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Directions to Servants

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Directions to Servants is one of Jonathan Swift’s last completed works. It displays all his caustic skill as a satirist and his unerring eye for the little annoyances of life. Taking the form of a handbook of manners, and addressed to each servant individually, Directions to Servant s is the ultimate upstairs/downstairs battle. With scathing wit, Swift pits master against servant in an endless struggle for order, frugality, and the best bits of the roast. His servants are lazy, profligate, and acquisitive—always on the lookout for a shilling to be made on the sale of leftovers, or a half-bottle of wine to share with the cook. Written in Swift’s final years of sanity, Directions to Servants is a last hilarious outpouring of cynicism at a lifetime’s accumulation of poor service. Irish clergyman and satirist Jonathan Swift is best remembered for his philosophical parody Gulliver’s Travels.

96 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1731

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About the author

Jonathan Swift

5,032 books2,126 followers
Jonathan Swift was an Anglo-Irish satirist, author, essayist, political pamphleteer (first for the Whigs, then for the Tories), poet, and Anglican cleric who became Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin, hence his common sobriquet, "Dean Swift".
Swift is remembered for works such as A Tale of a Tub (1704), An Argument Against Abolishing Christianity (1712), Gulliver's Travels (1726), and A Modest Proposal (1729). He is regarded by the Encyclopædia Britannica as the foremost prose satirist in the English language. He originally published all of his works under pseudonyms—such as Lemuel Gulliver, Isaac Bickerstaff, M.B. Drapier—or anonymously. He was a master of two styles of satire, the Horatian and Juvenalian styles.
His deadpan, ironic writing style, particularly in A Modest Proposal, has led to such satire being subsequently termed "Swiftian".

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
Profile Image for Dimitri.
176 reviews73 followers
June 2, 2024
Potete litigare l’uno con l’altro quanto vi pare, purché teniate a mente che avete un nemico comune, cioè il padrone e la padrona, e che avete una causa comune da difendere.

I consigli malandrini per servire bene e, in caso di problemi, per farla sempre franca.

Quando un servitore è licenziato, tutte le sue colpe debbono essere riferite, anche se quasi tutte ignote al padrone o alla padrona; e tutte le malefatte degli altri debbono essere attribuite a lui.

Ce n’è per tutti. Per il maggiordomo:
Non c’è bisogno di pulire il coltello prima di tagliare il pane per la tavola, perché tagliandone un pezzetto o due si pulirà da solo.

Per la cuoca:
Se un grumo di fuliggine cade nel brodo, ed è troppo laborioso tirarlo fuori, rimestalo bene, e darà al brodo un aromatico gusto francese.

Per il valletto:
Togli o metti in tavola i piatti di portata con una mano sola, per mostrare alle signore la tua forza e il nerbo della tua schiena; ma fallo sempre in mezzo a due signore, perché se il piatto dovesse sfuggirti, la minestra o la salsa cada sui loro vestiti e non sporchi il pavimento: con questo sistema due o tre colleghi, miei buoni amici, hanno messo le mani su ragguardevoli fortune.

Per il cocchiere:
Siano i tuoi cavalli così bene ammaestrati, che quando porti la tua padrona a fare una visita, restino loro ad aspettare mentre tu t’infili in una birreria vicina, per bere un boccale con un amico.

Per la cameriera:
Non portar giù i vasi da notte, che non son cose da far vedere, ma vuotali fuori dalla finestra, per riguardo alla tua padrona. Non sta affatto bene che i servi maschi sappiano che le dolci signore hanno bisogno di simili utensili; e non pulire il pitale, perché l’odore fa bene alla salute.

Per la fantesca:
Quando lavi una stanza qualsiasi sulla strada, di sera, getta l’acqua sporca fuori della porta di strada; ma bada bene di non guardare davanti a te, perché chi si prende l’acqua addosso non debba pensare che sei maleducata, e che l’hai fatto apposta.

E molti consigli sono validi tuttora, per qualsiasi lavoro.

Non prestarti mai a muovere un dito fuorché per lo specifico lavoro per cui sei stato assunto.
Profile Image for Tanabrus.
1,976 reviews186 followers
January 5, 2016
Conoscevo Swift solo per I viaggi di Gulliver, e pensavo quindi all’autore come dedito alla satira e all’ironia, pur non conoscendo praticamente niente della sua vita.
Sono rimasto sorpreso di scoprire che ha diviso la sua esistenza tra l’Inghilterra e l’Irlanda, e ancora più sorpreso di saperlo pastore.
Non mi ha sorpreso affatto, invece, la sua produzione satirica.

Questo libro rientra pienamente in questa produzione satirica, anche se purtroppo buona parte dell’umorismo si perde a causa dei 300 anni di divario tra l’epoca in cui è stato scritto e l’epoca in cui l’ho letto. E sopratutto è un’opera incompiuta: mentre le prime sezioni sono ampie e abbastanza curate, le sezioni successive si fanno sempre più brevi e abbozzate. Ci aveva lavorato per molti anni, saltuariamente, ma è morto prima di poterlo ultimare.

Istruzioni ai domestici è una sorta di manuale per i servitori, una parodia dei libri di casa in cui, fingendosi un vecchio con sette anni di servizio come domestico nelle case dei signorotti inglesi, elargisce consigli ai vari tipi di domestici che abitavano le residenze dei facoltosi.
Consigli su come comportarsi in ogni tipo di situazione, ma consigli dati da domestico a domestico.

Quindi consigli su come fare la cresta, su come assentarsi senza venire scoperto, su come vendicarsi per ogni minimo torto -vero o supposto che sia. Decine e decine di piccole rivalse, in un periodo in cui la servitù non aveva il minimo diritto.
Consigli sarcastici e ironici, per un manuale che diventa, nella sua satira, un manuale per i padroni. Gli mostra le bassezze cui possono arrivare i servi, gli spiega come tenerli d’occhio, a quali piccolezze prestare attenzione.

I servi sono una folla di mezzi delinquenti, i padroni sono spesso totalmente ignari di chi hanno in casa e di cosa viene fatto alle loro spalle, tutti presi dalla loro falsa morale e dal mantenimento delle apparenze richieste dalla società in cui vivevano.
E sostituendo domestici e padrone con lavoratore e capo può venir fuori una sorta di manuale di guerriglia lavorativa, opportunamente modernizzato e modificato.

Una lettura rapida e tutto sommato piacevole, considerate comunque l’età e l’incompiutezza.
80 reviews2 followers
March 6, 2010
As with everything by Swift, this book is funny, caustic and unrelenting. The only problem is that it is so limited in scope. Very much a "One Trick Pony". It also, by its very nature is somewhat limited by its topical nature. I enjoyed it, but could not rank it with "Gulliver's Travels", or " A Tale of A Tub" (Which I've just started).
Profile Image for Kayla Tornello.
1,649 reviews14 followers
June 27, 2014
I always enjoy good satire and Jonathan Swift is a master. This was a short little book, but it was packed full of biting satire. Unfortunately, Swift never finished this piece, so some parts are just mere snippets. This book is obviously very dated, but I was very interested in learning about the duties of servants of that time period.
Profile Image for Panu Mäkinen.
332 reviews3 followers
February 28, 2016
Ohjeita palvelusväelle on kokoelma jekkuja, joilla palvelusväki voi viihdyttää itseään kartanonväen kustannuksella. Osa neuvoista on hyvinkin asiallisia, kuten seuraava ratkaisu rikkoutuneiden lasien ongelmaan:

»Jos isännällä on suuri varasto laseja ja jos sinä tai muu palvelusväki satutte rikkomaan niistä yhden hänen tietämättään, pidä se salassa, kunnes laseja ei enää riitä kattaukseen. Silloin voit kertoa isännälle, että ehjät lasit ovat loppuneet. Näin hänen tarvitsee suuttua vai kerran, mikä on paljon parempi kuin harmistua kerran tai kaksi viikossa, ja hyvän palvelijan velvollisuutenahan on järkyttää isäntää ja rouvaa mahdollisimman harvoin.»


Suurin osa neuvoista keskittyy kuitenkin isäntäväen nöyryyttämiseen, häikäilemättömään oman edun tavoitteluun ja suoranaiseen kiusantekoon. Vinkkien hyödyllisyydestäkin voi olla monta mieltä, kuten tästä klassisesta tuolimetkusta:

»Kun aterian jälkeen ruoka siunataan seisoaltaan, napatkaa yhdessä toisten palvelijoiden kanssa tuolit isäntäväen ja vieraiden alta, jotta he aikoessaan taas istuutua kellahtaisivat selälleen, mikä herättää kaikissa suurta hilpeyttä.»


Ohjeita palvelusväelle (1731) on kuitenkin kiehtova kuvaus 1700-luvun englantilaisesta herraskartanoelämästä. Teoksessa käydään läpi vajaat parikymmentä palvelusammattia, joista tärkeimpiä ovat hovimestari, keittäjä, lakeija ja erilaiset kamarineidot ja -siivoojat. Yhteen pötköön luettuna teos muuttuu kuitenkin nopeasti aika puuduttavaksi. Lisäksi kirjan loppupuoli vaikuttaa jokseenkin keskeneräiseltä ja viimeistelemättömältä.
Profile Image for Janez.
93 reviews9 followers
April 19, 2017
Almost everybody did watch the British TV series "Downton Abbey" or the comedy "You rang, m'lord". These series (and, no doubt, others of the kind) evolve around two distinct, yet closely related worlds, joined together in the same household: the "upstairs" and the "downstairs", or with other words, the masters and the servants. Jonathan Swift's Direction to Servants is a sort of didactic manual, or satirical instruction to the servants as to how to do their duties or how to behave in the presence of their betters. Swift elaborates these directions to the numerous categories of the "valetaille". It goes almost without saying that the masters are, according to Directions to Servants, always on the losing side!!
Profile Image for Marisol.
909 reviews80 followers
March 9, 2020
Un manual hecho de forma detallada, como una forma de guía para dummies, en este caso para sirvientes, desde la cocinera, el cochero, el lacayo,etc.

Instrucciones que al parecer siempre son tomadas al pie de la letra, como romper platos, tirar el contenido de los orinales por la ventana y no lavarlos, perder mucho el tiempo cuando los andan a un recado e inclusive llegar hasta el otro día.

En fin un libro con mucho humor, sátira, inteligencia.
Profile Image for Emmy.
2,406 reviews55 followers
February 18, 2023
I should have know, considering that this was Jonathan Swift, that it would be heavy satire. But, I'll be honest, as I started reading, some of the shocking bits of advice offered caught me completely off-guard! All the same, this was a terribly funny book recommended by a friend, and I'm glad that I read it.

My only comment is that it would have been nice to read this with a bit more context, as I don't know much about the responsibilities of a butler, footman, groom, or chambermaid, etc.
Profile Image for Bere Tarará.
532 reviews34 followers
July 29, 2020
El único defecto de este libro es que Swift no lo terminó. El autor despliega su conocido arte irónico de forma tan elegante que saca carcajadas de los hechos más sórdidos
Profile Image for Rebecca.
863 reviews86 followers
October 5, 2022
Despite the fact that societal servant/master relationships are dated (thankfully)(someone could counter that argument), this scolding towards the less loyal and honest hired (?) help fell flat.
Aim your fiery arrows at those higher, not lower, than thee, Swift, lest the foundation on which you balance sets aflame.
Profile Image for Raoul.
28 reviews3 followers
March 18, 2020
A masterpiece of subversive humour.
Profile Image for Maria Azpiroz.
344 reviews10 followers
April 30, 2024
Swift no terminó esta obra y el texto que se presenta corresponde a la edición de 1746. Aún siendo un texto inacabado y no pulido, es muy divertido y solté varias carcajadas. Swift fue un sirviente con enorme talento pero lógicamente pobre. Su mirada ácida sobre las personas y las situaciones cotidianas es muy actual. Muchos de los ejemplos uno los puede ver hoy en día en el ámbito empresarial: "Cuando hayas cometido una falta, muéstrate siempre insolente y descarado y compórtate como si fueras la persona agraviada; eso minará de inmediato la moral de tu amo o señora". Y esta: "no se te ocurra mover un dedo para cualquier labor que no sea aquella para laque has sido específicamente contratado"y otra brillantez "Si quiere el azar que tu amo o tu señora te acusen falsamente una vez en la vida, eres un sirviente afortunado, pues, por cada falta que cometas mientras estés a su servicio, sólo tienes que recordarles su falsa acusación y declararte, igualmente inocente en el caso presente". Es cierto que hay muchos ejemplos demasiado antiguos como los que tienen que ver con las velas y los candelabros pero con un poco de imaginación, aplican hoy. Me encanta imaginar lo que hubiera sido un Swift en una de nuestras oficinas 8-5. No se salvaba nadie.
Profile Image for Nacho Cuadrado.
249 reviews7 followers
May 20, 2020
Intrucciones para los sirvientes.

Obra del escritor Jonathan Swift, famoso por su novela "Los viajes de Gulliver." Sátira imaginativa y pesimista sobre la sociedad y el ser humano, en sí.

Swift siempre se afianzó en el género de la sátira. Que cultivó hasta el punto de demostrar sus imensos dotes imaginativos y de crítica social.

En Instrucciones para los sirvientes, Swift, valiendose de su experiencia como Lacayo y secretario de Sir William Temple, como también al tener, años después, a su disposición sus propios sirvientes, expone un conjunto de advertencias, ordenes y consejos; Con el fin de mermar, aplacar e incluso facilitar el rigor e injusticias a las que se exponen todos aquellos criados que componen toda la servidumbre en general, así se trate del mayordomo, la cocinera, el lacayo, la doncella, el criado de cuadra, el aya, la institutriz, etc..

Nuevamente quedan impregnadas la jocosidad, ironía, humor negro, irreverencia y versatilidad que constituyen el ingenio y maestría de este escritor.
Profile Image for Hannah of Camelot.
21 reviews
December 23, 2023
This was one funny book. I enjoyed it a lot.

Effectively constituting a long list of directions to servants, which are more like canny titbits of advice from an experienced cynic, Swift's satirical work reveals the devices of servants in a hidden, private sort of way. We find out about their scrimping and saving on candlewax, alcohol and effort, how they might flavour the soup with chimney soot by accident, or tromp mud up the stairs to save wearing down the boot scraper. We learn about precisely who will defend the footman for his terrible coffee-brewing, how the maid might get out of breaking a priceless Japanese vase, and the many little excuses one can make for being drunk or caught out frolicking with a sweetheart.

A punchy little pocket of pure enjoyment.
Profile Image for Bruno.
26 reviews2 followers
September 2, 2017
Répétitif. Trop répétitif. Les conseils de Swift aux différentes catégories de domestiques finissent par tous se ressembler. L'argument principal consiste à apprendre aux employés à duper leurs maîtres à la moindre occasion. Swift a rédigé ce texte (inachevé) à la fin de sa vie alors qu'il souffrait d'importantes pertes de la mémoire. Sans doute une des raisons qui donne l'impression au lecteur de tourner un peu en rond et de relire des passages déjà formulés à plusieurs reprises et pour différents types de professions tout au long de ce (court) pamphlet...
Profile Image for zahylí chavez.
6 reviews2 followers
March 9, 2025
could not stop laughing, satire at its finest but also “directions” that are so well written that makes you wonder a whole story, a whole tale behind every recommendation, first one from Swift and loved it, some things were hard for me to understand because we no longer use those methods but I think that most of the book is timeless
Profile Image for Monur B..
221 reviews9 followers
March 24, 2018
Tutsak edilmiş ruhların (hizmetkarlar) düşülebilecek en aşağı insanlık noktasına düşmesini salık vermenin çok iyi hiciv olacağını düşünmüş sanırım Swift reyiz. Kölelerin alçaklaşmasını teşvik etmenin satirik olduğunu iddia eden bir kitap. En iyi ihtimalle sıkıcı.
Profile Image for Gulliver's Bad Trip.
282 reviews30 followers
July 21, 2021
Meio repetitivo porém breve. Uma sátira sobre a criadagem de séculos atrás que, mesmo assim, pode ser lida pelos muitos profissionais subservientes existentes até hoje em dia. Ou ainda não lida, o que não altera as relações entre senhores e servos visíveis por qualquer um.
Profile Image for Alhena.
274 reviews
March 6, 2019
Curioso y algo entretenido, pero repetitivo. Quizá si se le añadiesen imágenes o fotos de los diferentes empleados a los que se da "instrucciones" sería más ameno.
Profile Image for Borja Santos Perea.
105 reviews
August 4, 2022
No me ha convencido del todo, me impactó y me reí bastante más con "Una humilde propuesta".
Profile Image for Flavia .
253 reviews140 followers
January 24, 2023
Al di là dell'ironia che contraddistingue il signor Swift, questo libricino ci ricorda che vita miserabile sia quella della servitù.
Profile Image for Bailee.
52 reviews3 followers
January 21, 2025
Specifically read "Directions to the Footman" for class. It was funny and satirical as are all of Swift's works.
Profile Image for Markku.
Author 5 books4 followers
July 2, 2019
Oikein näppärää ja vitsikästä, mutta kun on lukenut pari sivua on lukenut jo koko kirjan...
Profile Image for Vel Veeter.
3,601 reviews64 followers
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May 6, 2023
This is a curious, satirical set of essays and musings written by Jonathan Swift in 1745, of Jonathan Swift fame.

Here’s an odd wording from the author’s bio: “Written in the author’s final years of sanity…”

And on that charming note!

So what the book looks like, and this depends largely on your edition, is a few longish pieces and several smallish ones. The result comes across as a kind of writing that loses steam over time, and the short pieces do not tend to represent a sharper, more concise wording or wit. The longish pieces stand as printed directions for servants to use in adhering to the rules and orders of maintaining a house. But a few earnest sounding ones quickly give way to clearly satirical ones. It’s entirely written in the second person as a set of commands, and each rules is presented in an entirely dry tone with the undercutting material coming afterward, but without giving up any of the false confidence and authority presented.

What is up for question, at least as I read it: is the satire targeting the servants and servant class, or the aristocracy? And I think the answer is yes. I have to imagine your original position in reading this document entirely shapes how you consider this question. I can imagine someone used to being served and simply seeing it as the way of the world as reading this, giving ironic directions to servants and carefully instructing them on how to misbehave and be lazy would see this as showing them up. But if you are a servant, and you recognize your own behavior in this book, you probably recognize the utter absurdity of the rules of order being undercut.
Profile Image for Sarah.
435 reviews17 followers
November 15, 2015
This is a book full of cunning plans for the smart servant. In modern management speak you might say Swift’s suggestions allow for working smarter not harder. Despite being first published in 1731 it’s still very readable today. Obviously attitudes have changed hugely as this quote from the Directions to the waiting maid shows; “Five guineas for handling your breast is a cheap pennyworth, although you seem to resist with all your might; but never allow him the last favour under a hundred guineas, or a settlement of twenty pounds a year for life”.
An alternative title for this book could be “Working Smarter Not harder In The 18th Century”.
Profile Image for Fourborne.
144 reviews13 followers
February 18, 2012
I thought it would be great to read this since I've become an Downton Abbey fan, but I was disappointed with this so called handbook for servants. It may be the difference in the era, but some of his advice wasn't nice.
Profile Image for Suketus.
998 reviews47 followers
July 25, 2013
Ilkikurinen pienten ohjeiden kokoelma, joka osoittaa Swiftin satiirin terävyyden, mutta on yhteen putkeen luettaessa tylsistyttävä.
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