The Art of Saying Goodbye

by Ellyn Bache

“Bache writes straight from the heart, peopling her pages with characters you will never forget.”
—Lee Smith, author of Fair and Tender Ladies

“Ellyn Bache draws her characters from the inside.”
—Baltimore Sun

Critically acclaimed author Ellyn Bache captivates with The Art of Saying Goodbye, a beautiful and poignant story of four suburban women who gain new insights and appreciations of their own lives when a much-loved neighbor falls gravely ill. In the tradition of Kristin Hannah’s Firefly Lane and Marisa de los Santos’s Belong to Me, Bache’s The Art of Saying Goodbye is a beautiful and touching story of friendship, love, commitment, and self-discovery that will enthrall readers of Jodi Picault and Jill Barnett.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Book Club, Womens Fiction, Friendship, Adult Fiction, Drama

352 pages, Paperback

First published May 19, 2011

About the author

Ellyn Bache is the author of nine novels, including Safe Passage, which was made into a movie starring Susan Sarandon, and The Art of Saying Goodbye, which was chosen as an “Okra Pick” by the Southeastern Independent Booksellers Alliance. She began her career writing short stories for women’s magazines like McCall’s and Good Housekeeping, some of which have recently been collected in Kaleidoscope: 20 Stories Celebrating Women’s Magazine Fiction. She has also published dozens of literary stories, including those which appeared in a collection that won the Willa Cather Fiction Prize. After many years living in Wilmington, NC, she moved to Greenville, SC, a lovely city but much too far from the ocean. Visit her at www.ellynbache.com

Reviews

[Jennifer]

As I mentioned in my initial thoughts post, I didn’t really like how this book began. I continued to read a bit more, but I never connected with any of the characters and ended up putting it aside to read something else, intending to come back to it. I never have. It’s a bit of a let down, too, because I enjoy books that explore friendships between women and this one looks like a winner from the outside. The execution just didn’t jive with my style, unfortunately.

The book starts with a jerky narration as we meet five women and the point-of-view shifts back and forth between each of them. It’s hard to know who is narrating from one paragraph to the next, which makes for difficult (and SLOW) reading. Things did seem to get better after that initial chapter as the narration settled into just one or two characters at a time. But, I never really connected with any of them. I never truly felt their friendship.

I might attribute it to the season. It is summer and this is kind of a heavy read. But, I recently read Hello, Goodbye, which also deals with end-of-life issues, and I absolutely LOVED it. So, I’m not sure I can hang my hat on that. I just have to say that this book did not work for me, but not to say that I won’t try reading it at another time. Right now, I could not get into it.

Final Rating: Did Not Finish (DNF)

[Cate (The Professional Fangirl) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Reading Good Books @ Wordpress review.

* In compliance with FTC guidelines, it should be noted that I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

I won this book during the 30 May 2011 drawing of GoodReads First Reads. I had been playing for just a week. Lucky! I was one of 18 winners of this book. In the past, I have read only one similar book, a book about a bevy of women bonding together, and that was The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler. Although I do not have much experience with the genre, I was looking forward to reading this book.

The book is about five women — Iona, Julianne, Andrea, Ginger, and their rock, Paisley. On the surface, all they had in common as living in the same neighborhood, Brightwood Trace. Paisley, “was the thread that wove their tapestry together”. But what happens when that thread weakens and breaks?

It is set during the last days of Paisley’s life, flashbacks of their time with her. The good and the bad. Each of the women learn how to cope with their own issues, their families, their goals, their lives so far. All of them reflect at how Paisley has touched their lives and now, it was their turn to give back to her before she finally says goodbye.

I really like how the women do have distinct voices. They are five very different women. To me, a sign of good writing is when I could see the characters materialize in my head as I am reading the words off the page. Like I am hearing their voices as they talk. Even though the book also talks about the other women, it still revolves around Paisley. Each chapter dedicates itself to one of the women, talking about her present life and/or past experiences with her. But when it comes to the chapters where she is the one talking, the point of view shifts to first person, whereas everything else was told in third person. I found that very interesting. It felt like she was telling her little stories while watching the days go by, just waiting… waiting for her time. And I found that very touching.

My favorite character was Julianne. When I read the summary on GoodReads, Julianne was described as “a nurse with an unsettling psychic ability that allows her to literally feel what her patients feel”. I saw the word “psychic” and I had doubts. But she ended up being the one I liked the most. She was the one who first found out about Paisley’s illness and throughout the story and I felt she was the one who was affected the most by it. Disturbed, really… being the one who pretty much felt it.

I also like Brynne, Paisley’s eldest daughter. I think I related to Brynne a lot because I also suffered a loss. Almost eight years ago, I lost my father. I did not lose him to cancer but it was quick nonetheless. This was one of the reasons why I was adamant to read this right after I read that it was about losing someone and “saying goodbye”. But I am glad I read it.

The book tries to be “not sad”. It celebrates Paisley’s life and how she touched other people. But I must admit, I shed a few tears along the way. I know the pain of losing someone and in a way, I took from that personal experience and I understood the emotions going on on the page. It imparts a lot of life lessons, telling the reader to be strong always and make the most out of life.

Rating: 4/5.

Recommendation: It is a perfect book club selection. Especially if you are composed of strong individuals, strong women. Even if it does tackle the topic of death, it made me feel good.

Reading Group Guide

[Connie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this book was padded with mundane details. I was disappointed in not finding any light-bulb moments to give the title credence. I kept waiting for something to happen. Please just let Paisley's friends, at her funeral, drape feather boas across their shoulders and "dance, girls, and all the cares of the world will go away." Not even that. Bummer!

[Merida Johns · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I enjoyed most about this novel was the technical and artful use of the present tense throughout. The concept of the story (arising from something that happened in her suburban neighborhood) of how to say goodbye to a terminally ill friend is something most of us face one time or another. However, I believe the novel fails to hit the mark—it tells us rather than shows us the inner struggle of friends in meeting this challenge. I would have liked to feel the inner fears of the protagonist’s friends, be one with them, and learn what their transformations were. Perhaps that was the point—avoidance by friends and life goes on—but I was looking for something more profound.

[Georgette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had this book since last June. For some reason it took until now to get to it(likely those other 1,000 books on my shelf have something to do with it.). Paisley is a carefree housewife living in Brightwood Trace. She is, no doubt, the life of the party and the neighborhood. The one who is always there for everyone in the neighborhood, no matter what they're going through. She goes in for a pre-op exam and her friend Julianne(another member of the neighborhood)finds something. That something turns out to be pancreatic cancer that's metastized(sic)to her liver. Essentially, a death sentence. Suddenly, all of the women in the neighborhood have to deal with this harsh reality. All of them, in one way or another, are unsure how to say goodbye to Paisley. Iona is the fifty something friend who lost her husband in a freak accident ten years ago, and never quite recovered. Ginger is wrestling with a jealously about her husband's physical appreciation of Paisley's beauty, although she has a happy marriage(we soon find out why she feels this way). Julianne is wrought with guilt for finding the cancer, although she ends up saving another person's life and helping Paisley's daughter with her mom's downhill slide. Andrea is unhappy with her life and her marriage, but her husband is offered a chance of a lifetime, and that opens another door just as Paisley's is closing. What a great, great book. The women are all vastly different personalities, and in light of Paisley's demise, you see just how truly different they are- and to their friend, you see them each struggle individually with how to handle normal friendships with her, despite the fact she's terminal. You really honestly cannot put this book down. I wish I had read it sooner than this, but I'm glad I did read it.

[Holly (2 Kids and Tired) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sometimes I hit a wave of books that I just don't connect with. Perhaps it's me and the circumstances of my life at the time, perhaps it's the books. The Art of Saying Goodbye was another disappointment to me.

I normally enjoy books that explore the friendships of women. I thought the author did a good job capturing some of the intricacies and feelings of each of these women as Paisley's cancer diagnosis causes them to evaluate their lives and relationships. The book's point of view/narration moves from woman to woman, alternating with Paisley's first-person narrative. And, unfortunately, I was never able to connect with any of them and found the whole thing rather shallow. I never felt that there was a true bond of friendship between them. With an exception or two, they all seemed more like acquaintances who happened to live in the same neighborhood and while they genuinely cared about each other they were not true bosom girlfriends.

This is one novel, however, that I can book clubs enjoying. Some readers will want to know that there is incidental profanity and sex.

[Wren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A close-knit neighborhood is rocked by the news that Paisley, the most charismatic and kind woman on the block, has pancreatic cancer that has already traveled to her liver. Each person responds to this news differently. The novel describes the layers of friendship that exist between and among these women. We learn about their mixed loyalties, their indebtedness, their betrayals, their secrets and their saviors. The men and children in their lives are affected not only by Paisley's ill health but by the complicated friendships they have formed. A really good archeolagy of female interconectedness with all the pain and joys these relationships bring. Rated PG-13 if not a little towards R for some sex scenes.

[Amber · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked up this story hoping for a tale of love, loss, and grief. Instead I read about a bunch of caddy women jealous of their dying neighbor...jealous of her spirit and beauty that causes their husbands to stare at her instead of themselves. The characters are shallow and some are so similar to one another that's it's easy to confuse them with each other. I wanted to give it up early on, but I held onto the glimmer of hope that this story would somehow redeem itself. It didn't. My advice to you is that if you see this in your local bookstore or library, keep on walking....

[Jenifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was such a fast, smooth read. It had incredibly relatable characters and a realistic but sad storyline. It's moving in the simple, painful way that life often is. I enjoyed what felt like a glimpse into the everyday life of these women and by the end felt like I had known them for years.

[Carrie]

Looks like a good book, I'm looking forward to receiving this in the mail so I can read it!! Thanks Goodreads for the win!

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me 7 months to finish this book. It was my fault to blame only. The book is an easy read, it’s so descriptive. You understand and grow to love the personalities . You understand that in each group of gals there’s always one of each. The story starts just right , i loved it. I laughed, cried, got angry. Sometimes this life is beautiful and for others is short. When revert one places their set of problems onto the table, we will be quick to take our own back and be grateful for how small they are in comparison to others. Enjoy this book, sink it all in and understand that life is beautiful and we should appreciate and be grateful for our health every single day. Thank you Ellyn Bache for this beautiful story.

[Nicci Carrera · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's an art all right, when this author does it. Ellen Bache is my new gold standard. I give other books five stars for story, but this one had story and writing excellence. The characters are brilliantly drawn. My favorites are Iona and Julienne. Bache really gets in their heads and it isn't always pretty, which seems very real to me. Things we don't say to others are explored here on the page. There are complicated feelings involved when a neighbor gets fatally sick, all depending on the background of the people and the relationship. I was able to understand why all these characters did what they did and felt what they felt. It's not as sad as you think it would be.

[Lorna · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise seemed interesting, I wanted it to work. It kinda worked. But the dying woman, Paisley, was too saint-like, even with her transgressions. It comes close to working: I was glad for Julianne and Iona. That Julianne can embrace her gift, and that Iona allows herself to lean into the role of being a grandmother.
At the end of the book, the author tells that this is based on her experience in her own neighborhood. I think I would have appreciated a short story about her experience instead of this novel.

[Mary Jo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh my, I am very sad. I don't think I have ever given a book a one star rating. I just hate doing it because I cannot imagine how much hard work goes into writing and publishing a book. And I have to admit, I only got through one-third of the book before I gave up. I think the story idea was very good and I am not prudish by any means, but the sex scenes just didn't fit. Or maybe I just didn't expect them to be there. They just weren't needed. I really wanted to like this book :(

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pop Sugar Reading Challenge Prompt: A book about death or grief

This is a book about 4 women who have a close neighborhood friend dying of pancreatic cancer over 47 days. It's based on a true story. While nobody deals with death the same way, each woman does reflect and make changes in her own life based on losing a close friend.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book but hard for me as just spent last few months watching
a good friend die. This book was about four friends and neighbors who watch one of them fight and ultimately die of cancer. Dispute the sad theme it was a good story of friendship, caring,
love and friendship. Pretty accurate portrayal of the various reactions to terminal illness and death. Sad but a good read.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were WAY too many characters to keep track of. Five friends, their relationships and jobs, their kids and spouses and THEIR issues. Just an average storyline that was cluttered rather than having depth.

[Marci · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful Book I cried.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought provoking story.

[Jessie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Major disappointment. Found it to be long and boring without much of a point.

[Tonia Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful story about grief and finding a way to let go with as much grace as possible.

[Kelli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not finish, halfway through & I don't care what happens to any of the characters because I can't connect to them. I did enjoy some of the wording, it's poetic at times & overly so at others.

[Glenys · Rating 3 out of 5]

Five women, all vastly different characters., seemingly with little in common.
Each of Paisley's four female friends is changed by her illness and death in unexpected ways.
Deeply insightful.

[Janet · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Karen Villanueva · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. A little sad but very interesting how each woman had a different relationship with the main character. Each friendship, said a lot.

[Lyndee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love that the author drew from real life for this story. It made it relatable. Each character was believably human, flaws and all. Don’t forget the tissues.

[Jeanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book about neighborhood friends preparing for loss of one of their own to aggressive, untreatable cancer.

[Jennifer B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Couldn’t get into this book after 5 chapters.

[Gayle Vegter]

Didn’t care about the characters by page 75.

[Libbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

"A funeral is not a celebration, no matter who says it will be; it is a memorial to lives that have been changed forever, and changed in the direction of loss."