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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Librarian's Note: This is an alternate-cover edition for ISBN 0916856011 / 9780916856014
Originally published in 1952, this classic book is used by A.A. members and groups around the world. Bill W.'s 24 essays on the Steps and the Traditions discuss the principles by which A.A. members recover and by which the fellowship functions. The basic text clarifies the Steps which constitute the A.A. way of life and the Traditions, by which A.A. maintains its unity.
Originally published in 1952, this classic book is used by A.A. members and groups around the world. Bill W.'s 24 essays on the Steps and the Traditions discuss the principles by which A.A. members recover and by which the fellowship functions. The basic text clarifies the Steps which constitute the A.A. way of life and the Traditions, by which A.A. maintains its unity.
192 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1952
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 190 reviews
August 8, 2008
Beseeched by one of my clients to read it, I've found that this is surely one of the great spiritual texts. I would advise anyone to read it.
It does, however, contain some offensive throwbacks to the mid-twentieth century, when it was written, back when we were all the same, I guess. It's sexist -- all alcoholics are men, it seems, to the dismay of their wives. It's heterosexist (Oh, wait. That's not a throwback.).
Anyway, like the Bible and presumably many sacred texts, you have to ignore the bad in order to receive the good.
Just. Like. Drugs.
Just kidding.
It does, however, contain some offensive throwbacks to the mid-twentieth century, when it was written, back when we were all the same, I guess. It's sexist -- all alcoholics are men, it seems, to the dismay of their wives. It's heterosexist (Oh, wait. That's not a throwback.).
Anyway, like the Bible and presumably many sacred texts, you have to ignore the bad in order to receive the good.
Just. Like. Drugs.
Just kidding.
November 26, 2024
My sobriety date: April 21st 2007
April 5, 2022
In an attempt to understand alcoholism and the AA program, I read Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Here are my takeaways:
On page 24, it is suggested that every A.A. member must hit bottom first and that this is the core, underlying principle of alcoholics: thinking you're smarter or superior and being defiant. "...most alcoholics are childish, emotionally sensitive and grandiose...prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties" (123), and as such, this remains the constant theme of the book: "Without a willing and persistent effort ... there can be little sobriety or contentment..." (43). There is more about willingness and persistent effort and complete honesty on pages 40 and 63.
Other than step one, there is no perfection, no black and white. "Nearly every one of us had wished to do great good, perform great deeds and embody great ideas. We are all perfectionists who, failing perfection, have gone to the other extreme and settled for the bottle and blackout" (156).
"Alcoholics are certainly all-or-nothing people" (161). So then, steps 2-12 are something to be pursued forever; they are never finished. They are also mere suggestions.
Why do alcoholics drink? "We have drunk to drown feelings of fear, frustration and depression. We have drunk to escape the guilt of passions and then have drunk again to make more passions possible (44). But also, "...character defects ... have been the primary cause of his drinking and his failure at life (50)." "Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as a plague. We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building [is what is necessary]" (74).
Coming back to the consistent theme, an alcoholic must stop rebelling (72) as "...serious character flaws made problem drinkers of us in the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again" (73).
Alcoholics suffer a "total inability to form a true partnership with another human being” (53).
So then the focus remains on personal development. "...Character building and spiritual values had to come first" (71) and realizing that "we had taken satisfactions to be the end and aim of life" (71), the focus is on honesty and morality. "...honesty, tolerance and true love ... the daily basis of living" (71).
On page 51 are powerful questions, including: "Did I try to cover up feelings of inadequacy by bluffing, cheating, lying or evading responsibility? ... Did I recklessly borrow money caring little whether it was repaid or not?"
Step 10 reminded me of mindfulness, as alcoholics are asked "can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?" (88). "Many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal."
"The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes" (91).
Alcoholics in A.A. work on their development of restraint, self-control, true tolerance, real love, and "courtesy, kindness, justice and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony" (91).
Alcoholics are aiming "daily to spot, admit, and correct flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. (95). Recommended is the persistent use of meditation and prayer so that “...the satisfaction of instincts cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives" (114).
On page 24, it is suggested that every A.A. member must hit bottom first and that this is the core, underlying principle of alcoholics: thinking you're smarter or superior and being defiant. "...most alcoholics are childish, emotionally sensitive and grandiose...prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties" (123), and as such, this remains the constant theme of the book: "Without a willing and persistent effort ... there can be little sobriety or contentment..." (43). There is more about willingness and persistent effort and complete honesty on pages 40 and 63.
Other than step one, there is no perfection, no black and white. "Nearly every one of us had wished to do great good, perform great deeds and embody great ideas. We are all perfectionists who, failing perfection, have gone to the other extreme and settled for the bottle and blackout" (156).
"Alcoholics are certainly all-or-nothing people" (161). So then, steps 2-12 are something to be pursued forever; they are never finished. They are also mere suggestions.
Why do alcoholics drink? "We have drunk to drown feelings of fear, frustration and depression. We have drunk to escape the guilt of passions and then have drunk again to make more passions possible (44). But also, "...character defects ... have been the primary cause of his drinking and his failure at life (50)." "Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as a plague. We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building [is what is necessary]" (74).
Coming back to the consistent theme, an alcoholic must stop rebelling (72) as "...serious character flaws made problem drinkers of us in the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again" (73).
Alcoholics suffer a "total inability to form a true partnership with another human being” (53).
So then the focus remains on personal development. "...Character building and spiritual values had to come first" (71) and realizing that "we had taken satisfactions to be the end and aim of life" (71), the focus is on honesty and morality. "...honesty, tolerance and true love ... the daily basis of living" (71).
On page 51 are powerful questions, including: "Did I try to cover up feelings of inadequacy by bluffing, cheating, lying or evading responsibility? ... Did I recklessly borrow money caring little whether it was repaid or not?"
Step 10 reminded me of mindfulness, as alcoholics are asked "can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?" (88). "Many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal."
"The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes" (91).
Alcoholics in A.A. work on their development of restraint, self-control, true tolerance, real love, and "courtesy, kindness, justice and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony" (91).
Alcoholics are aiming "daily to spot, admit, and correct flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. (95). Recommended is the persistent use of meditation and prayer so that “...the satisfaction of instincts cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives" (114).
January 23, 2015
I really struggled with how to rate the "12 & 12." I've been sober for over 9 years now, and I stopped being a semi-regular AA probably 5 years ago. (And I was NEVER an "AA Nazi" at all. I never officially did all the Steps, and I'm pretty sure I've never even read the ENTIRE Big Book.) BUT, after I had been sober for 9 months on my own and went to my first meeting out of just a desperation to be around SOMEONE who might understand all the emotions I was going through, it meant so much to be able to share my sobriety and my struggles with other sober and struggling people. Having the Big Book and the "12 & 12" to pore over AT THAT TIME absolutely made a difference, and I will always treasure AA. However, I never could get totally comfortable with the god part of the program even then, and I have grown TOTALLY beyond all of that now. In fact, I know now that AA is no better at getting and keeping people sober than just quitting cold-turkey or any other recovery program. So, with my rating I tried to balance the importance of AA in my early recovery with the criticism of it that I eventually developed.
February 28, 2008
A great and must-read adjunct to the Big Book, Alcoholic Anonymous. Whereas that was written very early in the life of the A.A. movement, when no one had more than a handful of years of experience of sober life, this was written with the benefit of much more insight and spiritual growth. This is a very practical how-to guide to applying the principles of the 12 Steps in one's personal life, and to applying the 12 Traditions to the thinking and decisions of groups. Both have proven themselves as effective models, and this is a good guide to everyday life for everyone, not just for recovering alcoholics.
February 20, 2021
For everyone
I am not an Alcoholic but I found much of what I read here to be useful in many parts of my life. From taking a moral inventory of those I may have harmed, to making amends, to the practices of prayer, humility and serenity. Wise words here that everyone should ponder. I know I'll read this again.
I am not an Alcoholic but I found much of what I read here to be useful in many parts of my life. From taking a moral inventory of those I may have harmed, to making amends, to the practices of prayer, humility and serenity. Wise words here that everyone should ponder. I know I'll read this again.
November 1, 2018
Still read today!! Fabulous way of life!!!
May 23, 2025
حتی اگر به "نیرویی برتر" باور نداشته باشی، نمیتونی منکر این بشی که سقوط، اعتراف، و بازسازی، یک الگوی انسانی عمیقه. دوازده قدم و دوازده سنت از همون جنس تجربههاییست که از دل تاریکی میاد و با صداقت و خطا، راهی باز میکنه؛ نه با معجزه، نه با وعدههای تهی، بلکه با زانو زدنِ کامل در برابر چیزی که ویرانت کرده.
برای کسی که روزگاری توی جلسات AA نشسته، با چشمهای خیس یا مشتهای گرهکرده، این کتاب صرفاً یک متن نیست؛ یک یادگار زندهست. روایت مسیری که نه فقط برای ترک ماده، بلکه برای دیدن خود، بریدن از توهم کنترل، و یاد گرفتن فروتنیست. زبانش ساده است، اما سنگینه. چون از رنج و رسوایی میاد، از اعترافهایی که توی تنهایی و خجالت گفته شدن، از آدمهایی که یاد گرفتن بین تسلیم و بازسازی، مرزی وجود داره که اسمش زندگیه.
اما این متن، برای یک آتئیست، یا کسی که با مفاهیم خدا، گناه، و تسلیم غریبهست، میتونه بهشدت پرچالش باشه. ارجاعهای مکرر به نیرویی بالاتر، به نوعی اعتماد به طرحی معنوی، ممکنه نهتنها کارکرد نداشته باشه، بلکه بازدارنده باشه. با این حال، حتی در چنین موقعیتی، چیزی درون این قدمها هست که فراتر از باور مذهبیه: مفهوم مسئولیتپذیری، جبران گذشته، خودکاوی، خدمت، و پیوستن به یک جمع انسانی.
دوازده قدم و دوازده سنت کتابیست که بیش از آنکه فقط درباره ترک الکل یا مواد باشد، درباره بازسازی انسان است. انسانِ شکسته، گمشده، تنها و بریده از خودش. بیل ویلسون، در تلفیقی از تجربههای شخصی و بینش جمعی گروه AA، مدلی ارائه میدهد که طی آن فرد نهتنها با رفتار مخرب خود روبهرو میشود، بلکه به سفری درونی برای شناخت ضعفها، اعتراف، رهایی، و دوباره ساختن خود پا میگذارد.
این دوازده قدم، نوعی بازگشت به خویشتناند. از پذیرش ناتوانی، تا ایمان به نیرویی فراتر از خود، تا اعتراف و جبران گذشته و خدمت به دیگران؛ گویی هر قدم، بابیست به سوی صداقت، فروتنی، و همدلی. سنتها هم ستونهای اخلاقی این ساختارند؛ تلاشی برای حفظ یکپارچگی جمعی، دوری از قدرتطلبی، و اولویت دادن به تجربه جمعی بهجای فردگرایی افراطی.
زبان کتاب، ساده و صمیمیست؛ بیادعا اما عمیق. نه چون آموزهای خشک و نظری، بلکه چون صدایی از دل تجربه و رنج. کتابیست که از دلِ زخمها و اعترافات واقعی برخاسته و همین صداقت عریانش است که به دل مینشیند.
برای کسی که در تاریکیِ اعتیاد دستوپا میزند، این کتاب میتواند نوری باشد؛ نه چون راهحل نهایی را دارد، بلکه چون راهی را پیشنهاد میدهد که با دیگران پیموده شده، افتادن و برخاستن داشته، و امید را به شکل عمل، نه حرف، به خواننده میآموزد.
این کتاب در نهایت درباره بازسازی انسانه؛ نه به سبک درمانهای آکادمیک، بلکه از طریق مشارکت در رنج و بازگویی تجربه. در دنیایی که اعتیاد، تنهایی، و انکار به سادگی زندگیها رو میبلعه، این متن یادآور یک حقیقت خام و درخشانه: هیچکس تنها نمیتونه، اما میتونه از نقطهٔ صفر، از ویرانی، چیزی بسازه که اسمش نجاته؛ حتی اگه اسم دیگهای براش بذاره.
برای کسی که روزگاری توی جلسات AA نشسته، با چشمهای خیس یا مشتهای گرهکرده، این کتاب صرفاً یک متن نیست؛ یک یادگار زندهست. روایت مسیری که نه فقط برای ترک ماده، بلکه برای دیدن خود، بریدن از توهم کنترل، و یاد گرفتن فروتنیست. زبانش ساده است، اما سنگینه. چون از رنج و رسوایی میاد، از اعترافهایی که توی تنهایی و خجالت گفته شدن، از آدمهایی که یاد گرفتن بین تسلیم و بازسازی، مرزی وجود داره که اسمش زندگیه.
اما این متن، برای یک آتئیست، یا کسی که با مفاهیم خدا، گناه، و تسلیم غریبهست، میتونه بهشدت پرچالش باشه. ارجاعهای مکرر به نیرویی بالاتر، به نوعی اعتماد به طرحی معنوی، ممکنه نهتنها کارکرد نداشته باشه، بلکه بازدارنده باشه. با این حال، حتی در چنین موقعیتی، چیزی درون این قدمها هست که فراتر از باور مذهبیه: مفهوم مسئولیتپذیری، جبران گذشته، خودکاوی، خدمت، و پیوستن به یک جمع انسانی.
دوازده قدم و دوازده سنت کتابیست که بیش از آنکه فقط درباره ترک الکل یا مواد باشد، درباره بازسازی انسان است. انسانِ شکسته، گمشده، تنها و بریده از خودش. بیل ویلسون، در تلفیقی از تجربههای شخصی و بینش جمعی گروه AA، مدلی ارائه میدهد که طی آن فرد نهتنها با رفتار مخرب خود روبهرو میشود، بلکه به سفری درونی برای شناخت ضعفها، اعتراف، رهایی، و دوباره ساختن خود پا میگذارد.
این دوازده قدم، نوعی بازگشت به خویشتناند. از پذیرش ناتوانی، تا ایمان به نیرویی فراتر از خود، تا اعتراف و جبران گذشته و خدمت به دیگران؛ گویی هر قدم، بابیست به سوی صداقت، فروتنی، و همدلی. سنتها هم ستونهای اخلاقی این ساختارند؛ تلاشی برای حفظ یکپارچگی جمعی، دوری از قدرتطلبی، و اولویت دادن به تجربه جمعی بهجای فردگرایی افراطی.
زبان کتاب، ساده و صمیمیست؛ بیادعا اما عمیق. نه چون آموزهای خشک و نظری، بلکه چون صدایی از دل تجربه و رنج. کتابیست که از دلِ زخمها و اعترافات واقعی برخاسته و همین صداقت عریانش است که به دل مینشیند.
برای کسی که در تاریکیِ اعتیاد دستوپا میزند، این کتاب میتواند نوری باشد؛ نه چون راهحل نهایی را دارد، بلکه چون راهی را پیشنهاد میدهد که با دیگران پیموده شده، افتادن و برخاستن داشته، و امید را به شکل عمل، نه حرف، به خواننده میآموزد.
این کتاب در نهایت درباره بازسازی انسانه؛ نه به سبک درمانهای آکادمیک، بلکه از طریق مشارکت در رنج و بازگویی تجربه. در دنیایی که اعتیاد، تنهایی، و انکار به سادگی زندگیها رو میبلعه، این متن یادآور یک حقیقت خام و درخشانه: هیچکس تنها نمیتونه، اما میتونه از نقطهٔ صفر، از ویرانی، چیزی بسازه که اسمش نجاته؛ حتی اگه اسم دیگهای براش بذاره.
July 22, 2016
What's interesting about this book is that it poses a manual to a general reader about how to center one's self. To maintain humility and discipline (which appears to be the same thing, in different ways). To a great degree the book presses urgency and the need for one to come to an understanding of reliance. In order to be good we must be reminded of how bad we are; not so that we give up trying, but so that we always have a ways to go. Perhaps this is the lesson of religion here, that one should always strive for the good in us, and around us, never to take that striving as a sign of good or that others are not good because they do not do as we do.
July 28, 2014
foundation of recovery. Love that its on my kindle....
not a huge exciting read, but I certainly have used it recently. It is part of some basic literature that is the foundation for a 12 step recovery program for personal growth, and self accountability. Its primary purpose is to help the person in recovery stay sober, but the 12 steps are so much more than that. They will help you learn about yourself, and grow in ways you would never imagine. The best part is its free!! All that is required is you WANT it.
not a huge exciting read, but I certainly have used it recently. It is part of some basic literature that is the foundation for a 12 step recovery program for personal growth, and self accountability. Its primary purpose is to help the person in recovery stay sober, but the 12 steps are so much more than that. They will help you learn about yourself, and grow in ways you would never imagine. The best part is its free!! All that is required is you WANT it.
March 13, 2019
Honestly, this may be the most important book written in the English language. When it comes to changing people's lives, giving hope to the hopeless, and giving a clear plan to the lost, only the bible (not written in English originally) compares.
Commonly thought of as the 12 steps to sobriety, this book applies to everyone who realizes they have besetting sins. It also provides a clear pathway to sanctification: admit your helplessness, call out to God, be willing to change, undergo a rigorous moral inventory, confess that inventory to God and another person, be willing to be entirely changed, ask God to cleanse us of all these faults, make a list of everyone we have harmed, make direct amends, continue to take inventory and confess, improve our relationship to God through prayer and meditation, share the good news.
If you don't believe you need to take those steps, you do not understand yourself. If you don't think those steps are biblical, you don't understand Christianity.
I heartily recommend this book to everyone who believes they need to change.
Some Quotes:
People driven by pride blind themselves to their liabilities.
Only when we know we are able to receive forgiveness, will we be able to give it.
Humility = clear recognition of who and what we really are, together with a sincere attempt to become what we could be
We must recognize that we exult in some of our defects. We really love them.
Self-righteous anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way, we actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us, it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority.
Confession and repentance are the beginning of the end of our isolation from God and others.
We look for progress not perfection.
All people including ourselves are to some degree emotionally ill and frequently wrong.
Pain is the touchstone of all Spiritual progress
True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.
Commonly thought of as the 12 steps to sobriety, this book applies to everyone who realizes they have besetting sins. It also provides a clear pathway to sanctification: admit your helplessness, call out to God, be willing to change, undergo a rigorous moral inventory, confess that inventory to God and another person, be willing to be entirely changed, ask God to cleanse us of all these faults, make a list of everyone we have harmed, make direct amends, continue to take inventory and confess, improve our relationship to God through prayer and meditation, share the good news.
If you don't believe you need to take those steps, you do not understand yourself. If you don't think those steps are biblical, you don't understand Christianity.
I heartily recommend this book to everyone who believes they need to change.
Some Quotes:
People driven by pride blind themselves to their liabilities.
Only when we know we are able to receive forgiveness, will we be able to give it.
Humility = clear recognition of who and what we really are, together with a sincere attempt to become what we could be
We must recognize that we exult in some of our defects. We really love them.
Self-righteous anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way, we actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us, it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority.
Confession and repentance are the beginning of the end of our isolation from God and others.
We look for progress not perfection.
All people including ourselves are to some degree emotionally ill and frequently wrong.
Pain is the touchstone of all Spiritual progress
True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.
February 15, 2025
Blown away by this book.
The level of experience and wisdom, the tested understanding of human psychology, so well shown by crystal clear attention to detail exploring arguments and counter arguments.
Regardless of your stance on alcohol, god, or any of the other topics which may not appeal to you, it's a masterclass in persuasion and absolutely knows itself.
If you are or know someone who struggles with alcohol it's a must read.
I will definitely go through the twelve steps at my own pace even though alcohol is not my addiction, I have no doubt of the transformative power of following the steps as they're laid out.
This book more than any other illustrates the true power of humility for personal transformation.
A must read if you have any compulsive or addictive behaviours you want to overcome.
The level of experience and wisdom, the tested understanding of human psychology, so well shown by crystal clear attention to detail exploring arguments and counter arguments.
Regardless of your stance on alcohol, god, or any of the other topics which may not appeal to you, it's a masterclass in persuasion and absolutely knows itself.
If you are or know someone who struggles with alcohol it's a must read.
I will definitely go through the twelve steps at my own pace even though alcohol is not my addiction, I have no doubt of the transformative power of following the steps as they're laid out.
This book more than any other illustrates the true power of humility for personal transformation.
A must read if you have any compulsive or addictive behaviours you want to overcome.
Read
February 18, 2022sober
August 20, 2024
Healing.
Wise.
Nothing short of a miracle.
5/5 stars ⭐️
Wise.
Nothing short of a miracle.
5/5 stars ⭐️
December 12, 2024
this might very well be one of the best books on discipleship i’ve read
December 13, 2018
I don't drink or abuse substances but, as my 6th grade Sunday School class pointed out to me, I might be an alcoholic but as I don't drink, I can't know. What wise children.
This is a wonderful faith journey. There is much to take from this book.
I wonder if a person, such as I, worked the steps what it would produce. Goodness knows, I have been self centered, cruel and problematic to myself and others. I'm not brave enough to do so myself, at this time. Nor am I certain it would be beneficial but I wonder.
This book gives wonderful insight to our friends who are suffering under addiction.
This is a wonderful faith journey. There is much to take from this book.
I wonder if a person, such as I, worked the steps what it would produce. Goodness knows, I have been self centered, cruel and problematic to myself and others. I'm not brave enough to do so myself, at this time. Nor am I certain it would be beneficial but I wonder.
This book gives wonderful insight to our friends who are suffering under addiction.
December 4, 2019
Always reading.
January 25, 2016
I've read this book in meetings and I read it to myself, just to go through it once sequentially in the beginning to help me to understand the recovery program of AA. Only 5-10% of the people who go to meetings end up being sober--which to me is a fantastic success rate, and makes me worry about the problem of addiction. It's not the only group or method of recovery. Each group is an autonomous unit and is self supporting. You can't do studies about it, because it's anonymous, but research has confirmed some of the results. It takes 90 days for the brain to begin to reset back to the sober brain, and they have the saying, "90 meetings in 90 days." In Chasing The Scream they talk about the social aspect of recovery instead of the hijacked mind model. There have been articles in Atlantic and other journals about AA not being the only recovery program and not being scientific. Never said it was. In the comments of the Atlantic article, lots of people whined about negative experiences with a sponsor. Get a different sponsor, you still have to think, you don't suspend your thinking. Anyway, after the big book, this is perhaps the second book to read, and it's smaller. It's good to go through it systematically instead of catch as catch can at meetings, in my opinion. That's the model, you share your experience, strength and hope, and it's by attraction not promotion. And humility is very important, that's why it's anonymous. It's a society with a singleness of purpose: to be sober.
January 13, 2008
These essays where written 15 years after Bill Wilson wrote Alcoholics Anonymous. There's a tremndous amount of insight into human behavior her, truly a treasure trove for anyone interested in the human mind. the essays on the traditions are also an interesting proposal for an anarcistic governing system that actually has proven pretty successful. A system that treasures personal independence, and de-centralized local governing bodies.
November 26, 2016
Helpful book and can help you sort out your life by following the tried and true principles (for recovering alcoholics) which guide you through living honestly, with integrity, using prayer and meditation to find peace and calm yourself, living unselfishly, letting go of resentments, and facing an uncertain future with dignity.
June 6, 2020
Everyone can benefit from such a process. How interesting It has been designed for one specific addiction, and yet, provides deep wisdom and psychology that applies to everyone.
It was designed to overcome one of the most difficult, seemingly impossible addiction. That's why it digs so deep in the human psyche.
Simplistic approach like "You want to forget your past", or "to fill your life with something else" or "your feel empty inside" only scratches the surface and is largely insufficient.
I also find it fascinating that a person need to wait to reach the very bottom before to react and do what it takes.
Most people would start this process faithfully only at the face of death.
What fascinates me also is that people just won't do that would save them. For example, it sounds paradoxical to hold on pride if it's what makes you miserable.
Here are my (long) take aways:
Step 1: Recognizing we reached the very bottom. Admitting defeat is painful. It humbles you.
Step 2: We can't make it alone. Build your faith in a greater power. With a scientific approach, try it before to deny it. What you tried so far didn't work anyway. On the contrary, this method bear fruits. Be open minded. You thought you could handle your life with your intelligence alone. It's a nice asset only if humility comes first. True humility and an open mind lead to faith.
Step 3: Turn your will and life to God. It might look impossible for an atheist. Our ego also fights it. All it takes is to try. Paradoxically, the more you are willing to depend on that external power, the more independent you become, like electricity. When your will conforms with God's, everything changes. Your whole trouble has been the misuse of willpower. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
Step 4: A fearless moral inventory of yourself.
Instincts are necessary for our survival, but excess can lead to malfunction. They subtly drive us and rule our lives. Desire for sex, material possessions, security, becoming important.
Discovering our emotional problems is a move toward their correction.
If you become dependent on your possessions, you become nothing when they're gone, and afraid the whole time until it happens.
If you impose your pursuit of wealth on others, then anger, jealousy, and revenge are likely to be aroused.
Addiction came handy to drown the feeling of fear, frustration, depression and replace it with passion.
We find excuses to hide our defects, and justify our addiction. Thinking everyone and everything has to change but ourselves.
We are beating ourselves with anger intending to use it on others.
Opening our eyes is painful and humiliating.
Seven Deadly Sins: pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. Pride lead to self-justification. The cause always is a fear.
Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts.
Never satisfied to covet the possessions of others, to lust for sex and power, to become angry when our instinctive demands are threatened, to be envious when the ambitions of others seem to be realized while ours are not.
We eat, drink, and grab for more of everything than we need, fearing we shall never have enough.
Both his pride and his fear beat him back every time he tries to look within himself. Pride says, “You need not pass this way,” and Fear says, “You dare not look!”
Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene.
By now the newcomer has probably arrived at the following conclusions: that his character defects, representing instincts gone astray, have been the primary cause of his drinking and his failure at life; that unless he is now willing to work hard at the elimination of the worst of these defects, both sobriety and peace of mind will still elude him; that all the faulty foundation of his life will have to be torn out and built anew on bedrock.
When, and how, and in just what instances did my selfish pursuit of [instinct] damage other people and me?
Ask yourself why whenever you feel: worry, anger, self-pity, and depression.
In our relationship with people, either we insist to be dominating, or to be depending.
we have buried these self same defects deep down in us under thick layers of self-justification.
Step 5: Admit our defects to ourselves, God and another human being.
Few steps are harder to take, but it's the most necessary.
We hope they'll go to the grave with us. For our own destruction.
if we have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt us and others, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts.
Thereafter comes the realization we were actors on a stage.
It breaks the suffering from isolation.
It gives humility, seeing who we truly are.
The dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed.
As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something else of great moment is apt to occur.
[to be continued]
It was designed to overcome one of the most difficult, seemingly impossible addiction. That's why it digs so deep in the human psyche.
Simplistic approach like "You want to forget your past", or "to fill your life with something else" or "your feel empty inside" only scratches the surface and is largely insufficient.
I also find it fascinating that a person need to wait to reach the very bottom before to react and do what it takes.
Most people would start this process faithfully only at the face of death.
What fascinates me also is that people just won't do that would save them. For example, it sounds paradoxical to hold on pride if it's what makes you miserable.
Here are my (long) take aways:
Step 1: Recognizing we reached the very bottom. Admitting defeat is painful. It humbles you.
Step 2: We can't make it alone. Build your faith in a greater power. With a scientific approach, try it before to deny it. What you tried so far didn't work anyway. On the contrary, this method bear fruits. Be open minded. You thought you could handle your life with your intelligence alone. It's a nice asset only if humility comes first. True humility and an open mind lead to faith.
Step 3: Turn your will and life to God. It might look impossible for an atheist. Our ego also fights it. All it takes is to try. Paradoxically, the more you are willing to depend on that external power, the more independent you become, like electricity. When your will conforms with God's, everything changes. Your whole trouble has been the misuse of willpower. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
Step 4: A fearless moral inventory of yourself.
Instincts are necessary for our survival, but excess can lead to malfunction. They subtly drive us and rule our lives. Desire for sex, material possessions, security, becoming important.
Discovering our emotional problems is a move toward their correction.
If you become dependent on your possessions, you become nothing when they're gone, and afraid the whole time until it happens.
If you impose your pursuit of wealth on others, then anger, jealousy, and revenge are likely to be aroused.
Addiction came handy to drown the feeling of fear, frustration, depression and replace it with passion.
We find excuses to hide our defects, and justify our addiction. Thinking everyone and everything has to change but ourselves.
We are beating ourselves with anger intending to use it on others.
Opening our eyes is painful and humiliating.
Seven Deadly Sins: pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. Pride lead to self-justification. The cause always is a fear.
Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts.
Never satisfied to covet the possessions of others, to lust for sex and power, to become angry when our instinctive demands are threatened, to be envious when the ambitions of others seem to be realized while ours are not.
We eat, drink, and grab for more of everything than we need, fearing we shall never have enough.
Both his pride and his fear beat him back every time he tries to look within himself. Pride says, “You need not pass this way,” and Fear says, “You dare not look!”
Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene.
By now the newcomer has probably arrived at the following conclusions: that his character defects, representing instincts gone astray, have been the primary cause of his drinking and his failure at life; that unless he is now willing to work hard at the elimination of the worst of these defects, both sobriety and peace of mind will still elude him; that all the faulty foundation of his life will have to be torn out and built anew on bedrock.
When, and how, and in just what instances did my selfish pursuit of [instinct] damage other people and me?
Ask yourself why whenever you feel: worry, anger, self-pity, and depression.
In our relationship with people, either we insist to be dominating, or to be depending.
we have buried these self same defects deep down in us under thick layers of self-justification.
Step 5: Admit our defects to ourselves, God and another human being.
Few steps are harder to take, but it's the most necessary.
We hope they'll go to the grave with us. For our own destruction.
if we have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt us and others, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts.
Thereafter comes the realization we were actors on a stage.
It breaks the suffering from isolation.
It gives humility, seeing who we truly are.
The dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed.
As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something else of great moment is apt to occur.
[to be continued]
January 12, 2015
This book is well worth keeping in your arsenal along with many other tools to help support your mental and emotional attitude when dealing with addiction or an addict, along with 'The Courage to Change' and the AA's 'Blue Print for Success'.
September 21, 2008
I live by this book. I use the 11th step prayer every morning to this day. For anyone that has had to walk down the path of Alcohol recovery, this book is a lifesaver!
July 4, 2011
This book changed my life. I have been sober since 8-12-1985!
I think working the 12 steps are essential to staying sober and living a great life.
I think working the 12 steps are essential to staying sober and living a great life.
May 16, 2012
Thank you all the anonymous writers who have shared so honestly. Our tradition is sharing experience, strength, and hope.
June 12, 2012
Great book. Explains the 12-step process of recovery, step by step. Includes information about the Traditions, or by-laws, of AA, which is how the organization has survived since 1935.
October 3, 2012
great book and good reminders of the purpose of each step and tradition. I know that i'll use this as a reference for the future.
July 13, 2015
A simple, straight forward book. We've been going through it chapter by chapter in a meeting together. Valuable if you want to get back to the steps, the building blocks of the program.
December 20, 2018
Definitely worth reading if you are going to or are working the 12 steps.
I also appreciated the information on the 12 traditions which helped me to understand al anon groups more
I also appreciated the information on the 12 traditions which helped me to understand al anon groups more
November 10, 2020
Amazing book very inspirational and explains why these steps and traditions are there
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