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Love Creeps

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At the age of thirty-two, Lynn Gallagher, a successful Manhattan gallery owner, suddenly finds herself wanting nothing. She has never before wanted nothing, and she misses wanting. No one around her wants nothing. She becomes envious of everyone who wants -- especially her stalker, Alan Morton, who wants her very badly. Because she envies Alan, Lynn decides to copy him. And that is why, thirty-seven minutes later, she starts stalking Roland Dupont.
Amanda Filipacchi's hilarious and provocative novel introduces us to a new kind of love triangle - in which passions are fluid, motives are dubious and the chance for a genuine connection is always breathing down your neck.

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

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About the author

Amanda Filipacchi

6 books119 followers
Amanda Filipacchi is the author of three previous novels, Nude Men, Vapor, and, most recently, Love Creeps. Her writing has appeared in Best American Humor and elsewhere. She lives in New York.

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5 stars
97 (19%)
4 stars
141 (28%)
3 stars
148 (30%)
2 stars
67 (13%)
1 star
38 (7%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
Profile Image for Lolly K Dandeneau.
1,928 reviews250 followers
July 28, 2014
Here is the thing, I first read Vapor by Filipacchi before I ever read Love Creeps or Nude Men. It joined my favorite book list, and one of the reasons is Amanda has unique stories. You can say anything you want, but you can't claim you have read the same thing somewhere else. In Love Creeps you have a stalker who adores a woman that decides, in order to revive feeling and passion in her own indifferent heart, to stalk someone else. Of course, her stalker gets a front row to her stalking, as he stalks her. When you dissect that idea, how can you not be interested? This becomes one entangled un-love story. You can hate the characters or pity them, either way- it's sickly funny. And the homeless therapist, I wonder if she dreams these wacky ideas. Either way, I am always pulled in. I was excited to learn she finally (those of us who are fans have been waiting for years) has a new novel coming out in February of 2015 (what's a few more months after years of waiting) called The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty. Not everyone gets her, but those readers that do will find novels to sink their teeth in. Her stories linger in my brain, and that can't be said of every novel I read.There is something quietly mad about her stories, and I mean that in a flattering way.
Profile Image for Kelly.
447 reviews248 followers
September 20, 2013
I'm still not sure if I liked this one or not. It was really, seriously weird, which I dig, but the characters were despicable and narcissistic, which is annoying. In fact, imagine Seinfeld casted with 4 Patrick Batemans as main characters. Which is to say, ultimately, I'm ambivalent about recommending this book to anyone...so, read at your own risk.
Profile Image for Laura Maas.
23 reviews16 followers
September 1, 2011
this was an impulse buy having never heard of it prior - made me laugh out loud continually throughout! i keep trying to tell my friends to read it but no one has yet to borrow it from me - but i would highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Gaele.
4,076 reviews84 followers
August 29, 2014
Probably my favorite of the three titles I have read from Filipacci’s pen, this love farce presents a nice slice of the characterization that is so typically hers. Her characters are over-the-top, obsessive and neurotic, with a heavy dose of navel-gazing involved in their often convoluted reasoning. It is not important, nor is it even necessary, to find empathy with or like her characters: but readers will find little nuggets of insight into behavior and quirks that are familiar in friends, family and even selves in her books.

In this book, Lynn is a 30 something gallery owner with a severe case of ennui. She has a stalker, Alan, who displays all of the characteristics that make her jealous –she wants to desire something or someone enough to get involved and act, she just can’t do it. Alan, for his part, is utterly convinced Lynn is for him, and his own actions and determination to win her are obsessive and constant.

To kick-start her desire, Lynn decides to focus on Roland, another not-quite-ordinary character with his own issues. And Lynn’s focus on Roland throws Alan into a tailspin as he can’t see the attraction. Add to this yet another psychologically challenging character in the form of Ray – a homeless psychologist who has decided that these 3 characters will be an amusing case study, before he too is sucked into the relationship dynamics and dysfunction and you have a twisted tale of obsession and assumption with a not-so-healthy dose of deficient self-awareness and upended beliefs in the meaning of love and you get this twisty tale.

Utterly unique, this writing isn’t for anyone, part Seinfeld episode, part train wreck and wholly amusing, the twists, turns and clever use of double entendre and puns highlight perspectives and approaches to characters and people that is both fresh and insightful. You have to take this book as it comes, try not to apply your own brand of logic, and let the author’s words and skill slowly build your understanding.

I received an eBook copy from the publisher for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
Profile Image for Blake Fraina.
Author 1 book46 followers
February 8, 2015
Love Creeps is a social satire that cleverly skewers everything from urban romance in the twenty-first century to obsessive-compulsive disorder, from twelve-step programs and the culture of victimhood to the curious inner-workings of social currency.

At the outset of the story, schlubby CPA Alan has been regularly stalking willowy NYC art dealer Lynn. Lynn has lost her zest for life and decides to imitate Alan’s ardent stalking behavior to reawaken her own desire. At random, she chooses Roland, an unpleasant French lawyer, as her victim. The three stalk each other around the city, while being observed by Ray, a disgraced psychologist who has been reduced to panhandling in the neighborhood of Lynn’s art gallery.

The direction of the obsessions changes several times over the course of the story, as does the see-sawing fortunes of the four main characters. Over and over, author Amanda Filipacchi demonstrates the hilariously counterintuitive nature of the modern mind - such as Roland’s being spurned by his stalker, Lynn, awakening his ardor or Lynn’s walking out on an important gallery opening, heightening the buzz as a result of her “mysterious” behavior or Alan’s delight at finding out he was the victim of childhood sexual molestation so that he has something to blame for his unhappiness. Ludicrous as these scenarios may seem, none is really so far from reality. Nothing is sacred – mental illness, addiction, depression, sexual misconduct, suicide, even murder. It’s all here and, in Filipacchi’s deft hands, funny as hell.

This is richly funny stuff. I read this on the train going to and from work each day and on many occasions, I had to hold myself back from laughing out loud.
Profile Image for Sanda.
421 reviews103 followers
May 11, 2023
Deeply unlikable characters. Original premise. Elements absurd wrapped in a beautiful writing style. This is what made me drawn to Amanda Filipacchi's books to begin with. This story is offbeat and weird and will not appeal to everyone but for those who appreciate satirical contemporary fiction this will be an interesting read.

Grateful to NetGalley and Open Road Integrated Media for gifting me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Profile Image for Katy.
116 reviews7 followers
October 16, 2014
I received a free copy of this novel through Goodreads giveaways

This book is hilarious, absurd, and surreal. I snorted, rolled my eyes, laughed out loud, groaned, and I absolutely did not want to put it down; in fact, I barely did, except to sleep. I also never once predicted what would happen next, which is always a real joy.

As with most books I receive for free, I went into this blind; I didn't read any reviews, and I skipped the back cover summary as well. (I would read all books this way, if I could afford it.) I did notice a blurb from Bret Easton Ellis, though, which piqued my interest. I did look over the cover, which I quite like.

The narrator in this novel is third-person omniscient, and the voice is disinterested, almost bored, with short, terse sentences. Without such a unique, intriguing plot, the voice might not have been effective, but in this case, it was. I enjoyed it. The voice simply laid everything bare for the reader, without unnecessary flourishes or additions. It wasn't exactly cold, but it was...dispassionate, maybe? Regardless, the narrator didn't become its own character in the story, which, in this case, I appreciated.
The characters themselves were almost always universally loathsome. Self-absorbed, for sure. Bizarre. Suffering from myriad undiagnosed mental issues. Just plain awful. But so intriguing. You were never quite rooting for any of them, and this novel is like a car crash of terrible people that you just can't look away from, and inside, you're hoping that the ambulances drive away slowly, with the lights off, because the people inside don't have a chance, they're already gone.
The situations these characters wind up in are so far removed from "normal"; they travel through bizarre, meander in absurd, and sometimes settle down in the downright surreal. They are what make up the enjoyment of this novel, and the utterly unlikable characters are the reason they work, along with the flat narrative tone. Without that, it would seem merely silly. Which, granted, it sometimes does, though not in a bad way. However, it goes beyond mere silliness. This is the first I've read of this author, and I can't wait to read her other works.


Brief plot intro/synopsis below, possible (light) spoilers.
Lynn owns an art gallery whose walls have hung bare for months. Not because there are no good artists, but because she cannot find it in herself to desire any art. She can't desire anything at all, in fact. One of her friends suggests she get an addiction, and then, after experiencing it herself, suggest that no, an addiction won't do it, she should get hit by a truck. That would make her appreciate life and desire things again. Instead, she looks out her window and sees Arthur, the man who has been stalking her; following her everywhere, sending her gifts and notes. She thinks he looks truly alive, and decides it's because he is filled with desire. She thinks, maybe, if she stalks someone, she can capture some of that desire.
Thirty-seven minutes later at the bakery, she picks a man she's seen around the neighborhood as her stalkee. His name is Roland. She forces herself to follow him. She sends him notes, copies of the ones her stalker sent her. She's determined to do everything her stalker does, because he looks so ALIVE.
Arthur, being completely in love with Lynn and completely devoted to his stalking, notices her stalking someone else. She follows Roland, he follows her following Roland. He is overcome with jealousy. The three of them walk, one after the other, through the city, each of them often pausing to give money to a homeless man. His name is Ray. He used to be a psychologist, but he was arrested and de-licensed after his curiosity disorder got the better of him. He uses all his willpower to stop himself from asking questions of these three people, but can't help himself from offering encouragements.
The following is the catalyst to the plot, more spoilery than the rest.
Profile Image for Betsy Robinson.
Author 11 books1,223 followers
June 22, 2015
Ingenious story, told almost like a koan or parable, populated by Keystone-Kop-like stalkers and stalkees, about how we only want what we can't have. Hence, the difficulties—death of desire—that arise when we (our ego self) have no rejection. Here's a snippet; Patricia, a gallery assistant, is talking to her boss, Lynn:
. . . Patricia asked, "But why would your desire be awakened by Roland not wanting you? Hasn't anyone not wanted you before?"

"Not in a while. Or at least not that I noticed. I haven't been rejected by anyone or anything in the past year or two."

"Lucky you."

"How can you say that after you've witnessed the ordeal I've suffered?" Lynn said, with a scandalized frown. "It's not lucky, especially for someone like me, who thrives on resistance. I've succeeded, perhaps too consistently, too well, at everything I've set out to do. I've gotten everything I've wanted."

"But what about when Roland started wanting you? Why didn't your desire disappear then?"

"Maybe because it just had to be reawakened, and once it's awake, it's awake."

"But what if it happens again, one day?"

"It will never happen again."

"How can you know?"

"Because I won't let it. I have a method I'll use."

"What is it?"

"To make sure I'm rejected on a regular basis."

"But what if you're not?"

"I'll make sure I am! I'll apply to clubs which would never, in a million years, have me as a member."


All our messy human neuroses, delusions, and fantasies are played out in this cartoon of a book. In fact, this is a neurosis fest. Something for everyone.

An interesting note: There is a reference to Salinger's story "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" which so surprised me that I reread the story. Although the way Filipacchi uses the story for a plot point has no true reference in Salinger's work, I was surprised and delighted to discover that many of her characters' habits were little homages to "Bananafish."

This book is a lot of fun. And despite the cartoon-like style, there's depth.

(Caveat: Per earlier review, Filipacchi's work is best enjoyed by people who easily live on a metaphorical level.)
755 reviews48 followers
August 8, 2015
Three singles living in New York City search for meaning and love. Desire first comes in the form of stalking, and this sets off an insane spiral of interest and disinterest that waxes and wanes between the three. Hilarity ensures.

Filipacchi is laugh-out-loud funny and is gaspingly outrageous. The characters all have silly modern problems that walk the line between frivilous and profound. Lynn, for example, believes she has a mental health issue - she doesn't want anything. Everyone she knows wants something - including her stalker. So she decides that maybe if she stalks someone, she will eventually desire them. So she selects a stranger off the street and begins to follow him. She is in turn followed by her stalker. Because she's new at this, she steals ideas from her stalker and in fact even forwards some of the stalking gifts, notes, ideas along. Her stalker notes that she is stalking and arranges a meet w/ him. Love itself eventually becomes a mental disorder - Filipacchi manages to place the neurosis of love, obsession, desire on the same level, sacred and profane.

This book is probably rated R, by the way.
Profile Image for val.
169 reviews13 followers
August 22, 2019
I don’t know why but this novel influenced me so much growing up. I haven’t read this in a while so a lot of the scenes still feel fresh to me and I was surprised that I’ve turned out to be so similar to the characters - Lynn, who’s lost her desire; Alan, who busies himself with self-care; Roland, who grapples with his rude, asshole impulses; among other things.

The weird, cartoonish, stilted dialogue and prose still tickle me up to this day - everything is done in a candid, mocking tone that I can’t help using when I find time to take up the pen. Even when discussing more taboo topics, they’re dealt with in the same mocking, logically illogical manner that I realized is how I think about similar topics as well (in my head, where I don’t have to walk on eggshells). There are layers and layers of meaning behind the seemingly banal interactions between characters and I am here for them.

I don’t get how this has such a low rating but whatever!!!
147 reviews5 followers
January 24, 2018
I went into this one with high hopes, and I was not disappointed. This book almost reminded me of A Midsummer Night's Dream, except that instead of the characters all mixed up and wanting different people, the characters in this book all want different things. Some want to feel desire, some want to be desired, some just want to be left alone. Some desire love, some crave sex, some want simply to be rejected by others. And these wishes are ever-changing and always quirky, clashing in hilarious ways. Unlike The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty there isn't any explicit surrealism, but certainly how the characters react to certain situations feels surreal.

Content note: stalking, child abuse, rape
Profile Image for Carrie.
435 reviews30 followers
November 5, 2007
I read this over Christmas vacation with my family. I thought it was great and read some of it out loud to my parents in the car. My dad thought it was drivel and told me he couldn't stand to listen anymore. I think my mom liked it. So did my aunt Patricia, who asked if she could borrow it (I gave her a copy for Christmas the next year).

From what I understand, this is the author's first book, so I'm hoping she writes another one soon... Or maybe she already has? Anyway, there are a lot of fun quirks to the characters (like becoming a stalker for fun).
Profile Image for Kiara Adir.
367 reviews1 follower
May 29, 2015
I love Amanda Filipacchi. Unique and absurd, I laughed out loud more than once
Profile Image for Mike Little.
228 reviews5 followers
November 23, 2017
I suppose that I'm not New York enough, though I love dark humor and odd twists in my reading and this book supposedly was loaded with both. But to me, too much of it came across as just off-the-cuff silliness and beyond contrived.
Sure, it's fiction, but there was way too much to swallow in the explanations of the characters' motivations. I don't like most fantasy or sci-fi because all too often the plot goes into an absolute dead-end trap and something miraculous happens to save the storyline. That's the sense I got from this tale and pretty much from the first chapter onward.
Obviously, lots of people liked the story. Not me, however. I think I'll go re-read some of the five-star reviews.
Profile Image for j.
25 reviews
May 20, 2023
Ch. Two: He always had a fresh supply of buttons, pennies, paper clips, and movie stubs in his pockets to avoid the discomfort of finding himself with nothing to lose.

Ch. Nine: “If you’re sure you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with me, can’t you at least wean me gradually, not so abruptly? Please. It’s too cruel otherwise.”

Ch. Eleven: And not wanting her back was strangely more painful than wanting her.

Ch. Twelve: “But unfortunately, what’s inside is almost always disappointing.”

Ch. Sixteen: “Sometimes, when you lose something, you find something more precious.”

Ch. Sixteen: “I can always go back to madness later, if sanity doesn’t keep me stable.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Devon Olivia.
22 reviews1 follower
March 28, 2018
I don’t even know what to say about this book. Love Creeps is the strangest story I’ve ever read. It kind of reads like a Wes Anderson film, the plot is just void enough to allow for over the top character development. The first 100 pages were hilarious, the last 50 seemed to fall off a bit. Filipacchi has an unsettling imagination and a knack for keeping you hooked despite asking yourself what the hell you’ve done by picking this title. Wow.
Profile Image for Kelly McGowan.
18 reviews5 followers
February 13, 2018
Weird

Weird book. Strange characters. But still a captivating storyline. Just one of those books I had to finish because it was so out there.
The characters are oddly likable and unlikable at the same time.
I can't quite explain this book much better than that. If you like weirdness then this is a good choice. 😳😗
Profile Image for Kimberlynn Nugent.
9 reviews
January 4, 2025
I had no clue where this book was going at any point, but it was one of those where it was so bad that I had to finish it.

Writing was meh for me, cluttered & needed editing. Characters were annoying & narcissistic, but Alan and Roland had good depth revealed later on. The plot felt very unrealistic but it was interesting.
Profile Image for J.
7 reviews6 followers
February 21, 2020
Surreal story of incompetent stalkers
Profile Image for Jennifer Spera.
46 reviews2 followers
March 7, 2023
It was ok, the humor was very dark and dry, but I struggled through the middle so docking a star
Profile Image for Vanessa Lee.
4 reviews
April 19, 2023
um ew wtf?! intrusive thoughts won in this book and wayyyyyy too much sex…spare yourself from this novel and save yourself time I’m so sorry
Profile Image for Jonny-Loves-ta-Read.
6 reviews1 follower
December 27, 2011
This book has a comically amusing plot, but many scenes in this book feel like filler. I appreciated the change of direction of the character’s obsessions (I’m not spoiling anything, not really anyways), and the interconnectedness of the characters lives despite the fact their interactions seem staged and plastic. This book is superficially charming, with a lead (Lynn) who is entertaining to watch even though she is hard to empathize with. I did want to see where the story lead the various characters and I was slightly curious to know how the book would end, after all the first few sentences do draw you in: “ Lynn stalked. She had taken up stalking for health reasons, but it was not paying off as handsomely as she had hoped. Lynn was not in poor physical health, but she was in rather poor mental health”.

The twists and turns of this book are amusing but not in the least exciting. The female characters are always palatable, despite them not always being as well developed as they could be. The male counterparts, however, are weird and one dimensional. It is as if Amanda Filipachi has tried to compensate for her bad descriptions of the inner psyche of males by making them superficially interesting through the method of creating them as ridiculous caricatures of men. I won’t go into exhaustive detail, but Roland goes from straight up New York asshole to pathetic and undesirable creep in a matter of a few chapters, without much reason why. Alan’s transformation (not giving anything away) is positive but not entirely complex enough to be fully human. Filipachi’s use of extreme archetypes may be useful for making Lynn appear more normal and likeable but unfortunately falls short of being believable.

Overall, what this book offers is a performance of pseudo interesting characters chasing each other around. The idea of a person beginning a regiment of “stalking” for health reasons is intriguing, but the book doesn’t promise the interesting psychological twistedness one might expect from such a promising start. This book is simply written but does have it’s amusing parts. My advice to all you book lovers is to wait until they make a movie out of the book and go to see it in theatres. Filipacchi has more bark than she does bite in this book, and I am afraid the ironies and dramatic scenes in this book would be better suited to a Hollywood film. (Or maybe a theatre production?)
Profile Image for Hanan.
42 reviews20 followers
November 23, 2015
MISSING - Hanan's utter desire to read. If found, feel free to douse Hanan with it. Reward: Aforementioned person promises to not stalk you after the ordeal.

A rather uneloquent (why isn't this a word again?) missing poster finally peeled off today thanks to Love Creeps. Damn, I owe you one Filipacchi! THIS WAS SO GOOD. My reconciliation with books doesn't necessarily mean I have reconciled with my vocabulary so please excuse this as i'm at a literal loss for words, a consistent nag ever since I fell into that atrocious, appalling, contemptuous reading slump- it was more of an uncomfortable fetal position - and for the life of me I could not get on my feet and jovially gallivant in my favorite book, let alone a new one.
I'm just ecstatic to have finally snapped out of it, so it may blur my judgement a teensy bit. Alright, to be completely honest, after a 100 pages or so I had detected a possible roadkill, you know that author who takes a loooong drive with her plot, speeds off under the bluest sky but then she runs a little low on gas, she's now driving way under the speed limit and somewhere in between her plot falls off her jeep but is tethered to its seat with a flimsy....something, and the author doesn't even realize that she's dragging it and roadkilling it. Yeah, THAT. I still do believe Love Creeps would have been better off a little shorter but I'm sure I would have been hungry for more (pretty sated at the moment). Even the abrupt ending - which would have otherwise gnawed at me with annoyance - isn't bothering me whatsoever, how could this possibly end anyway? (Judgement-blurring 99% through???) ugh I absolutely loved it, period. It was like watching my favorite quirky foreign film for the first time.
Profile Image for Bunnyhugger.
111 reviews1 follower
June 16, 2010
Lynn, a Manhattan art gallery owner, has a stalker, Alan. But he's the least of her problems. Far worse is the awareness that she has lost her desire. Nothing in life interests her any more and her gallery walls are empty. Her only desire is to desire - which frankly does not count. Galvanized by an off-hand comment from her assistant, she decides to find a person of her very own to stalk and plumps for the blandly handsome Roland. Alan is perturbed to find his beloved stalk-ee following another man and so stalks befriends Roland to find out just why he is so fascinating. These events occur early on in this ridiculous and very funny novel. I was chuckling out loud at its contrariness and cleverness. I'm only giving this 3 stars because some of the characters became so obnoxious that it was painful to read at times. Plus, I am ambivalent about the ending. However, I do recommend this as a fun read and will check out the author's other titles. I think the story would make a great movie and hope that somewhere in screen-writer land someone is putting together a treatment.
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