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The Art and Practice of Loving: Living a Heartfelt Yes
"Practices and wonderful quotations to help re-open our heart." - Ram Dass, author of Be Here Now and How Can I Help?
"Andrews provides such a wealth of creative and insightful ideas that his book is likely to change the meaning of your life forever." - Leading Edge Review
"So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Make love your aim." - St. Paul
One goal transcends all others, one purpose heightens all others, one emotion brings joy to all to love fully and without conditions. The most wise men and women of all religious and philosophical traditions have taught the art and practice of loving. Now for the first time, their knowledge has been distilled and collected in this one volume-with 144 practices for cultivating a loving heart.
This is a unique and practical guidebook for loving-deeply and continuously-regardless of what happens to you as you go through life. With the inspiring quotations, valuable exercises, and insightful text of this volume, you can gain the skill and the will to turn living into loving.
"Earth's the right place for I don't know where it's likely to go better." - Robert Frost
"If you wish to open your heart to love, to explore the depth of your soul, to experience help on your spiritual journey, and to meditate on spiritual truths, then this is the book for you." - Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear
"Andrews provides such a wealth of creative and insightful ideas that his book is likely to change the meaning of your life forever." - Leading Edge Review
"So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Make love your aim." - St. Paul
One goal transcends all others, one purpose heightens all others, one emotion brings joy to all to love fully and without conditions. The most wise men and women of all religious and philosophical traditions have taught the art and practice of loving. Now for the first time, their knowledge has been distilled and collected in this one volume-with 144 practices for cultivating a loving heart.
This is a unique and practical guidebook for loving-deeply and continuously-regardless of what happens to you as you go through life. With the inspiring quotations, valuable exercises, and insightful text of this volume, you can gain the skill and the will to turn living into loving.
"Earth's the right place for I don't know where it's likely to go better." - Robert Frost
"If you wish to open your heart to love, to explore the depth of your soul, to experience help on your spiritual journey, and to meditate on spiritual truths, then this is the book for you." - Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear
244 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 1990
27 people are currently reading
170 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 10, 2016
20 years ago, I suffered from a heartbreak that devastated me. I had trouble eating, and frequently awoke in terror at what I'd lost. I cried endlessly. After weeks of this, I had an epiphany: I needed to teach myself how to love. I realized that love isn't something I can own, or have someone else do to me. Love is an act. It's a behavior. It's something I can do, and I can choose to do it anytime, rather than waiting for that special someone to create love in my life.
So, I stopped crying and started loving. I loved everything. I loved my friends, but then I started loving the trees, and strangers, and life itself. I gave everything I could to help people and make their lives better, rather than being upset that someone in particular wasn't there to make my life better. It may sound cheesy, but this was my therapy. Giving love instead of wishing I could get it. It was an incredibly healing practice, and it changed my life.
Years later, long after that failed relationship had torn me down and I'd built myself back up, someone recommended this book to me. It was exactly that epiphany I had, spelled out in words. If only I'd had this book back then. Teaching myself to love would have been so much easier. I would have had a guidebook, and plenty of exercises to help me love better.
The suffering I experienced wasn't caused so much by the loss, but by my beliefs. The problem I had, really, was a limited conception of love. If someone asked me to define it, I would have had trouble, but it probably would have sounded like something resembling a pop song. This book described love as "a heartfelt yes." It's about accepting the world and life on its own terms. I gives thirty words to describe love, things like affection, awe, caring, alertness, curiosity, enthusiasm, joy, peace, wonder, and thankfulness. We don't need to wait someone or something special to start experiencing these.
Then it talks about the myths people have about love: the myth of romance, for example: "To many people, the word loving means only powerful romantic or sexual attraction." Or the myth of being loved: "that what is really important is not to love, but to be loved and approved by others."
Chapter 3 is about reactive and intentional loving. Reactive love is what most people do. They only love in reaction to something that strikes them as particularly lovable. This book says you can take a more proactive approach, and seek out lovable aspects of ordinary things, people, and experiences.
Much of the rest of the book addresses specific aspects of loving: habits, loving others, loving yourself, grieving, loving through action, etc.
There are a lot of practices in this book. It's kind of ridiculous. Out of 225 pages, there are 144 practices. That's more than one practice for every two pages. This got pretty overwhelming, and I gave up trying to do them. I can't imagine anyone doing all of them. For one thing, it would take ages. But also, many of these practices aren't really practices. They're more like perspectives. And some of them are very specific to certain circumstances, which might not be relevant for everyone.
I don't think doing practices like this, just for the sake of doing them, is all that useful anyway. It's probably better to pick only a few that you feel inspired to do, and do those few a lot. Think of it like choosing between hundreds of therapies. This book would be especially therapeutic during a time of crisis, sadness, or loneliness, but it's even better to be proactive than reactive, as this book discusses. Still, I can imagine that during such dark times, these practices would be much more effective and powerful.
This book is really quite relevant for a lot of situations, since they can all involve loving: being a better partner or parent, doing a better job in a helping profession, recovering from a divorce, grieving a death, etc. I'd also recommend this to anyone who's experience heartbreak or loss and it devastated them like it did me. If I saw someone in pain, feeling depressed or lonely, I'd definitely recommend this book. Especially in those circumstances, I can imagine this book could be life altering.
A lot of the wording in this book is cheesy and silly. It can feel like syrupy, new age pop-psych, which turns me off. Shit really gets woo-woo when he starts talking about God as a path to loving. But loving is cheesy. That's just how it is. It's soft and tender and warm and fuzzy. It's hearts and flowers and sunshine, all the dumb Care Bear stuff that makes us roll our eyes and laugh. That's fine, you can laugh. Just read it anyway, and feel free to ignore anything that isn't relevant or useful.
So, I stopped crying and started loving. I loved everything. I loved my friends, but then I started loving the trees, and strangers, and life itself. I gave everything I could to help people and make their lives better, rather than being upset that someone in particular wasn't there to make my life better. It may sound cheesy, but this was my therapy. Giving love instead of wishing I could get it. It was an incredibly healing practice, and it changed my life.
Years later, long after that failed relationship had torn me down and I'd built myself back up, someone recommended this book to me. It was exactly that epiphany I had, spelled out in words. If only I'd had this book back then. Teaching myself to love would have been so much easier. I would have had a guidebook, and plenty of exercises to help me love better.
The suffering I experienced wasn't caused so much by the loss, but by my beliefs. The problem I had, really, was a limited conception of love. If someone asked me to define it, I would have had trouble, but it probably would have sounded like something resembling a pop song. This book described love as "a heartfelt yes." It's about accepting the world and life on its own terms. I gives thirty words to describe love, things like affection, awe, caring, alertness, curiosity, enthusiasm, joy, peace, wonder, and thankfulness. We don't need to wait someone or something special to start experiencing these.
Then it talks about the myths people have about love: the myth of romance, for example: "To many people, the word loving means only powerful romantic or sexual attraction." Or the myth of being loved: "that what is really important is not to love, but to be loved and approved by others."
Chapter 3 is about reactive and intentional loving. Reactive love is what most people do. They only love in reaction to something that strikes them as particularly lovable. This book says you can take a more proactive approach, and seek out lovable aspects of ordinary things, people, and experiences.
Much of the rest of the book addresses specific aspects of loving: habits, loving others, loving yourself, grieving, loving through action, etc.
There are a lot of practices in this book. It's kind of ridiculous. Out of 225 pages, there are 144 practices. That's more than one practice for every two pages. This got pretty overwhelming, and I gave up trying to do them. I can't imagine anyone doing all of them. For one thing, it would take ages. But also, many of these practices aren't really practices. They're more like perspectives. And some of them are very specific to certain circumstances, which might not be relevant for everyone.
I don't think doing practices like this, just for the sake of doing them, is all that useful anyway. It's probably better to pick only a few that you feel inspired to do, and do those few a lot. Think of it like choosing between hundreds of therapies. This book would be especially therapeutic during a time of crisis, sadness, or loneliness, but it's even better to be proactive than reactive, as this book discusses. Still, I can imagine that during such dark times, these practices would be much more effective and powerful.
This book is really quite relevant for a lot of situations, since they can all involve loving: being a better partner or parent, doing a better job in a helping profession, recovering from a divorce, grieving a death, etc. I'd also recommend this to anyone who's experience heartbreak or loss and it devastated them like it did me. If I saw someone in pain, feeling depressed or lonely, I'd definitely recommend this book. Especially in those circumstances, I can imagine this book could be life altering.
A lot of the wording in this book is cheesy and silly. It can feel like syrupy, new age pop-psych, which turns me off. Shit really gets woo-woo when he starts talking about God as a path to loving. But loving is cheesy. That's just how it is. It's soft and tender and warm and fuzzy. It's hearts and flowers and sunshine, all the dumb Care Bear stuff that makes us roll our eyes and laugh. That's fine, you can laugh. Just read it anyway, and feel free to ignore anything that isn't relevant or useful.
May 5, 2009
One of my absolute favorite books of all time. I will always have this book with me no matter where I am.
July 11, 2024
thankful to my airplane neighbor for lending me this book once we realized the movie screens were out and i had nothing else to do on my 4 hour flight. it was a little cheesy at times (sometimes i loved the woo-woo and other times it was a little much). it has some good journal prompts in there to refer back to, and I appreciated the overall message / outlook on life
April 13, 2010
I picked up this book in 2005 because I was taking a college course from Frank (the author) at the time. He was one of the most loving and genuine people I've ever met and I really wanted to read what he had to say. The book spent many years on my shelf before I picked it up again, but I am glad I picked it up when I did. It made the perfect companion to Keyes' "Handbook to Higher Consciousness," quotes from Keyes are common throughout Frank's book. It gives more concrete practices and writing exercises that really help the reader grapple with some otherwise intangible topics.
November 2, 2016
I am very thankful to have found this book. If there is one book out there that I think can help people with genuine self discovery this would be it. This is not a book that you can read through quickly. It is an easy read, but the lessons you internalize take time to flesh out and the results are life altering. If you do all the readings with the practices, you will really see a difference in how you experience life.
I have recommended and given this book to anyone who needs (or knows someone who needs) help with self reflection and overcoming blockages.
I have recommended and given this book to anyone who needs (or knows someone who needs) help with self reflection and overcoming blockages.
August 4, 2014
I believe we are driven by either fear or love so this was a great discovery for me at a thrift store, no less!
Lots of clear examples of what love is and isn't and great ways to become cognizant of how you are withholding, judging, comparing, not only with others but with yourself. This is the kind of book you keep in your bag, by your bed, etc. I really can't imagine how it ended up at a thrift store because it really is a treasure.
Lots of clear examples of what love is and isn't and great ways to become cognizant of how you are withholding, judging, comparing, not only with others but with yourself. This is the kind of book you keep in your bag, by your bed, etc. I really can't imagine how it ended up at a thrift store because it really is a treasure.
July 6, 2021
It took me a whole to finish this book. We need to take time to read one by one practice. This is truly a practice book, where you have to work on it (the loving journey), where you have to bring yourself back in time and place, remember things, people, events and make peace with all.
It helped me go through those bad days and be stronger, happier with my decision: become a little kinder self.
It helped me go through those bad days and be stronger, happier with my decision: become a little kinder self.
June 5, 2025
I found this book while taking a Coursera course on Love as social action, and the book (and the course to some extent) has been life-changing. So affirming. I will be trying to live up to it for the rest of my life.
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October 23, 2025Practical and inspirational, this exercise-filled volume distills the knowledge of wise men and women from all religious and philosophical traditions to create a compendium of 144 practices to help cultivate a loving heart.
March 14, 2018
A powerful book -- surprisingly very practical/action-based. I highly recommend it.
V
V
June 18, 2018
A should be read book for everyone.
June 27, 2019
The content is good, though I found the presentation to be less accessible than other books with similar content. In this form, it may speak to you more than to me.
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April 12, 2020Left off on page 10.
November 7, 2020
interesting categorisation of love
November 28, 2022
A gem of a book.
October 17, 2016
The most wonderful way to see the world.. this book is a blessing :)
May 10, 2020
This book is life changing. I highly recommend it.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews