Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths

by Mardy Grothe

ox-y-mor-on-i-ca (OK-se-mor-ON-uh-ca) noun, Any variety of tantalizing, self-contradictory statements or observations that on the surface appear false or illogical, but at a deeper level are true, often profoundly true. See also oxymoron, paradox. "Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad."
Victor Hugo "To lead the people, walk behind them."
Lao-tzu "You'd be surprised how much it coststo look this cheap."
Dolly Parton You won't find the word "oxymoronica" in any dictionary (at least not yet) because Dr. Mardy Grothe introduces it to readers in this delightful collection of 1,400 of the most provocative quotations of all time. From ancient thinkers like Confucius, Aristotle, and Saint Augustine to great writers like Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and G. B. Shaw to modern social observers like Woody Allen and Lily Tomlin, Oxymoronica celebrates the power and beauty of paradoxical thinking. All areas of human activity are explored, including love, sex and romance, politics, the arts, the literary life, and, of course, marriage and family life. The wise and witty observations in this book are as highly entertaining as they are intellectually nourishing and are sure to grab the attention of language lovers everywhere.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Language, Reference, Writing, Philosophy, Words

256 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2004

Reviews

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I learned from this book that I really hate it when an author tells me what something is "really" saying. I don't like to be spoon-fed, apparently. I love quotation compilations and the absurd. I thought this book was written just for me! Turns out, it was written just to showcase how clever the author is. Sigh. I want to be the clever one. I want to read the collected quotations exemplifying the ideal of the oxymoron, and chuckle quietly, silently congratulating myself on my ability to "get it." This book denies me that secret little pleasure by telling me what the quote means before I get to read it. ARGH! Yes, Mr. Author, you are very smart. You are also an obsessive-compulsive, a kill-joy, and have some unresolved control issues. Let the quotes stand for themselves. Let the reader interpret on his or her own. I realize that means trusting your audience. But really, who's going to buy a book called Oxymoronica who isn't up to the challenge? I tried to read around your commentary, Mr. Author, but you structured the book in such a way as to make avoiding your opinion nigh impossible. I am currently considering cutting the book into pieces (if you knew me, you'd know just how profoundly upset I must be to consider harming a book) and reassembling just the quotation bits in order to enjoy the collected quotes without your enforced context. Shall I send the discarded slivers with your explanations back to you, so that you may warm yourself beside their unearthly glow of wisdom?
On the up side, this book gives me hope that I too may one day convince a publisher to showcase my bizarre collection of quotes, quips, and queries to sell to the unsuspecting public.

[Gabrielė Bužinskaitė · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love oxymorons. Spotting them in speeches or texts lights up something in my brain. However, I could tell this book wasn't written by a linguist very early on.

I sense the author doesn't see the differences between oxymoron, paradox, and irony.

For example, he quoted:

"I had to give up masochism; I was enjoying it too much."

That’s a paradox because, while contradictory, it holds deeper meaning.

Another example:

"I am an atheist, and I thank God for it."

While this sounds more oxymoronic, it's instead an irony with a humorous effect.

Finally, the example:

"I am deeply superficial" is one of the very few true oxymorons from the book.

I expected to read a collection of oxymoronic quotes, but the majority of them were paradoxical. Did I enjoy them still? Yes, paradoxes are cool, too. But I wanted my oxymorons!

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oxymoronica is essentially a collection of oxymoronic and paradoxical quotes throughout history as assembled by Dr. Mardy Grothe. Dividing the book and the collection into 14 separate entries (literature, politics, wit & wisdom, etc.), Grothe gives introductions to each category and giving examples to the part of the collection he is emphasizing before finished the last half of the chapter with quotes from various sources. Though Grothe tries to bring context and interest to each topical entry, it sometimes comes off as pompous. Overall the collection is pretty interesting, but it’s not the greatest read.

[Akhil Jain · Rating 4 out of 5]

My fav quotes (not a review):
-Page 2 |
"Who among us is not experienced something ugly in everything beautiful, something; true in everything false, something female in everything male, or, as King Claudius says in Shakespeare's Hamlet, "mirth in funeral" and "dirge in marriage"?"
-Page 3 |
"Even his ignorance is encyclopedic."
-Page 3 |
"Another example occurs in the Albert Camus observation: I love my country too much to be a nationalist."
-Page 6 |
"after the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon on September 11, 2001: A nation is only at peace when it's at war."
-Page 7 |
"Perhaps the only true dignity of man is his capacity to despise himself. GEORGE SANTAYANA"
-Page 7 |
"Katherine Mansfield: If you wish to live, you must first attend your own funeral."
-Page 8 |
"Gibbon advanced the same idea: I was never less alone than when by myself."
-Page 9 |
"Painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do."
-Page 9 |
"On the Road: Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything."
-Page 11 |
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on. SAMUEL GOLDWYN Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded. YOGI BBRRA, ON A POPULAR RESTAURANT"
-Page 13 |
"One martini is all right, two is two many, three is not enough."
-Page 15 |
"When I came home I expected a surprise and there was no surprise for me, so, of course, I was surprised."
-Page 18 |
"wish I were either rich enough or poor enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances."
-Page 18 |
"I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not."
-Page 18 |
"The fly that does not want to be swatted is safest if it sits on the fly-swatter."
-Page 19 |
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN"
-Page 24 |
"You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough."
My fav quotes (not a review):
"I think people who go to a psychiatrist ought to have their heads examined. JANE ACE Stay with me; I want to be alone. JOEY ADAMS When all else fails, read the instructions. AGNES ALLEN"
"There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them. GEORGE ORWELL"
"We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules. ALAN BENNETT"
"People would have more leisure time if it weren't for all the leisure-time activities that use it up."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
"I love mankind—it's people I can't stand."
"A life of ease is a difficult pursuit."
"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man."
"The devil, after all, is a fallen angel."
"The paradox of reality is that no image is as compelling as the one which exists only in the mind's eye."
"There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying."
"You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough. WILLIAM BLAKE"
"We are sure to be losers when we quarrel with ourselves; it is a civil war, and in all such contentions, triumphs are defeats."
"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it."
"Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable. OSCAR WILDE"
"What a man enjoys about a woman's clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them."
"In another paradox, love leads to both profound truth-telling and grand deceptions. While in the throes of love, people reveal things"
"Love is the source of every virtue in you and of every deed which deserves punishment. DANTE"
"To make a young couple love each other, it is only necessary to oppose and separate them. JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE"
"Personally I think if a woman hasn't met the right man by the time she's twenty-four, she may be lucky. DEBORAH KERR
"To be able to say how much you love is to love but little. PKTRARCH (FRANCESCO PETRARCA)"
"You can end love more easily than you can moderate it. SENECA"
"Sex is like money; only too much is enough. JOHN UPDIKE"
"The real paradox is that the men who make, materially, the biggest sacrifices for their women should do the least for them ideally and romantically."
"Mark Twain said it best in one of his most popular observations: My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
"Nobody knows how to manage a wife but a bachelor."
"Two important things to teach a child: to do and to do without."
"{79} I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man."
"An obedient wife commands her husband."
"The finest people marry the two sexes in their own person. RALPH WALDO EMERSON"
"We want our children to fit in and to stand out. We rarely address the conflict between these goals. ELLEN GOODMAN"
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
"I am determined my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it"
"I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over."
"The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous."
"Never have children, only grandchildren."
"To blow and swallow at the same moment is not easy."
"Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process. JOHN F. KENNEDY"
"If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of lawyers in the first place. CHARLES MONTAGU"
"Sincere diplomacy is no more possible than dry water or wooded iron. JOSEPH STALIN"
"Tragedy is if I cut my finger. Comedy is if I walk into an open sewer and die."
"If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life. GLENDA JACKSON"
"To study music, we must learn the rules. To create music, we must forget them."
"I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds. MARK TWAIN"
"Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it"
"Don't use no double negatives or "It ain't correct to say ain't.""
"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. ISAAC ASIMOV"
"Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first. JOSH"
"The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all."
"There are some occasions when a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest."
"War is a series of catastrophes which result in a victory. GEORGES CLEMENCEAU"
"Paper is always strongest at the perforations."
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgment of the force of truth."
"War is fear cloaked in courage."
"Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others."
"A journalist is stimulated by a deadline; he writes worse when he has time."
"Literature: proclaiming in front of everyone what one is careful to conceal from one's immediate circle."
"Friedrich Nietzsche wrote: The thought of suicide is a great consolation: with the help of it one has got through many a bad night."
"Once again she decided not to decide. She preferred being compelled into her decisions."
"Entertaining is one method of avoiding people."
"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us."
"One way of getting an idea of our fellow-countrymen's miseries is to go and look at their pleasures."
"When I grow up I want to be a little boy. JOSEPH HELLER, IN SOMETHING HAPPENED (l974)"
"He had felt like a man rushing to catch a train he was anxious to miss."
"Several excuses are always less convincing than one."
"I shall long to see the miseries of the world, since the sight of them is necessary to happiness."
"(1913) I would be content being a housewife if I could find the kind of man who wouldn't treat me like one."
"I think she must have been very strictly brought up, she's so desperately anxious to do the wrong thing correctly. SAKI"
"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money. SEN. EVERETT DIRKSEN, ON WASHINGTON, D.C. FISCAL POLICY"
"Democracy used to be a good thing, but it has now got into the wrong hands."

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author of this book, Mardy Grothe, deserves four and a half or five stars for his efforts to gather and present a wide variety of oxymorons in this collection. I appreciate that he introduced a new category of oxymoron at the beginning of each chapter and provided an in-depth analysis to some of the quotes. Then, he left the readers on the own for the remainder of each chapter, listing quotes organized alphabetically by author.

In the end, I decided to give the book 3 stars (maybe three and a half, almost four) because I got tired of oxymorons. Fourteen chapters seemed too many paradoxes to ponder. Overall, I did enjoy the collection. I wish I had had more patience and paced each chapter out over a longer period of time. I would recommend that anyone who plans to read this book consider reading the book in small doses, a few pages at a time.

Some oxymoron highlights for me are from the chapter on the human condition:

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better. - Sydney J. Harris

Only in true growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

My favorites from the chapter on literary life are:

We make up horrors to help cope with the real ones. - Stephen King

Write a nonfiction book, and be prepared for the legion of readers who are going to doubt your facts. But write a novel, and get ready for the world to assume that every word is true. - Barbara Kingsolver

One from international world literature might be my overall favorite:

Once again, she decided not to decide. She preferred being compelled into decisions.
- Lisa Alther, in Kinflicks (1975)

There are a few quotes on families and married life that I starred for future reference.

[Heather the Banjo Queen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great quote book, if you go in for quote books, which I do. I didn't get a chance to read all of it before I had to turn it back in to the library. It isn't really something you sit down and read like a novel, but it is fun to pick it up and peruse once in a while. A worthy reference. I love a good paradox, don't you?

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a clever little collection... once you get past the introduction. I wish Grothe had spent less time bragging about his intelligence and more page space with quotes. He has amassed a fun bunch of oxymora and paradoxical quotes but his pretentiousness is annoying and rampant throughout. Just read the emboldened witticisms and forget the rest!

[Ashok Rao · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are reasons why Dr Mardy Grothe is called Quotation Guru. This collection of paradoxical quotes will not only entertain you but would make you intellectually a better person. This book is too interesting to be boring.

[Chrisanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

These are my favorite types of pointless books. So easily skim-able and entertaining.

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

now if i could just remember some to quote on the proper occassion!

[Paul Triller]

A buffet for your brain cells.

[David Engel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite entertaining, informative and satisfying read.

[Sapiophial · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lots of good quotes, not too crazy 'bout the author.

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book in 2004, never read it, and recently found it buried in the back row on one of my book shelves. Finally got around to reading it. A fun, light-hearted read. Some of the quotes are familiar while there are plenty of new ones. Some make you laugh and others make you ponder. Here are some of my favorites:

- Never believe anything until it has been officially denied - Claud Cockburn

- Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. - Harry S. Truman

- In Utah . . . non-Mormons are theoretically subject to classification as Gentiles, which gave rise to the well-known remark that "Utah is the only place in the world where Jews are Gentiles." - John Gunther

- Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire

- The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement. - George Will

- All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened. - Ernest Hemingway

- A meaningless phrase repeated again and again begins to resemble truth. - Barbara Kingsolver

- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. - Church bulletin

- We find the man who stole the horse not guilty. - Anonymous jury foreman

- The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. - Oscar Wilde

[Travis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Why two stars? Let me answer a few other questions first.
Did I read this book cover to cover? No.
Am I counting this book on my unable-to-finish shelf? No.
Do I feel I can still review this book without reading all of it? Yes.

This book is what I think of as a “coffee table and toilet” book. It’s the kind of book you find either on somebody’s coffee table or in their bathroom. Either way, it serves the same function. This is a book you read a little bit when you’re trying to not think about what you’re doing. On a coffee table it’s something to read while the host is doing something in the other room. In the bathroom, well you can figure that one out. This is not a book you read cover to cover to glean the knowledge within. It is instead a book you sample periodically. Thus two stars.

[JZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I don't know what to say. He got off to a strong start with humor, sunk to sex, love, politics and children, and worse, sports, but had some fine things about arts, advice, and inadvertent wit and wisdom.
I knew several, and added a few to my favorites, but this is a great bathroom book for men.
Women are usually too busy to sit and read.


"I want to die young at a ripe old age."

Yes, I'm working at getting younger every day. This is one way to do that.

[Allyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun little book of oxymoronic quotations. Features mostly older quotations - the only downside to this is the chapters of sex, marriage and politics tend to be a bit outdated and in some instances a tad irritating to read. Overall enjoyed reading many witty remarks in the book.

One of my favorites:

"What is madness? To have erroneous perceptions and to reason correctly from them."
-Voltaire

[Terry · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this is not a volume that one would expect to read straight through, ten years is probably a bit longer than it should have lingered on my currently-reading list. It is occasionally very amusing and consistently worth a wry grin and a groan, but it is best taken in small doses. Two of my favorites:
"Never use a long word when a diminutive one will suffice." and "Eschew obfuscation."

[Wetdryvac · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this, and it's a linguistic and humor structure that should be exactly my speed. Unfortunately (for me) the writing style is of a sort I just can't stand. The actual examples are lovely, and for folks who enjoy the style, I expect it'll be perfect. Just... not for me.

[Selah Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

So funny...

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

An odd collection of quotes that contain contradicting ideas.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and enjoyable collection.

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty collection of quotes.

Grothe spends too much time explaining an oxymoron to the reader.

[Richard Crater · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy wit, wisdom, and a good wordsmith. This book has all of that and was enjoyable.

[Mark A.]

""

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grothe is a genius, and his book the work of a genius. Would buy again.

[Al Durgin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful fun for those who love the playful manipulations of the English language. Very much a pick-it-up and lay-it-down book.

[Rk · Rating 3 out of 5]

After a great deal of research, I stumbled upon a neat book on quotes.

Oxymoronica , a word coined by Dr Mardy Grothe , a psychologist, author of “Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you” , has come up with a book of same name, containing paradoxical wit and wisdom from greatest wordsmiths.

Oxymoronica is a superset and mixture of paradox, oxymoron, chiasmus, as author says. I felt it also encapsulates irony, sarcasm and many other things. Author goes on to define oxymoronicas to convey deeper meaning than they mean superficially. Before I began to read, I wondered about the existence of so many quotes to fill the fat book. But after finishing I now will have to search for normal quotes.

Paradox – A statement that looks false but is nonetheless true(Less is more OR The more the things change the more they remain same-Alphonse Karr)
Oxymoron – Two contradicting terms (pretty ugly)..Oxymoronica is not just contradicting terms, but contradicting ideas (Free love is too expensive-Delvin)
Chiasmus – Reversing the order of words.
First I dream my painting , then I paint my dream –Vincent van Gough

Infact may of all our favorite quotes (and e-mail signatures) could be categorized into one of these groups. Or they are our favorite only because they are oxymoronicas.

Neatly broken into 14 chapters depending on interesting basis like “ancient oxymoronica�?(The half is greater than the whole-Greek poet Hesiod) , “political oxymoronica�?(“Your greatest enemy is your greatest friend) “oxymoronic advice�?(Never take anybody’s advice- George Bernard Shaw), “oxymoronic insults(and few praises)�?(she never was really charming till she died-Terence), “oxymoronica on stage�? (I just want to be normally insane) and the ultimate “inadvertent oxymoronica�?(oxymoronic quotes by accident). Inadvertent oxymoronica, where most of Bush’s quotes are found, is an ideal last chapter of the book. And I stil have my reserves about author’s decision to place many quotes in chapters other than “inadvertent oxymoronica�? and vice –versa.

Most often , his definition of oxymoronica – any variety of tantalizing self-contradictory statements or observations that on the surface appear false /silly / illogical, but at a deeper level are true, often profoundly true – fits the quotes.

As suggested on the cover “as addictive as a bowl of peanuts�?, it made a fast read. If sometimes I would just laugh loudly at the quotes, other times I would take a break to understand and absorb the inner meaning.

If in an effort to find the oxymoronica meaning in normal quotes, if one succeeds, purpose served is only less (Because “less is more�?).

All my best thoughts were stolen by ancients- Emerson

[Zack Nelson · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Oxymoronica" by Mardy Grothe is a great collection oxymoronic quotes and statements. I really liked all of the quotes. Many of them made me think about them for a while, while some of them made me laugh out loud and tell my friends about them. Like the quote, "I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws." That was pretty funny. There were some things that I did not like about the book. One thing that the author says is that they are so intelligent that they coined this new term... that pretty much means the same thing as oxymoron. Also the author interrupts the great quotes, which often is nice to get a new perspective and it makes you think about the quote more, but the author frequently says what the quoted person "actually means" as if they are that person. I think what the author "actually means" is that this is what they interpret this statement as. Other then the little annoying things and the arrogance, I liked the layout and the way it reads. I definitely do not recommend this if you want a book that you can spend hours reading, but it is fun to pick it up every and read some funny oxymorons or find quotes that make you think deeply for a while. All in all an okay read, I especially recommend it to people who love quote books. (7th review, 256 pages)

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bookworms, meet your new favorite wordworm: Mardy Grothe. A psychologist by trade, this language lover culled about 1,400 oxymoronic phrases for "Oxymoronica" from his growing collection numbering near 10,000. Packaging them into chapters thematically makes for a satisfying reflection on the quotations of an eclectic mix of history's authors, philosophers, actors, and other memorable dynamos.

Read with a pencil in hand and unsparingly star your favorites. Even before I'd finished the book, I was already re-reading the very best quips, whether downright funny, alarmingly honest, or a refreshingly new perspective.

I hesitate to criticize because I love the culmination of these oxymorons into one accessible book, but I must say Grothe's talent lies in collecting and not in narrating. In each chapter's brief opening commentary, before he lists each quote alphabetically by speaker, he sets the stage, but it is a dry, dry stage. In his shortcoming, however, he lets a most brilliant and deserving light shine on the people whose clever observations have generated this gratifying feast of oxymorons.