not Charles Bukowski.
1. Though a dread of life permeates Veins, the narrator isn't defeated by it. He has been doomed by bad parenting, bad schooling, bad genetics, and essentially an entire community that has refused to raise a soft-hearted man completely incapable of raising himself. Motorcycle Dude isn't beyond resentment, but he refuses to be controlled by it.
2. The artistry in the words is more subtle and way more satisfying. His ability to instill complex ideas into simple phrasing is on display throughout Veins, leading to one of the best closing lines of any book I've read in quite a while.
3. Within Veins, you always understand that you are dealing with a character that may be deficient of mind, but not deficient of spirit. This makes the reader's anguish more pronounced. Hope sustains throughout that things will change for Motorcycle Dude. It seems impossible, but you hope all the same.
4. It makes more sense why the peripheral characters are so flat. With Bukowski, it seems stubborn and close-minded. With Drew, it is because his character can't connect with humanity no matter how hard he may try. His myopia isn't a choice. It is a curse.
This book reads quickly, almost as a series of loosely-linked vignettes rather than a traditional novel, but it can be hard on the soul. Worth it, but be forewarned that you may need something within arms reach to hug onto. More of Drew at toothpastefordinner.com.

[Matthew Dowd · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this because I really enjoy Drew's comic, Toothpaste for Dinner. It's quite amusing, and since that is free and this is not, why not support the guy? I'm glad that I did, but this was not what I was expecting. That is not a complaint. It's a short and good read, especially if you like feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Every review I had read about this book fell into one of two camps: 'funniest thing ever, I snorted beer out of my nose' and 'total crap, what the fuck dude?'

I don't really think either of these ways of reading it hit the mark. In the end, it was mostly just sad, because the main character was that kid from high school that everyone made fun of. Not the one that had a few friends and was secretly misunderstood, like in so many other novels. M.R. is the one that was actually stupid, and a bit insanely optimistic. Failed by parents and teachers, he has no idea what is and is not appropriate, and has no idea what to aspire to, so barest survival seems awesome. He slips through the cracks and the story is basically what could happen to such a person as they... fail to grow up.

It's not totally believable, but M.R. still has his strange internal logic that works throughout the book that kept me reading. There were definitely some memorable lines, and I don't believe anyone has ever knocked hiking down a notch so effectively.

I'd say go for it, especially if you have a free afternoon.

[Kanni · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book description is an ambiguous one-liner, "Veins is a humorous story about a man's life in Ohio." First of all, it was hardly humorous and second of all, it was the complete opposite - downright depressing and just plain weird!

Okay, I have to admit, there were a few parts that were smile inducing and perhaps even chuckle worthy, but most of it is questionable and so awkward. I was often uncomfortable reading it, wondering, "seriously, is this guy retarded?"

Veins is pathetic and unintelligent, but kind and tried hard. There were times when I felt sorry for the character, but the book was mostly just painful to read through. So why did I finish it? I have NO idea, other than perhaps because it's not a very long book and I hate quitting. Yes, it was free on Amazon at the time when I downloaded it (as my books often are).

At first, it began with a similar mood and style of Chbosky's Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's written in the first person (journal style) of a mid-teen boy who doesn't quite fit in anywhere. Unfortunately, the similarities end there. I wasn't too impressed with Perks and this was even worse for me.

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm so conflicted about this book. I always loved Natalie Dee's comics when she was still drawing them. Her husband Drew had some web comics too (Toothpaste for Dinner and Married to the Sea) but his sense of humor didn't hit me as funny as hers did. I eventually started following him on Facebook because some other friends had shared funny posts of his. On December 7, he posted that his book was available for free on Amazon. I got it because I had heard good things about it. I'm so conflicted about this book because it's so sad and funny. There are so many lines out of the book that are profound and hilarious but at the same time so depressing and sad. I think everyone has known someone like the character of this book. Someone who just doesn't quite get how to talk to people or how to behave within the "normal" social standards. His attitude was so positive but there were times when you cringe at what he does. I was kind of bummed when the book ended because I wanted to know what else this character would be doing with his life but then on the other hand I was relieved because his entire life story was just sad.

This book is definitely worth a read.

[Alexandria · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's pretty simple. It's quite twisted. There are some moments where I physically cringed, especially at some of the awkward bits. I think it's successfully both funny and sad at the same time. I've never read a book even remotely like this before and because it was so different it took me a few days to kinda "digest" it. I still can't decide if I love the main character or if I'm creeped out by him, maybe both. He's both relatable and bizarre as fuck and I'd wager most of us have met at least one person not unlike him. It's a weird enough book that I can't imagine it'd be for everyone but, personally, after letting it sit for a few days I've decided that it's a new favourite. I might actually like it more reading it a second time around. The writing is really simplistic (trust me, it really works for the story) but it's still a thinker. Now all I have to do is force my husband to read it so I have someone to talk to about it, haha.