Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits

by Samara O'Shea

Keeping a journal is easy. Keeping a life-altering, soul-enlightening journal, however, is not. At its best, journaling can be among the most transformative of experiences, but you can only get there by learning how to express yourself fully and openly. Enter Samara O'Shea.

O'Shea charmed readers with her elegant and witty For the Love of Letters. Now, in Note to Self, she's back to guide us through the fun, effective, and revelatory process of journaling. Along the way, selections from O'Shea's own journals demonstrate what a journal should be: a tool to access inner strengths, uncover unknown passions, face uncertain realities, and get to the center of self. To help create an effective journal, O'Shea provides multiple suggestions and exercises, including:


Write in a stream of consciousness: Forget everything you ever learned about writing and just write. Let it all out: the good, bad, mad, angry, boring, and ugly.


Ask yourself questions: What do I want to change about myself? What would I never change about myself?


Copy quotes: Other people's words can help you figure out where you are in life, or where you'd like to be.


It takes time: Don't lose faith if you don't immediately feel better after writing in your journal. Think of each entry as part of a collection that will eventually reveal its meaning to you.

O'Shea's own journal entries reveal alternately moving, edgy, and hilarious stories from throughout her life, as she hits the party scene in New York, poses naked as an aspiring model, stands by as her boyfriend discovers an infidelity by (you guessed it) reading her journal, and more. There are also fascinating journal entries of notorious diarists, such as John Wilkes Booth, Anais Nin, and Sylvia Plath.

p\A tribute to the healing and reflective power of the written word, Note to Self demonstrates that sometimes being completely honest with yourself is the most dangerous and rewarding pursuit of all.

Genres: Writing, Nonfiction, Journaling, Self Help, Memoir, Diary, Art

192 pages, Hardcover

First published July 29, 2008

About the author

I've written two books paying homage to the written word and its healing powers. My third book offers inspiration and guidance to those suffering unrequited love. My books are a melting pot of personal stories, history, pop culture, literature and advice. In addition to the books, my work has also appeared in Woman's Day, Country Living, Marie Claire, and The Huffington Post. I have a master's degree in social work and am preparing to take my clinical license test in late September 2020.

Reviews

[Jesse · Rating 2 out of 5]

So as a devoted journal writer I knew the moment I spotted it on the library shelf that I would be really annoyed by what it had to say. Chalk it up to morbid curiosity, and now I almost feel bad rating this book because it was just what I expected but I made the decision to go ahead and read it anyway. So I'll be charitable and say that I'm not at all part of the target audience for this book, as I don't need tips on motivating myself to write, topics to record my thoughts on, etc, etc. But more than that I had a lot of issues with O'Shea's writing itself—it has a calculated "creative writing major" style that seems really popular these days but I find difficult to sift through (examples: the "irony" of the title, predictable sprinklings of pop culture references—Lindsay Lohan!—that were already dated at the moment of publishing, etc). To give credit where credit is due, O'Shea selects a number of really terrific dairies and journals to quote at length (Oates, Plath, Nin, Anne Frank) but that's kind of my problem—I've found that my own adventures in journaling have been most profoundly influenced and inspired by simply reading actual journals of these caliber instead of bothering with "self help" motivators. But hey, that's just me.

[Ciara · Rating 1 out of 5]

i wanted to like this book. i have been keeping diaries since i was about five. i enjoy reading published diaries from famous diarists. i actually kind of enjoy weird self-help-style books, especially when they are about "finding yourself through writing" (even though they are all so repetitive, i pretty much never actually learn anything from them). but this was not what i expected.

the author is about my age. in fact, i think she is just a hair younger. so i wasn't really expecting the kind of insight that is gleaned from many years of lived experience, but i was anticipating a fresh, sassy voice. what i got was a stilted journalism major who wrote the entire book as a diary of her career path to date & unfortunate love life. um, that's not what i came for. thank god i got this book at the library & didn't actually pay money for it. oh, & all the god/religion stuff...i wanted to gouge my eyes out. she has religion, that's awesome for her, & kudos to other religious diarists who choose to document their relationships with their deities. but it's a really tedious read, just so you know.

the worst part about this book was imagining her ex-boyfriends reading it. dear god. each chapter is about some specific aspect of what you might journal about--finding you vocational path, coming to grips with your spirituality, exploring your sexuality, etc. & somehow she managed to filter almost all of it through her trials & tribulations with men. the star of the show was some poor bastard named tyler. the author dated him for a whopping two months, & yet he makes appearance after appearance in the diary entries she includes as real-life examples, & the actual book writing in between exhaustively documents their brief time together & its profound effect on her...as if anyone cares! it was so uncomfortable to read! i mean, we have all been there (probably)--everyone has that one person they dated for like six weeks who affected them way above & beyond the time they spent together. OR SO IT FEELS AT THE TIME. then eventually you grow the eff up, get into a real adult relationship that isn't built on cotton candy dreams of all the hot sex you'd be having if only he'd answer his damn phone, & you realize that all the fantastical feelings you were having for this dude were a product of hormones & emotional immaturity. then you put the guy out of your mind & you DO NOT write a book exposing your ridiculous fantasies for all the world to see. ugh!

the author reminded me of every awkward lunch date i have ever had with a friend who just couldn't grasp the fact that her "boyfriend" wasn't really her boyfriend & wasn't going to be returning her calls unless he was drunk & horny one night. you know, the conversations where you just want to shake some sense into your friend & compel her to stop airing her dirty laundry to everyone within a ten-foot radius over a platter of samosas, but you bite your tongue & try to be quietly supportive instead. at least my friends were just giving the other diners a peek into their sorded personal lives & not writing books about their misadventures disguised as innocent, possibly intriguing books about keeping a diary. god. it's going to take a while to cleanse my mind of this book's noxious memory.

[Bakari · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought the Kindle version of this book because it's only $3.95. I thought it would read like many other books on journaling, but it turned out to be better than I thought.

O'Shea takes journal writing pretty seriously, but her book is not just about using the journaling for spiritual and healing purposes. It's more about using the journal as your personal friend, your mental processor, and your personal confessor.

I appreciate how she shares entries from her own journals, and addresses taboo subjects (sex and adultery) that are typically not addressed in other journaling books or workshops. Part of her book's content is based on her experiences as a teen and young woman in her twenties learning about herself and using her journal similarly to how other more famous journal keepers (like Anne Frank, Tennessee Williams, Joyce Carol Oats, and Annis Nin, who wrote honestly and frankly about her sexual affairs and life) have. O’Shea includes sample entries from these journal keepers, but it’s difficult to tell if she read them as she was growing up, or if she read and referenced their books for purposes of writing her own book. Nevertheless, some of the excerpts from published journals are good models for journal writing.

O'Shea recommends for her readers to "Pull out your journal and be brutally, painfully, overwhelmingly, and cathartically honest with yourself." Her advice is similar to what Nin wrote about keeping her journal: "I'm going to write the absolute truth in my journal because reality deserves to be described in the vilest terms."

Some readers will find O'Shea's journal entries about her sex life a bit titillating, and it is, but I think what she shares is a good example how important it is to use your journal for writing honestly about what's going in your life, and to confess to yourself thoughts and experiences that you might not share with anyone else. That's how personal journaling can be most useful and better than what you write in your public blog. O'Shea says it best: "Writing makes everything real without putting your actions on paper it's easier to live in denial."

Much of what O'Shea says about journaling has also been addressed in other similar books, but what also sets her book apart is her writing skills. Her use of metaphor, irony, and analogies make her writing entertaining to read. O'Shea has the voice of a professional magazine writer and blogger. She takes her craft seriously and she writes about topics and issues that many writers avoid, at least in mainstream media. I would like to make more use of analogy in my writing, which I think would make it more interesting to read.

I don't share a lot of experiences with O'Shea, but I do appreciate how she has learned the power of writing and using it as a form of expression.

[Sherry (sethurner) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have kept journals and diaries on and off my whole life, so when I saw this little volume at my local library I decided to see what it had to say. In the end it didn't have much to say to me, though a younger reader might find it useful There are some quotes I liked, like this one: "We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." -- Anais Nin. I liked that, and I was interested in her comments on other writers who also kept journals or notebooks, like Anne Frank, Samuel Pepys, Tennessee Williams, Lewis Carroll, Thomas Paine, Louisa May Alcott, and the previously mentioned Nin. Other than those bits I wasn't particularly interested in her suggestions for journaling topics or the excerpts from her journals, which mostly dealt with her love life.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Only made it to page 32 before I gave up. It just felt obnoxiously self-absorbed to me, in a way I couldn't relate to at all.

[Jessica (thebluestocking) · Rating 4 out of 5]

O’Shea takes the topic of journaling and creates a hybrid memoir/textbook-ish book. The essential thesis is that journaling honestly can be a kind of self-therapy. It can help you learn from your mistakes, to set goals, and to evaluate where you are now. The book is divided topically into sections like “Romance on Record,” “Hearts that Hurt,” “While You Were Sleeping,” and “A Day in the Life.” There’s even a section on blogging as journaling - “All the News that’s Fit to Blog.” In each section, O’Shea gives tips about how to explore and journal about the subject honestly and then gives examples from her own journals.

This method is highly effective. O’Shea assumes that you know how to purchase a journal and a pen (or a computer), and she just jumps right into how to make your journal personal, enlightening, and rewarding. The two primary “take-away” things I learned from this book are related: (1) repeal all “rules” you’ve inflicted upon yourself about journal writing and (2) write honestly. O’Shea says:

A journal is one of the only places where no one can judge you, and it should also be a place where you are not judging yourself. It’s difficult to do that when you’re already criticizing yourself for falling short of the process, so I invite you to dismiss everything you think a journal should be from your mind. Your journal is an extension of you, and therefore it can be whatever you want it to be.

According to the book, if you are brutally honest in your journal, you’ll be able to use your entries in a variety of ways. I loved O’Shea’s interpretation of prior journal entries as remnants of our “prior selves.” Keeping a journal is a good way to keep a semblance of your 16-year-old self and your college-freshman self and your newly-married self, etc. I love this idea, and it inspires me to put more of me on paper.

In all, I really enjoyed this short, honest, and personal look at journaling. I must say that each night I read a little of this book, I was compelled to also spend a little time with my journal. Now that is the best praise I can give this gem of a book.

[Borum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Note to Self




With the disappointment from Melissa Burch's book put aside, I was a little wary of picking up this book. Maybe the reception of this book was more favorable due to its comparison with the former, but unlike Melissa Burch's book which boasts of how she wrote all these great books by these four fabulous methods of journal writing, Samara O'Shea's book doesn't give you the magic formula for journal writing and tells the readers that these are just suggestions and that we don't necessarily have to follow any rules, except be honest with ourselves and write about anything (and by that, she meant 'brutally honest' and 'ANY oddball thing: whether fact or fantasy. conscious, subconscious, semiconscious (as in a drug-induced state), original or just other peoples' words)

Most of her suggestions are pretty much what I already have tried before, but what makes them interesting is excerpts and examples from her own (and even her families') diaries and letters. Sure, they can become very sappy and sometimes I get the feeling of getting too much of glimpse at her soap-drama/chick-lit life, but hey, what can be more interesting than stealing into someone else's diary (or life)? She spices up each end of her chapters with excerpts from journals of famous authors. These diaries are not edited or censored, so they are not as skillfully written as the 'completed' works of these authors but these raw, imperfect and unhindered writings reveal so much more into their lives and psyche. I personally prefer Sylvia Plath's journal to The Bell Jar, and even if Anne Frank survived and lived on to become a wonderful writer, none of her works could have been as powerful as her diaries.

Although a lot could be desired from Samara's own life, she made a good argument about writing about everything by showing how she sublimated those growing pains and found her writing spark. As a big fan of honest journal writing (not pretentious memoirs) who's going through a dry spell in writing my own journal, I hope to find that spark among some of the ashes of my life.

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

A young woman's thoughts on the how's and why's of keeping a journal or diary, with thoughts and examples.

I read this because I always had trouble keeping a journal and wanted to see how it was done by someone who finds it a rewarding experience.

The tips and tricks probably could have been boiled down to a blog post. Most of the book was taken up with examples from her personal journals and her reminiscing about her life, explaining the context of those excerpts.

Things I learned:
1. It doesn't have to be a daily record of what happened.
2. Be brutally honest with yourself. Writing your thoughts down is an excellent way to who you are.

It was a good, quick read. I was astonished by her courage and willingness to share her private thoughts and life. Not mind blowing, but I would recommend to anyone feeling the pull to keep a journal but uncertain about how to start or what others find satisfying about it.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book loaded with plenty of advice on journal writing. I enjoy her style of writing as well so that helps.

[Elaine D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Throughout my affair with this book, I found myself tripping over poignance, clarity, and refreshing honesty at every turn. Samara O'Shea brings to life the venture of journal authorship to anyone willing to sit down with a cup of coffee and listen. I picked up this and a few other writing books at the library after making a calculated decision to develop my own writing. This volume may very well have made it into my list of the most inspiring and motivating books I've read. Reading it was sitting down chatting with a kindred spirit.

When thinking about what I "learned" from the material, I can't pinpoint any exact techniques or prompts that were new to me. I've been keeping steady journals for well over a decade, so I'm quite seasoned. I suppose I took away the most from her forthright honesty with herself. Her honesty was downright startling at first (I wouldn't want my parents and grandparents knowing 90% of the things she admitted to in those pages). Although it bordered on purely autobiographical at times, her use of her own journal entries of former selves was incredible. O'Shea is terribly honest, vulnerable, & to that end, relatable. I've already seen a difference in my own journal entries in the 3 days I've spent studying her words. This book will without a doubt require a second reading someday!

[Eric · Rating 2 out of 5]

Much of the book was what I already knew, like the importance of not repressing anything while journaling; the idea of how journaling can serve various purposes instead of just the traditional usage as a record of daily events (eg. writing about goals and feelings and impulses and so on). I read the first twenty or so pages quite conscientiously and then just powered through the remaining parts of the book. I got some quotes or sayings I liked, but other than that, I felt that she was excessively sharing her own life stories and journal entries, which I was not that interested about. I initially was intrigued to read her journal entries, but beyond ten entries, I felt she was going overboard. Just ten entries for the entire book would have sufficed, instead of like over 50 entires. Overall I am not happy with the book and I have not really learned anything from it other than getting reaffirmations on what I already knew.

[Kirsten Hivon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished a while ago actually, but computer is misbehaving so this is the first chance i've gotten to write a review. Really good at giving idea's on how to start and keep a journal going. Good for me considering I haven't written in mine for 7 years. I loved the journal entries in it both hers and others, but I still don't think I have the courage to be as bold as the author in my entries, I always feel like I'm being watched. Definately worth a read if you wish to start your own journal or Blog (which is covered as well).

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked the book. If you're looking for a step by step teaching tool, this isn't it. She's just telling us about her experiences and how writing helped her. I can relate to the way she reasons with herself, so enjoyed reading it. I just didn't particularly want to know details about her sexual escapades.

[Nicole Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Along with offering useable tips for keeping a journal, Samara O'Shea's writing style is fluent and funny. A great read for anyone interested in journals and diaries, both reading published ones, and keeping your own.

[Johanna]

Terrific book for the journal lover in us all!

[Sabrina Bullock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. Many examples of journal entries, including several historic ones. Gives a multitude of ideas for topics to write about in a journal.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mix of some 4* moments and some 2* moments.

[Crystal · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a disappointment. It seemed like it was more of a vehicle to put the author’s journal entries out to the world. It seemed pretty self serving.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have a journal like mine, which is formed with lovely paper and binding, but wanting for your attention and your words .... read this book.

If you can't stop buying beautiful journals, but have no idea how you will fill one, let alone the lot of them .... read this book.

If you want to learn about yourself through your journal .... read this book.

Thank you to my local public librarian for curating this book to the display shelf so I would see it and take it home.

[Stanley Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this work up after it was recommended by a friend, usually his recommendations are 5 stars all the way, but this one fell a little flat. It is an interesting read, however I would have liked more content regarding journalling. The inclusion of examples of other famous people’s journal entries kept this work in the 3 stars territory and not something lower. Over all it was a nice read over the last several months. Recommended as a good way to get started in journalling…SLT

[pea. · Rating 2 out of 5]

what other dangerous pursuits?
why did it include so much if her journals?
really added little but annoyance.
the premise drew me to the book
... the next ended up skimming it and dropping it on the floor out of boredom.

[Olga · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cute book, I appreciated author’s shared stories,but I didn’t felt that the ideas were new or that insightful:)

[Micha Goebig · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s kinda cute and she knows a lot about journaling and presents it well. I guess it’s an age thing, but I just can’t build the interest in teenage/college diary excerpts.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

February was for reflection this year and i am glad i picked this book on journaling. It was a quick easy and very engaging read and now I know my own journals are not alone.

[Yaaresse · Rating 2 out of 5]

It takes a lot of either nerve or self-absorbed exhibitionism to sprinkle one’s diary entries among those of Tennessee Williams, Sylvia Plath, John Wilkes Booth and similarly gifted writers. My money’s on the later. John Wilkes Booth, while a nutjob, was a very good writer; his diary is historically significant and a fascinating glimpse into a zealot’s mind. Reading about how O’Shea thinks her "mouth is beautiful when it moves," how she got high and watched porn or the angst-ridden pining over various boys is histrionic rather than historic, significant only to herself and not even interesting, much less fascinating.

I checked this out of the library because someone told me it was a collection of interesting journal entries by writers, much like the book Letters of Note except using journals. Either that person didn’t really read the book or they chose to ignore 80% of the text.

This is yet another book that reads like a random collection of fluff-piece blog entries for the likes of Marie Claire or Seventeen where writing whatever pops in one’s head is often confused with having something to say. The author repeatedly tells us what a fabulous writer she is, but I didn’t see much evidence for that.

Even as a book on keeping a journal, this has little to offer by way of inspiration or direction unless “include song lyrics” and “journal your dreams” are an epiphany for you.

At one point, the author says, “A themed blog will undoubtedly bring compatible people together and make you an expert on whatever topic you choose.” No, no it won’t. Knowledge, experience, and skill make someone an expert. For every blogger who even remotely approaches mastery on a topic, there are thousands who are simply prolific dabblers. How did the topic of blogging come up? Apparently, that’s one of the “dangerous pursuits” hinted at in the title.

She also says, “Stream of consciousness writing is mental anarchy and spring cleaning all in one. It’s like going into the basement, turning the tables over, breaking the record in half, cutting the stuffed animals open with a sharp pair of scissors (and feeling much better afterward), and then putting it all out just in time for the garbage man to collect.”

That pretty much sums it all up. I suggest it’s far more constructive to simply clean the basement, donate what is usable and throw away what isn’t without all the pointless destruction and theatrics.

Two stars for the inclusion of interesting journals from historical figures and real writers with something relevant to say. One point for the bibliography so I can go to the library and read the originals. As for the rest, save your money. If you really feel you need a book about how to begin (or continue) a personal jounral, Deena Metzgers’s Writing for your Life or Christina Baldwin’s Life’s Companion have so much more to offer.

[melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have seen many reviews on this book floating around out there. Some of them are great, and some less so. But for me, this book was one that falls in the “LOVE” category. I love the voice the author uses, and how she peppers everything with blog entries, both of her own and others. She adds lots of anecdotes, both the good and the bad. She made some points which made me think, not just about journaling but about things in general. I like books that make me think, and more than that, decide WHAT I think. When I came upon this book, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to write or journal. Or what I wanted to write. Reading this gave me inspiration for both, and lots of fodder for my imagination. It also broadened my perspective on journaling. I always thought of it as more of a “Dear Diary, I had the worst day with my boyfriend…” book. And she does talk about reflecting, and recording your day, but also talks about adding song lyrics, quotes, poems, pictures, ect. And who knows? I have been wanting to start a ‘family life story’ for years. I could include some interesting details in it if I do this. I got so into the process, for a while, journaling really became my priority over writing (and sometimes reading). You know when you find a non-fiction book that is so good you can’t decide if you want to go do what it’s talking about, or stay and read more about it? This is exactly what this was like. I discovered a nice cheap hobby, if you like to write (and I do =D), and very portable, with only needing a notebook and a pen. And I didn’t even go out and buy a journal (who knew how long this would last?). I used a note book I had on hand. I was surprised how quickly it started to fill up, as I carried it with me, and used it, all the time. (In fact, I am referring to the notes I made for this review out of it, heh). I am a bit of a blogger (only 4 at current count) and I was a little afraid how the journal and blogs would work together. I am finding they coexist quite nicely together, and one doesn’t have to replace the other. There are very few books I re-read (I don’t see the point when there are SO MANY new books out there to read all the time), but this is one I can see myself re-reading. When I decided this was the case, and it was time to return it to the library, I tracked down a new copy on the internet (the only place I could find it) and bought it. Now, to get my hands on her book about letter writing…

So what is your favorite book on journaling, or journal (ex. Diary of Anne Frank)?

[sjams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't believe how much I got out of this book. I thought I of all people had nothing to learn about keeping a journal: I've been doing it on and off for long enough that I thought I knew all I needed to. Ha! Note to Self completely turned that conception around.

What I like the best about this book is its honesty. Samara O'Shea really bares all to her readers, in a no-holds-barred approach that shocked me into being more honest to myself and my friends. It's so honest that in the acknowledgments to her parents she writes, paraphrased, "There are many things parents shouldn't know about their children––and most of them are in this book."

The funny thing is that I've ruminated on honesty before and had decided to be honest to the world. I thought that meant that I was being honest to myself. This book (and a heart-shattering event that happened at about the same time) made me realize that no, I wasn't at all being honest to myself. I was hiding my feelings, I have been hiding my feelings for years, and that has been self-destructive.

Well, no more. Thank you, Samara. Thank you so much.

[R.C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun, easy read that is partly memoir, partly book on the uses and craft of journaling. I found it an interesting hybrid, with useful lists of things to do in one's journal, wise tidbits of life advice, and mostly-entertaining looks at the author's own experiences. Also, the book made me want to pick up journaling again, which I count as a total win.

The memoir aspect was the least of what I was originally looking for from the book. These were occasionally tedious, but they were tedious in that way that a good friend going on an on about her new job and new crush and whatnot are tedious: I cared enough to listen, and it made me feel a personal connection to the author. Also, the author is more than happy to poke fun at herself as a self-indulgent, overdramatic teenager, which makes it more charming. And seeing where she was and what she has to say now is part of her point with this book: that journaling helps you see yourself and get from one mental place to another. Still, it's a book very steeped in her own personal story, so if you don't like her voice, it's probably best not to keep reading. I liked her, so was happy to keep reading.

[Meghan Harrison · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was pretty into this book in the beginning. I really like keeping a journal, and thought it would be fun to seek out some inspiration and encouragement from a fellow journal-keeper. But what started out as a diary adventure quickly turned into Samara's biography with some cheesy homework assignments thrown in at the end of the chapter. I honestly didn't see much skill in this book - nothing that the average Joe couldn't have done. It was mostly just the author reminiscing on past journal entries, trying to tell me how to write my own - when I clearly have nothing in common with her. I don't relate to her at all, and I don't much respect some decisions she made (cheating on her boyfriend of two years, for starters). The entire book centered on her romantic experiences, and that seemed so backwards from the "Finding who you are" message she was trying to portray. And the last chapter was a bit of a shocker and too close to porn for comfort.

[KC · Rating 2 out of 5]

Journal-keeping is made to sound nothing like 'danger' here, and the 'other pursuits' seem to be limited to 'blogging' and 'being blogged about'. O'Shea is a competent writer, but not a very compelling one; this book is fraught with her personal history of relationship issues and loaded with deep journaling insights like "let your journal be what it wants to be!" and "don't be afraid to quote song lyrics!" (which she then follows up with Gwen Stefani and Jennifer Lopez lyrics, much to my chagrin). It's surprisingly basic and kind of condescending. Tell me something I don't know...but please, not more about how you like to be on top during sex.

She also discusses "random musings", a phrase that needs to be taken out behind the barn and shot.