What in Hell is up with Heaven?: No rest for the wicked...

by Christopher David Petersen

Religious A humorous tale of the Gods of Heaven and Hell. Satan has a problem. He has come up short on his quotas for collecting souls and he is none too pleased. With the help of his loyal and trusted companion, Grim Reaper, the pair orchestrate a natural disaster that will balance the “books”. With an undertaking of this size, the two will need to hire some help. They outsource the work to Jesus, Hercules, Mary and Joseph, right under the nose of God. The plan is doomed from its inception, but Satan is a determined little demon and will stop at nothing to succeed. With Jesus’ drinking problem, Hercules’ steroid addiction and Mary and Josephs financial woes, could Satan’s plan really have a chance? Follow the long cast of immortals as they manage to turn their celestial world upside down.

Genres: Fiction, Humor

263 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 21, 2011

About the author

Christopher David Petersen (1963 – 20??). Born and raised in Connecticut. As a child, I was always daring and reckless. Never one to let common sense stand in the way of a great adventure, my bold feats of stupidity were legendary… Huckleberry Finn would have been proud.

“Surprisingly”, that same spirit carried over into adulthood, as I sought out entertainment that included: scuba diving; ski Mountaineering; mountain biking; Rock, Ice and Mountain climbing; flying planes; golf, motorcycles, the stock market and of course, experimentation with various alcoholic refreshments.

Later in life, writing became an extension of my deep desire to experience “new and exciting worlds”. I have written several books, but none have been published through any formal channels… I’ve heard the process is long, painful and laborious, the thought of which sickens me. My foray into e-publishing came after a friend suggested my works could fetch dollars instead of dust inside my sock drawer… a righteous observation. My recent publications are the result of this advice.

An Engineer by trade and Writer by passion, I have worked all over the U.S. and usually write in my spare time… that is when I’m not enjoying a bottle of Scotch and a quality cigar. I am a naturally long-winded individual, so writing is what happens when I can’t get anyone to listen to me anymore…

I love all kinds of genres but gravitate more towards suspense. There is nothing like the build up to a great climax… What a rush!

With my new discovery in self-publishing, I have become focused and more determined to produce far greater works. Further adventure/suspense novels are soon to be released.

Bio sourced from: http://christopherdavidpetersen.wordp...

Reviews

[Sarah Hulcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A VERY intresting *cough* take on heaven, hell, god, satan, all those famous people in the bible book and some from other places... when I finished the book, I commented to Chris that he was "just a bit twisted." He replied that his parents despaired of figuring out where his attitude was created. The book is truly funny.

Satan decides he is not getting his fair share of souls and begins plotting with some nefarious characters as to how to cause some mayhem on earth without god discovering his plans in time to circumvent them. He involves Jesus, Hercules, Mary and Joseph (among others) to help him set things up and hopes things work out as planned. It could happen!... or, well, one never knows.

It appears this is a situation where Chris is one of the people who should join the "I wasn't born here but I got here as soon as I could" group of people who live in Texas. He definitely has the right attitude to be an honorary Texan - which may or may not tell you a lot about how his mind works. Personally, I like it!

[Gae-Lynn Woods · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this totally irreverent and snarky read, Chris Petersen sneaks a peek at the private lives of some of the more famous celestial beings and what he finds is shocking! Petersen reveals his thoroughly deviant sense of humor in the story line, but especially in his character development – my personal favorites are Grim and G, although Red is pretty funny, too.

Had me giggling and laughing out loud in places, particularly when God goes ‘commando’. Highly recommended if you need a chuckle!

[Lynne - The Book Squirrel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loving this book, hillariously funny and a bit wacky and some may say wicked! The thought of God, Satan, and other Gods playing poker every week is hillarious.

Got caught laughing while reading the final chapters in Denners (Beales) cafe at lunchtime, excellent read!

[Andi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't like this book; I found it very odd. I know it is supposed to be a religious satire, but it's just not what I expected. To begin with, the conversation between God and Satan is amusing, especially the "Does the Pope sh*t in the woods" conversation, but it just isn't enough to make a whole book out of. I quickly grew tired of the cheap gags. Again, it is amusing to think God might have a spitting contest or might have to go on a diet, but these are stand alone jokes and none of them really gel together to make an interesting read.

This book is unusual, in that many of the characters are ones we are already very familiar with. I don't think that was a problem, but the personalities of the characters were not consistent making them difficult to believe. Their dialogue didn't match their personalities and I found it annoying that the characters' styles of speech changed so regularly.

There were many spelling and grammatical errors, which a quick proof read could have corrected. That on its own usually spoils a book for me, because it feels like the book has been rushed to the publishers without the attention to detail required. If an author can't be bothered to read their own book, why should I?

[J.W. Stephens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok - I waffled on whether to give "What In Hell is Up With Heaven" three stars or four and I settled on four due to the ending. Overall this was a cute book with some laugh out loud moments, but some of the dialog struck me as repetitive & strained when it didn't have to be. It grated on me enough that in the middle of the book I was thinking "3 stars at best", but by the last quarter the pace had quickened considerably and there was a tiny twist that worked very nicely. Now having said all that - I did like this story and it was definately a new idea out there that was worth reading. I really enjoyed the idea of God & Satan having a relationship outside of "work" - things like Poker Night at God's place cracked me up! I think I will pick up the author's other book, Tear in Time and give it a read too.

[Mark Abrams · Rating 4 out of 5]

This 300 page irreverent romp among the immortals was very clever and very funny. I often found myself wearing a smile on my face and chuckling at some of the antics of such characters as Hercules, Satan, and the Grim Reaper among others. Although the cast included Jesus and other people from the Christian Bible, I really couldn't see anyone being offended by this religious satire which was obviously written only to be funny and good-natured.

I would recommend this to anyone who likes satire and could do with a chuckle!.

[Bobbie C Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not just 'another bible story' -- yet it is.

You must have an open mind and be willing to read this story about God and Satan being 'old friends' to get the message of "What in Hell . . . " -- Yet, doesn't the Bible speak of God and Satan having a "friends" relationship of sorts? If not, then how is it that the Bible mentions Satan at one time being an angel?????

This book can make you laugh hard enough to pee your pants -- and give you a spiritual message all at the same time.