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When My Heart Was Wicked
"I used to be one of those girls. The kind who loved to deliver bad news. When I colored my hair, I imagined it seeping into my scalp, black dye pooling into my veins.
But that was the old Lacy. Now, when I cast spells, they are always for good."
16-year-old Lacy believes that magic and science can work side by side. She's a botanist who knows how to harness the healing power of plants. So when her father dies, Lacy tries to stay with her step-mother in Chico, where her magic is good and healing. She fears the darkness that her real mother, Cheyenne, brings out, stripping away everything that is light and kind.
Yet Cheyenne never stays away for long. Beautiful, bewitching, unstable Cheyenne who will stop at nothing, not even black magic, to keep control of her daughter's heart. She forces Lacy to accompany her to Sacramento, and before long, the "old" Lacy starts to resurface.
But when Lacy survives a traumatic encounter, she finds herself faced with a choice. Will she use her powers to exact revenge and spiral into the darkness forever? Or will she find the strength to embrace the light?
But that was the old Lacy. Now, when I cast spells, they are always for good."
16-year-old Lacy believes that magic and science can work side by side. She's a botanist who knows how to harness the healing power of plants. So when her father dies, Lacy tries to stay with her step-mother in Chico, where her magic is good and healing. She fears the darkness that her real mother, Cheyenne, brings out, stripping away everything that is light and kind.
Yet Cheyenne never stays away for long. Beautiful, bewitching, unstable Cheyenne who will stop at nothing, not even black magic, to keep control of her daughter's heart. She forces Lacy to accompany her to Sacramento, and before long, the "old" Lacy starts to resurface.
But when Lacy survives a traumatic encounter, she finds herself faced with a choice. Will she use her powers to exact revenge and spiral into the darkness forever? Or will she find the strength to embrace the light?
192 pages, Hardcover
First published February 24, 2015
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3314 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 147 reviews
December 26, 2023
Lacy is clearly conflicted and completely compelling. At the tender age of sixteen, she has become so very good in spite of her tumultuous, tangled life; but, things change. The loss of a parent is heart-breaking and often life-changing. When that loss is followed by an abrupt and unwelcome custody change, the downward spiral spins out of control.
Flashbacks and memories reveal the characteristics of Lacy’s parents allowing the reader to understand Lacy’s influences. The vibes emanating from the recollections reach from the pages to raise the hairs on the back of your neck. Parents are palpable presences and when Lacy thinks of her father, sunshine shoots from the pages. She is light, happy, hopeful……joyous and buoyant when considering her father and his charming hippie-chick wife, Anna.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is Lacy’s mother, Cheyenne. Her unique “teaching techniques” and willingness to spend weeks without electricity did not result in a nurturing home. Rather, she burned her daughter’s wrist for asking “too many questions”, tied her to a tree to prevent “wandering”, then completely vanished without a word, leaving a broken 13-year old girl all alone.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a captivating and quick read that bravely tackles taboo topics such as “cutting”. More than merely acknowledging the existence of a disorder that plagues so many teens, by offering an answer to the common question: “why?” On some level, problems that plague Lacy are the same, or at least similar to the challenges every teenager faces. The importance of identity is not easy to address, but Ms. Stirling demonstrates how strong will, determination and knowledge can carve a unique path, even when it seems all forces are fighting to make you march down a different road.
This review was written for Buried Under Books by jv poore.
Flashbacks and memories reveal the characteristics of Lacy’s parents allowing the reader to understand Lacy’s influences. The vibes emanating from the recollections reach from the pages to raise the hairs on the back of your neck. Parents are palpable presences and when Lacy thinks of her father, sunshine shoots from the pages. She is light, happy, hopeful……joyous and buoyant when considering her father and his charming hippie-chick wife, Anna.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is Lacy’s mother, Cheyenne. Her unique “teaching techniques” and willingness to spend weeks without electricity did not result in a nurturing home. Rather, she burned her daughter’s wrist for asking “too many questions”, tied her to a tree to prevent “wandering”, then completely vanished without a word, leaving a broken 13-year old girl all alone.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a captivating and quick read that bravely tackles taboo topics such as “cutting”. More than merely acknowledging the existence of a disorder that plagues so many teens, by offering an answer to the common question: “why?” On some level, problems that plague Lacy are the same, or at least similar to the challenges every teenager faces. The importance of identity is not easy to address, but Ms. Stirling demonstrates how strong will, determination and knowledge can carve a unique path, even when it seems all forces are fighting to make you march down a different road.
This review was written for Buried Under Books by jv poore.
August 10, 2016
For more reviews and fun bookish posts, head over to Deadly Darlings!
Before getting into my review, let me tell you now that this book isn't for everyone . If you're easily offended by harsh main characters, or if you're put off by characters who have really dark thoughts, then best stay away.
Now that I've said that, I want to say that I personally really enjoyed reading When My Heart Was Wicked. I'm a big fan of dark and crazy stories, so this one was right up my alley.
This book was a psychologically engaging one more than anything else. You're going to be kept wondering what's real and what isn't, like I found myself doing. Until now, I'm honestly not sure if I'd pitch this as fantasy or realistic fiction.
Another aspect I absolutely adored was the writing. Every page was full of quotable quotes. Hell, I didn't even bother using sticky notes anymore because I'll find a quote I like no matter what page I opened to. It wasn't the lyrical sort of writing, but it was the kind that was elegant and could cut through your bones at the same time.
There were also a ton of scenes that were really surprising. The twists were ones that I promise you you won't see coming, and that will possibly leave your mouth hanging open.
When My Heart Was Wicked was a devious story, perfect for fans of books like like The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer with a less causal writing style.
Before getting into my review, let me tell you now that this book isn't for everyone . If you're easily offended by harsh main characters, or if you're put off by characters who have really dark thoughts, then best stay away.
Now that I've said that, I want to say that I personally really enjoyed reading When My Heart Was Wicked. I'm a big fan of dark and crazy stories, so this one was right up my alley.
This book was a psychologically engaging one more than anything else. You're going to be kept wondering what's real and what isn't, like I found myself doing. Until now, I'm honestly not sure if I'd pitch this as fantasy or realistic fiction.
Another aspect I absolutely adored was the writing. Every page was full of quotable quotes. Hell, I didn't even bother using sticky notes anymore because I'll find a quote I like no matter what page I opened to. It wasn't the lyrical sort of writing, but it was the kind that was elegant and could cut through your bones at the same time.
There were also a ton of scenes that were really surprising. The twists were ones that I promise you you won't see coming, and that will possibly leave your mouth hanging open.
When My Heart Was Wicked was a devious story, perfect for fans of books like like The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer with a less causal writing style.
March 19, 2015
This is the story of an edgy girl who spews out random science facts for no apparent reason.
The writing is bland, the story makes no sense, what the utter hell was even going on, and why was there such a sad attempt at romance?
There is magic involved and I don't understand how it works or why and I kind of want to just erase this from memory.
thank you to edelweiss for providing me with an e-arc
The writing is bland, the story makes no sense, what the utter hell was even going on, and why was there such a sad attempt at romance?
There is magic involved and I don't understand how it works or why and I kind of want to just erase this from memory.
thank you to edelweiss for providing me with an e-arc
November 8, 2014
I thought this book was absolutely beautiful. As one reviewer pointed out, it was short, less than 200 pages. But when I pick up a shorter novel, I know immediately to savor each word within, because, as with poetry, they are all there for a reason. When My Heart Was Wicked did not disappoint. Infused with symbolism and centered around the young protagonist Lacy’s struggle to come to terms with her own identity in the wake of her father’s death, the storyline echoes the conflict we have all faced as we have moved from childhood into young adulthood and come to terms with how we define ourselves in relation to the world around us. I loved the tension between science and magic that permeated the storyline, which mirrored the tension Lacy experienced as she struggled to integrate the light and dark sides of her personality into a whole. Even more, I loved the conversations this novel sparked with my thirteen-year-old daughter, who read it alongside me, and who is entering the space in her life when she will herself deal with some of the same issues Lacy deals with in the story, and will hopefully discover some of the same magic that can be found in truly knowing who you are.
January 21, 2016
Puhleeze.
WTF?
I actually had a hope for this one, I kept my eye on it.
And then I actually read it. Reading it was like this:
Like…..what just happened?
I was reading and reading and reading and I just kept….
Caution: Spoilers Ahead.
I don’t even know where to start. How about her cultural appropriation of Native American….everything? (clothing, etc. chopping out bits and pieces.) The fact that she thinks herbs have magical properties? (Not like the, omg-I-have-a-cold-and-mint-helps-me-breathe-again magic. Like the, ‘I-can-hex-people-to-death-and-maim-them’ kind of thing.)
How about when she resurrects a bird with blood and herbs? Creepy? Yes. Convincing? No. It’s lame. I kept rolling my eyes and hopping it was over.
I get having a difficult relationship with mothers. I have one of those relationships.
But this is totally psychotic. How about when she believes her mother has cursed her and ripped out her heart?
How about when her mother buried it in the dirt, grew poppies from it, and then drugged her daughter with the opium?
Not only does she believe it, but her mother and her mother’s best friend believes it too.
Like WTF is even going on?!
It’s not even a degenerative psychosis. She tells people about the magic and people just respond like ‘oh, ok.’ And they don’t even do anything. They don’t try to get her help, or try to talk to her to reason what exactly is going on. Everything was taken at face-value. Like if someone walked up to me and asked if I had someone in my life I’d like to black-magic-hex….I’d say, get away from me, you creeper.
I don’t know.
How about when she mentions that years ago, she ‘killed’ her brother while he was in the womb, and then they went to the river and buried his body by hand?
How about when she’s raped, and instead of going to the police, she ‘curses’ him, and then he ends up in the hospital. (later a rumor goes around that the car accident has left him impotent.) But really? Later her mother reveals that she cast a binding spell on her, so her spell against the boy didn’t work. It was just coincidence.
Wut?
So…. What was the point again?
This whole thing was off its rocker. Not only is the premise half-baked, but it’s also written in forced complicated prose. It reminds me of a toddler wearing mom’s high heels. Or like if a lawyer showed up to court in a cheer leader’s outfit and then pretended everything was normal.
The whole thing was just disturbing and not in a ‘I’m-rethinking-the-meaning-of-life’ kind of way. Just in a ‘why-does-crap-like-this-get-published’ kind of way.
There aren’t any character arcs. Heck, there aren’t any real story-arcs here either. Nothing is accomplished or learned. I’m seriously disappointed! When My Heart Was Wicked was one of my top anticipated reads of 2015. ugh.
Just skip it. Seriously, this one is a complete waste of time
WTF?
I actually had a hope for this one, I kept my eye on it.
And then I actually read it. Reading it was like this:
Like…..what just happened?
I was reading and reading and reading and I just kept….
Caution: Spoilers Ahead.
I don’t even know where to start. How about her cultural appropriation of Native American….everything? (clothing, etc. chopping out bits and pieces.) The fact that she thinks herbs have magical properties? (Not like the, omg-I-have-a-cold-and-mint-helps-me-breathe-again magic. Like the, ‘I-can-hex-people-to-death-and-maim-them’ kind of thing.)
How about when she resurrects a bird with blood and herbs? Creepy? Yes. Convincing? No. It’s lame. I kept rolling my eyes and hopping it was over.
I get having a difficult relationship with mothers. I have one of those relationships.
But this is totally psychotic. How about when she believes her mother has cursed her and ripped out her heart?
How about when her mother buried it in the dirt, grew poppies from it, and then drugged her daughter with the opium?
Not only does she believe it, but her mother and her mother’s best friend believes it too.
Like WTF is even going on?!
It’s not even a degenerative psychosis. She tells people about the magic and people just respond like ‘oh, ok.’ And they don’t even do anything. They don’t try to get her help, or try to talk to her to reason what exactly is going on. Everything was taken at face-value. Like if someone walked up to me and asked if I had someone in my life I’d like to black-magic-hex….I’d say, get away from me, you creeper.
I don’t know.
How about when she mentions that years ago, she ‘killed’ her brother while he was in the womb, and then they went to the river and buried his body by hand?
How about when she’s raped, and instead of going to the police, she ‘curses’ him, and then he ends up in the hospital. (later a rumor goes around that the car accident has left him impotent.) But really? Later her mother reveals that she cast a binding spell on her, so her spell against the boy didn’t work. It was just coincidence.
Wut?
So…. What was the point again?
This whole thing was off its rocker. Not only is the premise half-baked, but it’s also written in forced complicated prose. It reminds me of a toddler wearing mom’s high heels. Or like if a lawyer showed up to court in a cheer leader’s outfit and then pretended everything was normal.
The whole thing was just disturbing and not in a ‘I’m-rethinking-the-meaning-of-life’ kind of way. Just in a ‘why-does-crap-like-this-get-published’ kind of way.
There aren’t any character arcs. Heck, there aren’t any real story-arcs here either. Nothing is accomplished or learned. I’m seriously disappointed! When My Heart Was Wicked was one of my top anticipated reads of 2015. ugh.
Just skip it. Seriously, this one is a complete waste of time
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
to-read-or-not-to-read
March 25, 2015"I used to be one of those girls. The kind who loved to deliver bad news. When I colored my hair, I imagined it seeping into my scalp, black dye pooling into my veins.
Nopenopenope.
Nopenopenope.
July 29, 2015
When My Heart Was Wicked by Tricia Stirling is one of those rare young adult novels that gives me hope for the future of this genre. For the future of young readers. That there are real stories out there. From real story tellers. Poignant and powerful. Endearing and desperate in their cries. Echoing in the wilderness of mass market; teenage girl saves civilizations but still remains bitter and full of angst and yet uber cute and sexy too, ready for the movie screen trilogies.
Original. Yes Tricia Stirling has an original voice and When My Heart Was Wicked is her first song.
"...'Oh Lacy. You aren't like her.' She continues to hug me; she rocks me back and forth. But Anna must be forgetting how it was at first when I came to live with her and my dad. Like mother, like daughter. I have had to work hard at becoming someone good. I have had to reinvent myself. But I know that the other me is still in there somewhere, just waiting for my mother to crack me open and set her free..."
Sixteen year old Lacy has worked hard to change the kind of girl she was in the past, since her mother abandoned her and her father came to find her. But now her father has died and she is alone with her loving and kind stepmother. Her stepmother Anna believes there is still magic in the world and it is good. But Lacy knows that magic is not enough and she works to blend all magic and her love of science. Lacy also knows that magic can be bad. Very bad. Now with her father gone, things will change. Her mother Cheyenne has returned to claim Lacy and make her turn back to the girl she was.
"...I used to be mean. I was one of those girls. The kind who loved to deliver bad news. I was the girl who would flirt with your boyfriend, and if you were my best friend, even better. I would steal from other kids' desks, and I would lie to their faces. I was an angry old witch in a thirteen-year-old's body. But I've changed. I'm not like that anymore. I am a good friend. I am a good person..."
Cheyenne wants her daughter back and will stop at nothing, not even the blackest magic to take back Lacy and keep her daughter's heart. Alone with Cheyenne, the old Lacy begins to come back and those popular girls and boys in her new school who call her names and tell lies about her will soon learn who the real Lacy is.
"...She was the moon goddess. She sat on a throne made of pure silver and wore a crescent moon as a crown. Some say she wore a coat made from the skin of stags she'd hunted. Once she bathed naked beneath a full moon, and she realized she was being watched by a man named Actaeon. In revenge, she threw a handful of water at him. When the water touched him, he turned into a red deer. Then she whistled for his hounds and they came. Within moments, they had shredded their poor master to bits. But that's what happens when you betray a woman of magic..."
Soon, Lacy must decide if the powers she has are to be used to heal or harm. Will she use her magic for revenge and fall into the darkness that holds her mother or will she remember the love and goodness her father and stepmother showed her? Who will Lacy be?
The true magic in this novel. The real trick here. Is that this story is not about magic at all. It is about choices. The choice not of good and evil, but of right and wrong. The choice to do the right thing. The true thing. To sacrifice and do good for another even though you know they will not appreciate it or be grateful. The choice to love and not be obligated to love. The choice to allow yourself to be love.
Lacy is a girl, who like so many young people in this world of broken marriages and disrupted families, is two different people depending on who she is with. The good, well behaved girl when she was with her father and stepmother and the dark and brooding girl when she is with her mother. Stirling navigates this landscape very well, knowing when to deliver her character into safety and know when to allow her to tumble upon the jagged rocks. It is surprising to find such well seasoned writing in a first novel. As I said, it gives me hope.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a powerful, stirring novel. It is not to be missed!
Original. Yes Tricia Stirling has an original voice and When My Heart Was Wicked is her first song.
"...'Oh Lacy. You aren't like her.' She continues to hug me; she rocks me back and forth. But Anna must be forgetting how it was at first when I came to live with her and my dad. Like mother, like daughter. I have had to work hard at becoming someone good. I have had to reinvent myself. But I know that the other me is still in there somewhere, just waiting for my mother to crack me open and set her free..."
Sixteen year old Lacy has worked hard to change the kind of girl she was in the past, since her mother abandoned her and her father came to find her. But now her father has died and she is alone with her loving and kind stepmother. Her stepmother Anna believes there is still magic in the world and it is good. But Lacy knows that magic is not enough and she works to blend all magic and her love of science. Lacy also knows that magic can be bad. Very bad. Now with her father gone, things will change. Her mother Cheyenne has returned to claim Lacy and make her turn back to the girl she was.
"...I used to be mean. I was one of those girls. The kind who loved to deliver bad news. I was the girl who would flirt with your boyfriend, and if you were my best friend, even better. I would steal from other kids' desks, and I would lie to their faces. I was an angry old witch in a thirteen-year-old's body. But I've changed. I'm not like that anymore. I am a good friend. I am a good person..."
Cheyenne wants her daughter back and will stop at nothing, not even the blackest magic to take back Lacy and keep her daughter's heart. Alone with Cheyenne, the old Lacy begins to come back and those popular girls and boys in her new school who call her names and tell lies about her will soon learn who the real Lacy is.
"...She was the moon goddess. She sat on a throne made of pure silver and wore a crescent moon as a crown. Some say she wore a coat made from the skin of stags she'd hunted. Once she bathed naked beneath a full moon, and she realized she was being watched by a man named Actaeon. In revenge, she threw a handful of water at him. When the water touched him, he turned into a red deer. Then she whistled for his hounds and they came. Within moments, they had shredded their poor master to bits. But that's what happens when you betray a woman of magic..."
Soon, Lacy must decide if the powers she has are to be used to heal or harm. Will she use her magic for revenge and fall into the darkness that holds her mother or will she remember the love and goodness her father and stepmother showed her? Who will Lacy be?
The true magic in this novel. The real trick here. Is that this story is not about magic at all. It is about choices. The choice not of good and evil, but of right and wrong. The choice to do the right thing. The true thing. To sacrifice and do good for another even though you know they will not appreciate it or be grateful. The choice to love and not be obligated to love. The choice to allow yourself to be love.
Lacy is a girl, who like so many young people in this world of broken marriages and disrupted families, is two different people depending on who she is with. The good, well behaved girl when she was with her father and stepmother and the dark and brooding girl when she is with her mother. Stirling navigates this landscape very well, knowing when to deliver her character into safety and know when to allow her to tumble upon the jagged rocks. It is surprising to find such well seasoned writing in a first novel. As I said, it gives me hope.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a powerful, stirring novel. It is not to be missed!
February 23, 2015
This one was a pleasant surprise, though I wish it had been longer. "When My Heart Was Wicked" is a snapshot of what can happen to someone as a cause of an unstable, dangerous childhood trying to become an adult - but through the lens of Francesca Lia Block-esque magical realism. I loved this one, and it makes me feel like Stirling will be one awesome author to watch. If you're looking for a little magical realism in your tough stuff YA issues book, "When My Heart Was Wicked" is definitely the one you want to pick up.
My biggest problem with this book - the lack of development with the antagonist of this book (or well, perhaps the most major one, as there were really two), Cheyenne. While we understand she's a bad mom, kinda a bad person (though redemption seems possible in the end), we don't really understand a lot of her. She feels like a shallower version of the mother in "White Oleander" (in fact, a lot of this book feels like that book, but with more magic and witchery instead) - maybe slightly mad, or a sociopath, but with love for her daughter that's just been twisted up in all sorts of ways that psychologically "normal" people cannot understand. However, she is really pretty abusive, and does cause harm to others - both magically and normally. But I wanted more - we get slight flashes of her motives and her roots in this book, but we don't quite get enough to go on for everything to feel really solid.
So for Cheyenne in general, I think we needed one good last edit.
But for Lacy? Her character development (which, was also used as worldbuilding in one of the most creative ways I've ever seen) was spectacular, and I felt as if I were right there with her. Using her astronomical sign (Gemini) to help develop her character was brilliant move on Sterling's part - the good twin, and the bad twin. Also, the idea of her "bad self" as redeveloping in an egg was a great idea as well, and I felt like it fit very well. She was quite the sympathetic protagonist, with a little bit of unreliable narrator thrown in for good measure. All of the tricks of the trade were used for Lacy, and they all worked. I don't think I've seen that in YA recently from debut authors - or if I have, it's been only a handful. Bravo.
As for the general worldbuilding (outside of Lacy), I felt that Chico was far more developed compared to Sacramento. Or rather, if Chico was the "light", Sacramento was the under-developed "Dark". I feel like we could have had more details there about the neighborhood, about the school, about all the places Lacy was currently in and had been to in the past with her mother, etc. I wanted more details other than the Demeter's Daughter shop and the house. I really wanted more there so that the "outer" world felt more complete.
Otherwise? One of my favorite debuts of 2015 so far. If you like Francesca Lia Block's brand of magical realism (also echoed in Janet Fitch's "White Oleander"), you're going to want to pick up this book. "When My Heart Was Wicked" is out now from Scholastic in North America, so be sure to check it out when you get the chance!
(posted to goodreads and other places, including birthofanewwitch.wordpress.com)
My biggest problem with this book - the lack of development with the antagonist of this book (or well, perhaps the most major one, as there were really two), Cheyenne. While we understand she's a bad mom, kinda a bad person (though redemption seems possible in the end), we don't really understand a lot of her. She feels like a shallower version of the mother in "White Oleander" (in fact, a lot of this book feels like that book, but with more magic and witchery instead) - maybe slightly mad, or a sociopath, but with love for her daughter that's just been twisted up in all sorts of ways that psychologically "normal" people cannot understand. However, she is really pretty abusive, and does cause harm to others - both magically and normally. But I wanted more - we get slight flashes of her motives and her roots in this book, but we don't quite get enough to go on for everything to feel really solid.
So for Cheyenne in general, I think we needed one good last edit.
But for Lacy? Her character development (which, was also used as worldbuilding in one of the most creative ways I've ever seen) was spectacular, and I felt as if I were right there with her. Using her astronomical sign (Gemini) to help develop her character was brilliant move on Sterling's part - the good twin, and the bad twin. Also, the idea of her "bad self" as redeveloping in an egg was a great idea as well, and I felt like it fit very well. She was quite the sympathetic protagonist, with a little bit of unreliable narrator thrown in for good measure. All of the tricks of the trade were used for Lacy, and they all worked. I don't think I've seen that in YA recently from debut authors - or if I have, it's been only a handful. Bravo.
As for the general worldbuilding (outside of Lacy), I felt that Chico was far more developed compared to Sacramento. Or rather, if Chico was the "light", Sacramento was the under-developed "Dark". I feel like we could have had more details there about the neighborhood, about the school, about all the places Lacy was currently in and had been to in the past with her mother, etc. I wanted more details other than the Demeter's Daughter shop and the house. I really wanted more there so that the "outer" world felt more complete.
Otherwise? One of my favorite debuts of 2015 so far. If you like Francesca Lia Block's brand of magical realism (also echoed in Janet Fitch's "White Oleander"), you're going to want to pick up this book. "When My Heart Was Wicked" is out now from Scholastic in North America, so be sure to check it out when you get the chance!
(posted to goodreads and other places, including birthofanewwitch.wordpress.com)
May 10, 2017
Well, that was weird. I don't know what else to say.
February 5, 2015
More reviews (and no fluff) on the blog http://surrealtalvi.wordpress.com/
When My Heart Was Wicked is a beautifully written novella exploring influences and choices - and how we can affect or be affected by both. As spoken through the voice of 16 year old Lacy, the world of Northern California's Chico and Sacramento are just a bit mysterious but at the same time crushingly real. And at 200 pages, the prose is sparing and poignant, with each word carrying the weight of the story without overwhelming it.Story: Lacy has lived happily with her father and stepmother; the couple have taken care of her since her unstable mother suddenly abandoned her. But when her father dies of cancer, her mother returns and wants Lacy back. Lacy has no choice but to abandon the happy home she had made in Chico and move back to Sacramento. That life with her mother was one she had finally let go with the help of her father: a dark place where the only way to alleviate the pain was to cut or to steal. Soon enough, she finds herself returning to the old ways and fearing she will lose the light part of herself for good.
The book does have a bit of a supernatural element in the form of both mother and daughter having some witch-like talents. But that isn't the crux of the story so much as the reason why Lacy is so conflicted. If she has some power then there is the chance she has done bad things to others, things her mother taught her. And these things haunt her - make her feel as unworthy as her mother clearly feels she must be.
For really, this is a mother-daughter story. Of a daughter who defended the woman who callously tormented her child as a consequence of selfishness, instability, and inability to care for another individual. Lacy always blindly supported her mother, as a child does, until her father and hippy stepmother gave her stability and strength to grow beyond her mother's influence. To see that she can be happy and stop the pain.
As Lacy ends up on the wrong side of popularity in her new high school, and has to deal with her mother all over again, she spirals into despair and grapples with the return of the 'old Lacy'. Will she use her herbs to heal or curse, regressing to stealing and cutting herself, and has her mother greedily stolen her heart in order to control her? Worse, is her mother so anxious to turn Lacy into herself - perhaps to justify her own life's terrible decisions?
Despite the heavy tones, author Sterling keeps Lacy's story grounded but not crushingly depressing. Lacy has to navigate several situations in order to understand herself better - and to take the good with the bad. The difference between the Lacy of the past and the Lacy of the present is that her father and stepmother have shown her an alternative life. She is now old enough to finally have perspective: to take her own life into control and not be influenced or hurt by her mother's selfishness. To not become her mother or let her mother control her. In this way, the supernatural elements of the story are meant allegorically - the idea that her mother has her heart and that's why Lacy is becoming dark again.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a quick read and I enjoyed it very much. It is the type of YA book that you enjoy reading but also makes you recognize how important good writing is to a story. Highly recommended. Reviewed from an advance reader copy provided by the publisher.
February 24, 2015
I would be lying if I said the cover wasn’t the first thing that made me want to read When My Heart Was Wicked. It’s absolutely breathtaking, luckily the story within is also. I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t a little hesitant on whether or not I would like this book after reading the first page, but this book completely sucked me in.
Lacy Fin isn’t like other sixteen year old girls, that much is obvious from the start, she’s seen more in her short time, and she can do things the other girls can’t. Since she’s been living with her father and stepmother, she’s tried to leave the ‘bad’ Lacy behind with her mother in Sacramento, but when her father passes and her mother suddenly reappears and wants her back, Lacy fears that she won’t be able to hold onto the good person she has worked so hard to become.
Lacy was such an interesting character, she was struggling so much, not only to come to terms with her fathers death, but also who she was as a person and who she wanted to be. She had worked so hard to try to be ‘good’ and she fears the possibility that she will get caught up in her mother’s ways and end up going back to the old Lacy. She made it so easy to sympathize with her and I wanted so bad for her to end up being okay.
Stirling’s writing style is so unique, and so lyrical, it completely sucks you in, and it’s impossible not to become absorbed with Lacy’s story. I found myself flying through the book, desperate to find out what happens to Lacy.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a beautifully written story about discovering who you want to be and the hard work that follows to make sure you stay that person.
Lacy Fin isn’t like other sixteen year old girls, that much is obvious from the start, she’s seen more in her short time, and she can do things the other girls can’t. Since she’s been living with her father and stepmother, she’s tried to leave the ‘bad’ Lacy behind with her mother in Sacramento, but when her father passes and her mother suddenly reappears and wants her back, Lacy fears that she won’t be able to hold onto the good person she has worked so hard to become.
Lacy was such an interesting character, she was struggling so much, not only to come to terms with her fathers death, but also who she was as a person and who she wanted to be. She had worked so hard to try to be ‘good’ and she fears the possibility that she will get caught up in her mother’s ways and end up going back to the old Lacy. She made it so easy to sympathize with her and I wanted so bad for her to end up being okay.
Stirling’s writing style is so unique, and so lyrical, it completely sucks you in, and it’s impossible not to become absorbed with Lacy’s story. I found myself flying through the book, desperate to find out what happens to Lacy.
When My Heart Was Wicked is a beautifully written story about discovering who you want to be and the hard work that follows to make sure you stay that person.
July 6, 2016
When My Heart Was Wicked read like two distinct stories: part one is Lacy Fin, average adolescent with an estranged, unbalanced mother. Part two: meet Lacy Fin, witch, partly by mistake, partly on purpose.
When we first meet Lacy Fin, she's living with her "vanilla" stepmother, Anna, shortly after the death of her father. She's got friends, does well enough in school, loves science and plants, and is an overall normal teen. She's sad about her father's death, but she's balanced by the stable parenting Anna provides. It's been three years since she's heard from her mother, Cheyenne, and Lacy is happy about it.
Then, Cheyenne comes barging in, claiming the custody rights her biology entitles her too. Lacy is reluctant, even resistant, to moving in with her mom, but doesn't put up too much of a fight. For a while, it seems like Cheyenne might not be the crazy, drug-addicted person Lacy remembers. They're bonding over tea and shopping, like healthy mother-daughter pairs.
Except, Cheyenne has Lacy's heart. Not her figurative heart. Her physical, life-sustaining heart. Lacy's got cold hands, a wicked brain, a tendency to cast spells... And that would all be cool if there were any transition whatsoever. All of sudden, When My Heart Was Wicked goes from reliable narrator to paranormal. Even the writing style changes from descriptive and well-done to stream of consciousness, short phrases. I couldn't believe the book I was finishing was the same one I started. Unfortunately, it was a crash-and-burn ending for me, completely unbelievable, poorly executed, and sloppily finished. I give it two stars instead of one because it was still readable, and the first half was decent.
When we first meet Lacy Fin, she's living with her "vanilla" stepmother, Anna, shortly after the death of her father. She's got friends, does well enough in school, loves science and plants, and is an overall normal teen. She's sad about her father's death, but she's balanced by the stable parenting Anna provides. It's been three years since she's heard from her mother, Cheyenne, and Lacy is happy about it.
Then, Cheyenne comes barging in, claiming the custody rights her biology entitles her too. Lacy is reluctant, even resistant, to moving in with her mom, but doesn't put up too much of a fight. For a while, it seems like Cheyenne might not be the crazy, drug-addicted person Lacy remembers. They're bonding over tea and shopping, like healthy mother-daughter pairs.
Except, Cheyenne has Lacy's heart. Not her figurative heart. Her physical, life-sustaining heart. Lacy's got cold hands, a wicked brain, a tendency to cast spells... And that would all be cool if there were any transition whatsoever. All of sudden, When My Heart Was Wicked goes from reliable narrator to paranormal. Even the writing style changes from descriptive and well-done to stream of consciousness, short phrases. I couldn't believe the book I was finishing was the same one I started. Unfortunately, it was a crash-and-burn ending for me, completely unbelievable, poorly executed, and sloppily finished. I give it two stars instead of one because it was still readable, and the first half was decent.
May 7, 2016
This book was a bit darker in nature than I thought it would be but it has certainly been an enjoyable read. The dark thoughts and magic made the story interesting and out of the ordinary. At less than 200 pages I read most of this in one sitting.
March 31, 2015
This story has some pretty dark mother daughter dynamics, then took a turn for the weird. Review to come 3/29 at Winterhaven Books
April 22, 2015
review to come
July 20, 2019
This book started off super interesting, then just gets so dull I almost threw it to the DNF. The end is a decent payoff, but a bit late as I didn't care enough when it happened. The highlight of this book, is that it does a good job of making the reader question whether the magic is real or not when it comes to Lacy and her mother.
July 8, 2020
Tricia Sterling has written a really unique book about magic that has an awesome dark undertone.
Lacy’s dad has died and her mother has reappeared and its clear she wants something from her. She’s forced to move to another school and on this new unstable ground, she starts to realise that something isn’t as it should with her mother or herself. Are the dark things happening really coincidental?
You should read this if you are at all in to YA and magic, it’s beautifully written!
Lacy’s dad has died and her mother has reappeared and its clear she wants something from her. She’s forced to move to another school and on this new unstable ground, she starts to realise that something isn’t as it should with her mother or herself. Are the dark things happening really coincidental?
You should read this if you are at all in to YA and magic, it’s beautifully written!
August 27, 2021
3.5 stars
This was an interesting story, but it felt more like magical realism than fantasy to me. It was a little odd how Lacy thought that her mother had stolen her heart and soul.
This was an interesting story, but it felt more like magical realism than fantasy to me. It was a little odd how Lacy thought that her mother had stolen her heart and soul.
February 11, 2015
Wow, I didn't know what to expect from this book, but what I got was a dark tale of magic and self-discovery. The shining star of this book is the beautifully poetic writing that is reminiscent of Francesca Lia Block's magical prose. This was like, if the movie The Craft were reimagined into a contemporary, Grimm's Fairytale. Tricia Stirling is an author to watch, this was a gorgeous and impressive debut. Full review to come...
Updated 2/11/15. Original review posted on Michelle's Minions
After the death of her father, sixteen-year-old Lacy Fin is left heartbroken. She's currently living with her kind and sweet step-mother, Anna, because her birth mother abandoned her a few years ago. Over the years, Lacy has made a life for herself and she's finally in a comfortable place. She's got solid friendships and has accepted Anna after initially hating her at first because she didn't want to replace her mother. Every day since her father has been gone has been a struggle, though. Lacy feels like the world has lost it's magic. When she's finally able to pull herself out out her grief long enough to go back to school and start living her life again, everything changes. Out of the blue, Lacy's mother, Cheyenne, returns from a stint in jail to reclaim her.
When Lacy was younger, she wanted nothing more than to be with her mother. She was devastated when Cheyenne left and never came back. Even after that happened, she put her on a pedestal and fought against the good life her father and Anna were giving her. There was a time when Lacy was a very different person. She was once bitter and full of hate and she eventually came to understand that Cheyenne may have been responsible for it. Her mother wasn't such a great person after all. Lacy also remembers that Cheyenne used to use black magic, and even tried to pull her into it's dark spell. Now, Lacy is a good girl and she uses good magic. She loves botany and uses the magic of plants, combined with science, to harness their healing powers. She embraced all that was good and light. She eventually grew to love Anna and found a place to belong with a loving family. The more Lacy remembers about Cheyenne and her darkness, the more she grows to fear her. Lacy is terrified that being around her will turn her back into the evil girl she used to be, but she has no choice but to move away from everything and everyone she knows and loves in Chico to move to Sacramento with her mother.
In a new town, Lacy is faced with trying to fit into a new school while getting to know her mother all over again. She's got no friends and the people here don't seem very open and accepting. She'll face bullies and betrayal, and it will be even harder to keep herself from using black magic to get revenge on the people she encounters. She's also sure that Cheyenne is doing something to her that's making her lose her mind. Lacy will have to fight the darkness inside of her and around her if she ever wants to see the light again.
My Thoughts
Wow, I didn't know what to expect from this book, but what I got was a dark tale of magic and self-discovery. The shining star of this book is the beautifully poetic writing that is reminiscent of Francesca Lia Block's magical prose. Tricia Stirling weaves a spellbinding tale using magical realism, so yes, if you are fan of Francesca Lia Block (as I am), you absolutely must read this. How would I describe this book? Well, if the movie The Craft were reimagined into a contemporary, Grimm's fairy tale, you might get something like When My Heart Was Wicked. This book was short, but it packed quite an emotional punch. While it was dark and had paranormal elements, it also dealt with real life issues that an ordinary teen might face. Grief, abandonment, abuse, friendship, bullying and attempted sexual assault are all dealt with in this book. I would recommend this for older teens because of some of the subject matter. All in all, I was captivated by this story of heartbreak, hope, magic and redemption. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. Tricia Stirling is an author to watch, this was a gorgeous and impressive debut. Some people just really know how to put words together to make magic and she's one of them.
Updated 2/11/15. Original review posted on Michelle's Minions
After the death of her father, sixteen-year-old Lacy Fin is left heartbroken. She's currently living with her kind and sweet step-mother, Anna, because her birth mother abandoned her a few years ago. Over the years, Lacy has made a life for herself and she's finally in a comfortable place. She's got solid friendships and has accepted Anna after initially hating her at first because she didn't want to replace her mother. Every day since her father has been gone has been a struggle, though. Lacy feels like the world has lost it's magic. When she's finally able to pull herself out out her grief long enough to go back to school and start living her life again, everything changes. Out of the blue, Lacy's mother, Cheyenne, returns from a stint in jail to reclaim her.
When Lacy was younger, she wanted nothing more than to be with her mother. She was devastated when Cheyenne left and never came back. Even after that happened, she put her on a pedestal and fought against the good life her father and Anna were giving her. There was a time when Lacy was a very different person. She was once bitter and full of hate and she eventually came to understand that Cheyenne may have been responsible for it. Her mother wasn't such a great person after all. Lacy also remembers that Cheyenne used to use black magic, and even tried to pull her into it's dark spell. Now, Lacy is a good girl and she uses good magic. She loves botany and uses the magic of plants, combined with science, to harness their healing powers. She embraced all that was good and light. She eventually grew to love Anna and found a place to belong with a loving family. The more Lacy remembers about Cheyenne and her darkness, the more she grows to fear her. Lacy is terrified that being around her will turn her back into the evil girl she used to be, but she has no choice but to move away from everything and everyone she knows and loves in Chico to move to Sacramento with her mother.
In a new town, Lacy is faced with trying to fit into a new school while getting to know her mother all over again. She's got no friends and the people here don't seem very open and accepting. She'll face bullies and betrayal, and it will be even harder to keep herself from using black magic to get revenge on the people she encounters. She's also sure that Cheyenne is doing something to her that's making her lose her mind. Lacy will have to fight the darkness inside of her and around her if she ever wants to see the light again.
My Thoughts
Wow, I didn't know what to expect from this book, but what I got was a dark tale of magic and self-discovery. The shining star of this book is the beautifully poetic writing that is reminiscent of Francesca Lia Block's magical prose. Tricia Stirling weaves a spellbinding tale using magical realism, so yes, if you are fan of Francesca Lia Block (as I am), you absolutely must read this. How would I describe this book? Well, if the movie The Craft were reimagined into a contemporary, Grimm's fairy tale, you might get something like When My Heart Was Wicked. This book was short, but it packed quite an emotional punch. While it was dark and had paranormal elements, it also dealt with real life issues that an ordinary teen might face. Grief, abandonment, abuse, friendship, bullying and attempted sexual assault are all dealt with in this book. I would recommend this for older teens because of some of the subject matter. All in all, I was captivated by this story of heartbreak, hope, magic and redemption. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. Tricia Stirling is an author to watch, this was a gorgeous and impressive debut. Some people just really know how to put words together to make magic and she's one of them.
April 21, 2016
*Originally reviewed on Adele Is Reading*
TRIGGER WARNING: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempts, and Child Abuse
While this book was written well, and the main character Lacy, is interesting enough, When My Heart Was Wicked didn’t really stick with me at all. I don’t have any profound moments to look back on. To me, When My Heart Was Wicked is a book about who you surround yourself with, and letting go of the bad things you may have done in your past to move onto better things.
When My Heart Was Wicked is definitely a smaller book; it’s 192 pages, on the scale of the size the average Young Adult book is. I found the beginning to be a very slow one. The writing in this book seems to be like the view of the Lacy is in the present, but then we would read something out of her memory.
Lacy’s story seems to be that of, bad things happened to her, but when she moved to live with her dad everything seemed to change. She grew to be this girl who would be nice, and wouldn’t want to do bad things to people. She wanted to go out and help people, not hurt them.
When My Heart Was Wicked by Tricia Sterling is a book that I’m not really sure what it’s about honestly. If anything, the point of this story is to see that some people; even if they’re your family, aren’t good for who you want to be. The writing in this book is definitely one I don’t see often. There are harsh truths to this story, and then there are moments when the writing; Lacy’s thoughts are very prevalent. Lacy’s choices really truly define her.
That’s all for my review of When My Heart Was Wicked. I wish there was more to say, I do. I get bummed out when a book I was looking forward to turns out to be just all right.
TRIGGER WARNING: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempts, and Child Abuse
While this book was written well, and the main character Lacy, is interesting enough, When My Heart Was Wicked didn’t really stick with me at all. I don’t have any profound moments to look back on. To me, When My Heart Was Wicked is a book about who you surround yourself with, and letting go of the bad things you may have done in your past to move onto better things.
When My Heart Was Wicked is definitely a smaller book; it’s 192 pages, on the scale of the size the average Young Adult book is. I found the beginning to be a very slow one. The writing in this book seems to be like the view of the Lacy is in the present, but then we would read something out of her memory.
‘I stare at the moon. The man in the moon, forever trapped in a howl, stares back.’
Lacy’s story seems to be that of, bad things happened to her, but when she moved to live with her dad everything seemed to change. She grew to be this girl who would be nice, and wouldn’t want to do bad things to people. She wanted to go out and help people, not hurt them.
‘”I do love you,” I whisper. But I know what the butterfly knows. The struggle to leave the cocoon is what strengthens the butterfly’s wings so she can fly. I am about to become something beautiful.’
When My Heart Was Wicked by Tricia Sterling is a book that I’m not really sure what it’s about honestly. If anything, the point of this story is to see that some people; even if they’re your family, aren’t good for who you want to be. The writing in this book is definitely one I don’t see often. There are harsh truths to this story, and then there are moments when the writing; Lacy’s thoughts are very prevalent. Lacy’s choices really truly define her.
That’s all for my review of When My Heart Was Wicked. I wish there was more to say, I do. I get bummed out when a book I was looking forward to turns out to be just all right.
May 18, 2016
Very surprising read. Was not expecting it to be as dark or fascinating as it was. Read it in one sitting and highly recommend it. Uplifting ending, despite everything.
Lots to talk about regarding what's actually happening to Lacy, what she's dealing with and how she's growing. Fantastic discussion book. Quite a few people seemed to dislike it for its handling of grittier topics and even a few cited cultural appropriation regarding the mentioning of Native peoples in connection to magic. I personally think this "cultural appropriation" is a bit of a stretch, mostly because I don't believe (at least I can't remember, so feel free to remind me) that it was ever specifically stated what heritage Lacy and her family was. I assumed because of several references to ancient cultures and stories she'd heard throughout her childhood that Lacy's maternal family was more than likely Native themselves.
I do think that the author made a point to create a stark contrast between Lacy and, say, Olive who sported a Taino tattoo because it was "cool" and didn't really understand its meanings or the people it belonged to.
As for the magic - I feel like this was a metaphor. Not, exactly, in the book. I think that the magic happening in the book was meant to be very real, but I believe the author was utilizing the magical elements to help make some points about what was going on and how Lacy was struggling. Lots of Light/Dark and Innocence/Depravity all fighting against each other. I think there were several very poignant points made, and in only such a few pages (under 200).
This book certainly won't be for everyone, but I honestly think it's a shame that there are several people reading the 1 star reviews and then removing the book from their TBR list without trying it out for themselves. Again, this would be a great group discussion book.
Trigger Warning: Abuse, attempted rape, self harm, mental illness
Lots to talk about regarding what's actually happening to Lacy, what she's dealing with and how she's growing. Fantastic discussion book. Quite a few people seemed to dislike it for its handling of grittier topics and even a few cited cultural appropriation regarding the mentioning of Native peoples in connection to magic. I personally think this "cultural appropriation" is a bit of a stretch, mostly because I don't believe (at least I can't remember, so feel free to remind me) that it was ever specifically stated what heritage Lacy and her family was. I assumed because of several references to ancient cultures and stories she'd heard throughout her childhood that Lacy's maternal family was more than likely Native themselves.
I do think that the author made a point to create a stark contrast between Lacy and, say, Olive who sported a Taino tattoo because it was "cool" and didn't really understand its meanings or the people it belonged to.
As for the magic - I feel like this was a metaphor. Not, exactly, in the book. I think that the magic happening in the book was meant to be very real, but I believe the author was utilizing the magical elements to help make some points about what was going on and how Lacy was struggling. Lots of Light/Dark and Innocence/Depravity all fighting against each other. I think there were several very poignant points made, and in only such a few pages (under 200).
This book certainly won't be for everyone, but I honestly think it's a shame that there are several people reading the 1 star reviews and then removing the book from their TBR list without trying it out for themselves. Again, this would be a great group discussion book.
Trigger Warning: Abuse, attempted rape, self harm, mental illness
May 8, 2015
Probably this needs a special shelf with WITCHES OF WORM, SEASON OF THE WITCH and a couple more. Every one of them is well done, with the enduring question of whether the occurrences are due to cast spells, or merely co-incidence. In this case, Lacey was raised by her mother to believe she has the power to control others, and a strong leaning toward darkness. But her step-mother, who has had an equally strong influence on her life, has taught her to support and enjoy the life around her. When Lacey's father dies when she is sixteen, she is sent back to live with her mother, and must learn and choose what she really wants to do with her life, if it is possible to escape her mother's will.
July 27, 2015
Magic in both subject and words, Tricia Stirling crafts a wonderful story of a girl between two worlds trying to emerge into becoming who she desires to be while still gathering pieces of the past--memories of her lost father, fragments of her possessive and erratic mother, all while clinging to her previous life in Chico while trying to fit in living in Sacramento. While young adult coming-of-age books are common, what makes this book unique is the struggle between the mystical and the real and the impact on our lives. The book explores these without defining one as better than the other, but that they reside on the same plain, side-by-side, ever present in our lives. Stirling's 1st novel is a true joy and speaks to both youth and adults alike.
August 17, 2018
Le daré 4 de 5 a este libro. Es un libro para adolescentes, pero es muy intenso y oscuro. Muestra realidades que puede vivir una adolescente entre pérdidas familiares, una madre con problemas mentales y las dificultades que se enfrentan en la secundaria. Pero a eso le agregan una pizca de magia, esa magia "natural" que necesita de la naturaleza y la fe para que exista.
Cada escenario está tan bien descrito que podía hasta imaginar los olores y los colores de los escenarios.
En fin, una historia breve, pero emocionante y perfecta para una tarde de frío con té.
Cada escenario está tan bien descrito que podía hasta imaginar los olores y los colores de los escenarios.
En fin, una historia breve, pero emocionante y perfecta para una tarde de frío con té.
April 17, 2015
I've never read something like that. This book truly was unique, a wonderful book about a mother-daughter relationship with a twist of magic.
I love Stirling's writing style; I felt the book was incredibly well written and very poetic.
This book for sure wasn't something I was expecting, but I am happy to have read it.
A more detailed review will soon be up!
I love Stirling's writing style; I felt the book was incredibly well written and very poetic.
This book for sure wasn't something I was expecting, but I am happy to have read it.
A more detailed review will soon be up!
December 28, 2014
Like Lois Duncan for a new generation. With swearing.I would have devoured this when I was in junior high. #nostalgia
March 5, 2015
4.5 stars. This was a really unique book, and it was short and sweet. The designs for the chapters and the cover are some of the most beautiful illustrations I've ever seen in a book!!
February 13, 2016
Different, but alright.
April 28, 2018
This was a frustrating one for me. It started off well, but the rest left me disappointed. The motivation of the characters felt off to me for most of the book. Our main character, Lacy, fears her mother, but wants to be like her at the same time. She disagrees with her on almost everything, but then goes along with her without a fight. I never felt like we were given a good reason to perceive her as a threat other than variations of Lacy deciding "there's no point fighting, she always wins." In fact, this may be one of the first YA books that doesn't use the trope of snarky MC who goes against authority. I thought that would be refreshing, but not in this case.
I also wanted to find a book that played with magic in a more realistic setting. It was a prominent piece of the book, but it also felt like its inclusion was sloppy. Instead, we got a lot of classic/overused tropes in the subplot with her and her classmates
Overall, it was an easy read, and it did not take long to get through, it just baffled me at times the way it was put together. I would say give it a chance though, because while it wasn't for me, it might be for you.
I also wanted to find a book that played with magic in a more realistic setting. It was a prominent piece of the book, but it also felt like its inclusion was sloppy. Instead, we got a lot of classic/overused tropes in the subplot with her and her classmates
Overall, it was an easy read, and it did not take long to get through, it just baffled me at times the way it was put together. I would say give it a chance though, because while it wasn't for me, it might be for you.
November 26, 2017
Lacy is happy living in her small town with her lovely stepmother after the death of her father. She tends her garden, cuddles her cat, and looks for the magic in everything. But when her mother returns to take her back, Lacy is thrust back into a life she has been trying to leave behind. There is something sinister at work in Lacy's life now and she must fight to get rid of it, lest it takes over her.
This is a witchy, flowery, sad little book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Lacy is so full of grief, which is only deepened when she's pulled from her home by her estranged, cruel mother. It was heartbreaking watching her be dragged away from herself and how she devolved into a shadow of herself. But it was admirable how she came back to herself, learning about her past and her present to improve her future.
It was fascinating to read about her relationship with her mother too. Cheyenne is a sad character. She's suffered and she lets that suffering taint every aspect of her life. It's almost what happens to Lacy as well except that Lacy learns from her mother's past. It was interesting to see how their relationship changed throughout the book.
This just feels like an important book to me. It's magical and strange and it reminded me of me. Young and full of darkness but trying to be better than that, to make better choices. Because sometimes, when your heart is wicked, that's all you can do. Try to make better choices.
Warnings: Suicide attempt, self-harm, child abuse, sexual assault, bullying.
This is a witchy, flowery, sad little book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Lacy is so full of grief, which is only deepened when she's pulled from her home by her estranged, cruel mother. It was heartbreaking watching her be dragged away from herself and how she devolved into a shadow of herself. But it was admirable how she came back to herself, learning about her past and her present to improve her future.
It was fascinating to read about her relationship with her mother too. Cheyenne is a sad character. She's suffered and she lets that suffering taint every aspect of her life. It's almost what happens to Lacy as well except that Lacy learns from her mother's past. It was interesting to see how their relationship changed throughout the book.
This just feels like an important book to me. It's magical and strange and it reminded me of me. Young and full of darkness but trying to be better than that, to make better choices. Because sometimes, when your heart is wicked, that's all you can do. Try to make better choices.
Warnings: Suicide attempt, self-harm, child abuse, sexual assault, bullying.
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