The Next Best Book Club discussion
Non-Book Related Banter
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It's Not PMS, It's You - Relationship stories
Hi Lori! Can't wait to see everyone's comments... there is so much to discuss! Like who should fund the medical research into why men behave the way they do (HINT: It's definitely NOT the government)
Or the evolution of the Prince Albert in a can joke, and why he deserved it.
Or the fool-proof method I outline in the book on how to have a relationship that lasts forever and why it could kill you.
OK ladies... Let's get this party started!
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I am really looking forward to getting some he said - she said discussions going!!
Who's gonna take the first plunge??
My fiance doesn't usually say anything along these lines so I don't have anything too insane or crazy. But one day we were sitting with my parents and my mom and I were discussing/arguing about something (can't remember what), but we were going back and forth for about 10 minutes and couldn't make a decision. My dad finally got sick of it and yelled at us to make a decision already, and my fiance so eloquently said, "Well apparently decision-making only comes with the Y-chromosome". That of course led to a discussion about us ladies not being able to make decisions.
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In my household, it's the hubby who can't make a decision to save his life. And when he struggles to make up his mind, and solicits my opinion, will usually decide the opposite, which used to piss me off - until I realized I could use that to my advantage, and just tell the him opposite of what I really think.
Haha
First time I met my husband he said Why aren't you married yet? I thought what a stupid question. I responded back why aren't you. Thirty seven years later he still asks silly questions.
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"I don't remember your name, but I guess it doesn't really matter."
Loving the comments so far! Here's one of mine that actually made it into the book: The night I was in labor with our first child and we were finding out very quickly that what they told us in our very expensive Lamaze class was a BIG, FAT LIE (my vote for the official Lamaze motto: "Actually, all we really have is the breathing thing"), my husband's idea of commiserating with me and my pain was to tell me that he knew exactly what I was going through because he had been standing beside me for a long time and boy, did his feet hurt.
The last thing I remember before I took him down was the obstetrician muttering to a nurse, "Make sure there's a First Aid kit in here, because she's going to hurt him."
Keep 'em coming!
Ha! "And also, can you hurry up? I'm almost out of beer over here."
My water had broke late at night, and we had bought a new car, my husband didn't want to ruin the upholstery so we went in an old Carmengia. The car died twice on the freeway and in the driveway in front of the hospital. To his credit he did escort me in. The guard came and asked him to move the car as it was blocking the emergency entrance. I found out later we had run out of gas. Talk about fumes.
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When I was in labor with my first kid, and in loads of pain in the labor room, my dumb ass paramedic of a husband allowed two of his "crew" members into the labor room. Here I am, dying in pain, hunched over this retarded labor ball that the nurses insist I use, with these two paramedics trying to have a conversation with me.
I screamed at my husband to get them the F@$k out of there! What the hell was he thinking????
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That was said to me. I did not end up marrying that woman, although she seemed very nice. Oh, and that second thing was totally made up.I don't know what it is - stress makes you do crazy things? - but it seems like there's a remarkable number of women who have stories about their husbands making really bad decisions during labor.
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I shared these with my husband he was ROTFL.
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I wanted mine out of the room, the nurse made him leave and get some coffee. He was irritating me so bad. Deb your story was soooo funny.
Ah yes, Carol, that old strategy. "Be so annoying and ineffective that you're not asked to help anymore." We're born with that skill, like dogs automatically know how to look pathetic under the dinner table.
Here's your bone Alex, go bury it. (manically laughing)
Alex, don't worry. We love you and I am very impressed with your bravery for chiming in with such good lines.Hey, you guys are funny! Keep those stories coming, I wanna hear more!
Does anyone have any questions about the book itself?
Did you cull your fodder from personal experiences or from listening to others? It really sounds like a fun approach to women in general. To know us is to love us right?
Absolutely, Carol... Vive le difference! And that's why I made a strong attempt not to make this a male-bashing book. The title came from my editors, but this is observational humor, and personally I think both genders have their quirks. There's a lot to laugh about in general, and hopefully it's ultimately an affectionate look at both sides of the coin. I get my material from all over, and you're right: being a good listener is key. Any anecdote or conversation overheard can spark ideas for a story. Of course, if I'm using something where I need to identify the parties involved, I always get their permission. Some of the stuff in the book is personal, but I consider myself much more boring than the rest of the world.
One of my biggest humor-writing influences happens to be Dave Barry, and like Dave, I mostly do my research and carefully craft material that is both factual and verifiable.
Otherwise, I just make sh*t up. :)
Stop the wool gathering and go for it. What can they do , you wield more power than them.
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And by the way, what is it with men and gas? I mean, seriously.. how can anything that smells so horribly bad be funny to them?
And how is it that THEIR stench doesn't seem to bother them, but other men's 'gas' does?
LOL Judith that was priceless, you can come live with me.
Don't get discouraged, people! We have multiple copies to give away.But yeah, wow, Judith. Lifting a glass of courage in your honor.
Thank all of you for your support. I have lots more funny stories to tell. The laughs are what has kept our marriage strong.
Good for you .Keep them coming the first was the hardest.
Deb wrote: "Don't get discouraged, people! We have multiple copies to give away.But yeah, wow, Judith. Lifting a glass of courage in your honor."
Maybe I just skimmed over the details but honestly I did not realize there was a real prize. Don't worry Deb, even if I don't win I would like to buy your book to read.
That's very sweet, Judith, thank you! You gotta be in it to win it, though, and you took that very brave step.Keep the stories coming, and if your family gives you a hard time, consider logging in under an assumed name ;)
Deb wrote: "That's very sweet, Judith, thank you! You gotta be in it to win it, though, and you took that very brave step.Keep the stories coming, and if your family gives you a hard time, consider logging ..."
How about an alias of Non-Stepford Wife? Ha Ha
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Nothing you say or do here will be published - outside of this thread - so don't be afraid to let loose!
It all makes for really great discussion, doesnt it?
Not being US or Canadian resident, I can't enter a competition, but I do have something to share that I found funny that maybe you might as well. It's a pretty short story. Basically, one time I was sharing out two servings of food (don't remember exactly what it was, let's call it a muffin to get the visuals happening). I cut the muffin into two pieces and asked my husband whether he wanted the bigger half or the smaller half.
He looked at me in all seriousness and proceeded to explain to me that I wasn't making any sense because two halves, by definition, were the same size.
What a dear. I gave him the smaller half and now the size of halves is a running joke between us.
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My husband and I were lying in bed one afternoon. We had just spent a couple of hours in bed "doing it". He then brought up the subject of what would happen if I found out that he was cheating on me. I said "What". He said "Well I'd hope we could work things out". I said "Forget that . I would just cut it off".
Now that's a great idea! I'll have to search my memory to see what emerges. I've had crazy things said to me in many contexts, and it may be difficult to choose.
@Laura: That's what I like to call Quantifying rather than Qualifying. Men don't see the loving gesture behind offering him the "bigger" half. Their brains seem to just go right to the factual content of the gesture. :)@Karen: Oh, very nice! Timing is everything, doncha think? ;)
@Barbara: Hey, post 'em all! Context be damned! :)
Okay, here's a few.strangest comment from a guy - "these women of the '90s are very demanding!"
Strangest overheard comment - "Electroshock therapy ain't all it's cracked up to be."
Strangest comment from a judge - (Said about me as I sat in a courtroom and listened to testimony in a sexual abuse case) "Tell the woman in the blue suit to make her face less expressive. It disturbs us."
Back in the early '80s, a GF of mine had been dating for a few months. One day she turns to me with a slightly horrified look on her face. "Oh, crap!" she says. "I promised my friend who is a nurse that I would ask anyone I dated if they had herpes. Ummm, do you have herpes?"
@Quest1962: Ha! At least she remembered :)
@Barbara: Re: the comment from the judge: Anyone in an American courtroom who uses the royal 'we' to adjudicate should be disbarred immediately. Agree or disagree?
"I've always wanted a trophy." --said on Valentine's Day by then-boyfriend.
Deb wrote: "@Barbara: Re: the comment from the judge: Anyone in an American courtroom who uses the royal 'we' to adjudicate should be disbarred immediately. Agree or disagree?"Deb, Agree. Very creepy the "us" in that sentence.
Lucinda, thank God you pointed out that this boyfriend exists in the past tense. Lucky escape!
The Next Best Book Club
Books mentioned in this topic
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
It's a hilarious look at the differences between men and women, why we react the ways we do, and why everthing is not always tied to our "time of the month" or "being on the rag".
To enter the contest, and to get some men vs women discussion going, I want you to post the craziest thing a romantic partner has ever said to you! You can post your comment here, or over at my blog.
Here are the rules:
1. USA and Canadian residents only (sorry!)
2. To enter the contest, compose a short post detailing the craziest thing a romantic partner has ever said to you and leave it as a comment here, or over at the TNBBC blog (http://thenextbestbookblog.blogspot.c...). Entries will be accepted at both sites.
3. You must attach your email address to your entry if you are posting it on the blog, so that we can contact you if you win. If you have a goodreads account, and post your entry here, we will contact you via PM.
4. Deb Amlen will determine the 5 winners based on the best "craziest things".
5. Contest will close at Midnight on Saturday July 17th. Winners will be announced Sunday July 18th.
I cannot wait to see what you guys come up with, and what sort of debates those comments bring about. Feel free to comment on each others postings.. It's meant to be more than just a contest....
We will also be tweeting on the contest, and want you join us using #amlenpms as the hashtag on Twitter.
Let the crazy comments begin!!!