The Autobiography of Methuselah

by John Kendrick Bangs

I, METHUSELAH George W. Methuselah, that is. I, the oldest man of all time, am setting down my story here. Not in hieroglyphics, mind you, for I am no draftsman and these chisels and rocks are an awkward medium. (And Dear Reader, I assure you my tale is not as heavy at its manuscript!) No, I have chosen English, because French, Spanish, and German haven't come into being yet. The reason why I didn't choose Esperanto is contained herein. Here, for your edification, are my memories of my great, great, great grandfather and grandmother Adam and his Madam. (Eve, that is!) The true story of Cain and Abel? Look no further! And you'll want to hear the story of how my father, Enoch, named me. As Granpa Adam might have said, it's a rib-tickler! You'll be treated to my poetry, the genuine tale of my son Noah and that damp business with the Ark and . . . But enough! You're not getting any younger! Read! Enjoy. already!

Genres: Humor, Fiction

108 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1909

About the author

John Kendrick Bangs was an American author and satirist, and the creator of modern Bangsian fantasy, the school of fantasy writing that sets the plot wholly or partially in the afterlife.

Reviews

[Sotiris Makrygiannis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light comedy was written a few centuries back. Is all about the tale of Methuselah, ancestor of Adam and Eve and describes the early life of humans. Good humour and respect for religion and customs. Nevertheless what I realized after reading this book is that from the 3 kids of Adam and Even, 2 bloodlines were totally wiped out during the Noah event (Cain and Abel) and only Seth bloodline survived until today. So the original "sins" were never redeemed...
1st "sin" was the Apple from Adam and Eve, 2nd "sin" was the murder of a brother (Cain and Abel) but the curse didn't stop with Seth bloodline. As you might recall, Noah (Seth bloodline) had 3 sons and he cursed one.....thus the tragedy is still ongoing.....surely this creation story is something between a comedy and tragedy at the same time.....

[Susan Ferguson · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing take on the life of Methuselah - humorous of course, with no relation to reality. The troubles caused him by his family make him almost despair - and he well knows he is the oldest man who ever lived, even back then. After all, children play with dinosaurs. Although he has a reason for their extinction which doesn’t mean they missed Noah’s boat……

[Slightly · Rating 2 out of 5]

kind of funny. not as good as houseboat on the river styx, but good. the book sort of looses steam after the first half. the last chapter is completely worthless. but i really enjoyed the chapters about adam and eve.

[Bud Russell · Rating 2 out of 5]

A slightly humorous diversion. An audio book to which I listened. I was happy when it was over.

[Tom James · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fictional account of Methuselah and his dealings with great great grandpa Adam, Branson Noah, and other antediluvian figures. Quite funny at times; other times, a bit of a groaner. Very much a book of its day, as it speaks of turn of the century issues such as women’s suffrage, “new thought” (Christian Science), invention of electricity, motor cars, etc. Some humour toward the end of the book reflects the racist attitudes of some in that day.

[Andrew Mossberg · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seems typical of the light humor of the period, but dated and more often than not doesn't quite hit the mark. The author was a prolific writer of similar works, as well as plays; and several of his stories were later adapted as teleplays. If you enjoy the lesser works of Bangs' friend Mark Twain, you'll feel at home with his works.

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

An enjoyable read, light satire.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Kendrick banks has a way of writing satires with Dry humor. Very clever Sometimes hilarious. The little jokes just keep coming.

[Tettey · Rating 4 out of 5]

i can't say i know why they say it, but they do say that you cannot know where you're going if you don't know where you've come from.

so unless you're a lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going mofo, you should take the time to read these carefully chiseled out words by Methusalah, your ancestor.

but for all you lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going-mofos who need an incentive, i put it to you that the first half of this book is some of the funniest shit you have or will ever read!

hop to it.

[jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a free book that I had never even heard of before this was hilarious. Old Testament Biblical satire is an acknowledged genre. Okay, this is the only book I know in that genre, unless you find Paradise Lost as hilarious as I found it...you probably didn't.
Anyway, Methuselah, the oldest man in the Bible tells his readers about how he got his name, a bit about his family, and muses on how long childhood lasted when the average human lived 300 years. If you've read Genesis and you have a love of satire, this is up your alley.

[for-much-deliberation ... · Rating 5 out of 5]

So Methuselah, that should be George W. Methuselah, writes his autobiography... With the likes of his relatives, Adam, Eve, Noah and the whole lot of them Bangs presents a rather humorous look into the life of the oldest man that ever lived...

[Jo Wun · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite humourous, made me smile. I imagined some sort of biblical Flintstones scene while reading it.

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

An enjoyable read, light satire.