A Passion for Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection

by Janice G. Raymond

Raymond, Janice G.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Philosophy, History, Lesbian, LGBT, Sociology

275 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

Janice G. Raymond is a longtime radical feminist activist who works to end violence against women and sexual exploitation, as well as the medical abuse of women. She is the author of five books, one edited volume, and multiple articles translated into several languages on issues ranging from violence against women, women’s health, feminist theory, lesbian feminism, and bio-medicine.

Reviews

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me happy.

...Even after I had to stop at several points, both because of its complexity and because I didn't think I'd have the emotional stamina to finish it.

But it's worth it because of the note it ends on.

Passionate women who are deeply invested in feminism, especially the radical take-no-prisoners brand that (rightfully) wants action and true change now, in action and in spirit, would understand that this can be hard to come by. And most feminist pieces won't leave us saying that change can't happen or that this is the way things are or will always have to be. But they will remind us that revolution is difficult and that our work is far from complete. And most of us realize, fundamentally, that much, if not all, of the work we accomplish will be for the next generation of girls and women; a better world for them to inherit. It's about creating a place where girls will not be hypersexualized (I'd personally like to see all of the sex industry disappear before I die) the way we were and where women will not have to make the same sacrifices in personal integrity (to have abortions on demand without shame or apology for one) and survive the kind of violence (and threat of) that we had to. It's hard because we want to live in that kind of world too. And that's what makes it easier to slip into escapism and consequently to fade into obscurity.

So this book gave me hope in the end. Janice Raymond understood that and had words for it. At the same time she reminds her readers of what it meant to live with both integrity and "worldliness." Without slipping into third wave, liberal, everything-i-do-is-feminist-because-i'm-feminist laziness, Raymond counsels us to be "thoughtful" in our actions and especially in the relationships we have with other women.

Because when we "see" one another, we find a way to not only survive in this world, but to live in it with genuine meaning and connection while remaining loyal to our feminist values and "selves."

I think everyone needs to read this book to understand that we don't have to be willfully ignorant or in obstinate denial to stay sane. Because, though we will inevitably be angry, it is possible to be happy, even in the face of the truth and all its implications.

[Hannah Wattangeri · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book which was thoughtful,informative and inspiring. Lots to think about and mull over. Highly recommend it

[Antje · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the most important books in my life, describes social, psychological and political aspects of female friendship

[Sarena · Rating 4 out of 5]

A somewhat dated but still fascinating analysis of the importance of female friendship and how it resists and challenges patriarchy, A Passion for Friends draws upon both historical and real-life examples to form its argument that men have always been threatened by female friendship and have thus discouraged it throughout the centuries.

[toots · Rating 4 out of 5]

contains some really integral ideas that really resonated with me, but i did become fatigued with it for some reason, almost like it became too didactic in its approach and in a way that could lead to doubt in oneself rather than trust in how they form and experience relationships. the spirit of positive/transformative potentiality is almost diminished by a kind of chiding tone at times.. and the last chapter i almost feel like Marilyn Frye put better in politics of reality. overall though really important and revelatory for me, especially the first few chapters

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ich habe viel aus dem Buch gelernt rund um starke Frauengemeinschaften, die es schon vor Jahrhunderten gab.
Frauenbindungen sind wichtig, werden aber leider in patrichalen Systemen untergaben zugunsten zu Beziehungen zu Männern – dem Vater, dem Mann. Die Frau tritt nur in Erscheinung in Bezug zum Mann als Ehefrau oder Mutter.

[Tamara Suttle · Rating 5 out of 5]

If the affection of and for other women resonates with you, I'm betting you will love this book. Author Janice G. Raymond has written a thoughful and well-researched classic exploring women's friendships and passions with each other. Grateful for Raymond's interests, philosophy, and attention to detail. Loved it!

[Aida · Rating 5 out of 5]

all women ought to read this...

[Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great deal of womanhood is fascinating and all the rest of it is even more fascinating than one can imagine.. I highly recommend this book...

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Way too wordy and drags in some parts. I disliked the chapter of critique on Freudian theory because I think discussing it gives it more importance than is actually warranted. It would be easier and more effective to just say, "He was wrong, about nearly everything," and just be done with it. If this were a condensed essay of her best points, it would be easily four stars without any need of disclaimer.

I will be using the term gyn/affective and gyn/affection for the rest of my life, so there’s that too.

[ger ci e na · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is so amazing I don't even have words to describe my feelings! I can only say that we urgently need more feminist theories about female friendship. I wish we had the portuguese translation so women in portuguese-speaking countries like mine could have access to this incredible work.

[Sonnie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kinda boring

[Hillary]

I think she's crazy.